Story telling technique...

[nicegrrl]

On a few occaisions, my characters actions have nothing to do with what they are talking about. I think the story might get confusing if you have to read through dialogue that doesnt really match the situation. Should I focus on the emotional state of the character instead of the physical action, so not to dillute the storyline? Or should I keep to describing the action, so I am sticking to the "show, dont tell" rule.

Also, In general, Im not one to include a lot of physical description. Do you have some suggestions for what physical descriptions are good to include and which arent. I hear you should try and include descriptions that move the story along, but I notice that a lot of writers breach that rule.

[Sesselja]

I'm not entirely sure if you understand what you mean here, so forgive me if I talk at cross purpose with you.

If you mean that your characters are talking about a local scandal while driving a car (to take a simple example), then readers are quite capable of following the story.

What you need to consider is how the action works on the dialogue. Do you use beats (actions between dialogues) to such an extent that it dilutes what is being said? Then you might want to cut it down.

Narration/description can be used to slow down the speed of your story. If your characters are always running around or talking constantly, it can be a bit much on the read. Narration allows them to breath a little. It also allows you to set the scene and bring some colour into your story. A bar is not just a bar. It can be seedy, posh, a hotel bar, part of chain etc, but we won't know unless you give us some hints about it in your description.

[nicegrrl]

Thanks Sesselja, that is very helpful. I guess its not as confusing as I think it is.

[Chisem]

Just about anything will speed your story along. Does the hero tower over the girl, or does the girl tower over the hero. I like the color of eyes -- Frank Yerby is a master of using eye color to develop character. Is the character embarassed by their dress ie; bluejeans in a posh restaurant, dirty clothes in spotless kitchen, shorts in church; anything that shows the character is in a unique position. Go people watch. Write descriptions in your mind as people walk by, their height, their skin color, quality of clothes, do they slouch or stride puposefully, then imagine why they slouch or walk with a purpose, sketch out a scene in your mind, then write it down in a notebook.

Both physical and emotional are equally important. And, as far as I'm concerned, don't have the characters talk about something unimportant to the story. Okay, someone might mentiion the weather, but heat or cold should have something to do with the story.

Every word should count, and if it doesn't, then cut it out.

As to writers breeching the rules. The big names do that, but only because they are now big names. It takes Dean Koontz a hundred pages to get into one of his novels, but it wasn't that way in his early writings. This is no criticism of Koontz, I think he's the greatest. Read his wonderful description of a desert flood in Dark Rivers of the Heart. It's pure poetry filled with emotional and physical terror.

Sorry I carried on so long. My publishing success has been in nonfiction true crime but I find the same rules of description still apply. In one opening segment I pointed out a killer was wearing a straw cowboy hat in December, a real no-no for a real cowboy who only wears felt in winter. It gives description and develops character.

Thanks for bearing with me, and good luck.
Bob

[nicegrrl]

Bob, please dont apologize. That was really helpful input. I need to be less afraid of writing in details. I just notice that a lot of unpublished authors write in details that drown out the story.

[Linda Adams]

It's not so much of a rule as a guideline. Some people will get into description and write horrendous purple prose that is supposed to sound writerly and arty--but really serves no purpose other than to look pretty. Moreover, they might spend pages of it, simply describing trees while nothing else is going on. Or describing every single possible detail to the point of distraction.

Here are some key things to remember when doing description that might help:

Do describe your hero/heroine. They're the star of the story. They deserve the spotlight.

Try to bring some of their personality and conflict into the description. You don't need a literal head to toe description ... just something significant about them. For instance, in Laurell K. Hamilton's early books, the main character is insecure about her looks because her mother died and her father remarried someone who looked very different, causing people to ask if she was adopted. It gets a description across and builds the character at the same time.

Don't describe everyone. Sometimes an extra is just an extra and we don't need to know details. On the other hand, a single line of description of an extra can be useful in defining the POV character's personality. Sue Grafton describes seeing two homeless kids as one had a digit up the nose mining the contents. That is the personality of the main character to a T and helps define her while building the scene for the reader.

Use the description of a character to elicit an emoton. If your good guy is looking at tangling with the biggest baddest bad guy he's ever seen, then a description of said bad guy can be used to build the fear, suspense, and tension. Likewise, if character finds the love of her life, describing that person would greatly add to the story.

It's really all how you use the description.

[Chisem]

And Linda said it better than I did. Too much is really bad.

[Mayor of Moronia]

Every writing book I know of says "What does it do to move the story along?" If "it" doesnt push the story, toss it. A story is no place for loose associations and tangential ideas.