here, for a limited time only (i.e., until i get bored with it, the thread dies, or i just plain ol' fashioned forget about it (which is pretty likely)), i, preyer, will conduct a little contest.
here are the rules:
1) i am gawd. all will bow down before me. ladies, while you're down there... tie my shoes.
2) you will be given a cliche or a generic term in which you have to make better and/or reword.
3) multiple alternatives are encouraged.
4) i will barely manage to keep a bizarre scoring system which only i will know about and will probably forget how it works. and that's on a good day.
5) ties may be settled with a cross-country death race. the person killing the most hippies and goths wins. also acceptable are oprah book club members. again, i will probably forget the scoring system on this, too. if the score there is a tie (which i can guarantee it will be for legal purposes), too, suicide will double your score and you will win. triple your score if you happen to be a hippie or goth. if all parties kill themselves, the person who does so first will be declared winner. and dead, but, hey, that's the price of fame.
6) 'scoring' will be based on creativity, originality (though i'm not exactly sure how the two are terribly different), and clarity (meaning that the new version should actually be a viable replacement for the cliche/generic one. ah, hell, who am i kidding? make me laugh and you'll get *something.*).
7) the frequency of my new entries will be determined by a special computerized chinese algorythm programme based on the base six system, tetragonal inversion principles 2-6, 8 and 12, quad-tri-lateralism, and theoretical tea reading sub-routines. the total programme will be called 'whenever.' this timetable will be strictly enforced.
8) first place winners will receive the entire internut's love, devotion and awe. please don't let it go to your head when the publishers offer you eight digit advances based off your work here.
second place winners will receive a free, yes, free!
third place winners won't be scoffed at.
everyone else, thanks for playing.
the last place person i'll actively try to have banned and computer viruses sent to you that completely destroys your hard drive, thus saving the universe your utter lack of writing skillz.
please play responsibly and have fun.
here are the rules:
1) i am gawd. all will bow down before me. ladies, while you're down there... tie my shoes.
2) you will be given a cliche or a generic term in which you have to make better and/or reword.
3) multiple alternatives are encouraged.
4) i will barely manage to keep a bizarre scoring system which only i will know about and will probably forget how it works. and that's on a good day.
5) ties may be settled with a cross-country death race. the person killing the most hippies and goths wins. also acceptable are oprah book club members. again, i will probably forget the scoring system on this, too. if the score there is a tie (which i can guarantee it will be for legal purposes), too, suicide will double your score and you will win. triple your score if you happen to be a hippie or goth. if all parties kill themselves, the person who does so first will be declared winner. and dead, but, hey, that's the price of fame.
6) 'scoring' will be based on creativity, originality (though i'm not exactly sure how the two are terribly different), and clarity (meaning that the new version should actually be a viable replacement for the cliche/generic one. ah, hell, who am i kidding? make me laugh and you'll get *something.*).
7) the frequency of my new entries will be determined by a special computerized chinese algorythm programme based on the base six system, tetragonal inversion principles 2-6, 8 and 12, quad-tri-lateralism, and theoretical tea reading sub-routines. the total programme will be called 'whenever.' this timetable will be strictly enforced.
8) first place winners will receive the entire internut's love, devotion and awe. please don't let it go to your head when the publishers offer you eight digit advances based off your work here.
second place winners will receive a free, yes, free!
third place winners won't be scoffed at.
everyone else, thanks for playing.
the last place person i'll actively try to have banned and computer viruses sent to you that completely destroys your hard drive, thus saving the universe your utter lack of writing skillz.
please play responsibly and have fun.
