Ronda said:
The blackmail for marriage bit - perhaps something from the culture of your world will give you a clue there. Is there a social condition under which a couple must marry? Is there a festival at which if a couple has sex they must marry? Something like that.
Well, it's a science fantasy setting, so I could make up something like that. It's important to me that it not seemed cheesy or contrived though. One of the book's themes is fertility/infertility as connected with creativity/magic, so if I were going to create a cultural requirement for marriage it would have to have something to do with that.
In Lieann's case I think his motive is well enough accounted for by the facts that he's lonely and he doesn't get along with his current clan leader, his brother, because his brother hates being stuck with the embarrassment and political disadvantage of having Lieann around. So the question is what cultural elements would Lieann choose to use in an attempt to force someone to marry him?
In Ravennin's case, he's very in tune with tradition, so he would automatically try to follow whatever the traditional path to starting a new clan is. I was vaguely thinking some sort of team competition where the winning team gets a clan territory and/or some sort of official recognition, but I haven't been able to figure out how that would make any sense economically. The fact that Ravennin can't just easily start a new clan implies that there must be some rare item which limits the creation of new clans. This item could be a territory for a clan to live on, or permission/recognition from a controlling governmental force.
But if there's a shortage of territory, that would promote lots of wars/assasinations/coups over territory, which I don't want. If there's a shortage of permission, why is there a shortage and how come people can't just do without the permission? Also it's important that the permission can't be withdrawn once it has been given, otherwise the ending of finally achieving it wouldn't feel safe and satisfactory.
Another option is that some magical resource could be necessary to start a new clan. But this option creates the same questions about why it's necessary and why it's rare; and again, I want to avoid anything that seems cheesy, contrived, or foozle-ish.
Your strategic genius will meticulously set the plan in motion even if it takes months, so Lieann will choose the target, make a detailed plan, and set about making it happen.
Yeah that's what I want him to do, come up with a big complicated visionary plan involving Ravennin, patiently work on carrying it out, succeed at some parts, then feel betrayed and frustrated when at the key moment Ravennin won't cooperate, so Lieann has to start almost from scratch. I want that to be the division between Act 1 and Act 2 of the story.
Your wanna-be clan leader - here are some possibilities:
1. He could have delusions. He could be the kind of person who hungers for power but has no skills. I have a character like that, and he's fun to write for. Even though I want to slap him around and later kill him slowly.
No skills definitely does describe Ravennin. Or, no useful skills - he's a champion hunter, but who cares? He is both shy and grumpy, and thus terrible at making friends and being diplomatic. He is not terribly intelligent, that's why he needs Lieann to do his brain-work for him. He has poor self-esteem because his father always tells him he's worthless and dangerous. He is afraid of public criticism and desperately wants public admiration, so he tries to win that admiration by following the most traditional paths and acting with perfect self-control and honor.
But he has some good points too. He has a very strong desire to love and protect his family members. He loves his older brother and sister, wants to love his father even though the man verbally abuses him, and yearns to have a mate and children to love. Because he would love his followers (if he had any) and would sacrifice his life for them or (he's a natural dominant) quickly make decisions and take actions to protect them, he would be a good leader if he could ever relax, have confidence in himself, and trust his instincts.
I really like him as a character, I have no impulse to slap him around or anything, I mostly feel sorry for him and frustrated that I can't figure out how he would be trying to reach his goal of becoming a clan leader while he's trying to be all traditional and rigidly self-controlled. In order for the other characters to help him think outside the box later, there has to be a box for him to be trapped in at the beginning, and some epiphany which makes him realize he's not getting anywhere.
When I am no longer celebrating finishing the first draft of my novel & start editing, I'm sure I'll have plenty to tell the story/characters off about.
