showing/telling...help?

[GuatDad]

I posted this in the newbie forum but figured i would get more help with it here...

Can someone just give me some examples of both of these? I get a lot of comments about me telling too much and not showing. I really want to get better at this and I want to learn. Can someone help me out here with this concept so I can improve my work?

[reph]

Two suggestions. (1) Try "showing telling" or "show tell" in an archive search. The search box for this forum is near the bottom of its main page. There are many old threads on the subject, including this one: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25640 . (2) Post a sample of your writing in Share Your Work and ask specifically for help identifying the "show" parts and the "tell" parts.

[CaroGirl]

Telling:
"Laurie was a shy girl, especially at school."

Showing:
"Laurie let the swaths of her dark hair cover her face. She navigated the school halls with her head down, her eyes on her shoes, willing herself invisible. She wished she were a chameleon and could change her skin and clothes into drab locker-gray."

I hope that helps. Keep in mind, it's a balance. Some things you can tell, some should really be shown.

[emeraldcite]

Check out the Writing Novels FAQ (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35603). Specifically, check out this post (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=657734&postcount=17) from the FAQ.

There is also a great thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18540) on this in Writing Short Fiction.

[maestrowork]

I posted this in the newbie forum but figured i would get more help with it here...

Can someone just give me some examples of both of these? I get a lot of comments about me telling too much and not showing. I really want to get better at this and I want to learn. Can someone help me out here with this concept so I can improve my work?

Post something in Share Your Work and we might be able to tell you why you're "telling" too much and not showing enough.

But basically, it's all about levels of detail and how well you can pull your readers into your world. The more telling you are, the less involved your readers are with your story and characters.

There are a lot of great discussions on the topic here. However, I think the best way for you to learn actually is to have your work critiqued.

[GuatDad]

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36525

I posted that a few days ago and got some good constructive criticism on it. That is what got me to thinking about the "show dont tell" thing.

Feel free to critique it there or here, either way I will learn from it.

[maestrowork]

I have some time so I will go over there specifically for "show vs. tell."

[cwfgal]

Think of it this way. You wake up one morning on a strange world with no idea where you are or how you got there. The creatures living there are not human and they speak in a language you can't understand. How are you going to figure out where you are, what you should do, what you can eat, what the customs are, what the laws are, what the inhabitants do, etc? You don't have someone at your side to interpret, translate, and explain things (which would be telling) so you will have to figure it out by observing. What can you learn from your observations?

Describe something as you (the character above) would see it, with the limited knowledge you (the character) would have, and try to make it obvious what's going on. That's showing.

I can tell you someone robbed the bank I was at today. Or I can show you by describing: the setting, the sound of the robber charging in with a gun in hand, the way the robber looked with his rubber mask, the palpable fear that hung in the air, the smell of the robber's sweaty body as he rushed by me, the trembling of my body, the action that took place, some of the other people who were in the bank at the time and what their reactions were.

Basically, telling is stating what happens. Showing is painting a picture and letting the reader experience what is happening through various senses by describing action, appearances, smells, sounds, tastes, touch, emotions, etc.

Hope that helps.

Beth

[Kristen King]

I wrote about this on my blog the other day, strangely enough. Click here (http://inkthinker.blogspot.com/2006/07/showing-vs-telling.html) to read about it. The comments are really good, as well, so be sure to check those.

Hope it helps!

Kristen

[Bufty]

I think a firm grasp of POV and the narrator/reader relationship helps in understanding the difference between showing and telling.

[blacbird]

If you're doing a lot of attributing emotions to characters, e.g., stating that they are angry or sad or anxious, etc., you're doing a lot of "telling". It's a form of stage-direction. It essentially means you're trying to tell the reader how he or she should interpret things, rather than describing how things happen and allowing the reader to participate in the interpretation experience. The result is writing that doesn't engage or involve the reader, and cheats the reader out of the most valuable part of the reading experience.

caw.

[Bayou Bill]

It may just be fate, or the moon's alignment with Mars, but recently I've seen a fair number of writers both tell and show the same thing. For example:

She stared in horror, bloodshot eyes bulging, mouth gaping so wide a fly buzzed in and then quickly out while a thick glob of tobacco juice oozed down the pasty skin of her quivering chin.

Bayou Bill :cool:

[Kristen King]

It may just be fate, or the moon's alignment with Mars, but recently I've seen a fair number of writers both tell and show the same thing. For example:

She stared in horror, bloodshot eyes bulging, mouth gaping so wide a fly buzzed in and then quickly out while a thick glob of tobacco juice oozed down the pasty skin of her quivering chin.

Gag. Telling and showing should certainly be complementary, but definitely not redundant. Great example!

Kristen

[scribbler1382]

An example that's always helped me better understand this:

Tell: "He was tall."

Show: "She looked up at him."

[Bayou Bill]

An example that's always helped me better understand this:

Tell: "He was tall."

Show: "She looked up at him."
Great example.

Bayou Bill :cool:

[argenianpoet]

I am reading a book and its first chapter is devoted to Show and Tell. The book is called Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Brown and Dave King and it has been quite informative so far. Many writers in the past have implemented tell in the their novels and a certain amount of well placed narrative summaries are fine in novels today, it's just that people are looking for more scene driven prose, instead of pages of summary. So the biggest difference I can see is writing more scenes, dialogue, etc, and use narrative summary sparingly and where it will complement two sections of "show". Also, if you say he was angry, or she was a very beautiful woman that is tell and a lot of writers do just this after their dialogues. They suggested removing these "telling tags" if you will and see how the dialogue sounds without it. In short, a lot of instances of tell in your manuscript may be tags after dialogue or simply too much narrative summary.

[Norman D Gutter]

Telling:
"Laurie was a shy girl, especially at school." 8 words

Showing:
"Laurie let the swaths of her dark hair cover her face. She navigated the school halls with her head down, her eyes on her shoes, willing herself invisible. She wished she were a chameleon and could change her skin and clothes into drab locker-gray." 45 words
You just changed a 60,000 word novel into a 337,500 word novel.

OK, that's an exaggeration, but my point is that almost every example I've seen of "showing" is much, much longer than the equivalent "telling". It seems to be not a matter of a craft technique, but rather how much detail the writer choses to provide. I'm just not getting it. How do you do it without turning the book into something so long that no one will take it from the shelf?

Maybe I'm the one odd reader who somewhat enjoys being told something; maybe it's my engineering background in technical reading/writing. Why should I have to go through all that work to interpret facial expressions, described body language, etc., when the interpretation is a word away? Maybe I'm a lazy ready, but sometimes I just want to be told, not have to figure out the show.

NDG

[davidthompson]

I'm just not getting it. How do you do it without turning the book into something so long that no one will take it from the shelf?

By picking only the important scenes to include, with brief transitions from one to the next.

Also, showing can actually make a passage shorter, by conveying more information per word. "He was tall" conveys only one thing, that he was, well, tall.

"She looked up at him" is two thirds longer, but it not only tells us he's tall, it also tells us there's a man and a woman, she's shorter than him, they're standing reasonably close to each other (else the height difference wouldn't be noticeable), and she's decided to focus on him. So you've saved all the words it would take to convey those facts after telling, "he was tall."

Why should I have to go through all that work to interpret facial expressions, described body language, etc., when the interpretation is a word away?

Do you think movies would be better if there were a narrator expanding on what's happening on the screen? Serious question. Good showing should illuminate character, motivation, etc. as well as the uninterpreted action in a movie scene. Not that good showing is easy to write! But it may be that your personal taste really does lean more toward detailed exposition.

[Norman D Gutter]

By picking only the important scenes to include, with brief transitions from one to the next.

Also, showing can actually make a passage shorter, by conveying more information per word. "He was tall" conveys only one thing, that he was, well, tall.

"She looked up at him" is two thirds longer, but it not only tells us he's tall, it also tells us there's a man and a woman, she's shorter than him, they're standing reasonably close to each other (else the height difference wouldn't be noticeable), and she's decided to focus on him. So you've saved all the words it would take to convey those facts after telling, "he was tall."Yes, that works fine, as long as there is a "he" and a "she" in the scene. No question here.

Do you think movies would be better if there were a narrator expanding on what's happening on the screen? Serious question... Of course not, but that's two different mediums.

Good showing should illuminate character, motivation, etc. as well as the uninterpreted action in a movie scene. Not that good showing is easy to write! But it may be that your personal taste really does lean more toward detailed exposition.Ok, let me give this a whirl.

Showing:
Norman’s cubicle was so messy he had trouble concentrating on his work.

Telling:
Every time Norman tried to type the words of the Traffic Control Plan that had to be finished by 8:00AM Monday, his eyes were distracted by rolls of construction drawings leaning against the every inch of the walls of his cubicle. His feet messed a stack of papers on the floor under his desk. He kept clicking over to a writing message board when he should have been concentrating on the construction specification. The grey walls of his 8 by 8 matched his Saturday mood. “I should be home working on my W.I.P,” he said aloud, unaware that the cleaning babe was 10 feet away.

[Bayou Bill]

"Tell" isn't a dirty word. There's a time and place for everything, including "telling" in a novel. The problem, especially for beginning writers, is a tendency to overuse "tell" which can make their prose sound a bit like a police report and distance the reader from the action.

There is no formula, no right or wrong way to handle "show & tell." Writing is a craft, an art, not a science. IMHO, the only unbreakable rule for writing successful commercial fiction is, don't bore the reader.

Bayou Bill :cool:

[scribbler1382]

What Bill said. Being a writer is about making choices, both about what to include and what to exclude. Choices about what rules to adhere to, which ones to bend and which ones to break unabashedly.

[Soccer Mom]

What they said. There is a place for both show and tell! (See, kindergarten had it right.) Big lumps of tell (the dreaded info dump. Fear it.) stop the flow of action and take the reader out of the story. Think back to a book that took too long to get going, the one you read and kept thinking "any minute now something is going to happen." Interspersing show and tell keeps it interesting. (Yes, sometimes show can get to be too much. The reader needs a chance to catch his breath.

[maestrowork]

How do you do it without turning the book into something so long that no one will take it from the shelf?


There are many levels of details. And telling is not forbidden; it can be very useful and even preferred. However, showing is always more vivid and exciting. A writer needs to balance show and tell to tell a gripping story.

Obviously, if you describe every facial expression, every gesture, every hand movement, every action to the most minute detail, you may be making your ms. tedious, not to mention 450,000-word long. Then again, if your story is all tell and no show, it's boring and not engaging, not to mention of you have 100,000-word of telling, your plot is probably way too complicated.

Show the important scenes, and summarize the rest. If a guy comes in angry and does something, show me, don't just tell me "oh, he was angry and he killed a bunch of people." Can we say "ho-hum"? However, don't detail something that is rather irrelevant to the plot or with what hand the character draws a picture -- just say he draws a picture; describe the picture, not how he draws it, unless how he draws it is important.

Same with dialogue. Use them for a relevant scene, and make it real, but don't give me dialogue of every "Hi, how are you?" and "Fine, and you? Have you eaten today?"

A writer is like a painter. You need to choose the details to paint. You have all the tools and all the colors at your disposal. The real artistry is in the details and what kind of details.

[LeeFlower]

Showing usually does make things longer, but there are times it makes things a lot shorter, too. Especially when scenebreaks get involved. I always try to 'show' rather than 'tell' location/time changes specifically because it takes fewer words.

I'm digging through my 'my documents' folder for a good example, but it seems I'll have to settle for a mediocre one because that's all I've got at the moment:

“I’ll be careful!”

“No you won’t,” he answered, holding his hand out for a letter Mr. Kindrake had just taken from the mail bag. “You’ll be here.”

“Magus, I passed my civics test months ago. Card-carrying full citizen and all that. You can’t ground me.”

Magus Penn shrugged. "My roof; my boats; my rules. You'll have to swim there."

*****

“You swam here?” Faith asked, leaning out of her window.

“Wasn’t hard,” Indan said, treading water four feet or so below the window ledge. “Magic’s useful that way.”

This isn't really the best example because it's technically still someone 'telling us' she swam, but the characters' actions have shown in two lines what it would have taken me two paragraphs of narrative to tell.

[Kristen King]

There are many levels of details. And telling is not forbidden; it can be very useful and even preferred. However, showing is always more vivid and exciting. A writer needs to balance show and tell to tell a gripping story.

Obviously, if you describe every facial expression, every gesture, every hand movement, every action to the most minute detail, you may be making your ms. tedious, not to mention 450,000-word long. Then again, if your story is all tell and no show, it's boring and not engaging, not to mention of you have 100,000-word of telling, your plot is probably way too complicated.

Very well said. What it comes down to is that the balance of showing and telling can mean the difference between overwriting or underwriting and a damn good story.

Kristen

[Jamesaritchie]

I still think show/tell would be easier for new writers to understand if we called it "describe or tell." The analogy isn't perfect, but it does, I think, make it easier for new writers to understand the difference between show and tell.

[reph]

I still think show/tell would be easier for new writers to understand if we called it "describe or tell."Hmm...new writers might misinterpret that too easily. Telling is describing. To illustrate with an earlier example, you can describe a man as tall, or you can say she looked up at him.

Hey, I just said "illustrate"! Maybe "illustrate or tell" would be clearer?

[Ken Schneider]

Everyone writes the story, as the picture plays in their head.

Write what you are seeing in your minds eye just as you see it.

[Jamesaritchie]

Hmm...new writers might misinterpret that too easily. Telling is describing. To illustrate with an earlier example, you can describe a man as tall, or you can say she looked up at him.

Hey, I just said "illustrate"! Maybe "illustrate or tell" would be clearer?

Illustrate or tell might be a good way to look at it. Or
Maybe "description versus statement" is the right way to look at it.

Either way, telling is not description. "The man is tall" does not describe him, and no police officer would be satisfied with that answer. "Tall" is a completely non-descriptive word, and will mean a different thing to each person who reads the word. If you're five one, then six feet is tall. If you're six feet, then seven feet is tall.

"It was hot" is not a description. It's simply a statement. If you the describe the heat, and describe the effects the heat has on things and people, you're showing it.

But "Illustrate, not tell," or "Describe don't state," something has to change. Illustrate the behavior, or describe the behavior, etc. "Show" just doesn't seem to be working.

Maybe it just comes down to not making statements?

[argenianpoet]

Maybe it just comes down to not making statements?

I think you are getting closer to the heart of the matter James. I have been studying this Mantra hard and heavy for quite a while, and now I think it is just beginning to actually sink in.

[reph]

Either way, telling is not description. "The man is tall" does not describe him, and no police officer would be satisfied with that answer.Pile up enough statements like "The man is tall," though, and you have a description. Many romance novels do this. You know which character is the male lead because he turns up in Chapter One and he's said to have straight/curly/wavy dark/blond/red hair and blue/green/hazel/gray/brown eyes. He's also tall and probably muscular. That these features are given from the heroine's point of view doesn't help. They're still parts of a description.
Maybe it just comes down to not making statements?Something like that. Or it comes down to having the narrator butt out and let the characters enact the story. This isn't quite right, because the narrator tells every sentence. Maybe the writer needs to butt out.

[maestrowork]

But what is a statement, though? Is "she's an alcoholic" a statement, or "she drinks too much" or "she has three too many drinks tonight, and every night" a statement? In truth, they're all statement, because the "author says so." It all comes down the details and how objective they are. Show vs. tell, to me, is really just a matter of levels of detail, from the overtly general -- judgmental even -- statement like "she's beautiful" to a longer description of "she's tall and thin, with long legs and not an ounce of excess fat" to "she is five-foot-ten with 36 inches-long legs, brown hair, about 130 pounds and 12% body fat."

I do like the thing about "the writer should butt out" part. Let the readers get it -- I think that's the key. If you say "she is beautiful" you're supplying writer's commentary. It's not really a description but how the writer (or POV character) makes a qualitative judgment. So is "he's a drunk" or "she's a whore." By describing specific attributes and action, we can let the readers decide and see (and hear and smell and feel) for themselves that "oh, he is a drunk, and she is a whore" instead of "that's just what you think, Mr. Author."

Again, "tell" has its place -- sometimes "he's drunk" is the best sentence: it gets the point across and lets us move on. A writer needs to examine everything and decides on the amount of detail to present.

[unfabulousxox]

Telling:
"Laurie was a shy girl, especially at school."

Showing:
"Laurie let the swaths of her dark hair cover her face. She navigated the school halls with her head down, her eyes on her shoes, willing herself invisible. She wished she were a chameleon and could change her skin and clothes into drab locker-gray."

I hope that helps. Keep in mind, it's a balance. Some things you can tell, some should really be shown.


Thanks for those, they really helped :)

[Novelist in Paradise]

Illustrate or tell might be a good way to look at it. Or
Maybe "description versus statement" is the right way to look at it.

Either way, telling is not description. "The man is tall" does not describe him, and no police officer would be satisfied with that answer.

"He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree"

(Taken from a list of student metaphors making the blogging rounds)

[Le Bec]

Too much tell and not enough show is a HUGE problem I have. I'm not entirely sure why - perhaps its just quicker to tell than to show (in terms of getting my ideas down on paper)? Whatever it is it's definately something I'll have to work on. Thanks for the examples, they've been very helpful :)

[reph]

Again, "tell" has its place -- sometimes "he's drunk" is the best sentence: it gets the point across and lets us move on.Elmer Gantry begins "Elmer Gantry was drunk."

[Jamesaritchie]

But what is a statement, though? Is "she's an alcoholic" a statement, or "she drinks too much" or "she has three too many drinks tonight, and every night" a statement? In truth, they're all statement, because the "author says so." It all comes down the details and how objective they are. Show vs. tell, to me, is really just a matter of levels of detail, from the overtly -- judgmental even -- general statement like "she's beautiful" to a longer description of "she's tall and thin, with long legs and not an ounce of excess fat" to "she is five-foot-ten with 36 inches-long legs, brown hair, about 130 pounds and 12% body fat."

.

They're all statements because of grammar, not because the author says so. And they're all tell, not show. There isn't one bit of show there.

Show isn't a matter of adding more statements, or adding more opinions or of adding more details. Details can't change tell to show. No matter how many statements or opinions or details there are, tell is still tell. Whether the statement is bare bones as it "she is tall," or goes on and on as in "she is five-foot-ten with 36 inches-long legs, brown hair, about 130 pounds and 12% body fat" it's still tell and not show. You're just telling more tna you were before. Now you're telling us how tall she is, you're telling us how long her legs are, you're telling us how much she weighs, and you're telling us how much body fat she has. Tell, tell, tell.

Every last bit of it is tell. Adding details does not turn tell into show. Three pages of statements, three pages of deatils, remains tell.

Sometimes tell is necessary, and a perfectly valid way of getting something across, but tell remains tell, no matter how many statements, and no matter how much detail, is added. Tell should never be eliminated completely. I don't think it's even possible. Tell is too useful. But I think it's important to know what is and isn't tell, and statements, are almost always show, and you can't change tell to show simply by adding details.


Show is a description of the effects and affects of a statement, not an extension of more statements and more details. Showing a woman is tall means having her stoop to make herself appear shorter. Show is the flat shoes she wears. Show is the way a tall woman carries herself in the presence of women who are of average height, and the way she tries to shrink when meeting an attractive man three inches shorter than she is. Show is the look on her face and the anrgy jerkiness of her movements when she goes through a whole rack of clothing without finding a blouse with sleeves long enough to reach her wrists, or a skirt long enough to touch her knees. Show is the way her legs are cramped when she rides in a friend's car, and how she doesn't want to complain because it would only draw attention to her height.

Same this with heat. "It is hot" is tell, and adding details, "It's 110 in the shade, the hottest day we've ever had, and the weatherman says it may be even hotter tomorror" is still tell. You could add a page of statements, and it would remain tell.

Show is the little old lady who has to sit down halfway to the store, even though there is no shade. Show is the man who unthinkingly rests his hand on the hood of his black car, and then jerks it away with a yelp of pain. Show is the sweat running down people's faces, and the short breathes they take that seem to do no good. Show is the dog who looks longingly at the cat, but then, tongue hanging out, decides to go lie down in the shade rather than indulging in a chase.

Show is a teenager turning on a fire hydrant, despite the fact that it's against the law, and drawing a crowd of kids who all want to play in the water. Show is the police officers who don't want to get out of their air conditioned car to do anything about it. Show is teh anger the police offcers display if they do have to leave tehir car, not because the kids are wasting water, but because they'r enow out in teh heat.

Show is the lone kid who saw this happening from his window, runs out to join in without thinking to put his shoes on, and starts hopping and crying because the sidewalk in front of his apartment burns his feet. Shows is the row of previously beautiful flowers in the window sill that are now faded and drooping, and the paint on the flower box beginng to curl. Show is the hard-packed, cracked dirt, and the browning grass in the yards. Show is the couple who buys ice cream cones to fight the heat, but has the cones melt faster than they can eat them, covering their hands with streaks of white.

If you make a statement, that's tell. If the make ten statements in a row, and add detail after detail after detail, it's still tell. But if you think of a statement, and then describe the affects and effects of that statement, it's show.

[Jamesaritchie]

Elmer Gantry begins "Elmer Gantry was drunk."

Tell definitely has its place. I don't think it's possible to write a novel without using tell, and even if you could, it probably wouldn't read very well. The problem, I think, is the same as that of passive voice. Passive voice isn't automatically bad, but not knowing what passive voice is always causes problems.

Tell isn't bad, either. Tell has its uses, and is sometimes the best way of getting things across. But not knowing the difference between show and tell, and not knowing when it's best to use one or the other, always causes problems.

[James D. Macdonald]

Best collection of examples evah:
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=13954&postcount=7

[Anthony P. Steerpike]

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” — Anton Chekhov

[Jamesaritchie]

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” — Anton Chekhov

That's just about perfect.

[maestrowork]

So the trick is indirect reference, then. Don't tell me she is tall, but show me how you look up at her when you talk. Don't tell me the moon is shining, but show the the glint of light on broken glass. Don't tell me he is lying, but show me what he says and does. Don't tell me it's hot, but show me the sweat stains on his dress shirt. Don't tell me the dog is ferocious, show me how it bites.

[Jamesaritchie]

So the trick is indirect reference, then. Don't tell me she is tall, but show me how you look up at her when you talk. Don't tell me the moon is shining, but show the the glint of light on broken glass. Don't tell me he is lying, but show me what he says and does. Don't tell me it's hot, but show me the sweat stains on his dress shirt. Don't tell me the dog is ferocious, show me how it bites.

That's it exactly.

[Vaxil]

Just to put my 2 cents in,

I agree that I am quite the reader that likes to be told something. If someone sits down and describes actions to me, "She raced down the hall, she looked up at the clock. She was going to be late." THen I'm going to understand and reward for great use writing. Now if you went "She ran the down the hall, racing as fast as she could, pushing other kids out of her way until she got to her homeroom, and sighed as she sat down at her desk." then I'm going to be confused unless you added "She had almost been late.". Because to me this states, maybe she was being chased, or called or threatend, not specifically that she was going to be late.

I think a right mixture is always best, but IMO, I prefere to be told something.

"He jumped 25 feet high in the air."
Um, what?

"He jumped 25 feet high in the air because of his capabilites"
Now I understand!

[Jamesaritchie]

Just to put my 2 cents in,

I agree that I am quite the reader that likes to be told something. If someone sits down and describes actions to me, "She raced down the hall, she looked up at the clock. She was going to be late." THen I'm going to understand and reward for great use writing. Now if you went "She ran the down the hall, racing as fast as she could, pushing other kids out of her way until she got to her homeroom, and sighed as she sat down at her desk." then I'm going to be confused unless you added "She had almost been late.". Because to me this states, maybe she was being chased, or called or threatend, not specifically that she was going to be late.

I think a right mixture is always best, but IMO, I prefere to be told something.

"He jumped 25 feet high in the air."
Um, what?

"He jumped 25 feet high in the air because of his capabilites"
Now I understand!

I suspect you're in the huge minority in liking to be told rather than shown.

I would also say you should never write a sentence such as "She raced down the hall, she looked up at the clock."

[Kristen King]

I would also say you should never write a sentence such as "She raced down the hall, she looked up at the clock."

In other words, "Just say no to comma splices"? :]

[maestrowork]

I agree that I am quite the reader that likes to be told something. If someone sits down and describes actions to me, "She raced down the hall, she looked up at the clock. She was going to be late." THen I'm going to understand and reward for great use writing. Now if you went "She ran the down the hall, racing as fast as she could, pushing other kids out of her way until she got to her homeroom, and sighed as she sat down at her desk." then I'm going to be confused unless you added "She had almost been late.". Because to me this states, maybe she was being chased, or called or threatend, not specifically that she was going to be late.


That's just poor writing, and has nothing to do with show vs. tell. Great "show" should not be obscure; it should be very clear to the readers, mostly in context. I don't like when the author has to explain everything. If the woman is late, how about this:

It was five after twelve already. She ran down the hall, racing as fast as she could, pushing other kids out of her way until she got to her homeroom. All the other moms were there already. They all looked at her when she entered the room.

There's still no need to "explain" that she was late. In fact, if after all that you still have to say "she was late," you are just being redundant.

[GuatDad]

Thanks, Guys! This helped!

[Kristen King]

Incidentally, I've posted on my blog twice about showing vs. telling, one general post here (http://inkthinker.blogspot.com/2006/07/showing-vs-telling.html), and one focusing on showing vs. telling in first person here (http://inkthinker.blogspot.com/2006/08/showing-vs-telling-in-first-person-pov_09.html). Maybe helpful? Maybe not? Worth a shot?

Kristen

[writerterri]

This was great!