Waking Up
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What's wrong with "Jim woke up."?? It's best to stay clean and to the point. (IMHO).
Add in whatever you need to in order set time and place.
"Jim woke up three hours later."
"Jim woke up to find that Susan had left."
Add in whatever you need to in order set time and place.
"Jim woke up three hours later."
"Jim woke up to find that Susan had left."
Unless the awakening is somehow of significance to the plot or character development, what Soccer Mom says is indeed best. Don't get bogged in mundane details (eating, answering phones, opening doors, dressing, etc. etc.).
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I very rarely do it. Generally the action worth describing happens after they've risen, scratched, peed and brushed their teeth (none of which is very interesting).
I avoid doing this like the plague, unless I want to portray a hangover or something, if it's relevant to the story.
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In my first book I had the character slowly waking up...at night...pretty stars...soft wind...he's disoriented...and he stands sloooowly up...he makes his way to town...to find out what's happened....zzzzzzz.
It got rejected. A LOT.
I changed to a much more dynamic opening, an opening that made the editor miss her subway stop home, and the book sold.
Unless the bad guy's shoving a gun up the hero's nose as a wake up call, skip it.
Also--AVOID using the word "yawn" or the action of yawning. It has been known to spawn yawns in readers. (Feeling a yaaawn coming ooooonnn?) Then they might put your book down and not pick it up again.
You want readers to write you nasty letters about how your bleeping book kept them up all night reading and that they couldn't get any work done the next day for lack of sleep.
It got rejected. A LOT.
I changed to a much more dynamic opening, an opening that made the editor miss her subway stop home, and the book sold.
Unless the bad guy's shoving a gun up the hero's nose as a wake up call, skip it.
Also--AVOID using the word "yawn" or the action of yawning. It has been known to spawn yawns in readers. (Feeling a yaaawn coming ooooonnn?) Then they might put your book down and not pick it up again.
You want readers to write you nasty letters about how your bleeping book kept them up all night reading and that they couldn't get any work done the next day for lack of sleep.
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Waking up
First give teh character a reason to be asleep. If you must have a scene where a character wakes up, make it an action scene, not a Folger's morning scene.
First give teh character a reason to be asleep. If you must have a scene where a character wakes up, make it an action scene, not a Folger's morning scene.
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I don't let my characters sleep, normally, but once I did and I wrote this unbelievable piece of writing: Sara awakened.
SpookyWriter
Banned
Crawled out of bed.
Was startled to find a hand clutching his throat.
He jumped out of the bed to discover he was dead?
The morning sunlight poked him in the eye.
Just a moment more and he would find the treasure. Boom! The building shook and he was thrown off the pee-stained mattress.
--
Waking up is hard to do. But it is simply a matter of what is the reason of showing someone crawling or rolling out of bed? Is this important to the story? Sometimes it is, and other times it's just filler.
Good luck!
Was startled to find a hand clutching his throat.
He jumped out of the bed to discover he was dead?
The morning sunlight poked him in the eye.
Just a moment more and he would find the treasure. Boom! The building shook and he was thrown off the pee-stained mattress.
--
Waking up is hard to do. But it is simply a matter of what is the reason of showing someone crawling or rolling out of bed? Is this important to the story? Sometimes it is, and other times it's just filler.
Good luck!
I like using the "waking up" scene to introduce my characters, but like everyone here has said, it has to be interesting. How they act in weird situations can throw the reader right into the plot while giving some insight to what type of character they are.
For example, Billy wakes up in an alley stinking of booze and no clothes. Or Tim wakes up in the trunk of a car, etc...
For example, Billy wakes up in an alley stinking of booze and no clothes. Or Tim wakes up in the trunk of a car, etc...
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Gillhoughly, that was freakin' creepy. I just read your post and yawned.
I read somewhere that starting a novel with the MC waking up is a cliche. I guess I hadn't noticed that, but maybe it's because a lot of novels that start thay way don't get published. But you didn't say you were starting the story that way, just that you needed a character to wake up. Going out of your way to avoid a common phrase might leave you worse off if you're not careful. It's like "said" in a way-- people are used to seeing "He opened his eyes," so it's not going to register as unusual (unless he's waking up every third page or something).
I read somewhere that starting a novel with the MC waking up is a cliche. I guess I hadn't noticed that, but maybe it's because a lot of novels that start thay way don't get published
. But you didn't say you were starting the story that way, just that you needed a character to wake up. Going out of your way to avoid a common phrase might leave you worse off if you're not careful. It's like "said" in a way-- people are used to seeing "He opened his eyes," so it's not going to register as unusual (unless he's waking up every third page or something).
LeeFlower said:I read somewhere that starting a novel with the MC waking up is a cliche. I guess I hadn't noticed that, but maybe it's because a lot of novels that start thay way don't get published
I read that somewhere, too. I think I also saw a reference to it somewhere on this site. I wish I could remember because I would like to read it again.
There's a great scene of the hero waking up in Douglas Adams' "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency", I can't remember how it goes & all my books are currently on the other side of the world, but I highly recommend it, if you have to do waking up.
It's not at the start of the book, altho it is the first time the hero is introduced. But by that time, we've already been on another planet, had a couple split up, somebody got killed and Odd Things have happened at a formak college dinner in Cambridge. So the reader is already well hooked by this point.
On the whole, I'm with what most of the others said - unless the waking up is integral to your plot (hangover, startlingly beautiful stranger found next to hero in bed, house fire) I'd skip it.
It's not at the start of the book, altho it is the first time the hero is introduced. But by that time, we've already been on another planet, had a couple split up, somebody got killed and Odd Things have happened at a formak college dinner in Cambridge. So the reader is already well hooked by this point.
On the whole, I'm with what most of the others said - unless the waking up is integral to your plot (hangover, startlingly beautiful stranger found next to hero in bed, house fire) I'd skip it.
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The only time I've ever shown someone waking up was indeed, the beginning of a tale. It was a paragraph about how she (the MC) scratched a mole, a freckle, and even fingerprints that were no longer there. She scratched at them until they bled. For her, this was typical, but I only put in this routine, at all, because it wasn't ordinary for anyone else (not that I know of anyway).
Most of the time however, I just skip it and say something like "The following afternoon, Belinda Snicklefratz went to the mall, not for a typical day of shoping but in order to conquer the hoardes of axe wielding fleas."
Most of the time however, I just skip it and say something like "The following afternoon, Belinda Snicklefratz went to the mall, not for a typical day of shoping but in order to conquer the hoardes of axe wielding fleas."
My novel opens with three people waking up, each in different ways, but under the same circumstances (nobody wakes up dead or in alleys or anything). I thought maybe this wasn't gripping enough for people who demand constant action, so I took chapter three (in which a character in a subplot dies during a demonstration) and made that my prologue, so people hopefully have something "gripping" to start off with. But I can still think of my book as starting with the waking up scene.
Is it important? Yes.
Is it important? Yes.
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If a wake-up scene is absolutely essential to the plot, try to find a way to make it punchy. Give your mc an obstacle. I think the three most classic examples of this are:
-what was that noise that just woke your mc up?
-Someone's trying to get them out of bed and they don't want to wake up. Round one, fight!
-No time to say "hello--" Goodbye! They're late they're late they're late!
They might be used a lot, but they've still got a looot of mileage left in 'em if you know how to give them petrol. And of course there are a lot of other, less common ways to give your MC some drama with their morning tea.
-what was that noise that just woke your mc up?
-Someone's trying to get them out of bed and they don't want to wake up. Round one, fight!
-No time to say "hello--" Goodbye! They're late they're late they're late!
They might be used a lot, but they've still got a looot of mileage left in 'em if you know how to give them petrol. And of course there are a lot of other, less common ways to give your MC some drama with their morning tea.
Here's what happened:
Protag almost dies.
Saved in time by rescuer.
Falls unconcious (due to loss of blood).
Wakes up in rescuer's home.
Is that fine? I don't think it's too deviant from the story to say that the protag needed some rest after almost dying. But you guys are the experts!
Protag almost dies.
Saved in time by rescuer.
Falls unconcious (due to loss of blood).
Wakes up in rescuer's home.
Is that fine? I don't think it's too deviant from the story to say that the protag needed some rest after almost dying. But you guys are the experts!
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Yes, opening a book with a character waking up is the writer subconsciously waking up to the WIP.
Or something like that.
It is a HUGE cliche, and I'm wary of reading any book/story that opens with a "waking up" scene. Many writers just don't know how to do them well.
Waking up in a mysterious, empty white room is another huge cliche.
The room used to signify the blank white page in the typewriter. Sooner or later a writer with no clear idea of what to write may end up floundering in White Room Syndrome. I sensibly shredded my brief bout with it.
Now I really needed my character to wake up at the start of that book; it was essential to the plot. A few other times I've done waking up scenes, but they were the result the MC taking a conk onna noggin.
Keep in mind that a conk strong enough to knock a character out will usually render some type of amnesia about the injury. In a real life case the cops arrested a woman for murder when she described the intruder who hit her in the head then killed her family. The ER doc knew she'd never have remembered had she truly been knocked out cold. She'd done the murder, then faked a head injury. It didn't work. You can lose 30 minutes, you can lose whole decades when your brain is given that bad a trauma.
Hee-hee-hee!
Mythbuster experiments to the contrary I have seen yawns travel from one end of a room to another. I have caught yawns from my pets, and while watching a nature show caught one from a snake yawning on screen. Just the word YAWN makes me wanna yaawwwwnnnnn.
Oh, there I go....
Or something like that.
It is a HUGE cliche, and I'm wary of reading any book/story that opens with a "waking up" scene. Many writers just don't know how to do them well.
Waking up in a mysterious, empty white room is another huge cliche.
The room used to signify the blank white page in the typewriter. Sooner or later a writer with no clear idea of what to write may end up floundering in White Room Syndrome. I sensibly shredded my brief bout with it.
Now I really needed my character to wake up at the start of that book; it was essential to the plot. A few other times I've done waking up scenes, but they were the result the MC taking a conk onna noggin.
Keep in mind that a conk strong enough to knock a character out will usually render some type of amnesia about the injury. In a real life case the cops arrested a woman for murder when she described the intruder who hit her in the head then killed her family. The ER doc knew she'd never have remembered had she truly been knocked out cold. She'd done the murder, then faked a head injury. It didn't work. You can lose 30 minutes, you can lose whole decades when your brain is given that bad a trauma.
Hee-hee-hee!
Mythbuster experiments to the contrary I have seen yawns travel from one end of a room to another. I have caught yawns from my pets, and while watching a nature show caught one from a snake yawning on screen. Just the word YAWN makes me wanna yaawwwwnnnnn.
Oh, there I go....
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Although entertaining, their methods are, shall we say, less than scientific.
Sometimes, I like to watch them so that I can yell at the screen: "You idiots! What about..."
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In real life, people sleep and wake up. To me, a book without the normal daily activities is void and boring. As writers, I think we can and should be innovative. If you want your character to wake up--be direct or indirect, but be innovative. If not direct, try to do it after the first five words.
Jim yelled loud enough to wake the whole damn neighborhood, the cramp in his calf causing his leg to draw up in a spasm. For sure, he was awake now. . . .
Jim yelled loud enough to wake the whole damn neighborhood, the cramp in his calf causing his leg to draw up in a spasm. For sure, he was awake now. . . .
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My super-duper wake-up scene:
Nothing more is necessary. My character then goes on to recall a horrible nightmare and then realized the phone woke her up. She recieves mysterious visitors. Blah blah blah.
(oh, and by the way. If you repeat the word yawn lots of times you're liable to cause someone to yawn, as well as if you yawn, whoever sees you will yawn too because yawns are contagious. It's cool what a simple yawn can do, huh?)
Nothing more is necessary. My character then goes on to recall a horrible nightmare and then realized the phone woke her up. She recieves mysterious visitors. Blah blah blah.
(oh, and by the way. If you repeat the word yawn lots of times you're liable to cause someone to yawn, as well as if you yawn, whoever sees you will yawn too because yawns are contagious. It's cool what a simple yawn can do, huh?)
Well, my novel starts off with my character waking up.
I set the house on fire and collapsed everything around him, so that sort of expediated the whole "he stretched luxeriantly and rolled over, slept another half an hour, twenty minutes on his left side, ten minutes on his back, yawned a bit, pet the cat, and started to get out of bed" tedium.
I cannot recommend setting your character's house on fire enough.
I set the house on fire and collapsed everything around him, so that sort of expediated the whole "he stretched luxeriantly and rolled over, slept another half an hour, twenty minutes on his left side, ten minutes on his back, yawned a bit, pet the cat, and started to get out of bed" tedium.
I cannot recommend setting your character's house on fire enough.
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sPeeDee said:I cannot recommend setting your character's house on fire enough.
Well, I dunno,
my character has clients calling her at all hours. I'm running out of wake up call scenes. Fire sounds good to me. She can say she has to go, cause the house is on fire.14 hours BIC...if it don't make sense....
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