I was sitting in my English garden
In May or was it June
Whistling a common melody
That was slightly out of tune
I glanced around a the flower beds
Admiring the tall Bamboo
With its towering stems of yellow
And its leaves so green and new
Then something large and black and white
Caught the corner of my eye
It looked just like Yeti
Or a giant sized magpie
I looked again more closely
To make sure I wasn’t dreaming
Then I heard a sort of growling sound
And next a lady screaming
The scream came from the house next door
John Potter and wife Amanda
She was shouting in a high-pitched tone
John, our neighbor’s got a Panda
Now everybody knows quite well
Exotic breeds or types of primate
Never choose to live in England
Because they hate our climate
I read that even chimpanzees in zoos
Who love jam and tea and scones
Prefer Fish & Chips inside their cage
In spite of al the bones
I concentrated very well
And got a real scare
It was indeed a Panda
A giant Chinese bear
It could be worse, I began to think
As I walked towards the beast
If the visitor was a tiger
I could be his midday feast
I say, you there, Mr. Panda Bear
Is there something that I can do
Would you like some tea with the bamboo leaves
Or do you wish to call the zoo?
No thank you sir the bear replied,
I’d prefer coffee over tea
And call the Zoo if it pleases you
But they’re not in search of me
I’m from Chengdu, he continued
A western Chinese city
I caught a flight to England
Because I heard it was so pretty
Is your weather always cold and damp
As I was told when I left home
Oh, and I need to call my mother please
Could I possibly use your phone?
Most certainly, I said to him
But my cell phone’s very small
And your hands are huge and furry
So I’ll help you make the call
He stayed the night in Mary’s room
And we talked till it was late
We ate strawberries after dinner
And he licked cream right off his plate
It may be wet in England
But it keeps grass and plants so green
And you never know who will visit next
Perhaps it’ll be the Queen!
Fletcher Stickleback