Family informed of a soldier's death

The military still sends two soldiers to the home of the next of kin as long as they live close to a military base. I'm not sure what they do if the parents or spouse live in the middle of nowhere. They also send a soldier to escort the remains back home. Not too long ago I read an essay by a guy who had to do that, though I can't find it now.

I assume you are talking about how it is done in the US?

TeddyG said:

I assume you are talking about how it is done in the US?

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TeddyG, how is it done there?

There is a special unit in the overall army stucture, which either you volunteer for or you are picked for, but you must agree to enter.
When news of the death of a soldier arrives, the name is NEVER released immediatelly. This is written into LAW.
A group of three, two people from the unit, (one wears a uniform and sometimes the second does not) and a doctor (they cannot come without the doctor) goes to find the family. (Remember sometimes they will just find a sibling or another in the house). They used to go by army jeep, but during war time, Israeli's have this sixth sense for this, the moment the jeep arrived on a street every single person would cower in fear. So now they usually arrive by taxi, with a jeep 5 minutes behind.

The people in the unit obviously have no idea what to expect or what type of reaction they will get. Though they are trained for this, and certainly have too much on-hands training as well. They usually have a complete military file on the person killed.

The family is NEVER left alone. Period. If they need a doctor, for meds or tranquilizers the doctor is there (he is a military doctor). The unit will alwys wait until relatives arrive.

This is done for Jews, Arabs, Druze etc. Each religion, each family, each person obviously reacts differently. Some people actually refuse to open the door, (so that they can delay the news of Job). Some collapse. Some just dont comprehend it. Some become violent. Some stoic, others just fall into a heap into the corner.

But the unit is trained, the names are NEVER released before notification of family, and if the family lives outside of Israel this can take time. The Israieli embassy in the country is contacted and a high-ranking officical coupled with a doctor will be dispatched.

It is to my great sorrow, a very structured thing, based upon too much experience. I know someone in one of these units. Takes him weeks to get his head on straight after he has to do this.

Thanks for the information. I learned something already today!

I am impressed the army structure has the presence to send a doctor. That of course is not done here. Yes, relatives are notified first before blasting names on the news.

Yes, it is sad about the amout of experience they have. And I hope your friend has a good support system for what he has to go through.

Thanks for sharing this.

I can only give you a brief description how the Air Force does it, but I suspect other branches are similar. It depends on where the next of kin are located, but assuming it’s near a military base, and the deceased is an enlisted member or a company grade officer, the general procedure goes something like this.

An officer volunteer in the grade of Major, or above, selects a team consisting of a medical technician and a chaplain. An attempt is made to find a chaplain of the same faith as the deceased, but any chaplain can be a team member. The officer may also try to find a friend of the deceased, or the family whose presence could mitigate the grief. A unit commander often accompanies the team.

The team uses a military vehicle when practical, but may also use a private vehicle. The medical technician remains in the vehicle unless needed, and the chaplain may or may not go to the door, depending on the situation. Those who go to the door are wearing the service dress uniform. The team leader carries a carefully written letter of notification, but verbally relates the contents of the letter before presenting it to the next of kin.

They are careful to discuss nothing other than the facts of the letter. No details of the death are revealed at that time. They offer the next of kin the services of an Air Force team to notify other family members, if that is needed. They are not allowed to touch the person, or to go beyond offering the official condolences prescribed by Air Force instructions.

Depending on circumstances, there are many variations in the way the task is performed, but those are the basic actions taken.