Scared Of Writing

Celia Cyanide · Jul 16, 2006

I have a problem that's sort of a variation on traditional procrastination.

Lately I am afraid to work on my WIP. It seems to go well, and I like the story, but I'm scared to get started each day. I think I'm scared that it won't work, that I'll write more of it, and I won't like it as much as I do now.

I am aware that this is a silly think to worry about. My problem is that it's just the way I feel, and I can't shake it. Does anyone else worry like this? And how do you deal with it?

Elizabeth Slick · Jul 16, 2006

I can relate in a BIG way. My novel took me six years to write, so there were a lot of times of procrastination there. What helped me when I felt like that, was going back through it and editing, or doing word find for a word, or, reading a richly detailed novel or book in the theme of what I was writing about.

Now I'm scared to start the next book. Good luck and leave those dirty dishes alone. Re-organize the mail basket and junk drawer later and turn off the TV. It might help. (speaking from personal experience

reph · Jul 16, 2006

I want to post a brilliantly insightful and constructive reply, but I'm afraid I won't be able to say anything helpful, so I'm afraid to say anything.

Oh, wait, that's silly, isn't it?

*points superfluously to an implied parallel*

Yes, many people have independently invented the reason for hesitation you describe. I think it's a common reason for procrastinating. There are all kinds of things I might be able to write, but I haven't tried them, because I'm not confident I'd do them well. Not trying them doesn't resolve the problem, and I don't recommend it.

I read about one writer who always wrote his first drafts on colored paper. That way, he knew he wasn't doing something "real," and it didn't matter if he screwed up. It freed him to go ahead and write. The backs of envelopes would work, too.

TrainofThought · Jul 16, 2006

Celia Cyanide said:
I am aware that this is a silly think to worry about. My problem is that it's just the way I feel, and I can't shake it. Does anyone else worry like this? And how do you deal with it?

I have those moments. Procrastination is my middle name. My writing skills, by no means, compares to others but there is faith in my story and willingness to learn. People have their own writing style, consistency being an important factor. The knowledge and talent of other writers is intimidating, but the emotions and imagination are different because they are yours. If you believe in your story and characters, the plot will bloom on its own. I am dyslexic refusing fear. Is it harder? Yes. Is it impossible? No. Believe in your abilities and talents. If you don’t, no one else will.

SC Harrison · Jul 16, 2006

Celia Cyanide said:
I am aware that this is a silly think to worry about. My problem is that it's just the way I feel, and I can't shake it. Does anyone else worry like this? And how do you deal with it?

I have a couple of full-length projects (novels) that I haven't spent much time with lately. I've got a lot of moderately stressful life situations going on, and I can't seem to focus on plot or character development. I have been writing short stuff, which is a lot of fun and (I think) is helping me understand the importance of each and every word/sentence/paragraph in the flow of a story.

I do understand what you're talking about; the last time I worked on one of my novels I wrote about five pages, and ended up scrapping all but a few paragraphs. My other one is such a mess I'm not even sure I can salvage it. *sigh*

JanDarby · Jul 16, 2006

It's always one fear or another. Fear of starting, fear of finishing. Fear of not living up to the potential of the idea. Fear of getting rejected when it's done. Fear of looking stupid. Fear of looking smart. Fear of success. Fear of failure. Fear of upsetting someone. Fear of disappointing someone. Fear of fear.

You name the fear, and you'll probably find a couple dozen writers suffering from it at any given moment. And it's not going to change significantly. I know multi-published, bestselling authors who still think their careers are a fluke, and routinely go through a period with each book when they're convinced their careers are over, and they might as well toss their keyboard into the trash. It may occur at different stages of the process for each writer, but it happens time and again.

The trick is to write anyway.

For me, lying to myself helps. I tell myself I'm just going to write for five minutes, or I'm going to write garbage that no one will ever see, or any other lie that will help me cope with whatever fear I'm currently paralyzed by. Sometimes it helps.

Just do it.

JD

Jamesaritchie · Jul 16, 2006

Celia Cyanide said:
I have a problem that's sort of a variation on traditional procrastination.

Lately I am afraid to work on my WIP. It seems to go well, and I like the story, but I'm scared to get started each day. I think I'm scared that it won't work, that I'll write more of it, and I won't like it as much as I do now.

I am aware that this is a silly think to worry about. My problem is that it's just the way I feel, and I can't shake it. Does anyone else worry like this? And how do you deal with it?

I think feeling tis way is natural. Giving in to these feelings is not.

Maybe it would help to look at it this way. What difference does it make whether it works, or whether you like it? It's the writer's job to write the book. It's always up to others to judge it.

Gillhoughly · Jul 16, 2006

Celia Cyanide said:
My problem is that it's just the way I feel, <snip> And how do you deal with it?

You feel what you feel and there's nothing wrong or silly about any feeling. :Hug2:

I know exactly what you're going through; I spent most of today procrastinating on my WIP. There were other factors, but fear is in the mix.

But I made myself sit down, look at the pages I have written, and if no new words came out, at least I tweaked things a bit and improved what was already there.

Fear and I are old compadres. Sometimes I let it win, other times I slam it down and bull past like Xena with PMS.

You may try different things to get past it, there is no one way that works for all. Experiment and see what works for you.

Retype/read aloud what you've already written to get you started
Write the work FEAR out, then stuff it in the back of the freezer or burn it or shred it or toss in a trash can.
Talk about your fear to a friend or a trained professional, a little therapy never hurt anyone!
Write about your fear in detail, have yourself a good wallow, then try option two above with the pages. It's important to get rid of them, never hang onto them.

Or do what I saw on a Buffy episode: see it for the tiny, ridiculous, ultimately impotent thing it really is, then stomp on it with contempt.

I favor the latter; it's what's worked for me!

BTW--thank you for that post. Writing THIS out has made me feel better and now I'm ready to siddown and write!

Good luck!

Simon Woodhouse · Jul 16, 2006

Jamesaritchie said:
What difference does it make whether it works, or whether you like it?

I think I'd have a real problem writing something if I didn't like it, or wasn't concerned whether it worked or not. Unless, that is, I was jumping on a bandwagon and trying to make a fast buck - Harriet Potter or Secrets of the Mona Lisa, that sort of thing.

Jenan Mac · Jul 16, 2006

I get in periods when I just can't write anything on the current Magnum Opus. I have to make myself write something else those days. Sometimes the something else is decent (that's how the short in my signature got written), sometimes it's pretty awful. Computer recycle bins are made expressly for the pretty awful stuff. I figure that even if it's awful, at least if it's written, it's out of my head.

IThinkICan29 · Jul 16, 2006

Celia Cyanide, I think we may be cosmically connected. I have the same problem at times. My issue is fear. Fear of NOT being good enough. Fear of not getting published. Fear of not selling one single book (should I get published). Fear of dangling participles...they just seem so scku-REE...

Sorry to say, the only cure for procrastination (fear) that I've found is palliative. Boy I sure wish there was a 12 step program. Anyway, all of the above suggestions for sticking to it are very effective. My only problem is, the fear never truly goes away. The little voice is always there...begging me for attention or taunting me when I chose to ignore it. Hmmm...I think I've just come up with something new to write about. Thanks for starting this thread..LOL

writeperch · Jul 16, 2006

The majority of writers go through "fear " (they may call it something different) of writing. I'm just waiting for that magic pill (er, dietary supplement), that causes me to be focused and prolific. Until then, I'll leave you with these little gems:

Delay is natural to a writer. I walk around, straightening pictures on the wall, rugs on the floor--as though not until everything in the world is lined up and perfectly true could anybody reasonable expect me to set a word down on paper. [E.B. White]

It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion. [Frank Herbert]

And this is the way a novel gets written, in ignorance, fear, sorrow, madness, and a kind of psychotic happiness as an incubator for the wonders being born. [Jack Kerouac]

Don't get it right, get it written. [James Thurber]

When asked,"How do you write ?" I invariably answer, "One word at a time." [Stephen King]

If Mom and Dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles. [Calvin (Bill Watterson) ... just seein' if you're payin' attention]

Penguin Queen · Jul 16, 2006

Writeperch, thanks for all of those!
I know it isnt, but some days it feels as tho it's just my own incapable self counting peas and polishing the underside of the fridge instead of getting writing.

...tangent: a friend of mine once spent an entire day catching flies and feeding them to a spider instead of learning for her finals. I think that's the hight of procrastination-as-an-art-form that Ive so far come across.

brianm · Jul 16, 2006

Feeling fear makes it possible to feel brave. Without it, the other doesn't exist.

Be happy you do feel fear. Remember what it feels like, write it down, and then draw on that when you have a character in the same position.

If anyone ever gets a look at the binder that has my "fear" pages in it... they'll lock me up and throw away the key...

Scrawler · Jul 16, 2006

I used to be afraid I'd never finish- I did.
I used to be afraid I'd get rejected- I did. Many times!
I used to be afraid I'd never "get it"- I have.
I used to be afraid I'd mess around on the internet, ignoring my wip and never write another word- I got rolling again.
I used to be afraid I'd never get over the fact that my "original" book sucked and I have to now rework, revise and rewrite 60% (or more) of it- I'm over it.
I used to be afraid that this wasn't my final edit and I'd have to do it again and again- so I'm allowing myself at least 3 (4?) more re-dos before I even think about printing a clean copy.
And I used to be afraid that I'd never be able to harness and document all my wonderful ideas and I'd forget something crucial and be a big fat failure and I'd get old and look back on my life and see that I'd never reached my goal and maybe I really have nothing to say anyway and who cares about me because I'll never be a writer- so I got 100 index cards and some highlighter pens...and came up with a great idea on how to rewrite chapter 13- finally!

Elizabeth Slick · Jul 16, 2006

Brianm, I'm scared now!

NeuroFizz · Jul 17, 2006

Hi, Celia

This is such a harsh business for anyone trying to break in, fear is never far away. However...

How can one know if a story sucks until it's finished?

For most inexperienced writers (like me), first drafts almost always suck, at least a little.

If one does finish that first draft and he/she still thinks it sucks, that recognition gives two avenues: fix it so it doesn't suck, or consider why it sucks and use that experience as what to avoid in future writing. Along the latter lines of experience, sometimes the most important lessons we learn are the ones that make us say, "I'll never do that again." So, if you finish off a story and find this and that don't work, you've gained valuable writing experience that can be applied to future endeavors.

If writing is a pain in the a$$, make sure you can locate your pencil.

Zolah · Jul 17, 2006

Celia:

These are the things I try when I get paralysed with 'I CAN'T DO THIS!' syndrome.

One - Tell yourself that you're not actually going to do any proper writing today, you're just going to do a trial run, and practise the scene that needs doing, so when you eventually DO write it, it will be perfect. You're not writing, you're practising.

Two - Try writing in a notebook with a pencil rather than straight onto your computer or word processor. You can scribble and scrunch up bits of paper all you like, which is very satisfying, and somehow it looks so much less like a book (and therefore less scary) than when it's on a screen.

Three - give yourself permission to write really badly today. That's right; today you're going to sit down and produce something that sucks. It doesn't matter, so long as you hit your word target.

Hope this helps, Celia!

Jamesaritchie · Jul 17, 2006

Simon Woodhouse said:
I think I'd have a real problem writing something if I didn't like it, or wasn't concerned whether it worked or not. Unless, that is, I was jumping on a bandwagon and trying to make a fast buck - Harriet Potter or Secrets of the Mona Lisa, that sort of thing.

You can be concerned, you can like or hate it, and it won't matter. You can think it works, or think it doesn't, and it won't matter.

No matter how much you like what you're writing, no matter how much you think it works, it can still go down in flames when you start submitting it. Or you can hate what you're writing, and think nothing about it works, and everyone out there will love it.

Writers who put their heart and soul into a novel can still produce unspeakable tripe. Writers who write to do nothing other than make a buck can produce masterpieces.

All a writer can really do is write, and hope what he's written is "Good Enough.

RedWombat · Jul 17, 2006

I'm an artist. Every now and then, by luck or skill or planetary conjunction, I'll do a painting that people will go crazy for. The print run sells out in an hour, ten thousand people will look at it and the inbox will fill up with notes saying "Neat!" and life is glorious.

It stays glorious right up to the point where I have to do another painting, and then the little Anxiety Creature that lives under my breastbone starts chewing on my ribcage, because I know that my next painting will not be as cool, and as many people will not like it. Success like that is rare, at least for me. Sometimes you hit something, most of the time you don't. The gnawing fear is that all the people who said "Wow!" over the last one will go "What? This isn't nearly as good as the other one, what happened?" and never ever look at my art again.

Generally I get away from this by doing something different. If the last painting was a realistic, semi-serious piece, I'll do a quick, frivolous piece of a dancing chicken or something. Then I don't worry that people are comparing the two, because I'm not comparing the two--there's no comparison! One was big and complicated, this one is little and quick and fun and silly. I change the mood completely, and then I stop worrying about it.

I don't know whether this'll work on writing, rather than art, but maybe you should try something working on another piece, and changing the tone completely. Write something light and funny and frothy, or heavy and serious and dark, or whatever. Something so that you aren't comparing the two pieces and fretting. And once you're writing again--well, there's a lot to be said for momentum.

Kristen King · Jul 17, 2006

There's fear of failure, but there's also fear of success. A lot of times, writers (and other people) sabotage themselves without realizing it because they're afraid of succeeding and then never being able to live up the the new expectations people will have for them. It seems so completely backwards, but it's real and very challenging, perhaps even worse than fear of failure (which seems so much more logical). Whatever is holding you back, the only way to work through it is to work through it. Easier said than done, I know. :]

Kristen

writeperch · Jul 17, 2006

For that reason (as stated by Kristen King) I do not envy J. K. Rowling (or other top-selling authors with a fanatic fan base). How the heck do you write the next book (or now the LAST book) with that kind of pressure? I think I would crumple up into a tiny paper ball under that situation. Ack. Though she certainly seems to have the inner strength to keep plugging along.

kojled · Jul 17, 2006

that's for wannabes only

celia cyanide

being scared (or being blocked in any manner) is for wannabes. what you need to do is outline the day's work - and analyze any problems you find in the outline. tackle these problems in an objective, direct way. fix them (in the outline). then do the day's work (realizing it will be a first draft and, as such, will be ****).

then either repeat the process the next day or go back and do a rewrite of the previous day's work (to get one step away from first draft quality).

don't worry, stall, squirm, or otherwise allow yourself to get blocked. work the problem.

z
mb

jbal · Jul 17, 2006

Yeah, I ran into this, especially when I have the time to write and no ideas to work from. Then I think "what if I can't think of any more good ideas?"
Then I realize that my other ideas weren't that great either, ha ha
and eventually something always comes.

TeddyG · Jul 17, 2006

Jamesaritchie said:
I think feeling tis way is natural. Giving in to these feelings is not.

Maybe it would help to look at it this way. What difference does it make whether it works, or whether you like it? It's the writer's job to write the book. It's always up to others to judge it.

James is so right .. so logical... so correct. No kidding. Though, I actually kind of cringe inside knowing how right he is while every cell in my body screams out BUT BUT BUT....

I cannot believe the original was posted by CC cause I am going through the exact same problem now on a short story, though I know the two reasons it came about. Both are independent of each other.

However, I empathize with CC. From the beginning I knew I had to face the demons before this short story would ever be finished. I faced one, now I have to (sigh) face the final one.

James is right. But if his advice does not work, take a deep breath, a lot of courage and face the demons. It is the only way to let those words flow again...

Scared Of Writing

Joker Groupie

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A flowering bud of bitchiness

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Break the rules.

Brian Boru

Bored fanatic

The grad students did it

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The Other Shoe Will Fall!