Love my kids...

Branwyn · Feb 24, 2006

More than life itself...but I really understand now why writers have a cabin in the woods where nobody can find them.

It is tough to write with 'people' around. You get in a groove and then..tap, tap,
MOM!!!!!

ugh! :rant:

crosseyed reader · Feb 24, 2006

What's scary is that it doesn't go away with age. Only difference is the pitch of their voice. Ah, Hemingway, take me awayyyy...

Branwyn · Feb 24, 2006

Yes, I know, I have a 21 yr old and a 13 yr old!

L.Jones · Feb 24, 2006

Teach them young

My kids have never not known that when Mom is at the typewriter (yes I started on a portable electric in 1989 at a card table in the living room and those kids were in diapers) or word processor (toddlers, moved to kitchen table by then) or computer (living room, master bedroom finally home office) only the brave dare approach and if those brave are not bleeding, convulsing or on fire, they will be EATEN (I don't believe in beatings)

Just today my son came home from college, came to the door of my office (didn't always have an office, but I always had boundaries) put both hands on either side of the doorframe with his huge feet in the hallway and leaned in just enough to poke his nose in the door and said "hi". No one but my dogs cross the threshold uninvited. No one speaks to me when I am at the computer until I say okay (they stand and wait for the go ahead) and that has been the case since they were small.

Of course I get the most writing done when they are GONE even to this day. Two hours of solitude is like 10 hours with all these people around doing annoying things like breathing.

annie
Luanne Jones
Heathen Girls (MIRA - avail. now)

StoryG27 · Feb 24, 2006

Ok, I must be weird because I work better in the midst of chaos. I'm fine with a kid interrupting every five minutes, fine with the dog needing to go outside, fine with the fire alarm going off after I put the chicken in the oven to bake for just a few more minutes and then forgot about it. When the kids went to school, I really had to re-train myself to write in complete silence without interruptions. Very strange indeed.

The only thing that really bothers me, and it's not that it stops or halts my writing, it just aggravates me, and that is the phone ringing. Of course, that could be because I absolutely hate talking on the phone.

Saanen · Feb 24, 2006

storygirl said:
I absolutely hate talking on the phone.

Oh, I do too! Not only is it an annoyance, but it's rude as well. Think about it--if the phone rings, you drop everything to answer it. And if the other line rings while you're on the phone (I'm thinking of work here, of course), you put the first caller on hold to answer the second caller.

Anyway, I don't mind noise and distractions around when I'm writing, as long as I'm not required to actually stop and deal with anything. I love to write in coffee shops. No matter how noisy and crowded it is, I get so much done. I sort of tune all the noise out and can concentrate beautifully knowing that no one's going to pester me.

And I don't even have kids!

StoryG27 · Feb 24, 2006

Saanen said:
And I don't even have kids!

Your avatar suggests otherwise.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 24, 2006

Kids

My kids, too, have been trained from birth to never, ever interrupt when I'm writing, unless there's a fire, and the flames are nearing my office, or there's not just blood, but arterial blood, or Reba is at the door asking for me with a really passionate look in her eyes. I had such a sign on my office door for years.

I think the most valuable thing any writer can have is an office with a door on it, and the willingness to close the door, lock that door, and forbid knocking unless a true emergency takes place..

I love solitude, and going off to the cabin is something I love to do, but it isn't because of the kids or my wife. They know better than to bother me.

It's all else I want to get away from. It's the phone, the internet, the TV, the vacuum cleaner, friends, the insurance guy, the bills that come in, the checks that have to be written, anything and everything that puts a ripple in the quiet pond I'm looking for.

And going away also means you don't have to feel guilty about shutting out friends and family for a time, and friends and family do not have to feel guilty about interrupting you.

Branwyn · Feb 24, 2006

Jamesaritchie said:
My kids, too, have been trained from birth to never, ever interrupt when I'm writing, unless there's a fire, and the flames are nearing my office, or there's not just blood, but arterial blood, or Reba is at the door asking for me with a really passionate look in her eyes. I had such a sign on my office door for years.

I think the most valuable thing any writer can have is an office with a door on it, and the willingness to close the door, lock that door, and forbid knocking unless a true emergency takes place..

I love solitude, and going off to the cabin is something I love to do, but it isn't because of the kids or my wife. They know better than to bother me.

It's all else I want to get away from. It's the phone, the internet, the TV, the vacuum cleaner, friends, the insurance guy, the bills that come in, the checks that have to be written, anything and everything that puts a ripple in the quiet pond I'm looking for.

And going away also means you don't have to feel guilty about shutting out friends and family for a time, and friends and family do not have to feel guilty about interrupting you.

That's it. I feel guilty. My son also knows how to press the guilt button. He is a master at it.
It's just when you get in that 'zone', that can be so elusive at times... and then poof-- it's gone. I guess I feel it more because school's out this week.
I still wouldn't mind the cabin, though.

I agree about the phone too, I get very irritated with that. At night it's so peaceful and quiet. No phone--no knocks-- but so tired...

maestrowork · Feb 24, 2006

I just went to a gallery and there was this couple with their young kids. OMG. Talk about rumbustious. I can't imagine what it's like to be working at home with these critters around, all day. Adorable kids, though. Just too much energy.

Shadow_Ferret · Feb 24, 2006

Oh to train my kids. The older one is fine. The younger one is a pistol, a real ball of fire and all I hear is "Dad! Dad! Dad!"

He likes me to hold him. All the time. He holds out his hands and goes "Up." Well, one day I was angry and said, "Up you." And his response was "No, up you!" So that's our little game now.

Anyway. I don't write when the FAMILY is up. Kids? Hell, I can't even train my wife not to disturb me.

Branwyn · Feb 24, 2006

maestrowork said:
I just went to a galley and there was this couple with their young kids. OMG. Talk about rumbustious. I can't imagine what it's like to be working at home with these critters around, all day. Adorable kids, though. Just too much energy.

Like energizer bunnies... :snoopy:

or Snoopies :snoopy:

Albedo of Zero · Feb 24, 2006

I take the doorknob off the door to my writing room...but then again, I didn't seriously start writing until my youngest had her driving license.

roach · Feb 24, 2006

I'm an MTV generation person so I have no problem writing with distraction around. Even when I have solitude I'll write for five minutes, surf for five minutes, write for another ten or so, check my e-mail, delete the spam, write for another five minutes, and repeat the cycle.

What I have a hard time dealing with is the guilt of writing when Charlotte is up and about. She's gotten to the age when she can entertain herself for fifteen minutes at a time with a puzzle or a toy, but I always have this nagging feeling that I'm somehow neglecting her. Which is why I try to do all my writing between the hours of 10 pm and 2 am. That gives me 8 - 10 in the evening to spend with my husband and still plenty of time to get some writing done. I don't know how long this schedule can last (I get to sleep in right now because my sister is around to watch Charlotte in the morning) but I'm going to get as much writing done as I can while I can.

Monet · Feb 25, 2006

I am very fortunate to live in a house 'cabin' in the Maine woods, :wag:

with the loves of my life.

Sorry, couldn't resist!

If I need inspiration, all I need to do is look outside my office window!

But true, you do need to set boundries. (for kids and love of my life) Mine is don't interrupt until I look up and take notice. (unless of course you are bringing a hug or a fresh pot of hot tea! :e2arms:

)

My constant interruption that I can't ignore is our two cats who think they need to lay on the keyboard when I take a moment to look over my notes, or if I am on the keyboard, they are laying on my notes so I can't read them! :e2cat:

However, they get the message after a while and and snuggle on the chair under the window after I 'interrupt' their sleep on my notes/keyboard a few times.

aadams73 · Feb 25, 2006

Aww hell, just slip them a few sleeping pills.

(just kidding)

PastMidnight · Feb 25, 2006

I have a very well-behaved toddler, but I have no idea how I would teach her to not interrupt me while writing. She is a toddler, after all!

I do get brief bits of time to write while she's playing by herself, but I can't ask that of her that often. Next week she's starting nursery a couple of days a week. I'm looking forward to that even more than she is!!!

Niesta · Feb 25, 2006

I've been having to work around my toddler ever since he stopped napping last October (that's how traumatic it was! I remember the month!). Basically, I've learned to write in 10-15 minute bits. It's true that you don't get in the "zone", but there are a lot of things you can do in a short time.

I still need longer stretches, too. Fortunately, he goes to bed at 8.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 25, 2006

Writing

roach said:
I'm an MTV generation person so I have no problem writing with distraction around. Even when I have solitude I'll write for five minutes, surf for five minutes, write for another ten or so, check my e-mail, delete the spam, write for another five minutes, and repeat the cycle.

What I have a hard time dealing with is the guilt of writing when Charlotte is up and about. She's gotten to the age when she can entertain herself for fifteen minutes at a time with a puzzle or a toy, but I always have this nagging feeling that I'm somehow neglecting her. Which is why I try to do all my writing between the hours of 10 pm and 2 am. That gives me 8 - 10 in the evening to spend with my husband and still plenty of time to get some writing done. I don't know how long this schedule can last (I get to sleep in right now because my sister is around to watch Charlotte in the morning) but I'm going to get as much writing done as I can while I can.

I don't have a problem writing with distraction around, either. I could write in the middle of Times Square on a busy Friday evening. I've simply found it's best not to. If you're writing for five minutes, and then doing something else for five minutes, my opinion is that you're only writing half as much as you could be or should be, and definitely aren't concentrating for long enough periods on one thing. Believe me, at the end of a year, it can be real scary to look back and count the hours you could have been writing, but weren't. Never mind when you look back at the end of twenty years.

You can't check your e-mail and delete spam if your computer has no e-mail on it, and has no internet connection. Isolation and solitude are mostly about time. Even if you're all alone, it isn't solitude if you're constantly on the internet, checking e-mail, etc., and you aren't gaining any time if you're running outside to do this and that, rather than writing.

For me, at least, solitude and isolation aren't because I can't work with distractions around, I can, they're to get me far more time to work and think. Long stretches of hours where I'm free to concentrate on one thng, and one thing only, where I don't catch myself writing for five minutes, then doing something else for five minutes..

Cheryll · Feb 25, 2006

Baywitch: Since your youngest is a teenager, that's more than old enough to set some boundaries for Mom's "writing time".

Just enforce it like you would working hours away from the home. Mom's "working" - Please don't disturb.

Cheryll

kristie911 · Feb 25, 2006

I rarely write at home when everyone is awake. I work third shift and hubby works first so once my son is in bed and hubby is in bed, I write. However, I also write at work and don't mind the interruptions...after all, they actually ARE emergencies! I've gotten used to it.

Though it does creep out my co-workers (both guys) when I'm answering the phone and writing at the same time because one of them peeked over my shoulder once and saw I was writing a sex scene...and I was on the phone with a woman whose house was on fire. When I hung up I just went back to writing while my partner dispatched the fire department. All in a day's work...

Branwyn · Feb 25, 2006

Monet said:
I am very fortunate to live in a house 'cabin' in the Maine woods, with the loves of my life.

Sorry, couldn't resist!

If I need inspiration, all I need to do is look outside my office window!

But true, you do need to set boundries. (for kids and love of my life) Mine is don't interrupt until I look up and take notice. (unless of course you are bringing a hug or a fresh pot of hot tea! )

My constant interruption that I can't ignore is our two cats who think they need to lay on the keyboard when I take a moment to look over my notes, or if I am on the keyboard, they are laying on my notes so I can't read them! However, they get the message after a while and and snuggle on the chair under the window after I 'interrupt' their sleep on my notes/keyboard a few times.

I live in my dream house as well, on the water :e2drown:

...the gorgeous sunsets are very inspiring.
To have a block of time just for me...ahh nirvana!

roach · Feb 25, 2006

Jamesaritchie said:
I don't have a problem writing with distraction around, either. I could write in the middle of Times Square on a busy Friday evening. I've simply found it's best not to. If you're writing for five minutes, and then doing something else for five minutes, my opinion is that you're only writing half as much as you could be or should be, and definitely aren't concentrating for long enough periods on one thing. Believe me, at the end of a year, it can be real scary to look back and count the hours you could have been writing, but weren't. Never mind when you look back at the end of twenty years.

Well in the past two months I've managed over 60,000 words (58,000 on my novel and several thousand on various short stories) so I don't feel that I'm falling short in the output department.

I'm a big believer that what works for one person might not work for another. The key is finding what works for you and then either working the rest of your life around it or working it around the rest of your life.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 25, 2006

roach said:
Well in the past two months I've managed over 60,000 words (58,000 on my novel and several thousand on various short stories) so I don't feel that I'm falling short in the output department.

I'm a big believer that what works for one person might not work for another. The key is finding what works for you and then either working the rest of your life around it or working it around the rest of your life.

So am I. But the proof isn't in the word count. I can write 100,000 words in considerably under a month, even with all sorts of distractions. It's what happens to those words after you've written them that matters. If they're good, and if they're published, you're doing it right. If they aren't good, and don't get published, you're doing it wrong. If word count alone mattered, some of the worst writers I've ever read would also be world famous.

And time lost is time lost, no matter what works for you.

And how often do you encounter anyone who says what they're doing doesn't work for them? Even with all evidence to the contrary?

We should all do what works best for us, but the key word here is "works," and "works" seldom has much to do with word count. And as I said, time lost is time lost for all of us.

KimJo · Feb 26, 2006

My two daughters (ages 10 and 7), my husband, and I share a three-bedroom house with my husband's parents. It's crowded at best and there's no place for me to have an office (though it's a dream of mine...) The desktop computer is in my husband's and my bedroom, which my daughters treat like a living room because it's where our family's TV is as well. However, my daughters figured out a year and a half ago, when I got back to writing seriously after an eleven-year hiatus, that if Mom is typing or there are just words on the computer screen, they shouldn't interrupt unless it's vitally important. (We had a little talk at one point about what constitutes vitally important; if the kitten is trying to play with the fish, it isn't, but if the kitten falls into the fish tank, it is.) My husband, however, hasn't grasped it yet; he'll sit on the bed staring at the TV for an hour or more without saying a word when I'm just surfing the web or doing research, but as soon as I start typing, he starts talking. If I stop typing to listen to him, he finishes what he's saying and returns to silence until I start typing again. I've learned to tune him out most of the time, which aggravates him, but on the other hand, I don't sit there rambling about nothing when he's trying to drive a dump truck.

Love my kids...

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