would someone mind fixing this for grammer errors? ive looked and cant see any, my brother has looked said its fine, and i thought id post it here, i cant see any but maybe im stupid
Bakes,
I'm assuming most of the spelling errors are due to the formatting screwing up when you pasted it.
As for grammar errors, you've got more than a few.
But . . . I'm sure the folks here will be glad to help you out.
ac
I'm assuming most of the spelling errors are due to the formatting screwing up when you pasted it.
As for grammar errors, you've got more than a few.
But . . . I'm sure the folks here will be glad to help you out.
ac
thanks, i really appricate it, im not too good at english, so i decided to join some forums, and improve.
I have to confess, I'm not entirely sure I follow it, grammar mistakes notwithstanding. It reads somewhat like a poem rather than a piece of prose. However, if you want prose, I have rewritten it, adding punctuation etc where I felt it would aid understanding. It may not be what you wanted at all!
By the way, parts of it don't really make sense - look at your opening paragraph again when you talk about 'a week before summer' - do you mean before the summer holidays begin?
Final question - is this a children's story?
Blasted Ankle
The week before summer 2006, the left ankle of mine encountered an accident. The rather painful week that followed was an indication that there was likely to be more pain throughout the summer. However, my ankle wasn’t the only thing that went bad that week.
School ended, and I travelled back home to Australia, where it was winter. The change in weather was amazing - from 30 degree days, down to 3 degree days. My ankle was really aggravating me as it squealed for help. After weeks of being in bed and some bracing exercise, it finally healed, but when I walked on it, I exclaimed with pain. “Ouch!” My ankle sprain wasn’t the only thing that had happened in that accident. "Well now," I was thinking, "it explains the cracking sound." I realised that I had snapped a few tendons in my left foot.
So for the rest of the summer, I was actually very limited. I spent most of the summer reading, with my foot in a bucket of ice, or using the computer, learning and expanding knowledge. On a Wednesday afternoon I'd go for a run up the hill; not much fun but it kept me fit!
Quite a boring summer, if you ask me, but at least I got to go and visit my hometown and catch up with a few of my old mates
By the way, parts of it don't really make sense - look at your opening paragraph again when you talk about 'a week before summer' - do you mean before the summer holidays begin?
Final question - is this a children's story?
Blasted Ankle
The week before summer 2006, the left ankle of mine encountered an accident. The rather painful week that followed was an indication that there was likely to be more pain throughout the summer. However, my ankle wasn’t the only thing that went bad that week.
School ended, and I travelled back home to Australia, where it was winter. The change in weather was amazing - from 30 degree days, down to 3 degree days. My ankle was really aggravating me as it squealed for help. After weeks of being in bed and some bracing exercise, it finally healed, but when I walked on it, I exclaimed with pain. “Ouch!” My ankle sprain wasn’t the only thing that had happened in that accident. "Well now," I was thinking, "it explains the cracking sound." I realised that I had snapped a few tendons in my left foot.
So for the rest of the summer, I was actually very limited. I spent most of the summer reading, with my foot in a bucket of ice, or using the computer, learning and expanding knowledge. On a Wednesday afternoon I'd go for a run up the hill; not much fun but it kept me fit!
Quite a boring summer, if you ask me, but at least I got to go and visit my hometown and catch up with a few of my old mates
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Hi Bakes,
I'm guessing you're not a native speaker of English? I can help you fix the grammar, but it's still going to read awkwardly unless you reword a lot of it.
The week before summer 2006, the left ankle of mine,[delete] encountered a rather painful week, that was[delete] continued onwards,[delete] through the summer. With the extreme pain and agony, it seemed to me,[delete] my ankle wasn’t the only thing that went bad that week.
As[delete] School ended, and I travelled back home to Australia, where it was winter. The change in weather was amazing, from 30-degree days,[delete] down to 3-degree days. My ankle was really pressuring me, as it squealed for help. After weeks of being in bed and exercising with it braced, it finally healed, but wait a minute? When I walked on it, “Ouch!” I noticed something was wrong, and looked at my feet, I had[delete] realising my ankle sprain wasn’t the only thing that happened in the slide I Had done,[delete] that caused it all. Well, now I was thinking, that explains the cracking sound. I had[delete] realised that I had snapped a few tendons,[delete] in my left foot. So for the rest of the summer, I was actually very limited.
I spent most of the summer,[delete] reading with my foot in a bucket of ice, and/or using the computer, learning and expanding my knowledge. On Wednesday afternoons I'd go for a run up the hill braced [understandable, but not the way someone would usually say it--try with a brace on instead]; not much fun but it kept me fit. Quite a boring summer, if you ask me, but at least I got to go and visit my hometown and catch up with a few of my old mates.
As far as rewording it goes, I suggest you start by describing the slide that injured the character's ankle--we don't know how the injury occurred until much later. Also, "The week before summer 2006" is understandable--sort of--but awkward. Before summer vacation? The week before summer vacation, I sprained my ankle badly in a slide down a hill [or sliding into third base, or whatever the situation was].
Good luck with it--if you post a cleaned-up version, you might get some more help with structuring it better.
I'm guessing you're not a native speaker of English? I can help you fix the grammar, but it's still going to read awkwardly unless you reword a lot of it.
The week before summer 2006, the left ankle of mine,[delete] encountered a rather painful week, that was[delete] continued onwards,[delete] through the summer. With the extreme pain and agony, it seemed to me,[delete] my ankle wasn’t the only thing that went bad that week.
As[delete] School ended, and I travelled back home to Australia, where it was winter. The change in weather was amazing, from 30-degree days,[delete] down to 3-degree days. My ankle was really pressuring me, as it squealed for help. After weeks of being in bed and exercising with it braced, it finally healed, but wait a minute? When I walked on it, “Ouch!” I noticed something was wrong, and looked at my feet, I had[delete] realising my ankle sprain wasn’t the only thing that happened in the slide I Had done,[delete] that caused it all. Well, now I was thinking, that explains the cracking sound. I had[delete] realised that I had snapped a few tendons,[delete] in my left foot. So for the rest of the summer, I was actually very limited.
I spent most of the summer,[delete] reading with my foot in a bucket of ice, and/or using the computer, learning and expanding my knowledge. On Wednesday afternoons I'd go for a run up the hill braced [understandable, but not the way someone would usually say it--try with a brace on instead]; not much fun but it kept me fit. Quite a boring summer, if you ask me, but at least I got to go and visit my hometown and catch up with a few of my old mates.
As far as rewording it goes, I suggest you start by describing the slide that injured the character's ankle--we don't know how the injury occurred until much later. Also, "The week before summer 2006" is understandable--sort of--but awkward. Before summer vacation? The week before summer vacation, I sprained my ankle badly in a slide down a hill [or sliding into third base, or whatever the situation was].
Good luck with it--if you post a cleaned-up version, you might get some more help with structuring it better.
thanks
Thanks, im danish, moved to australia, having trouble with english, and its a narritive and yes i mean the summer holidays
personal narritive it is, teacher told to write one, and im troubled im sorry
Thanks, im danish, moved to australia, having trouble with english, and its a narritive and yes i mean the summer holidays
personal narritive it is, teacher told to write one, and im troubled im sorry
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is this any better, the teacher said something about pear edeting tomorrow, i wonder what that is.
Peer editing is where the other people in your class are encouraged to give you feedback, and you are able to give feedback on their work too.
I think it can be pared down significantly:
The week before my summer holidays in 2006 was a painful one for my left ankle.
The pain continued throughout the summer, but that was only the start of my problems.
After shool ended I travelled to Australia, where it was winter and a lot colder than back home. My ankle was really getting me down, but after a few weeks of bed-rest and light exercises I was ready to go again.
However just as I planted my left foot down for the first time and put my weight on it, I heard an awful snapping noise. The doctors told me I had strained some tendons in my foot. So there was my summer ruined.
I spent the rest of it with my foot in ice staring at a computer screen or learning from a book. After a while I was allowed to go for light afternoon runs - with a brace of course.
All in all it was quite a boring summer, but at least I got to visit home and catch up with a few old friends.
Still far from wonderful but down to 179 words from 251.
The week before my summer holidays in 2006 was a painful one for my left ankle.
The pain continued throughout the summer, but that was only the start of my problems.
After shool ended I travelled to Australia, where it was winter and a lot colder than back home. My ankle was really getting me down, but after a few weeks of bed-rest and light exercises I was ready to go again.
However just as I planted my left foot down for the first time and put my weight on it, I heard an awful snapping noise. The doctors told me I had strained some tendons in my foot. So there was my summer ruined.
I spent the rest of it with my foot in ice staring at a computer screen or learning from a book. After a while I was allowed to go for light afternoon runs - with a brace of course.
All in all it was quite a boring summer, but at least I got to visit home and catch up with a few old friends.
Still far from wonderful but down to 179 words from 251.
Good luck, bakes. Writing in another language is difficult and you have my admiration for attempting it. I notice a couple of areas that you might want to concentrate on. The first is verb tenses. English can be especially tricky. Make sure you decide if you are going to write in present or in past tense and remain consistent. Also, pay careful attention to the order of the words in your sentences. Think of writing as building with blocks. Build your sentences one word at a time. Words build sentences which build paragraps which build your essay. Work closely with your teacher as he can give you instant feedback. A good way to absorb English syntax is to read as many things as you can get your hands on. Good luck and keep writing.