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triceretops

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Novel idea.

Title: Jory. (Urban fantasy)

Jory is a 31-year-old female on death row, falsely accused (framed) of murdering her husband. All of her appeals have run out in the past eight years. Her husband’s brother, Toby, is responsible for this murder, since he knows, with both of them out of the way, he’s the sole beneficiary of an industrial empire fortune. (He knows the contents of his brother’s will). When Jory’s execution date arrives, she prepares herself for death, still vehemently professing her innocence. At the 11th hour a strange, long-haired male visits her cell in the guise of a priest. The prison staff has no idea how this priest got into the facility, nor was he found on the guest list. It is laughingly assumed that “he walked through a wall.” In reality, this man is Janus, the God of doorways, gates, and new beginnings, and he is indeed capable of using cosmic portals. Janus comforts Jory and explains that he knows she is innocent and that he intends to gift her with a second chance—a new beginning. He places his hand over her abdomen and then leaves. Jory believes this priest is full of double-speak and hooey and that the visit was a cruel joke. She cries herself to sleep that night.
The next day Jory is lead to the execution chamber. She is strapped in. The doctor checks her heartbeat, as routine before the needles are inserted, and is shocked to discover two heartbeats. Upon further examination, Jory is found to be three-months pregnant, and no one knows how this has happened, although they suspect the guards.
The execution is postponed until the child is delivered (six months later) upon the prison grounds and given up for adoption. Ironically the brother-in-law, Toby, is first on the list for the adoption privilege (Jory’s parents are dead) and does in fact adopt Jory’s orphan baby girl.
Since it was rescheduled, Jory’s execution takes place. She is buried and soon forgotten.

FLASH FORWARD 21-YEARS: The baby, who was adopted by Toby and christened with the name, Jory, (in false sympathy to his supposed innocent sister-law), grows up to be a vibrant young woman, but a woman who has disturbing flashbacks, nightmares and images of a previous life and her own death. Alas, this new Jory is the original Jory, in that she has actually given birth to herself. But she doesn’t know this yet.
Jory has a regular job, but a part-time fixation with magic, and soon finds a position with a handsome, but hapless magician. She does well with this hobby, but unexpectedly “phases out” for real one night during a disappearing act, which shocks the stage hand and the magician, yet not the audience. So they keep it as their little secret and continue with the performances. In the months that follow Jory begins to unravel, since she has a few more “phase-outs” with very embarrassing results in public places. The boyfriend is intrigued but totally mystified by this strange main squeeze.
The mysterious priest, Janus, arrives at her doorstep one day, and she reluctantly lets him in. She does not recognize him from her past life. He explains to her (via Ghost of Christmas Past type episodes) that her unique ability and strange flashbacks are no coincidence, and that she has a mission to accomplish. It is then revealed to her that her present stepfather is the real murderer of her (past life) husband, and that she was also framed by him, leading to her execution. Janus admits that he impregnated her with herself, and part of his essence, hence her strange feelings and powers. It is now her duty to bring Toby to justice, using her magical skills and divine power, to frame this real murderer, so that he reaps the whirlwind that he so deserves.
The rest of the story involves Jory’s revenge plot, and the well-laid plans that she develops to put Toby on death row. In the end she does so, and very cleverly. Justice is served. Case closed Cut to--happily ever after with boyfriend, who together, become one of the most renowned magical acts in Las Vegas.

I hope this story is enough departure from the reincarnation plot, wherein the MC gives birth to herself. But I want to know if this sounds like a fresh idea, or is it too similar to something else already out there? Any other ideas to make the concept more intriguing would be appreciated. Sorry this is not in typical synopsis format. Any comments are appreciated. I believe a “mystery” structure is the best way to layer this story so not too much is revealed to the reader until it ties in near the end?

Tri
 

Birol

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That's a good question right now.
I think this sounds intriguing, Tri. I could pick out a couple of analytical questions, but nothing that should stop you from moving forward with this.
 

triceretops

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Thanks, Lori. Yeah, there are some holes in there. Haven't even worked it out yet. A doctor would not neccessarily check a death row imate's heart BEFORE an execution, but I could have her kick up a nasty fuss and passout in the chamber, thus prompting the doc to check her out.

I also thought about this Fabio-like God actually putting her in a trance and physically making love to her, thus imparting a REAL seed, which would carry his genes. Thus she becomes a demi-god, not having quite all the powers of Janus, but only snips and pieces of it. I don't like the miraculous conception thing in this, if you get me.

Hmmm...she would have to be charged with a 1rst class felony capital murder rap to get a death sentence. This is difficult, because it is so uncommon for women to be sentenced to death. Also, the appeals time is a bit short.

The second Jory could be much younger in this, although she'll need adult status to hunt this bastid down, that's why I made her 21.

According to Roman Mythology, Janus' special days are the first of every month and year, so it would be fitting that he only appear to her on these dates.

A few other things I have to hammer out.

Tri
 
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Birol

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That's a good question right now.
Even if they put a heart monitor on, a fetal heartbeat would be located in a different portion of the body than the mother's heartbeat.

My main nit is how can you be pregnant with your reincarnated self while you're still alive? Even if you set it up so that the fetus does not acquire a soul until the moment of birth, since the baby is born and then the mother is executed, presumably days later, that would lead to a double-existence, if only for a very short time.

There are ways around that, of course.

ETA: They would put a heart monitor on, Tri. It's one of the ways they tell when the execution has been successful, but there is still the problem of location of the adult heartbeat vs. the fetal heartbeat.
 
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triceretops

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Ah, good points. Maybe she is more like four months and slightly showing. She has a fit of morning sickness and complains of gastrointestinal probems. Of course the whole idea is to get doc to get his stethoscope down there then.

Yeah, one soul, two bodies, even for a short time. Problem. Unless I have Janus contribute, by nicking off a piece of HIS soul, even if it is for temporary purposes. He'd have to explain that beforehand via some magical mumbo jumbo. That one is tougher. On goes my thinking cap.

Thanks for looking deep.

Tri
 

aadams73

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Yowza! This sounds fabulous! I can't wait to pick this up off the shelf and buy it :)
 

gromhard

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Sounds good, I'll read it when it comes out. They DO monitor death row inmates right before killing them, they ascertain that they are in perfect health before they ice them. They even go so far as to alcohol swab a convict's arm before administering lethal injection. This is tenuous at best but I had a friend who was a correction's officer and I asked why and he said that they didn't want to be sued. If the execution was canceled and the convict had a staff infection, or if something else comes up, dead inmates still have families and can sue. So it's the law that an autopsy is performed on ANYONE who died in state/fed custody, including the executed. So it's no sort of stretch to have her monitored while awaiting execution.

-G
 

Birol

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That's a good question right now.
They do use the alcohol to prevent infection, just in case, but it also helps make the veins pop out so they're easier to find.
 

MMWyrm

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The first thing that popped into my head about the double-soul-existance problem after the baby is born and before Jory (which I always knew as a male name) is executed was this: the baby is in a coma or some such after birth and is only 'animated' by the sould at the moment Jory dies.

Intriguing idea to me!
 

triceretops

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I_Shrugged--that's correct. The fact that she dies is an unfortunate circustance, but it is still brought about by Toby for his own gain. Yep, the name Toby is gonna get a name change. Garth, or Matt or something that might denote a more sinister conotation. Toby is too cuddly.

MMwrym--Now that is a totally logical idea. The baby is comatose and in intensive care up until the momment Jory dies, which allows a true soul transference. Wonderful--adds more conflict and darkness to the story.

I used the name Jory, which is short for Jorlene--a combination between my father's name George and mom's name Illeen. Jory will not be the title of the book though. It sounds too literary. I'll think of something more typical of a fantasy book. And I had no idea that Jory was a guy's name. Thanks for the head's up.

Tri
 

RG570

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triceretops said:
Yeah, one soul, two bodies, even for a short time. Problem. Unless I have Janus contribute, by nicking off a piece of HIS soul, even if it is for temporary purposes. He'd have to explain that beforehand via some magical mumbo jumbo. That one is tougher. On goes my thinking cap.

Thanks for looking deep.
Tri

Not necessarily. If you're going to get all new-agey with reincarnation, it's not at all a problem to explain what you have going on there. If everyone is multi-dimensional and infinite, there should be no problems with a simultaneous incarnation. Some would even claim this has happened to them. When I read your idea, that non-inconsistency never even crossed my mind.
 

Uncarved

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I would definitely buy and read this book.

Of note: I too thought the Jory/Toby thing was too close. I see you are renaming him, so it won't be a problem.

Great original idea. I can't wait to see it. In fact I know an agent that I bet would just eat this idea up.

WTG Tri!
 

SeanDSchaffer

Cool sounding story idea. I imagine I'd be interested in reading it.

Right on, Tri!


:Sun:
 

blacbird

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Not intended to coin a pun, but everything hinges on the execution.

Of the story, that is. Story ideas are worth about a nickel apiece until the story is written.

caw.
 

WriterInChains

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This sounds cool, can't wait to read it! :)

About the dual-existance thing -- I don't see it as an issue at all. Janus is always pictured as having two heads anyway, one facing forward and one back, so if she gets pregnant due to his power that wouldn't be stretching things for a fantasy novel. Not a bit, IMO.

BTW, when's Planet Janitor coming out? :)
 

Birol

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That's a good question right now.
blacbird said:
Not intended to coin a pun, but everything hinges on the execution.

Of the story, that is. Story ideas are worth about a nickel apiece until the story is written.

caw.

Tri's experienced enough to know this, or else he wouldn't have even posted the idea here as he did. He's also good enough to pull it off.
 

veinglory

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The idea is interesting -- needs some plausibility work IMHO. A mother, even on death row, would have input into who adopted the child.
 

Old Hack

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My problem is that I don't think one can hear a fetal heartbeat at 12 weeks. You can see the heart beating in scans from as early as 5 weeks (I know, I saw my first son's heart beating when he was only that old!) but I don't think it would be strong enough to be audible with only a stethoscope. You would probably have to wait until 18-20 weeks. But do check that as I'm often wrong.
 

Selcaby

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A possible solution to her soul being in two places at once - Maybe her soul moves from her into the baby at some point during her pregnancy, or at the time of birth. That could explain why the baby gets adopted by the murderer, because without a soul (maybe acting like a zombie?) she might be incapable of expressing an opinion. Or would they not execute someone in that condition?

Alternatively: Could her soul travel back in time?
 

rwam

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Hey Tri,
Good imagination.....why don't you have Jory while giving birth? I guess this could dilute the need for revenge since she isn't officially executed, but if it was due to neglect by the prison system during delivery, I suppose there's vengeance there.
Rob
 

veinglory

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Although dramatic you don't need the doctor to dicover the pregancy if you leave the time scale so she can miss a period.
 

Soccer Mom

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FYI- in order for it to be a capital crime (in most states), the murder would have to be 1) in the comission of another felony (rape, robbery, etc), 2) multiple killings in a single incident 3) killing a police officer or judge in the line of duty 4) a victim under the age of 4 yo

In most states, a single murder of an adult won't get you there. Research your own state on this and adjust your murder accordingly. :)
 

icerose

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You could also have her further along in her pregnancy that when they are strapping her down, one of the guards feels the baby move, that would prompt the check.

I love the baby coma idea btw.

Oh and the only thing I have seen close to this was a movie where the guy is murdered and he is reborn, but isn't given the shot that takes his previous life's memories from him. So he grows up, falls in love with his daughter from the other life and is caught in the struggle between his old love for his wife and his new love for his daughter. He solves the case, hooks his wife up with a new guy, and loses his old memories and marries his daughter. Sick when you look at it that way, but in the story it was touching.
 
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merper

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Oh and the only thing I have seen close to this was a movie where the guy is murdered and he is reborn, but isn't given the shot that takes his previous life's memories from him. So he grows up, falls in love with his daughter from the other life and is caught in the struggle between his old love for his wife and his new love for his daughter. He solves the case, hooks his wife up with a new guy, and loses his old memories and marries his daughter. Sick when you look at it that way, but in the story it was touching.

Check out Old Boy.
 
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