How to teach a kid a haiku...

[SherryTex]

A friend of mine has a kid who is supposed to write a haiku a week as part of his writing class (he's in 5th grade). She was looking for ideas on the following: 1)kid friendly examples
2) how to critique other than to ensure the 5 7 5 form
3) Any teaching techniques or creative ideas you might have and be willing to share. Thanks to all of you for your imput.

I've never had much luck with haikus so I'm afraid I'm no help.

[Godfather]

gather 'round children,
listen and learn the secret
to writing haikus

well, it goes like this
first line is 5 syllables,
then 7, then 5.

but don't you forget
you can write a l'il haiku
however you want.



ok, trying to be kid friendly and making it up on the spot too.......

[crashbam]

My answer won't be in haiku form. Sorry!

I took a writing class many years ago and the instructor said that the 5-7-5 is less important than these general concepts:

1. Simplicity, strip it down to it's bare essence. No extra language, ie. "frog", rather than "the frog"

2. The haiku should express either conflict or contrasting situations.

However, I'm sure his teacher is going to insist on the 5-7-5.

Here's an example of two I wrote for that class:

Thunderous clouds
Storm threatens.
Rainbow cuts sky.

***

Icy winds.
Flame warms inside,
Like brandy.

[P.H.Delarran]

The first thing I learned is that Haiku is not just about syllable count, each word matters and should produce an image or relationship. Here's how I remember being taught back in school:

first line; state a noun, try to use a short descriptive rather than articles

strong striped tiger

or

weeping willow tree


second line; describe an action performed by the subject,showing location can work too, (even inanimate object can 'do ' something), keep it in the present tense if possible.

crouches in long swaying grass

or

offers shade to grassy hill

third line;( now here's where my memory gets foggy) I think I was taught to then pick another object affected by the actions of the first subject, or to pick something that contrasts the first object but is still related. this is actually clarified by the second line, so sometimes you have to work backwards. you could even have him pick two contrasting objects first, then work in the middle line to connect them.

nervous gazelle flees

or

picknickers relax


strong striped tiger
crouches in long swaying grass
nervous gazelle flees

weeping willow tree
offers shade to grassy hill
picknickers relax
--------
As for critiquing, try to point out extra articles 'the' , 'and', 'a' and suggest replacing them with more descriptive words. crouches in the swaying grass becomes crouches in long swaying grass
It's kind of a difficult form at that age because they have been taught to be careful about using whole sentences. So not using articles, especially at the beginning, is a switch. Tell him to think of it as a picture, his mind does not see 'a tiger', his mind sees 'tiger'. A simple way to describe haiku is word pictures. another tip is to try to get him to pick less common words, to stretch his vocabulary, like i could have used 'knoll' for hill.

[Rivana]

1)
My crayon can paint
a new world on my paper.
Are we a painting?

2)
Is there an idea behind the poem that conveys something beside the initial imagery? Haiku is supposed to be something big wrapped up in something small, kind of like an expensive watch in a tiny package. Something profound or note worthy hidden inside the ordinary (or extraordinary). Preferably.
If it includes nature in some way, that's also a bonus.
Contrasts or equating one thing with another.

3) If someone has a hard time getting the 'syllable concept', just have them clapping their hands while reading a haiku.
To get the writing juices flowing, do the haiku game with the end line of the first haiku being the first line in the second.
Tell them a little about the history of haiku. Like how it was one of the most respected forms of poetry in Japan, something a samurai could ponder their whole life to get just right. How it later evolved into also being used in games like writing a whole book of haikus were each one dealt with a set subject matter in some form or another. Like writing a whole book with the word rose in mind...or something to that affect.
Tell them that in poetry it's ok to not be long-winded or have perfect grammar.

I don't know, really, teaching's not my forte.
Good luck though. :-)

[Dario D.]

Fifth-graders are smart. They may be short, but they're smart. I think all you need to do is show them a few poems, and they'll catch right on.

[poetinahat]

All good responses, I think. Let me put out the BatSignal to Bret and JAlpha -- would like to have them chime in. (Bret's already offered some thoughts on the Haikuicide thread.)

If it were me, I'd start with Dario and Godfather's advice, then build on them with the rest, depending on where interest goes.

Fine thread, really. Good question, Sherry -- hope the responses help!

[pconsidine]

I think one of the most important things in teaching kids poetry of any kind is to convey as emphatically as possible that what they think and what they feel are ALWAYS worth writing down. I know many kids often feel like their interests aren't poem-worthy. But a fully-realized poem about even something as "unimportant" as a Lego toy (which I actually remember reading) can still move the reader - which is the goal of poetry, no?

It's difficult to get a youngster to get comfortable with that kind of introspection, but I think at that age, it's the highest virtue of teaching poetry.

Just my 2¢, of course.

[ddgryphon]

http://homepage2.nifty.com/haiku-eg/

I love this site and maybe some inspiration can be drawn from it.

I did this once (taught children Haiku) but it was probably 22 years ago. I remember three things about it:

Counting syllables (5-7-5)

The Haiku moment: Keeping it a simple observation about a single moment without complicating it.

Poetry with 5th graders was more fun than I imagined.

Good luck.

[SherryTex]

Dear Everyone,
I have cut and pasted all of your excellent advice into an email for my friend. The teacher had told him his poem was not good because it was just adjectives and nouns describing --she gave each kid a picture of an animal to use for inspiration.

He did something like Tusk, strong, large and happy
and went on to do the next two lines in a similar manner, not wanting to use the word elephant to eat up all his syllables.

His mom is hoping that these tips will keep him from feeling like he can't do it. Thanks to everyone and your awesome ideas. --Sherry Tex

[P.H.Delarran]

not good? oh that's the worse thing to tell a kid about any of their work. hopefully the mother can counter that.

[pconsidine]

I'm fully with P.H. on this one. I'm somewhat dismayed by the teacher's lack of imagination when it comes to directing students to what he/she is after.

I might not mention this to the child in so many words, but one of the few concrete lessons I learned after spending over 25 years in the arts is that, when it comes to creative pursuits, a grade is only a measure of how well you pleased the teacher. It's almost never a measure of the quality of the work.

[ddgryphon]

I'm fully with P.H. on this one. I'm somewhat dismayed by the teacher's lack of imagination when it comes to directing students to what he/she is after.

I might not mention this to the child in so many words, but one of the few concrete lessons I learned after spending over 25 years in the arts is that, when it comes to creative pursuits, a grade is only a measure of how well you pleased the teacher. It's almost never a measure of the quality of the work.

From your mouth to G-d's ear. Grading in the Arts is completely subjective. Burt Bacharach (you know Oscar and Tony winning composer) never pleased his professors -- they hated his old fashioned dependence on melody. Charles Ives, a giant of 20th Century American Music, was once begged by a professor to "not use all of the keys at the same time."

And just my 2 pence, but "tusk, large, strong Happy" is a wonderful opening line for Americanized Haiku.

If he can overcome this harsh and unhelpful criticism, while learning that statements like that aren't useful crtique, he will be stronger for it.

Wouldn't mind hearing the whole Haiku.

[SherryTex]

I'll ask my friend for the orriginal if she's willing.

As a person who was told by her English teacher to "Just forget it." when I wanted to be in the accelerated class, (I then vowed to get a Ph.D in the damn subject so I could come get her fired) --didn't, but I did plan that, I was also upset that this was the response. I have cut and pasted your words to my friend and thank you all for your help.