Terrible Jobs

badducky · Feb 20, 2006

If you have a terrible, demeaning day job, please come up with some fantasy or sci-fi equivalent so us writers can utilize them for our own projects about demoralized schmoes.

Like me. By day, evil salesmen. (Rimbaud sold guns, Jay-Z sold drugs, I sell something totally legal, but just barely...) An equivalent position in the fantasy world might be "Fertilizer Salesmen" or "Slightly Used Armor Sales".

Anybody else?

Cathy C · Feb 20, 2006

You need to watch a show called "Dirty Jobs" on the Discovery Channel, or visit the Discovery Channel website to view some clips. The host goes around the country finding the strangest, smelliest, most horrible jobs you can imagine and then does that job for a full day!

So far, he's been a:

Sewer Inspector (when the lines are clogged... ick!)
Cow poo collector and sorter (for feed mill food formulation and it has to be FRESH, before it hits the ground!)
Owl puke disecter (biological study)
Bird waste remover (at an aviary)
Emergency clean-up crew (sewer eruptions, floods, dead bodies that festered and soaked into the floor before found)
Exterminator
Etc.
Etc.

You get the idea. There's some weird jobs out there that people do every day. You'll get LOTS of ideas there! Good luck!

Elincoln · Feb 20, 2006

Dungeon Housekeeper. Seriously, I have a character whose only duties are to clean out a Witch's chamber of torture and to cleanup after "rituals" that are very messy.

She also has a wickedly dry humor as well which lightens up the situation.

Pthom · Feb 20, 2006

Often, in science fiction, menial and disgusting jobs are handled by "automation" (robots, other machines). I don't buy it. Ensuring enough machines to perform necessary tasks will always be prohibitively expensive. Robotic proctologists? Even if we come to see Larry Niven's 'autodoc' or Stargate SG-1's sarcogophi, having enough of them for the general populace is unrealistic. People just make babies faster than they can make money to support them.

But let's suppose there ARE machines to perform cow-poo analysis and owl puke dissecting...let's further suppose that such machines are ubiquitous. So much so that they handle their own maintenance. Now, throw in a natural disaster, such as hurricane Katrina or Mt. Pinatubo, or the tsunami that wiped out half of Indonesia.

Write about the gal who's job it is to go fix the machinery. My guess is that she and her co-workers are overwhelmed with work. Is she held in high esteem? Do people still have Makita drill motors? Do high school kids still take apart the household controller so as to "hop it up?" Fun to think about, but my guess is that there'll always be the need for a warm body to go under the house to clear a clogged toilet.

PenDragon · Feb 20, 2006

There was good show on UK TV about historical worst jobs, here a few Worst Jobs

Pike · Feb 20, 2006

Mine's already been done. I'm a simple facilities maintenance tech at a retirement community. My glorified job and duties hit the small screen on a great episode of Babylon 5, when two lowly techs wandered the ship amidst the chaos that the key staff dealt with. It brought a tear to my eye.

Sage · Feb 20, 2006

Pike said:
Mine's already been done. I'm a simple facilities maintenance tech at a retirement community. My glorified job and duties hit the small screen on a great episode of Babylon 5, when two lowly techs wandered the ship amidst the chaos that the key staff dealt with. It brought a tear to my eye.

That was an awesome ep.

What's the fantasy equivalent of a call center? 'Cuz being customer support just plain sucks, no matter what 'verse or time-period you're in. Doubly so if it's in the insurance business.

Cathy C · Feb 20, 2006

Spaceport attendant? Fill up the anti-matter tanks, polish off the meteor dust and rotate the photon cells--all in zero G? Man, that would be mind numbing after a few days.

Elincoln · Feb 20, 2006

Sage said:
That was an awesome ep.

What's the fantasy equivalent of a call center? 'Cuz being customer support just plain sucks, no matter what 'verse or time-period you're in. Doubly so if it's in the insurance business.

The manager of the wishing faery community?

Cathy C · Feb 20, 2006

Ooo! Even better -- Wishing WELL toll attendant!

"Okay, Bob threw in a quarter for a date for the prom. Red stamp this request and get it over to fulfillment ASAP."

"Little Susie doesn't think much of her wish for a pony, does she? A penny? Sheesh! Just File 13 that request. Her parents couldn't afford one anyway."

:ROFL:

roach · Feb 20, 2006

Any kind of service job. Waiting tables, counter sales, janitorial, etc. It's not so much a matter of the job being terrible, but the customers you have to deal with.

Pig farmer.

Woodsman (someone's gotta go into the enchanted forest to feed the village's addiction to firewood).

Magical creature veterinarian. (Who gets to deal with the puking dragon in #2?)

Space ship repairs. (Make sure you're tethered out there, Bob.)

Sage · Feb 20, 2006

My roommate suggests any job having to do with the stock market. "All those adventurers would keep coming back with treasure & lowering the value of the stocks. You'd have to send out adventurers to kill the adventurers before they returned with the treasures."

Lyra Jean · Feb 20, 2006

There will always be the snake-oil salesmen. Especially if you discovering new worlds in sci-fi or fearie lands and different cultures in fantasy. There's a sucker born every minute P.T. Barnum said. Con-artists.

MattW · Feb 25, 2006

I'd be standing over the alchemist with an hourglass in one hand, and a clipboard in the other.

Sage · Feb 25, 2006

Of course, any job can become more annoying if you have problems with your coworkers....

badducky · Mar 2, 2006

I just wanted to give a shout out to the person who alerted me to Fullers.

I just replaced a large section of shepherds and fishermen with a group of fullers.

It's much better, and closer to the larger themes of my book. Specifically the larger theme of dancing in urine.
Next time I meet a Mr or Mrs Fuller, I'll be sure to tell them about the origin of their name.

brokenfingers · Mar 2, 2006

In GRRM's series he has one character who collected and sold leeches for a living. He'd go into the water and stay there until enough leeches collected on his body. Come out, put them in a bucket and then go back in. All day. Every day. To be able to eat etc.

ChaosTitan · Mar 2, 2006

brokenfingers said:
In GRRM's series he has one character who collected and sold leeches for a living. He'd go into the water and stay there until enough leeches collected on his body. Come out, put them in a bucket and then go back in. All day. Every day. To be able to eat etc.

TheIT · Mar 2, 2006

Take a look at the Worst Jobs in History program that someone mentioned with regard to the leeches. That's true. They had the host try it.

I highly recommend this series, by the way. It certainly puts into perspective how times have changed.

One of the other Worst Jobs was squire to a knight. One of the squire's duties was to clean the knight's armor after the battle. Aside from cleaning off the blood and dirt, the knights didn't have time for bathroom breaks during a battle. Yeccchh!

eldragon · Mar 2, 2006

Pig farmer.

That's a good job. I used to help a friend raise pigs, and the only problem was, I became attached to the doomed critters.

You get used to the smell.

Horrible jobs?
Telephone solicitor.
Dishwasher.
Maid.
The guy who walks behind the elephant holding the shovel.
Housekeeping or nurse's aids in nursing homes.
Janitor, anywhere.
Laborer, anywhere.
Highway street sign holder.
Walmart "associate."

waylander · Mar 2, 2006

badducky said:
Next time I meet a Mr or Mrs Fuller, I'll be sure to tell them about the origin of their name.

There is a large London-based brewery by the name of Fullers

Serenity · Mar 2, 2006

I work with 80 children on a daily basis. 'nuff said.

Terrible Jobs

No Time For Chitchat, Kemosabe.

Ooo! Shiny new cover!

Official Daydreamer of AW

Word butcher

Dragon with a Pen

Chivalry ain't dead

Our Lady of Parentheticals

Ooo! Shiny new cover!

Official Daydreamer of AW

Ooo! Shiny new cover!

annoyed and annoying

Our Lady of Parentheticals

Two years old now.

Company Man

Our Lady of Parentheticals

No Time For Chitchat, Kemosabe.

Walkin' That Road

Around

Infuriatingly Theoretical

in a van down by the river

Who's going for a beer?

NCIS...