This bugs me. I'm trying to indicate that my protagonist is meeting someone who is wearing a nametag that shows her name, but I cannot figure out the wording. Something like "She wore a nametag that gave her name as Miss Snark." But I don't like that and can't figure out how to make it sound better. The book is in 1st person if that matters.
Question about a frustrating phrase I'm having problems with.
- Thread starter DeadlyAccurate
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Here are some possibilities:DeadlyAccurate said:
Her name tag said Miss Snark.
She wore a name tag: Miss Snark, it said.
I read her name tag, "Miss Snark."
I'm with CaroGirl. The first thing that came to mind was "Her nametag said Miss Snark."
First person, you say?
I checked her nametag. "Miss Snark." The name suited her, given the stiletto heels, the aroma of gin, and the tam-sporting poodle glaring at me from the vicinity of her knees.
First person, you say?
I checked her nametag. "Miss Snark." The name suited her, given the stiletto heels, the aroma of gin, and the tam-sporting poodle glaring at me from the vicinity of her knees.
Great advice, everyone. Thank you. You'd think something so simple wouldn't cause me so much grief.
Chalk up another vote for the short, declarative approach.
I glanced at her nametag: "Miss Snark." (or, try a period instead of the colon)
I glanced at her nametag: "Miss Snark." (or, try a period instead of the colon)
IMHO...I believe that name tags do not 'talk, speak, or say' anything. I do believe that they are 'read'. Try that with the suggestions the others have given you.
I disagree. When we read things that are written, we often write that they "say" something. Such as, "What did the letter say? Read it to me." "The note said I should meet him at the park."CACTUSWENDY said:
Works the same for writing on a name tag, imo.
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From dictionary.com (I know it's not the American Heritage or Webster's, but it does the trick, once in a while, and it's already typed).
- To utter aloud; pronounce: The children said, “Good morning.”
- To express in words: Say what's on your mind.
- To state as one's opinion or judgment; declare: I say let's eat out.
- To state as a determination of fact: It's hard to say who is right in this matter.
- To repeat or recite: said grace.
- To report or maintain; allege.
- To indicate; show: The clock says half past two.
- To give nonverbal expression to; signify or embody: It was an act that said “devotion.”
- To suppose; assume: Let's say that you're right.
- "Her nametag read 'Jane'. She looked more like a Rita."
- "Her engraved, shirt-mounted 'welcome' sign said, 'Jane,' but she looked more 'plain' than 'Jane.'"
- "A nametag read 'Jane.' I discovered later she was Jessica Simpson."
I squinted at her nametag, but on the upward slope of her breast, the slick surface caught the reflection of the fluorescent lights. I got all but the last letter of her name, but my stare remained on her chest. "Ms. Snarf?" I felt the heat of a blush.
"It's Snark." She tilted forward and covered the lower part of her breast with her hand. (put in any action that will convey her emotion...)
"It's Snark." She tilted forward and covered the lower part of her breast with her hand. (put in any action that will convey her emotion...)
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Can you tell I have breasts on my mind today? I've been writing about physical oceanography so long, I need a little fleshy diversion.
Pinned to the lapel of her prim grey suit jacket was a nametag which read, "Miss Snark."
This is a fun game! Ask more questions like this. It's fun to read everyone's version and come up with your own.
This is a fun game! Ask more questions like this. It's fun to read everyone's version and come up with your own.
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Go with the simple or -
I wondered if the bold capital letters "MISS SNARK" on her name tag spoke to a brash personality.
or something along those lines. Could be scrawl that was difficult to rtead or lofty, swirling letters or whatever.
I wondered if the bold capital letters "MISS SNARK" on her name tag spoke to a brash personality.
or something along those lines. Could be scrawl that was difficult to rtead or lofty, swirling letters or whatever.
NeuroFizz said:
That would definitely take the story of my straight female protagonist in a whole new direction.
I love seeing all these different versions for the same phrase.
Jacob slipped into the room, from the side, pretending to be suaver than what came naturally. He should know these people, they all knew each other. A breath-taking bruinette, standing alone by the punch bowl, played with her glass while absently swirling her drink.
He glanced at her name tag, forcing himself to look away from her bossom, he failed, puberty had been generous, or the surgeon, he couldn't tell from this distance.
"Can I help you?" Her voice was smooth as silk and slid through him as his throat dried. He would kill for a drink.
The name tag focused through his blurring vision, "Miss Snark, you're looking stunning tonight."
It was a stab. Oops, I just noticed you have a female protagonist. 
He glanced at her name tag, forcing himself to look away from her bossom, he failed, puberty had been generous, or the surgeon, he couldn't tell from this distance.
"Can I help you?" Her voice was smooth as silk and slid through him as his throat dried. He would kill for a drink.
The name tag focused through his blurring vision, "Miss Snark, you're looking stunning tonight."
It was a stab. Oops, I just noticed you have a female protagonist. 
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All I could think as I approached her was, "please don't be Miss Snark, please don't be Miss Snark, please don't...". I looked at her name tag when I got close enough. Damn it. Just my luck. Miss freakin' Snark all right.
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A tall woman in a navy blazer stepped up to me with a smile and held out her hand. "Welcome. I'm Doreen, but everyone calls me Daisy. Is this your first meeting with our group?"
"Yes, it is, uh, Dazeen, I mean Dory, uh..." I glanced at her name tag. Miss– Miss Snark? With a name like that, she had to be gracious.
"Yes, it is, uh, Dazeen, I mean Dory, uh..." I glanced at her name tag. Miss– Miss Snark? With a name like that, she had to be gracious.
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Her name tag suddenly exploded. The letters shot into the air, but they came down gracefully, spelling: M I S S S N A R K
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Sorry, just being a dork.
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Sorry, just being a dork.
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