Puking

K-Mark · Aug 29, 2006

Move this if this should be in Story Research. I wasn't sure.

What is a good sound for puking? "aaaahhhh!" That's what I am using now, but is there something better. I'm drawing a blank. I know I can just write, he puked, but for a bit of humor, I want the sound effect. Any suggestions?

Shadow_Ferret · Aug 29, 2006

Aaaahh! Sounds almost like a satisfied sound.

Personally, I'd avoid sound effects and just try to describe the vomiting in a humorous manner.

Something like:

He sounded like my cat bringing up a hair ball.

MidnightMuse · Aug 29, 2006

I'd agree with the Ferret here - sound effects only work if this is a follow-along audio book. And I can't think of anything close to a written effect that would relate rolfing.

He gurgled like a sewage back-up?

*runs off to spew*

K-Mark · Aug 29, 2006

I know what you are saying, but I think it works better with a sound. Here is why.

"Eat it. What's the worse it's going to do, make you sick?"

Scene cut #

"Ahhhhh!" Or sound effect of puking in a toilet.

MidnightMuse · Aug 29, 2006

Oh, is this a screenplay? I misunderstood, my bad

Shadow_Ferret · Aug 29, 2006

Well, unless someone else here is really good with onomatopoeia, I'd still say your best to avoid the sound effects and try to simply describe it.

*shrugs*

And if it's a screenplay, well, me too, sorry. Carry on.

Jamesaritchie · Aug 29, 2006

K-Mark said:
I know what you are saying, but I think it works better with a sound. Here is why.

"Eat it. What's the worse it's going to do, make you sick?"

Scene cut #

"Ahhhhh!" Or sound effect of puking in a toilet.

I don't think it works better with a sound effect. Especially unless you can come up with one any reader will recognize immediately. "Aaaahh" isn't it. That's what the doctor makes you say when he examines your throat.

Sound effects are for movies. Descriptions are for books.

Zolah · Aug 29, 2006

Hmmm. To me, it would be more like: 'Hurggh-bleuurbblegghh-ack-ack-bleeuurbblegghh-ack' but I don't know if that has quite the same ring to it.

K-Mark · Aug 29, 2006

No, it's prose. So like you guys said, I do have the option to write it out. I just liked this effect, but only if I could pull it off. It's a humorous chapter, so I think the sound effect makes it funnier than some form of "He puked". Thanks for the help, Midnight Muse, James, and Shadow Ferret.

Zolah, not bad. Maybe a shorter version of that.

AnneMarble · Aug 29, 2006

Well who can resist a thread with a title like that?

I included a couple of puking scenes in my latest story, and some in the last one as well. I didn't bother with a sound. I just would say something like "I puked all over him." Or "Guy puked all over the deck." Whatever was most appropriate to the scene.

I probably went to far with the scene when Guy puked on the deck, and the bad guy who was trying to kill the MC slipped on the vomit just before he could cut down the MC. But I couldn't resist.
:ROFL:

Billytwice · Aug 29, 2006

Last time I spoke to God on the porcelain telephone, someone asked how I knew His name was 'Huewy.'
The converstion went something like this: 'Oh God - HUEWY - I'll never touch Jack Daniels again - HUEWY.'

SpookyWriter · Aug 29, 2006

Ryan felt his throat tickle. He hadn't wanted to admit it before, but his girlfriend was a lousy cook. The meatballs were covered with hair from her cat and he tried desperately to keep from gagging as he swallowed each bite, slowly, and washed it down with creme soda.

His stomach hurt something bad. He hadn't felt so terrible since...well he couldn't remember such pain. The swish of creme and furry meatballs began to creep up the lining of his esophagus. He tried to smile.

"Burp."

A chunk of cat hair returned to the surface and lodged itself between his teeth and lower lip. He pulled it away at about the same time as his stomach lurched.

The feline soup and vittles splattered across the surface of Gloria's pleaded dress. She gasped. "Oh my god, Ryan. Just look what you did to my new outfit. Mother is going to kill you."

Ryan grasped for a breath. "I'm dying here, can't you see that!"

"Well that will teach you for trying to eat while petting my kitty."

LeeFlower · Aug 29, 2006

Aaah, puking. A subject near and dear to my heart (I do a lot of it. Migraines).

In my experience, it's more of a coughing, gagging sound. It's not a vocal really... at least for me. I'm far more concerned with keeping the sunflower seeds from the seven-grain bread I had for lunch out of my nose than I am with making any noise.

You could try this:

"Eat it. What's the worst it could do? Make you sick?"

##

Tony whiped his mouth off, flushed the toilet, and got up to look for the toothpaste. At least it had tasted better coming back up.
---

emeraldcite · Aug 29, 2006

rroarfff

Scrawler · Aug 29, 2006

ralph!

scribbler1382 · Aug 29, 2006

Scrawler said:
ralph!

Damn, Scrawler beat me to it.

K-Mark · Aug 29, 2006

Ralph is pretty good, but since this is a MG book, I'm looking for a little more silly. Right now the top two for me are Rrooarf and Hurggg. Huewy gets honorable mention

scribbler1382 · Aug 29, 2006

Roald Dahl must have some awesome ones, but I can't think of any of his off-hand. I remember reading that Roald would sit in his writing shed for hours coming up with new sounding words for his books. Must have been awesome to sit outside the door and listen!

Parkinsonsd · Aug 29, 2006

Having puked on numerous occasions and as a reuslt of numerous influences, I feel it is absolutely imperative that you address, in the sound, the cause of the puke -

now a simple stomach flu would initially be a quick rumble followed by the splatter of puke in he bowl
grrrrooooolspppllooosh.

the "I drank too much" puke would be a quick turnaround by the booze,
hrrughllspplooosh. Again, it's liquid so it will sploosh.

Eating your mom's meatloaf.

hrraugh, hrraugh, hraugh (please note the dry heaves as your body tries to forcibly eject the offending substance) hrrraaaauuuuugghhlll - splack (the hyphen represents the amount of time the said offending substance takes to get from your mouth to the floor. You missed the toilet, by the way)

Now cat hair is going to take multiple rasping dry heaves (hhrrssaaackll) followed by a short space then an exquisitely painful "Ack" which represents the last spasm, i.e.: hhrrrssaacckl - hhrrassaccklssl - hrrsackarrshack - - aaack!

Please don't inquire as to my personal experience with the cat hair. It's not a pretty story.

Scrawler · Aug 29, 2006

I vote for hrrughllspplooosh because reading it almost made me.

K-Mark · Aug 29, 2006

hrrraaaauuuuugghhlll!!!

That's my winner. I used it, hope you don't mind

Sent you a rep point in return. It fit perfect.

SpookyWriter · Aug 29, 2006

K-Mark said:
hrrraaaauuuuugghhlll!!!

That's my winner. I used it, hope you don't mind Sent you a rep point in return. It fit perfect.

That's perfect! OMG! I think this sound is going to lift your writing up to the same level as Dickens. Good job!

L M Ashton · Aug 29, 2006

Why, oh why, did I open this thread?

I spend far too much time puking as it is.

Why?

And why did I have to read evil Spookywriter's fur soup post? Why?

What is wrong with me?

I think I'll go puke now.

SpookyWriter · Aug 29, 2006

quidscribis said:
Why, oh why, did I open this thread?

I spend far too much time puking as it is.

Why?

And why did I have to read evil Spookywriter's fur soup post? Why?

What is wrong with me?

I think I'll go puke now.

Don't forget to write down the experience. Writers need notes on bodily functions just in case we decide to use them in our romance novels.

L M Ashton · Aug 29, 2006

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