What the hell?

People are weird. Often when I'm asked what I'm writing about and I give a brief synopsis, people ask, "Where'd you learn about that?"

If I tried to write something that was specific to my job, it would probably go something like:

"Have you seen Mike today?"

"He's not here. He called in sick."

"Oh. Okay."

Tell your husband to call it "a novel" not just "a book". It might help.

But really, it shouldn't matter. When my wife says her husband is "a writer" her co-workers always assume since my day job is technical writing that that's what she means. If she says "novelist" it gets a whole different set of questions.

Because of my career background, people always assumed that I wrote a non-fiction computer or business book. I have to say 'novel' and they'd go, 'oh, really? (beat) what is it about?'

illiterwrite said:

Why the heck does every single one of my husband's coworkers automatically assume I've written a children's picture book...

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If every single one does, maybe one of them assumed it was a children's book and started talking to the others about it.

People are so good at stereotyping. They constantly fill in missing information by patching the story with their assumptions. I don't like it when it happens to me, either.

I told my coworkers that I'm writing a fantasy novel. Now they all keep saying I'm going to be the next J.K. Rowling. It makes me cringe every time. Not that I wouldn't love to be the next J.K. Rowling . It's just that I haven't even finished my first novel, much less found an agent or a publisher. Guess I should be glad they have so much faith in me!

My advice to everyone: just don't talk about it. Write in secret, and surprise them when you've got a contract. Yes, I know it's hard, but to my mind it;s important.
When I wrote my very first novel, I let everyone know. I even discussed the story with some friends. Now, most people have no idea about the publishing process and in a very short while I was getting questions like "When is it coming out?"
I hated it; especially as this novel was years in the rewriting, and people who imagined it would be published in abot six months just assumed I was a loser.

That book never did find a publisher, but I learned a lot from it. The next book, I wrote completely in secret. The only people who knew I was writing at all were my immediate family,and even they didn't know WHAT I was writing, until I got an offer of a contract. Mind you, I still got annoying questions. I was a stay at home mom at the time, and ex-colleagues of mine - one woman in particular - kept insinuating that I was letting myself go rusty, I should get back to work (NO WAY!) to keep my self respect, how boring my life must be and so on. It was very difficult keeping the secret: that I was having the most amazing adventures - in creating fiction, and life had never been so interesting, and that it was the DAYJOB that was deadening!

AFter that it was a bit simpler as I had contracts for the next two books before they were written; but the "what's it about?" really gets on my nerves. According to Dorothea Brande, who wrote my Bible of writing, Becoming a Writer, you should NEVER tell anyone the story of your book, because then the subconscious mind thinks it's been told already and shuts down.

For my fourth novel, for which I did NOT have a contract, I made the mistake again of telling friends. Again the questions: "How's it going?" "Found a new publisher yet?" "What's it about?" Grrr!

KAM said:

I told my coworkers that I'm writing a fantasy novel. Now they all keep saying I'm going to be the next J.K. Rowling. It makes me cringe every time. Not that I wouldn't love to be the next J.K. Rowling

.

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Yeah, I get that one from time to time too....

Fortunately, most of my family and friends understand that writing the book is only part of the process and the publishing (or attempts to publish) can be lengthy so they will only occasionally ask how things are going. I rarely talk about specifics in regards to my WIP - except with my wife and a couple of my closest writing friends.

Take care all -

illiterwrite said:

Someone actually came up to him today to ask him who was going to illustrate my book.

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Tell them you couldn't get Tom of Finland, so you're still looking!

It's because they're all dirty misogynist pigs.

Simon Woodhouse said:

I find it quite interesting when people ask me what I write, and I say science fiction. They usually adopt a slightly bemused or patronising look, and then ask me if my work is anything like Star Wars.

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I write SF as well, but I don't tell too many people about it. My sister-in-law (who has never read a single book in the genre, and very few outside it) once asked me why I didn't try to write something more serious.

MTF

The first question I always get is, "What name do you write under?" HUH? Ah, mine! I'm proud of everything I've ever published, all under my name - well except for the confession market stories. People also assume that because I'm female I write romance. If they could read some of my horror short stories, they'd run screaming ... he, he, he.

Carlene

"Friends help you move. REAL friends help you move...bodies."

What I don't like is people saying, "next stop, Oprah." Patronizing bastiges.

I attended one meeting of a local writers' group. One. There were two of us there who were women in our 30s, and the group leader decided that we were both writing romance novels. I had already said that my novel was a ghost story, and the other woman was writing a memoir-type book, but he kept telling us about the conventions of "romance" writing. Great. That was a lot of help. Thanks.

When I worked in an office environment, I'd often bring in pages I was working on to go over in the break room during lunch. A friend came by: "Hey, Jen, whatcha doing?" "Well, I'm writing a novel." Her response was the automatic reply you give when someone's reading a book: "Is it good?" She caught herself then, and while she was laughing at herself I said "No, it's awful." So for weeks afterward when we'd run into each other, she'd say "Hey! How's that crappy novel coming?" and I'd say "It really sucks."

It sounds a bit like my strategy when I was pregnant, to absolutely not say anything until people started to ask (I wear men's shirts, so I was into the 6th month before I got questions at work), and then to be very vague about the due date, putting it 'oh, maybe the end of June, but you know first babies are often late, so maybe July ...'. Because I really really didn't want people coming up to me saying "So, haven't you had that baby yet?"

Though I'd suggest one possible way to stop the patronising questions, and that's innocent enthusiasm. 'Mistake' the rote remarks of small talk for sincere interest, and chatter on about how you make time to work, and how that subplot just came out of nowhere but turned out to be really vital, and how you're learning to read proofreader's marks, and whether your editor is right about cutting that scene ... All the stuff we talk about on the boards.
I use innocent enthusiasm fairly often for things like crossing the border with a bunch of rattan swords and a bag of costumes. Customs officials will much rather wave you on than listen to you rubbish on about your silly hobby, and you're obviously not bright enough to be a threat.

If co-workers have the wrong idea about your book, maybe blink and say "Oh no, though a children's book would be fun to do some day. No, my publisher is calling this one a harrowing journey through an urban landscape of hell, and well, they know what will sell, don't they? Still, a children's book would be a nice change of pace sometime. Once I'm finished with the cannibalistic mutants taking over the space station, I'll think about it. Or do you think I could rework the mutants into a young-adult space adventure?"
-Barbara

This conversation happens over and over to me:

Other Person: What kind of book is it?

Me: Young Adult Fantasy.

Other Person: Fantasy? Like sex for teenagers?

Me: No. Think The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

Other Person: OOOOHHH! Harry Potter.

UGH! While I personally like HP, there is MORE to Fantasy than HP!!!

aruna said:

My advice to everyone: just don't talk about it. Write in secret, and surprise them when you've got a contract. Yes, I know it's hard, but to my mind it;s important.

When I wrote my very first novel, I let everyone know. I even discussed the story with some friends. Now, most people have no idea about the publishing process and in a very short while I was getting questions like "When is it coming out?"

I hated it; especially as this novel was years in the rewriting, and people who imagined it would be published in abot six months just assumed I was a loser.

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Been there, done that. I wish I had just kept my mouth shut from the very beginning. But... you live and learn. I choose now to share my work only with other writers who truly understand the process and my immediate family.

Cheryll

illiterwrite said:

Why the heck does every single one of my husband's coworkers automatically assume I've written a children's picture book when they hear I've written a book? Because I'm a woman who has a baby?

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Maybe it's because children's picture books are all they read.

expat bum

I just tell people I'm a bum. I actually put it on the forms at the airport for occupation and everything.

A observant woman at Sydney Customs told me I can't be a bum and that we should put housewife... "No - I have a maid, I don't do houseworky things, I really am a bum... I sit by the pool all day in Thailand and play with my computer."