Shall I kill my little darlings?

Carrie Ann Eggert · Mar 8, 2006

No...not my children. My words. I'm having a hard time getting those last 45 words gone in order to meet Spider's word count and I just can't. It's killing me. I'm afraid I'm ripping to story to shreds if I do it. I've already trimmed it down from 1,160 words.

I just feel I can't possibly trim it anymore without losing something.

Any options? Opinions? (Which I value greatly by the way!)

Is a query in order? Should I just expand it again and try sending it out as a book instead?

My poetry for kids seems to be in trouble too. Seems they all want 20 lines instead of 28.

No way am I trimming those.

Carrie

September skies · Mar 8, 2006

I am always surprised as to how many extra words people put into sentences. I was taught to go through my story and take out all the extra words - and when I first started with the newspaper, I didn't always see it -- eventually, I could pick up any written piece and almost instantly shave words off.

I haven't seen your piece, but I bet it's easier than you think -- especially if all you need to remove are 45 words.

Can you post a couple of paragraphs in Share Your Work and let us suggest some trimming? Or, maybe you can rephrase a sentence here and there to keep it simpler?

Again, hard to help without seeing it.

Sage · Mar 8, 2006

Words that I often (but not always) find can be removed without changing the meaning:

That?
Up? ("He hurried up to catch his sister," or "He hurried to catch up to his sister," instead of "He hurried to catch his sister."
Out? ("He reached out for the..." instead of "He reached for the...")
Very?
Just?

Any adverbs or adjectives that can be removed & that won't be missed?

And dialogue tags that are unnecessary?

I'm sure you've done all these things, but just in case, I'm making the suggestions.

Jamesaritchie · Mar 8, 2006

Cutting

Send it to Spider. If the editor likes the story, she'll make the cut for you, and it won't take more than about thirty seconds.

Carrie Ann Eggert · Mar 9, 2006

Thanks!

I worked at it all night (til 1 in the morning!) and managed to bring it down to a startling 992 words! It looks as good as it will probably get and I'm sending it out today to Spider.

Everyone's advice and encouragement means so much to me and was extremely helpful.

Thanks again!

Carrie

majiklmoon · Mar 9, 2006

good luck Carrie. Let us know what happens!

Carrie Ann Eggert · Mar 16, 2006

Thanks!

I'll let everyone know what went on with this!

Carrie

Shall I kill my little darlings?

Carrie Ann Eggert

September skies

cloud watching

Sage

Our Lady of Parentheticals

Jamesaritchie

Carrie Ann Eggert

majiklmoon

Carrie Ann Eggert