PDA

View Full Version : Limericks Live!


Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 [16] 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90

PrettySpecialGal
01-17-2007, 09:28 AM
A flea and a fly on a floe,
Stood eskimo-like, toe to toe.
The flea asked, "Do you?"
The fly shyed, "Who knew?"

K1P1
01-18-2007, 01:29 AM
A flea and a fly on a floe,
Stood eskimo-like, toe to toe.
The flea asked, "Do you?"
The fly shyed, "Who knew?
Then their noses they rubbed to and fro.

Keat's shark kept its ears open wide

Kate Thornton
01-18-2007, 01:57 AM
Keats' shark kept its ears open wide
As poetry's sound was its pride

Pthom
01-18-2007, 03:43 AM
Keats' shark kept its ears open wide
As poetry's sound was its pride
But as we all know,

Unique
01-18-2007, 04:09 AM
Keats' shark kept its ears open wide
As poetry's sound was its pride
But as we all know,
it's a hard row to hoe

JDCrayne
01-18-2007, 06:12 AM
Keats' shark kept its ears open wide
As poetry's sound was its pride
But as we all know,
it's a hard row to hoe,
And a long and most difficult ride!


What is the slimy green spot?

Cath
01-18-2007, 06:15 AM
What is the slimy green spot?
It looks like somebody forgot

K1P1
01-18-2007, 09:13 PM
What is the slimy green spot?
It looks like somebody forgot
To throw out the spinach

Pthom
01-19-2007, 02:42 AM
What is the slimy green spot?
It looks like somebody forgot
To throw out the spinach
Along with the ostrich

JDCrayne
01-19-2007, 09:22 AM
What is the slimy green spot?
It looks like somebody forgot
To throw out the spinach
Along with the ostrich
And avoid all the slugs on the lot.


That damsel without any clothes,

Pthom
01-19-2007, 11:08 AM
That damsel without any clothes
Discovered some nice pantyhose

Meaney
01-19-2007, 11:25 AM
That damsel without any clothes
Discovered some nice pantyhose
but th' saddle made ladders

K1P1
01-19-2007, 04:26 PM
That damsel without any clothes
Discovered some nice pantyhose
but th' saddle made ladders
which exposed her to adders

truelyana
01-19-2007, 04:37 PM
That damsel without any clothes
Discovered some nice pantyhose
but th' saddle made ladders
which exposed her to adders
and just about ripped off her mauves




That forrest beyond the sunset

K1P1
01-19-2007, 07:11 PM
That forest beyond the sunset
Has a hermit who on his buns set

PrettySpecialGal
01-20-2007, 02:52 AM
That forest beyond the sunset
Has a hermit who on his buns set
but then, every night

MidnightMuse
01-20-2007, 02:55 AM
That forest beyond the sunset
Has a hermit who on his buns set
but then, ever night
there'd come such a fright!

JDCrayne
01-20-2007, 08:24 AM
That forest beyond the sunset
Has a hermit who on his buns set
but then, ever night
there'd come such a fright!
Whenever a gibbering ghost he met!


I think I got lost in the rhyme,

K1P1
01-20-2007, 05:18 PM
I think I got lost in the rhyme,
Distracted by all of the slime,

PrettySpecialGal
01-22-2007, 05:18 AM
I think I got lost in the rhyme,
Distracted by all of the slime,
but as slime and rhyme go,

PattiTheWicked
01-22-2007, 06:14 AM
I think I got lost in the rhyme,
Distracted by all of the slime,
but as slime and rhyme go
it's not bad, you know,

MidnightMuse
01-22-2007, 07:10 AM
I think I got lost in the rhyme,
Distracted by all of the slime,
but as slime and rhyme go
it's not bad, you know,
We do that here 'bout every time.


Last night I got truly obsessed,

JDCrayne
01-22-2007, 07:11 AM
Last night I got truly obsessed,
Over slacks that never were pressed.

PattiTheWicked
01-22-2007, 07:40 AM
Last night I got truly obsessed,
Over slacks that never were pressed.
A rather large wrinkle

Meaney
01-22-2007, 07:47 AM
Last night I got truly obsessed,
Over slacks that never were pressed.
A rather large wrinkle
made plural from single

K1P1
01-22-2007, 08:21 AM
Last night I got truly obsessed,
Over slacks that never were pressed.
A rather large wrinkle
made plural from single
Shoved me from concerned to distressed!

An immoderate man with a gun

Meaney
01-22-2007, 09:44 AM
An immoderate man with a gun
in society finds he's undone

K1P1
01-22-2007, 06:07 PM
An immoderate man with a gun
in society finds he's undone
He must hide his piece

Unique
01-22-2007, 06:51 PM
An immoderate man with a gun
in society finds he's undone
He must hide his piece
from foraging geese

K1P1
01-22-2007, 08:00 PM
An immoderate man with a gun
in society finds he's undone
He must hide his piece
from foraging geese
Who'd really prefer a plum bun.

Snow and ice stream from the air

Unique
01-22-2007, 08:17 PM
Snow and ice stream from the air
and then it gets caught in my hair

K1P1
01-22-2007, 08:41 PM
Snow and ice stream from the air
and then it gets caught in my hair
it drips down my nose

JDCrayne
01-23-2007, 07:06 AM
Snow and ice stream from the air
And then it gets caught in my hair
It drips down my nose;
It dampens my clothes,

Cath
01-23-2007, 07:14 AM
Snow and ice stream from the air
And then it gets caught in my hair
It drips down my nose;
It dampens my clothes,
And creeps you don't want to know where.


My girlfriend just swallowed an ant

K1P1
01-23-2007, 07:29 AM
My girlfriend just swallowed an ant
She said it had eyes on a slant.

JDCrayne
01-23-2007, 08:54 AM
My girlfriend just swallowed an ant
She said it had eyes on a slant.
With horrified rage,

PrettySpecialGal
01-23-2007, 10:17 AM
My girlfriend just swallowed an ant
She said it had eyes on a slant.
With horrified rage,
She jumped out of her cage

K1P1
01-23-2007, 05:57 PM
My girlfriend just swallowed an ant
She said it had eyes on a slant.
With horrified rage,
She jumped out of her cage
Stamped her feet and went into a rant.

A genteel young lady from Paris

PattiTheWicked
01-23-2007, 06:45 PM
A genteel young lady from Paris
said she would happily dare us

Unique
01-23-2007, 07:43 PM
A genteel young lady from Paris
said she would happily dare us
to fly through the air

K1P1
01-23-2007, 07:48 PM
A genteel young lady from Paris
said she would happily dare us
to fly through the air
with a devil-may-care

JDCrayne
01-24-2007, 07:51 AM
A genteel young lady from Paris
said she would happily dare us
to fly through the air
with a devil-may-care
chance at the big wheel called Ferris!


She fumbled and fell through the air,

K1P1
01-24-2007, 07:57 AM
She fumbled and fell through the air,
And still kept her seat in the chair

Meaney
01-24-2007, 09:09 AM
She fumbled and fell through the air,
And still kept her seat in the chair
And landed just peachy

Pthom
01-24-2007, 12:55 PM
She fumbled and fell through the air,
And still kept her seat in the chair
And landed just peachy
But a large tin of Litchi

Meaney
01-24-2007, 04:20 PM
She fumbled and fell through the air,
And still kept her seat in the chair
And landed just peachy
But a large tin of lychee
Spilled fruits and juice everywhere.

Don't ask how I swallowed my face

PattiTheWicked
01-24-2007, 05:35 PM
Don't ask how I swallowed my face
It ended up in the wrong place

K1P1
01-24-2007, 11:07 PM
Don't ask how I swallowed my face
It ended up in the wrong place
It's stuck in my gullet

MidnightMuse
01-25-2007, 12:23 AM
Don't ask how I swallowed my face
It ended up in the wrong place
It's stuck in my gullet
I choked on that mullet.

JDCrayne
01-25-2007, 06:11 AM
Don't ask how I swallowed my face
It ended up in the wrong place
It's stuck in my gullet
I choked on that mullet
and garnished my rear with some lace.


I somehow got lost on the train,

Meaney
01-25-2007, 10:45 AM
I somehow got lost on the train,
and discovered I'd swallowed my brain

:Wha:

Unique
01-25-2007, 03:46 PM
I somehow got lost on the train,
and discovered I'd swallowed my brain
although it was tasty

K1P1
01-25-2007, 05:41 PM
I somehow got lost on the train,
and discovered I'd swallowed my brain
although it was tasty
my meal was quite hasty

Meaney
01-25-2007, 06:42 PM
I somehow got lost on the train,
and discovered I'd swallowed my brain
although it was tasty
my meal was quite hasty
and now I've intestinal pain.

The Shaolin shaped up to the bandits

:e2fight:

JDCrayne
01-26-2007, 09:41 AM
The Shaolin shaped up to the bandits.
Their defeat was the subject of on dits.

Meaney
01-26-2007, 10:07 AM
The Shaolin shaped up to the bandits.
Their defeat was the subject of on dits.
The victor, it's said,

K1P1
01-26-2007, 06:33 PM
The Shaolin shaped up to the bandits.
Their defeat was the subject of on dits.
The victor, it's said,
Had a hole in his head

MidnightMuse
01-26-2007, 08:18 PM
The Shaolin shaped up to the bandits.
Their defeat was the subject of on dits.
The victor, it's said,
Had a hole in his head.
But no one complained re: his grand bits.


My brain got all ditzy one day.

Pat~
01-26-2007, 08:34 PM
My brain got all ditzy one day,
And I forgot to secure my belay;

Meaney
01-27-2007, 04:43 AM
My brain got all ditzy one day,
And I forgot to secure my belay;
at the height of three feet

JDCrayne
01-27-2007, 06:42 AM
My brain got all ditzy one day,
And I forgot to secure my belay;
At the height of three feet
The waves they did beat,

poetinahat
01-27-2007, 05:03 PM
My brain got all ditzy one day,
And I forgot to secure my belay;
At the height of three feet
The waves they did beat,
and like Cassius, my feet turned to Clay.

The loneliest long-distance runner

K1P1
01-27-2007, 08:30 PM
The loneliest long-distance runner
Has feet to which I take a scunner.

Unique
01-28-2007, 01:41 AM
The loneliest long-distance runner
Has feet to which I take a scunner.
They're big and they stink

K1P1
01-28-2007, 05:10 AM
The loneliest long-distance runner
Has feet to which I take a scunner.
They're big and they stink
And his toes have a kink

JDCrayne
01-28-2007, 06:03 AM
The loneliest long-distance runner
Has feet to which I take a scunner.
They're big and they stink
And his toes have a kink
And he's known to his friends as a punner!


His friend has the shot put down pat,

Meaney
01-28-2007, 06:07 AM
His friend has the shot put down pat;
from a mile he can bullseye a gnat.

K1P1
01-28-2007, 06:23 AM
His friend has the shot put down pat;
from a mile he can bullseye a gnat.
Grinds it into his throat

Unique
01-29-2007, 03:18 AM
His friend has the shot put down pat;
from a mile he can bullseye a gnat.
Grinds it into his throat
drops him dead in the moat

K1P1
01-29-2007, 05:25 AM
His friend has the shot put down pat;
from a mile he can bullseye a gnat.
Grinds it into his throat
drops him dead in the moat
And then takes a nap on the mat.

My sister she sleeps with a yak

Unique
01-29-2007, 07:03 AM
My sister she sleeps with a yak
I don't mind but it throws out her back

K1P1
01-29-2007, 07:20 AM
My sister she sleeps with a yak
I don't mind but it throws out her back
Yak hair gets in her mouth

PattiTheWicked
01-29-2007, 07:46 AM
My sister she sleeps with a yak
I don't mind but it throws out her back
Yak hair gets in her mouth
(And other points south)

Unique
01-29-2007, 08:29 AM
My sister she sleeps with a yak
I don't mind but it throws out her back
Yak hair gets in her mouth
(And other points south)
It's tasty but not a great snack


The Left and the Right went to war

JDCrayne
01-29-2007, 09:42 AM
The Left and the Right went to war,
'Cause the Left called the Right's mom a whore.

Unique
01-29-2007, 12:16 PM
The Left and the Right went to war,
'Cause the Left called the Right's mom a whore.
Too bad it was true

K1P1
01-29-2007, 03:25 PM
The Left and the Right went to war,
'Cause the Left called the Right's mom a whore.
Too bad it was true
She's true blue through and through

PrettySpecialGal
01-29-2007, 04:43 PM
The Left and the Right went to war,
'Cause the Left called the Right's mom a whore.
Too bad it was true
She's true blue through and through
So that ended the war- it's no more!

Moms and Dads, it seems, can be funny

K1P1
01-29-2007, 04:45 PM
Moms and Dads, it seems, can be funny
They always make oatmeal that's runny

Unique
01-29-2007, 07:17 PM
Moms and Dads, it seems, can be funny
They always make oatmeal that's runny
It's gluey and ick

PattiTheWicked
01-29-2007, 07:38 PM
Moms and Dads, it seems, can be funny
They always make oatmeal that's runny
It's gluey and ick
And stirred with a stick

Kate Thornton
01-29-2007, 07:51 PM
Moms and Dads, it seems, can be funny
They always make oatmeal that's runny
It's gluey and ick
And stirred with a stick
With parts of dead puppy and bunny

A train going faster than light

K1P1
01-29-2007, 09:27 PM
A train going faster than light
Gave the stately old matron a fright.

MidnightMuse
01-29-2007, 10:35 PM
A train going faster than light
Gave the stately old matro a fright.
When a black-hole speed-bump,

K1P1
01-30-2007, 12:25 AM
A train going faster than light
Gave the stately old matro a fright.
When a black-hole speed-bump,
Her knitting did dump

JDCrayne
01-30-2007, 06:56 AM
A train going faster than light
Gave the stately old matron a fright.
When a black-hole speed-bump,
Her knitting did dump
Though a worm hole, next Friday night!


He needs a good kick in the pants!

K1P1
01-30-2007, 06:58 AM
He needs a good kick in the pants!
Then we'll see how his attitude slants.

Meaney
01-30-2007, 09:29 AM
He needs a good kick in the pants!
Then we'll see how his attitude slants.
Enough of his guff

K1P1
01-30-2007, 04:51 PM
He needs a good kick in the pants!
Then we'll see how his attitude slants.
Enough of his guff
He'll ride surf in the buff

Unique
01-30-2007, 06:51 PM
He needs a good kick in the pants!
Then we'll see how his attitude slants.
Enough of his guff
He'll ride surf in the buff
And when he drops pearls we will dance.


It was a frolicking day at the beach

PattiTheWicked
01-30-2007, 07:35 PM
It was a frolicking day at the beach
My sunblock slipped just out of reach

K1P1
01-31-2007, 02:41 AM
It was a frolicking day at the beach
My sunblock slipped just out of reach
Down into a tide pool

JDCrayne
01-31-2007, 05:49 AM
It was a frolicking day at the beach
My sunblock slipped just out of reach
Down into a tide pool;
I grabbed like a damned fool,

K1P1
01-31-2007, 06:15 AM
It was a frolicking day at the beach
My sunblock slipped just out of reach
Down into a tide pool;
I grabbed like a damned fool,
But I ended up stuck with a leech!

The Titan reclined on a cloud

PrettySpecialGal
01-31-2007, 06:34 AM
The Titan reclined on a cloud
and said, as he thought out loud,

Meaney
01-31-2007, 07:30 AM
The Titan reclined on a cloud
and said, as he thought out loud,
"What was that sound?"

JDCrayne
01-31-2007, 10:05 AM
The Titan reclined on a cloud
and said, as he thought out loud,
"What was that sound?
Was it lightning rebound?"

Pthom
01-31-2007, 12:03 PM
The Titan reclined on a cloud
and said, as he thought out loud,
"What was that sound?
Was it lightning rebound?
Such noises should not be allowed!"

The pile of beer caps on my desk

K1P1
01-31-2007, 04:07 PM
The pile of beer caps on my desk
My long-suffering wife it did vex

PrettySpecialGal
01-31-2007, 04:29 PM
The pile of beer caps on my desk
My long-suffering wife it did vex
Little did she know

Jabs
01-31-2007, 07:22 PM
The pile of beer caps on my desk
My long-suffering wife it did vex
Little did she know
That they belonged to Moe

Kate Thornton
01-31-2007, 08:08 PM
The pile of beer caps on my desk
My long-suffering wife it did vex
Little did she know
That they belonged to Moe
And we traded them all for sex

I wanted some tangible proof

JDCrayne
02-01-2007, 04:44 AM
I wanted some tangible proof
That there wasn't a leak in the roof.

K1P1
02-01-2007, 06:08 AM
I wanted some tangible proof
That there wasn't a leak in the roof.
So I got out the hose

threedogpeople
02-02-2007, 03:38 AM
I wanted some tangible proof
That there wasn't a leak in the roof.
So I got out the hose,
while freezing my nose

K1P1
02-02-2007, 04:18 AM
I wanted some tangible proof
That there wasn't a leak in the roof.
So I got out the hose,
while freezing my nose
Slipped and knocked my breath out with an oof!

George Washington couldn't defend

PattiTheWicked
02-02-2007, 04:48 AM
George Washington couldn't defend
a fort by the south river bend

JDCrayne
02-02-2007, 04:56 AM
George Washington couldn't defend
a fort by the south river bend.
The river was freezing,

Unique
02-02-2007, 06:00 AM
George Washington couldn't defend
a fort by the south river bend.
The river was freezing,
The troops they were sneezing

Pthom
02-02-2007, 10:03 AM
George Washington couldn't defend
a fort by the south river bend.
The river was freezing,
The troops they were sneezing
So off to the north they did wend.

"Now Betsy," said George, "please, a banner."

K1P1
02-03-2007, 12:49 AM
"Now Betsy," said George, "please, a banner,
Executed in the best Colonial manner."

Kate Thornton
02-03-2007, 01:09 AM
"Now Betsy," said George, "please, a banner,
Executed in the best Colonial manner."
"I can sew!" Beysy said

Pthom
02-03-2007, 03:19 AM
"Now Betsy," said George, "please, a banner,
Executed in the best Colonial manner."
"I can sew!" Betsy said.
"But I'm all out of thread!"

Kate Thornton
02-03-2007, 03:21 AM
"Now Betsy," said George, "please, a banner,
Executed in the best Colonial manner."
"I can sew!" Betsy said.
"But I'm all out of thread!"
Said George, "You're not much of a planner!"

While crossing the Delaware, George

Pthom
02-03-2007, 05:00 AM
While crossing the Delaware, George
Left the map behind at Valley Forge

Cath
02-03-2007, 06:17 AM
While crossing the Delaware, George
Left the map behind at Valley Forge
He sent a young solider

JDCrayne
02-03-2007, 06:43 AM
While crossing the Delaware, George
Left the map behind at Valley Forge
He sent a young soldier
With a hot cup of Folger,

K1P1
02-03-2007, 07:58 AM
While crossing the Delaware, George
Left the map behind at Valley Forge
He sent a young soldier
With a hot cup of Folger,
And tons of chocolate on which he gorged.

The troops were freezing their tushs off

JDCrayne
02-03-2007, 08:00 AM
The troops were freezing their tushs off
They had sneezes and sniffles and cough.

K1P1
02-03-2007, 08:25 AM
The troops were freezing their tushs off
They had sneezes and sniffles and cough.
They called for hot toddies.

Unique
02-03-2007, 05:16 PM
The troops were freezing their tushs off
They had sneezes and sniffles and cough.
They called for hot toddies.
and a raft of warm bodies

JDCrayne
02-04-2007, 09:41 AM
The troops were freezing their tushs off
They had sneezes and sniffles and cough.
They called for hot toddies.
and a raft of warm bodies
And ulsters they never would doff!


Meanwhile Revere, on his horse,

K1P1
02-04-2007, 09:47 AM
Meanwhile Revere, on his horse,
Was riding too fast, well of course!

Pthom
02-04-2007, 02:04 PM
Meanwhile Revere, on his horse,
Was riding too fast, well of course!
Hooves sliding on pebbles

Unique
02-04-2007, 07:27 PM
Meanwhile Revere, on his horse,
Was riding too fast, well of course!
Hooves sliding on pebbles
the slippery devils

K1P1
02-04-2007, 11:16 PM
Meanwhile Revere, on his horse,
Was riding too fast, well of course!
Hooves sliding on pebbles
the slippery devils
He should at least have felt some remorse.

Chocolate's so good on spaghetti

PattiTheWicked
02-05-2007, 01:05 AM
Chocolate's so good on spaghetti
Gives ya skidmarks like Mario Andretti

JDCrayne
02-05-2007, 06:46 AM
Chocolate's so good on spaghetti
Gives ya skidmarks like Mario Andretti!
Sticky and sweet,

Pthom
02-06-2007, 12:53 PM
Chocolate's so good on spaghetti
Gives ya skidmarks like Mario Andretti!
Sticky and sweet,
A meal ain't complete

JDCrayne
02-07-2007, 08:06 AM
Chocolate's so good on spaghetti
Gives ya skidmarks like Mario Andretti!
Sticky and sweet,
A meal ain't complete
Until shared with one Grable, Betty!


Ravioli is another nice treat!

Pthom
02-07-2007, 12:06 PM
Ravioli's another nice treat!
Little stuffed pillows of meat.

poetinahat
02-07-2007, 12:20 PM
Little stuffed pillows of meat.
Let's stop to ponder that beauty of a line, shall we?

...

Bliss.

poetinahat
02-07-2007, 12:22 PM
Ravioli's another nice treat!
Little stuffed pillows of meat.
Curled parmesan shavings

Pthom
02-08-2007, 01:50 AM
Thanks for the compliment, Poet. :D

Ravioli's another nice treat!
Little stuffed pillows of meat.
Curled parmesan shavings
Cannot quell my cravings

K1P1
02-08-2007, 02:19 AM
Ravioli's another nice treat!
Little stuffed pillows of meat.
Curled parmesan shavings
Cannot quell my cravings
Those tender tidbits can't be beat.

And let's not forget macaroni

MidnightMuse
02-08-2007, 02:40 AM
And let's not forget macaroni
In Italian, it means Really Phony.

K1P1
02-08-2007, 02:43 AM
And let's not forget macaroni
In Italian, it means Really Phony.
Curved teethlike tubes

PrettySpecialGal
02-08-2007, 03:50 AM
ah, faggetaboudit--

JDCrayne's is better

JDCrayne
02-08-2007, 06:58 AM
And let's not forget macaroni
In Italian, it means Really Phony.
Curved teethlike tubes
Dripping cheese on your boobs,

Unique
02-09-2007, 06:59 AM
And let's not forget macaroni
In Italian, it means Really Phony.
Curved teethlike tubes
Dripping cheese on your boobs,
I'd rather have ham or boloney.


The girls went out drinking last night

JDCrayne
02-09-2007, 07:02 AM
The girls went out drinking last night.
Four out of the five came home tight.

Pthom
02-09-2007, 10:16 AM
The girls went out drinking last night.
Four out of the five came home tight.
The other one, she

PrettySpecialGal
02-09-2007, 04:24 PM
The girls went out drinking last night.
Four out of the five came home tight.
The other one, she
fell down on her knee

Jabs
02-09-2007, 11:17 PM
The girls went out drinking last night.
Four out of the five came home tight.
The other one, she
fell down on her knee
And hooked her husband up right.

MidnightMuse
02-10-2007, 12:35 AM
And since Jabs forgot to start the next one:

I seem to have misplaced my Llama.

Jabs
02-10-2007, 01:22 AM
Dammit!

I seem to have misplaced my Llama.
On the way to speak with Obama

JDCrayne
02-10-2007, 05:24 AM
I seem to have misplaced my Llama.
On the way to speak with Obama.
His halter and leash,

JDCrayne
02-11-2007, 08:02 AM
I seem to have misplaced my Llama.
On the way to speak with Obama.
His halter and leash,
Somewhat nouveau riche,


[[sorry about that, but at least I didn't use porringer... ]]

Unique
02-11-2007, 08:28 AM
I seem to have misplaced my Llama.
On the way to speak with Obama.
His halter and leash,
Somewhat nouveau riche,
instigated quite the high drama.

They asked him, 'Jose, can you see?'

Pthom
02-11-2007, 01:40 PM
They asked him, "Jose, can you see?"
He said, "Not while I'm up in this tree!"

K1P1
02-11-2007, 04:10 PM
They asked him, "Jose, can you see?"
He said, "Not while I'm up in this tree!"
The leaves are too thick

Unique
02-11-2007, 04:20 PM
They asked him, "Jose, can you see?"
He said, "Not while I'm up in this tree!"
The leaves are too thick
So hand me a stick

K1P1
02-11-2007, 05:32 PM
They asked him, "Jose, can you see?"
He said, "Not while I'm up in this tree!"
The leaves are too thick
So hand me a stick
He swung it and yelled out, "AAIIIEEEEEE!"

Out in the great state of Hawaii

JDCrayne
02-12-2007, 04:33 AM
Out in the great state of Hawaii,
There's pineapple, mango, papayii!

K1P1
02-12-2007, 05:55 AM
Out in the great state of Hawaii,
There's pineapple, mango, papayii!
The bananas are firm

Deadbeat 007
02-12-2007, 07:04 AM
Out in the great state of Hawaii,
There's pineapple, mango, papayii!
The bananas are firm,
They're covered in worms,

Pthom
02-13-2007, 02:54 AM
Out in the great state of Hawaii,
There's pineapple, mango, papayii!
The bananas are firm,
They're covered in worms,
Which make them look lots like a cowrie.

When writing a poem don't be anxious

JDCrayne
02-14-2007, 06:10 AM
When writing a poem don't be anxious!
Be bright and sharp and vivacious!

Pthom
02-14-2007, 11:00 PM
When writing a poem don't be anxious!
Be bright and sharp and vivacious!
For a wayward iamb

JDCrayne
02-15-2007, 07:32 AM
When writing a poem don't be anxious!
Be bright and sharp and vivacious!
For a wayward iamb,
Can still be a ham,

Solatium
02-15-2007, 09:54 AM
When writing a poem don't be anxious!
Be bright and sharp and vivacious!
For a wayward iamb,
Can still be a ham,
And a ham can be downright bodacious.

---

One thousand five hundred words

K1P1
02-15-2007, 03:27 PM
One thousand five hundred words
Fly in and out of my mind like wild birds.

Unique
02-15-2007, 03:28 PM
One thousand five hundred words
Fly in and out of my mind like wild birds.
They peck and they scratch

K1P1
02-15-2007, 03:45 PM
One thousand five hundred words
Fly in and out of my mind like wild birds.
They peck and they scratch
'Til I find ones that match

Rich
02-15-2007, 03:53 PM
One thousand five hundred words
Fly in and out of my mind like wild birds.
They peck and they scratch
'Til I find ones that match
In the hope that they're jewels and not turds.

Rich
02-15-2007, 03:55 PM
Global warming: a myth or a fact?

K1P1
02-15-2007, 10:16 PM
Global warming: a myth or a fact?
True believers have signed a compact

PattiTheWicked
02-16-2007, 12:27 AM
Global warming: a myth or a fact?
True believers have signed a compact
If you ask Albert Gore

K1P1
02-16-2007, 02:37 AM
Global warming: a myth or a fact?
True believers have signed a compact
If you ask Albert Gore
He'll talk 'til you snore

JDCrayne
02-16-2007, 07:12 AM
Global warming: a myth or a fact?
True believers have signed a compact
If you ask Albert Gore
He'll talk 'til you snore
But he'll never, no never, retract.

Around the corner comes Spring

PattiTheWicked
02-16-2007, 06:07 PM
Around the corner comes Spring
and a flutter of butterfly wings

JDCrayne
02-17-2007, 04:37 AM
Around the corner comes Spring
and a flutter of butterfly wings.
The bees are a-buzzing,

Unique
02-17-2007, 09:12 AM
Around the corner comes Spring
and a flutter of butterfly wings.
The bees are a-buzzing,
the cats are de-fuzzing

Pthom
02-17-2007, 10:59 AM
Around the corner comes Spring
and a flutter of butterfly wings.
The bees are a-buzzing,
the cats are de-fuzzing
It's time for a big Macy's fling!

When Jill lost her alergy meds

JDCrayne
02-18-2007, 04:08 AM
When Jill lost her allergy meds,
A neighboring man called the Feds.

K1P1
02-18-2007, 06:14 AM
When Jill lost her allergy meds,
A neighboring man called the Feds.
They came with a warrant

JDCrayne
02-18-2007, 06:20 AM
When Jill lost her allergy meds,
A neighboring man called the Feds.
They came with a warrant
For drugs most abhorrant

Zonk
02-18-2007, 06:25 AM
When Jill lost her allergy meds,
A neighboring man called the Feds.
They came with a warrant
For drugs most abhorrant
And found crack, ice, weed and reds...

Liz Bennett thought Darcy had Pride


:D:D:D

K1P1
02-18-2007, 06:40 AM
Liz Bennett thought Darcy had Pride
It made annoyed and quite snide.

JDCrayne
02-18-2007, 06:42 AM
Liz Bennett thought Darcy had Pride
It made annoyed and quite snide.
But his housekeeper said,

K1P1
02-18-2007, 06:43 AM
Liz Bennett thought Darcy had Pride
It made her annoyed and quite snide.
But his housekeeper said,
He's the most well bred

Unique
02-18-2007, 06:44 AM
Liz Bennett thought Darcy had Pride
It made annoyed and quite snide.
But his housekeeper said,
He's the most well bred
He does all his business outside.

This war has gone over the top

JDCrayne
02-18-2007, 09:22 AM
This war has gone over the top,
And the budget has turned into slop!

Unique
02-19-2007, 03:55 AM
This war has gone over the top,
And the budget has turned into slop!
They've run off with the cash

PrettySpecialGal
02-19-2007, 02:57 PM
This war has gone over the top,
And the budget has turned into slop!
They've run off with the cash
And then threw a wild bash

JDCrayne
02-20-2007, 05:45 AM
This war has gone over the top,
And the budget has turned into slop!
They've run off with the cash
And then threw a wild bash
Even scandal won't make them stop.

There's a storm looming on the horizon

The Scip
02-20-2007, 05:52 AM
There's a storm looming on the horizon
and it's caused me to switch to verizon

K1P1
02-20-2007, 08:29 AM
There's a storm looming on the horizon
and it's caused me to switch to verizon
My DSL's hell

Pthom
02-21-2007, 01:18 PM
There's a storm looming on the horizon
and it's caused me to switch to verizon
My DSL's hell
Oh, where is Ma Bell?

K1P1
02-22-2007, 06:56 AM
There's a storm looming on the horizon
and it's caused me to switch to verizon
My DSL's hell
Oh, where is Ma Bell?
She's gone the way of the bison.

There's truly no fiber like silk

Cath
02-22-2007, 06:57 AM
There's truely no fiber like silk
for sexy undies and that ilk

K1P1
02-22-2007, 07:13 AM
There's truly no fiber like silk
for sexy undies and that ilk
Though it comes out of worms

JDCrayne
02-22-2007, 07:48 AM
There's truly no fiber like silk
for sexy undies and that ilk
Though it comes out of worms
It's lacking in germs,

JDCrayne
02-23-2007, 05:38 AM
There's truly no fiber like silk
for sexy undies and that ilk
Though it comes out of worms
It's lacking in germs,
And great for straining raw milk!


The snow comes down in great flakes,

Unique
02-24-2007, 05:18 PM
The snow comes down in great flakes,
who handed out these dumb rakes?

JDCrayne
02-25-2007, 04:08 AM
The snow comes down in great flakes,
who handed out these dumb rakes?
When next summer comes,

K1P1
02-25-2007, 07:56 AM
The snow comes down in great flakes,
who handed out these dumb rakes?
When next summer comes,
We'll eat hot cross buns

Unique
02-25-2007, 10:04 AM
The snow comes down in great flakes,
who handed out these dumb rakes?
When next summer comes,
We'll eat hot cross buns
And hold onto the rakes for the snakes.


When sliding on ice slick like glass

JDCrayne
02-25-2007, 10:55 AM
When sliding on ice slick like glass,
One wishes for summertime grass.

Unique
02-26-2007, 07:46 AM
When sliding on ice slick like glass,
One wishes for summertime grass.
It's soft and it's green

Solatium
02-27-2007, 08:59 AM
When sliding on ice slick like glass,
One wishes for summertime grass.
It's soft and it's green;
It's warm and it's clean

JDCrayne
02-27-2007, 09:23 AM
When sliding on ice slick like glass,
One wishes for summertime grass.
It's soft and it's green;
It's warm and it's clean,
Except where the dog put his... posterior.


Hurrah for the night time migration!

PattiTheWicked
02-27-2007, 06:21 PM
Hurrah for the night time migration!
It's always a big celebration.

Unique
02-27-2007, 06:29 PM
Hurrah for the night time migration!
It's always a big celebration.
there's food and there's beer

Pthom
02-28-2007, 06:14 AM
Hurrah for the night time migration!
It's always a big celebration.
There's food and there's beer
And I'm sure glad you're here.

__________________

JDCrayne
03-01-2007, 09:26 AM
Hurrah for the night time migration!
It's always a big celebration.
There's food and there's beer
And I'm sure glad you're here.
We needed someone for castration.



Alas for the lot of mankind!

Solatium
03-01-2007, 10:52 AM
Alas for the lot of mankind!
We have neither mercy nor mind

Unique
03-01-2007, 05:09 PM
Alas for the lot of mankind!
We have neither mercy nor mind
We believed a big lie

Pthom
03-01-2007, 11:50 PM
Alas for the lot of mankind!
We have neither mercy nor mind
We believed a big lie
(There's no plum in the pie)

Unique
03-02-2007, 07:01 AM
Alas for the lot of mankind!
We have neither mercy nor mind
We believed a big lie
(There's no plum in the pie)
We're also a little behind.


The shark lost control of the deck

Cath
03-02-2007, 07:01 AM
The shark lost control of the deck
And all he could say was "oh heck"

Solatium
03-02-2007, 09:02 AM
The shark lost control of the deck,
And all he could say was "Oh, heck."
He hadn't allowed

K1P1
03-02-2007, 11:28 PM
The shark lost control of the deck,
And all he could say was "Oh, heck."
He hadn't allowed
For the size of the crowd

JDCrayne
03-03-2007, 02:21 AM
The shark lost control of the deck,
And all he could say was "Oh, heck."
He hadn't allowed
For the size of the crowd,
Or having to pay the large check!


After the crowd went away,

Pthom
03-03-2007, 03:37 AM
After the crowd went away,
The shark said, "Cool, now I can play!"

Cath
03-03-2007, 03:58 AM
After the crowd went away,
The shark said, "Cool, now I can play!"
Said his ma, "not unless

Pthom
03-03-2007, 03:59 AM
After the crowd went away,
The shark said, "Cool, now I can play!"
Said his ma, "not unless
You take off that dress!"

Solatium
03-03-2007, 07:05 AM
After the crowd went away,
The shark said, "Cool, now I can play!"
Said his ma, "not unless
You take off that dress!
I'm doing the laundry today."

"But what shall I wear while you wash?

Cath
03-03-2007, 07:13 AM
But what shall I wear while you wash
Said the shark, in his accent so posh

JDCrayne
03-03-2007, 09:12 AM
"But what shall I wear while you wash?"
Said the shark, in his accent so posh.
"I haven't a thread,

Cath
03-04-2007, 03:13 AM
"But what shall I wear while you wash?"
Said the shark, in his accent so posh.
"I haven't a thread,
of hair left on my head

Pthom
03-04-2007, 04:17 AM
"But what shall I wear while you wash?"
Said the shark, in his accent so posh.
"I haven't a thread,
Of hair left on my head
And I haven't Godiva's panache."

"I guess you'll just have to stay in

K1P1
03-04-2007, 05:16 AM
"I guess you'll just have to stay in
Wishing for a gift of the djinn

JDCrayne
03-04-2007, 06:06 AM
"I guess you'll just have to stay in
Wishing for a gift of the djinn,
'Cause nudity's banned,

Solatium
03-04-2007, 09:55 AM
"I guess you'll just have to stay in
Wishing for a gift of the djinn,
'Cause nudity's banned
In this cold northern land

Cath
03-04-2007, 05:08 PM
"I guess you'll just have to stay in
Wishing for a gift of the djinn,
'Cause nudity's banned
In this cold northern land
And you threw all your clothes in the bin


There is a young lass called Sarina

Pthom
03-05-2007, 04:13 AM
There is a young lass called Sarina changed because the kid just got here
Who can't yet eat her farina

PattiTheWicked
03-05-2007, 04:42 AM
There is a young lass called Sarina
Who can't yet eat her farina
She's cuddly and cute

K1P1
03-05-2007, 06:47 AM
There is a young lass called Sarina
Who can't yet eat her farina
She's cuddly and cute
And her parents astute

threedogpeople
03-06-2007, 03:39 PM
There is a young lass called Sarina
Who can't yet eat her farina
She's cuddly and cute
And her parents astute
so they're saving a box of pastina.

The trees here are starting to bud

Cath
03-06-2007, 05:03 PM
The trees here are starting to bud
But the rain's coming down in a flood

Unique
03-07-2007, 05:04 PM
The trees here are starting to bud
But the rain's coming down in a flood
There's mud everywhere

Cath
03-07-2007, 05:09 PM
The trees here are starting to bud
But the rain's coming down in a flood
There's mud everywhere
(it's even in my hair)

Pthom
03-10-2007, 12:51 AM
The trees here are starting to bud
But the rain's coming down in a flood
There's mud everywhere
(it's even in my hair)
I think P. Phil's prediction's a dud!

But it's snowing today (not again!)

MajorDrums
03-10-2007, 12:56 AM
But it's snowing today (not again!)
I'll stay indoors with my Barbie and Ken.

Unique
03-10-2007, 12:58 AM
But it's snowing today (not again!)
I'll stay indoors with my Barbie and Ken.
But they're naked and blue

The Scip
03-10-2007, 01:03 AM
But it's snowing today (not again!)
I'll stay indoors with my Barbie and Ken.
But they're naked and blue
and ken's missing a shoe

Unique
03-10-2007, 05:40 PM
But it's snowing today (not again!)
I'll stay indoors with my Barbie and Ken.
But they're naked and blue
and ken's missing a shoe
And Barbie ran off with the yen.

The kids went to play in the park

The Scip
03-10-2007, 11:29 PM
The kids went to play in the park
But it's getting very near dark

Pthom
03-13-2007, 07:51 AM
The kids went to play in the park
But it's getting very near dark
And the ol' Boogey man

Cath
03-13-2007, 04:59 PM
The kids went to play in the park
But it's getting very near dark
And the ol' Boogey man
Well he's formin' a plan

threedogpeople
03-15-2007, 04:43 AM
The kids went to play in the park
But it's getting very near dark
And the ol' Boogey man
Well he's formin' a plan
'til the neighborhood dog starts to bark.

The sun's shined two days in a row!

Cath
03-15-2007, 06:20 AM
The sun's shined two days in a row!
And my skin, now, it's starting to glow

Unique
03-15-2007, 06:27 AM
The sun's shined two days in a row!
And my skin, now, it's starting to glow
But I also have spots

threedogpeople
03-15-2007, 11:13 AM
The sun's shined two days in a row!
And my skin, now, it's starting to glow
But I also have spots
and some odd orange knots

Pthom
03-15-2007, 01:09 PM
The sun's shined two days in a row!
And my skin, now, it's starting to glow
But I also have spots
and some odd orange knots
and I've misplaced my jar of aloe!

So by Sunday I'll peel and I'll flake.

Solatium
03-15-2007, 05:42 PM
So by Sunday I'll peel and I'll flake --
But more than my beauty's at stake

JDCrayne
03-20-2007, 08:06 AM
So by Sunday I'll peel and I'll flake --
But more than my beauty's at stake.
The itch of my skin,

Unique
03-21-2007, 05:38 AM
So by Sunday I'll peel and I'll flake --
But more than my beauty's at stake.
The itch of my skin
on the back of my fin

Solatium
03-21-2007, 07:39 AM
So by Sunday I'll peel and I'll flake --
But more than my beauty's at stake.
The itch of my skin
on the back of my fin
Makes me an unhappyish hake.

---

My nerves are not steel; my spine