Paragraphs

Status
Not open for further replies.

Diviner

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
602
Reaction score
91
Location
California
I have been thinking about paragraphs. The only "training" I've ever had on that was high school where I learned the topic sentence-developing details-conclusion style. This is almost worthless for fiction writing, partially because a conclusion restates what you have just shown.

What I try to do is to stay on topic until a transition occurs, but I am not always sure I do this well. Sometimes it results in very short paragraphs. What with dialogue changes, I have a lot of white space, which is supposed to make it snappy reading but uses a lot of paper.

Here is an example from a WIP:

Should he refuse the knife? It was a small thing. He could carve other horses for Og. That should square that debt. He reminded himself to be careful in the future. Having learned what happened when he fell in with others without thinking, John did not want to make the same mistake again.

He put away his carving and the tools. He would not wait for Og. Instead, he toured the ship yet again, walking as fast as he could without endangering others.

Okay, the difference between the thought and the action is quite clear. Do they need to be separated or could they both be stuffed into the same paragraph? Do the rest of you worry about things like this?
 
Last edited:

MattW

Company Man
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 14, 2005
Messages
6,326
Reaction score
856
If the thought and action are related, they can be in the same paragraph, and probably should.

Think about the pacing - try reading it aloud.
 

Cathy C

Ooo! Shiny new cover!
Kind Benefactor
Absolute Sage
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 5, 2005
Messages
9,907
Reaction score
1,835
Location
Hiding in my writing cave
Website
www.cathyclamp.com
I think what you posted could go either way but, for the record, I would have split it just as you did. Sounds like you're doing just fine! :)
 

Jamesaritchie

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
27,863
Reaction score
2,313
I'd go along with Cathy. I would have split it the same way you did. In fiction, paragraphs are more about sound and rhythm than about formal rules.
 

reph

Fig of authority
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
5,160
Reaction score
971
Location
On a fig tree, presumably
Diviner, I think you've broken in the right place. The "pause" between paragraphs represents a passage of time during which John makes a decision. First paragraph: his thoughts; unsettled; a minor cliffhanger: what will he do? Inhale. Blank space: we wait and watch; tension. Hold breath. Second paragraph: resolution. Exhale.

An incidental question: what kind of setting is this that accommodates both a John and an Og?
 

Diviner

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
602
Reaction score
91
Location
California
reph said:
Diviner, I think you've broken in the right place. The "pause" between paragraphs represents a passage of time during which John makes a decision. First paragraph: his thoughts; unsettled; a minor cliffhanger: what will he do? Inhale. Blank space: we wait and watch; tension. Hold breath. Second paragraph: resolution. Exhale.

An incidental question: what kind of setting is this that accommodates both a John and an Og?

That was my take, Reph. Thanks. I do wonder about inner dialogue, though, because sometimes they go off into all kinds of places that really seem like another paragraph. Is it the emotional context, the intensity and importance of the ideas that determine the breaks? I know there are no rules on this, but should paragraphing indicate a mental inhale before the character follows his thought in another direction? That is what I have been doing, but it seems a hazy distinction.

Setting: Historical fiction. Og is a nickname for Olgilvy. The ship is a sailing ship.
 

reph

Fig of authority
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
5,160
Reaction score
971
Location
On a fig tree, presumably
Diviner said:
Is it the emotional context, the intensity and importance of the ideas that determine the breaks?
I'd say it's what experience you're setting the reader up to have. In the John/knife example, it's an emotional experience. (John's in a bind. What will he do?) Elsewhere, it might be an intellectual experience like what readers of essays have, as touched on in your first post.

Disclaimer: I Am Not a Novelist.

Og is a nickname for Olgilvy.
I'm relieved to hear that. I pictured him as a Neanderthal.
 

Tim Gasolene

pyromancer
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 27, 2005
Messages
55
Reaction score
5
"The only "training" I've ever had on that was high school where I learned the topic sentence-developing details-conclusion style. This is almost worthless for fiction"
- funnily, schools give a pretty good training on grammar. But kids needa pay attn rathr thn txtn in cl'***.
- funnily further, the sample paragraphs you posted do quite precisely follow that topic-developing-conslusion style, albeit without you being unconscious about it. See Example.

" because a conclusion restates what you have just shown."
- no it doesn't 'restate', it 'concludes' which is different.

" but uses a lot of paper."
- and the connection between good writing and paper usage is... ?

The Example:

"Should he refuse the knife?" - topic
"It was... " - development (aka expo)
"John did not want to make the same mistake again." - conclusion (aka 'resolution')

"He put away his carving and the tools." - topic
"He would not wait for Og. Instead, he toured the ship yet again, walking as fast as he could" - development
"without endangering others." - conclusion.

"Okay, the difference between the thought and the action is quite clear. Do they need to be separated or could they both be stuffed into the same paragraph?"
-line breaks (the paragraph formation) are regulated first of all by grammar. Apart from that, you can optionally use a thing called rhetorics, which comes in handy when you want to make impression not only by what you say but also by the way you say it. This is where 'pace' and 'rhythm' come in.
 

zeprosnepsid

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 24, 2005
Messages
1,006
Reaction score
90
Location
LA, unfortunately.
Don't be afraid of short paragraphs. They're easier to read. Also, they make the read quicker (use longer paragaphs if you want to slow the action down I suppose). But as a reader I like when it's easy to follow. I also like to be able to turn pages and feel like I'm getting somewhere. So at least personally, I'm a big fan of short paragraphs...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.