Conflict

Hard to tell without reading it. Cheer up, though. If your readers want stuff livened up it means that you have something that craves livening up.

Does it help...

to think more in terms of a problem, a very real and immediate problem, that your main character must solve? The word conflict does sound like a major war doesn't it?

Perhaps...

you need to focus on one of the two women as the main character and tell the story from her point of view?

Sounds like you have two stories here.

Each woman - from what you say - has a problem that needs solving. Try choosing one character and one problem and solve it.

blisswriter said:

The dominant friend doesn't have a clue that her overbearing personality is a problem, so that issue is never resolved. If she doesn't see it as a problem, is it a conflict?

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Generally speaking, this answer is no. The stakes have to be high enough to affect both characters in some way so that they each have a change at the end. I'm over-generalizing but a conflict usually involves two people, two ideas, or one character and an event. (i.e. A person running from a burning building but locked inside a room)

BUT (big but) like Mlle. Nancy said, it sounds like it could be workable. There seems to be some attempt at conflict. But without any reaction from the protagonist (the shy girl), whether that she blows up at the antagonist (the friend) or is further beaten down, the story has no arc and thus no resolution. BUT (another BIG but ) I've read stories before that don't have a strong conflict and they're written really well. But, as a reader, I prefer some kind of conflict in a story to make me want to keep going and see what happens.

Conflict is the engine to the story. Without one, it's just a bunch of descriptions.

Another suggestion, why not post it on Share Your Work and have some of us look at it? We wont bite. I promise.

Picking up on the end of this, I think what they are saying is that your shy girl needs something to drive her to that end. Does she have something she wants to say but is afraid of how her friend will react. Does she have a work issue she knows she can resolve but that would be stepping on toes? When we see her biting her lip and dying to spit it out but continues to hold it back until she's ready to blow because she knows that her friend is dead wrong... you get conflict without a gun battle or ninjas swarming the place. I'm just guessing here but that might be what they mean.

PDR re conflict: "think more in terms of a problem, a very real and immediate problem, that your main character must solve". These sound like words to live by.

I'm really bad at setting my characters up with a problem strong enough to carry a story, especially now that I've gotten into sci fi. I sit down with a great (well, that's my opinion) science idea. I dream up a character or three. I might even start writing. But where's the conflict?

PDR's right. My first question needs to be - What's the problem? And the probelm can't have a weaslingly easy answer. As I'm typing this I'm thinking it through. A good problem would set up my characters for the character development/growth that editors (dream on, I get as far as the slush readers, poor guys) demand.

So thinking this through. If we're outliners, before we start we need:

1. Characters
2. A heavy problem for said characters - ie conflict. What prevents them from achieving their goals? (sounds like counselling, hmm?)
3. Setting - inc. science idea for sci fi, etc
4. Awareness of constraints if writing for particular market - word limit, no elves, whatever
5. anything else?

Why, thank you for those kind words.

I think you've covered most everything.

I had terrible problems as a baby beginner because conflict meant major wars. It wasn't until I looked at giving my character a problem that everything fell into place.

The other thing to watch is to stop being nice to the characters you love. You have to give them hell to get a good story and I still find that hard to do!

Yeah, I've come across that advice about being too nice. I'm trying to heed it, but it's not fair. I dream up some gorgeous person. They're smart, funny, brave (a tad overdrawn) and then I have to be mean to them! Hey, they're my friend.

I think "Girls' Night Out" worked very well, the oppressed being subversive with an action that will cause her oppressor social embarrassment. Very traditional, if you ask me. And it's a funny story.

Consider, also, if you want the character to change in any way due to the conflict. Whether the change is positive, negative, or non-existent can affect the tone of the story.

Jenny said:

Yeah, I've come across that advice about being too nice. I'm trying to heed it, but it's not fair. I dream up some gorgeous person. They're smart, funny, brave (a tad overdrawn) and then I have to be mean to them! Hey, they're my friend.

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Ah, yes... I created a character that was everything I find fine, noble and hot in a man and then I had to let him die. Avoided writing that part for weeks. I still cry when I read it.

This conversation on subtle confilct makes me think of Phillipa Gregory's The Little House. The conflict was there, but it was continually being explained away by others so that you found yourself half agreeing with them. The subtly of it made for an excellent read.