Common mistakes made by first time writers of romance

brainstorm77 · Sep 9, 2006

What do you think are the most common mistakes made by first time writers of romance?

veinglory · Sep 9, 2006

I haven't read that many but IMHO it is having emotions leap around too much so the heroine seems flighty or dwell on the same issue for chapter after chapter making her seem passive and angsty. I like emotion but it should respond to the environment and change sensibly.

Stacia Kane · Sep 9, 2006

Lame conflict. The evil ex-girlfriend that tells the heroine she and the hero are still together, and if the heroine would just talk to the hero she would know the truth. Any conflict that could easily be solved by the two people having one simple conversation is a lame conflict.

Aubrey · Sep 9, 2006

Flat, unrealistic, too perfect characters, AKA Mary Sues and Gary Stues. If I don't find myself endeared to the characters in some way I won't bother finishing the book. If the plot isn't one that soley revolves around the characters I'll be a little more generous, but in a romance novel I HAVE to care.

JanDarby · Sep 9, 2006

Not understanding the difference between bickering and bantering, especially in stories that are supposed to be comedies.

Sort of related: the "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I LOVE you" syndrome, where the hero and heroine are bickering just b/c the author knows she needs to have conflict, but not how to do real conflict or how to argue without being mean, and then all of a sudden they're in bed declaring undying love for each other.

Oh, and substituting slapstick (which seldom works in a written medium, b/c it's more a visual thing) for deeper, character-based comedy.

Wait, wait, I've got another one. Trying too hard to be like "real life." The "oh, but my cousin met her husband exactly this way" syndrome, where we're treated to the standard small talk that real people use to get to know each other over the standard awkward first restaurant date, which should be condensed and exaggerated and generally made more interesting and bigger than real life in fiction.

Mostly, really, it's lack of real conflict, now that I think of it. The things above are just variations on that theme.

JD

NCwriter · Sep 10, 2006

I have no clue if these are the most common mistakes, but my first ms was filled with all kinds of problems (although I didn’t know it at the time). Pages of info-dumping, point-of-view issues, telling instead of showing, scenes that served no purpose, etc. Thankfully my current ms are a little better

although I still struggle with some things, such as passive writing--I don't think I'll ever get a grip on that!

brainstorm77 · Sep 10, 2006

NCwriter said:
I have no clue if these are the most common mistakes, but my first ms was filled with all kinds of problems (although I didn’t know it at the time). Pages of info-dumping, point-of-view issues, telling instead of showing, scenes that served no purpose, etc. Thankfully my current ms are a little better although I still struggle with some things, such as passive writing--I don't think I'll ever get a grip on that!

I've been told i overwrite scenes, i am guessing that means i include more then is needed. Still learning here.

Jenny · Sep 10, 2006

Lack of conflict's my problem.

I peeked at the Harlequin page where the editors list their peeves (with manuscripts

) and was abashed to find - the overuse of "gaze". Oops - off to replace that pesky word!

brainstorm77 · Sep 10, 2006

Jenny said:
Lack of conflict's my problem.

I peeked at the Harlequin page where the editors list their peeves (with manuscripts) and was abashed to find - the overuse of "gaze". Oops - off to replace that pesky word!

I read that same page, I found it really helpful.

Irysangel · Sep 10, 2006

Jenny said:
I peeked at the Harlequin page where the editors list their peeves (with manuscripts) and was abashed to find - the overuse of "gaze". Oops - off to replace that pesky word!

Link please!

sunandshadow · Sep 10, 2006

A fairly common mistake I see is the inappropriate beginning - a grisly murder to kick of a happily-ever-after romance?

Also sex at nonsensical times, like when the hero is half-dead.

Heather Lewis · Sep 11, 2006

Jenny said:
Lack of conflict's my problem.

I peeked at the Harlequin page where the editors list their peeves (with manuscripts) and was abashed to find - the overuse of "gaze". Oops - off to replace that pesky word!

Yes, where can we find that page? Sounds interesting.

MelRandall

brainstorm77 · Sep 11, 2006

http://www.eharlequin.com/cms/learntowrite/ltwArticle.jhtml?pageID=060901wz02001 here is the link.

Kasey Mackenzie · Sep 11, 2006

sunandshadow said:
A fairly common mistake I see is the inappropriate beginning - a grisly murder to kick of a happily-ever-after romance?

Also sex at nonsensical times, like when the hero is half-dead.

Er, what about when the hero is newly-resurrected from being all-dead? *grin*

Sonarbabe · Sep 11, 2006

Loved the link. I don't think I qualified for many of their pet peeves (Thank God!) but instead of "gaze" my overused word of choice is "peered". I really have to watch that. I had one Beta reader tell me if she saw it one more time she was going to reach through the computer screen and beat me. :tongue

ETA: I took out an astonishing 24 "peers".

LilaDubois · Sep 11, 2006

DecemberQuinn said:
Lame conflict. The evil ex-girlfriend that tells the heroine she and the hero are still together, and if the heroine would just talk to the hero she would know the truth. Any conflict that could easily be solved by the two people having one simple conversation is a lame conflict.

YES! agh! this makes me crazy.

In real life I am the chick who would freak and run away heartbroken rather then just ask...

maybe that is why I can't stand it in books.

hmmm...

Heather Lewis · Sep 11, 2006

Thanks for the link.

I just did a search on my WIP and found one "gaze" in 30,000 words. Phew! (I have more of a problem with "just"...)

MR

brainstorm77 · Sep 11, 2006

MelRandall said:
Thanks for the link.

I just did a search on my WIP and found one "gaze" in 30,000 words. Phew! (I have more of a problem with "just"...)

MR

No prob

The one thing that stuck out to me was the dislike of the term ' half breed'. I can totally understand how it is offensive, still I do see it used in newer books alot.

Sonarbabe · Sep 11, 2006

The only thing with "half-breed" is in my vampire (horror) stories is that's what they're called! It's meant to be derogatory. They're half-vampire, half-mortal.

Aubrey · Sep 11, 2006

That link is very useful, and a lot of those points applies to work of any genre, especially the submission part. I can only imagine how maddening it is for publishers when the writer doesn't take a bit of the editors suggestions to heart.

BTW, I couldn't believe they actually had to put on there "Authors who can't remember their own character's names". I'm amazed people actually send in manuscripts with this flaw!

Another pet peeve (in anything) is the females who have the emotional maturity of thirteen year olds. They can't do a darned thing for themselves, whine and cry all the time and never stand up for themselves. You don't have to be Xena but at least have an ounce of self confidence. Otherwise it's not a romance, it's an angsty character study.

100% flawless characters. At the very least make your character bite his/her nails or forgets to put the milk back in the fridge.

I'll admit I don't really read romance novels in the traditional, Harlequin sense. I tend to prefer deeper stuff that's still romantic. But hopefully my opinion is no less valid.

Jenny · Sep 11, 2006

Sorry I didn't put the link in originally - slap for laziness!

I agree with Aubrey about flawless characters - it's hard to get conflict when one character is perfection - they just won't fight! grr.

I liked the link because they kind of said what I love about romances - they're fantastical adventures - overdrawn enough to be an escape from reality. And all adventure stories involve the reader's willing suspension of disbelief. I think the challenge then as writers is to present such wonderful characters and situations that readers want to suspend disbelief, lose themselves in the world we create.

Sorry for the rambly-ambly. I'm trying to think through what I'm doing with a draft I'm revising. Thinking outloud via the keyboard!

kristie911 · Sep 11, 2006

OMG! I used the word gaze or gazed 15 times in 350 pages. I would have said I never used it. Damn! If they request a full from my partial, I'm taking some of them out!

L.Jones · Sep 12, 2006

The overuse of gaze is probably because of those 'this is the way we write our books' kind of teaching that ridicules the use of the word eyes - oh, his eyes really rolled???? Hey, that's the expression we use, unclench and write in terms people recognize. Eyes meet and eyes roll sometimes.

I haven't read new submissions for a couple years but the last contest I judged this was the big issue for me, the writers had produced technically clean, near perfect manuscripts that left me bored out of my gourd. All of them had gotten so fixated on getting all the 'rules' right that they did not take time to make sure they had a compelling story and characters.

You can fix technical flaws but if you don't have a story and characters the reader cares about, that's going to take a lot of work to correct. One rule that I always cling to - make LESS work for an editor and you'll get along a lot better.

annie jones (The Sisterhood of the Queen Mamas - Dec 06 - ps just got a very nice PW review)
Luanne Jones (Heathen Girls - Mira Books)

Sonarbabe · Sep 12, 2006

Ha! Eye rolling! Though some people say not to use family as Beta readers, Mama Sonarbabe is a die hard Harlequin Blaze reader and she won't hesitate to tell me that my story isn't up to snuff. Well, one of her biggest pet peeves with my writing is that I sometimes tend to also overuse the phrase "she rolled her eyes". It drives her nuts. So, I have to make sure that I sprinkle that in there carefully. I like to think that my stories aren't too terribly boring though.

Stacia Kane · Sep 12, 2006

Ha! Mine almost never roll their eyes, but they shrug all the d*mn time. It's like they've all been struck by St. Vitus' Dance.

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