Questions re telephone dialogue, montages, naming characters

I don't know the answer to your question, but I don't think it's a stupid one.

It's not v/o.

O/s refers to off screen I believe. So if the character talking is not in view then their dialogue would be o/s...

Am I right guys?

For your not dumb question

(VO) is used to indicate dialogue that the audience can hear, but not see on screen.

(OS) indicates that the character can hear the dialogue, but the audience cannot see the source of the dialogue.

Hope that helps.

C Farr

Look at how professionally written scripts handle it.
(1) You often see '(filtered through phone)'.
Take, for example, that classic of modern theatre "Terminator 2"
(It's the first image - Adobe wont let me copy & paste)

It's a nice example of mini-slugs as well to show how the location changes within the scene.

(2) On the other hand, 'The Game' uses a (V.O) (from phone).
(It's the second image).

(3) And on Zaphod's third hand, XXX uses an (O.S.) (on phone)
There are many ways to defur a feline. Just use the one you like.

Mac

Quote from "The Screenwriter's Bible" by David Trottier.
(I just got the book for Christmas and already I'm quoting from it).

THE TELEPHONE VOICE
Voices coming through a telephone, walkie-talkie, radios, ect. are VOICE OVERS. Sometimes (on phone) or (amplified) or (filtered) is typed next to the name. In any case the person speaking is obviously not on camera and not at the scene location, so I use VOICE OVER (V.O.) for clarity.

Trottier did not go into specifics on wether there is a wrong way or right way, just the way he does it. I would do what is most comfortable for you.

Steph

I second (V.O.) -- actor on the other end of the line isn't in the current location, voice is probably recorded and dubbed. (O.S.) would indicate that the actor on the other end of the line is present but not in the shot. (FILTERED) is a variant of (V.O.) that implies electronic static/mush.

Phone RINGS. Sally picks up.

SALLY (into phone)
Hello?

MALE VOICE (V.O.)
Hello Sally. I've been watching you.

Sally gasps in delight.

-or-

Mike punches a number. RINGING tone...

BOB (V.O.)
Whaddaya want?

MIKE (into phone)
Who is this?

BOB (V.O.)
It's Bob.

MIKE (into phone)
I'm gonna come over there and
punch yer nose!

BOB (V.O.)
I'll be waitin' for ya!

-or-

Harry puts on the headset and tweaks the radio dials.

HARRY (into radio)
Calling Jungle Base Camp, over.

MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
(French accent)
This is Jungle... Camp. ...Mayday!
...under attack... crew dead...

The voice fades. Harry frantically adjusts the radio.

HARRY (into radio)
Say again, Jungle Base Camp! Over!

A MUFFLED SHOT. Harry can't believe his ears.

NEW MALE VOICE (V.O.)
(English accent)
Awfully sorry about that, old chap.
Everything's fine here. Radio
operator's had one too many I'm
afraid. We've put him to bed so
he can sleep it off. Talk to you
in the morning. Jungle Base Camp,
over and out.

-Derek
-> * <- Click on this magic star to be transported to my website. Ruby slippers optional.
________________________________________________
The practice of art isn't to make a living. It's to make your soul grow. ~The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing (Kurt Vonnegut)

Thanks for asking this, I had the sme question. I've also heard that telephone conversations should be kept to a minimum as they are boring - too much talking, no doing!

dialogue, montage, diverse questions

I read somewhere that your ms could be rejected just by a flick through that shows dialogue of more than a few lines.

But what if you're not writing an action flick but something of more depth, and the characters need to have a real conversation of more than a few sentences? Is three inches of dialogue too long?

Montages: do you write Montage left, centre or right?
Do you have to write slug lines for each new scene in a Montage?

Unnamed characters:
I have a minor character in Act I I call MAN. In Act II I have another minro charcter. Do I call him MAN 2 to distinguish him from MAN 1?

As new questions crop up I'll post them here - please have patience and thanks in advance!

Q: I have a minor character in Act I I call MAN. In Act II I have another minor charcter. Do I call him MAN 2 to distinguish him from MAN 1?

A: (From someone with more experience than I)

Those of us who actually produce what we write learn quickly (from having to deal with puzzled or irate actors) that you should give every character who speaks a name, even if that name is never used in dialog. Instead of FIRST COP it should be SHAPIRO or whatever.

Why? you ask. Because on a creative/archetypal/personal level people aren't human unless they've got names. Which means that you'll write "Shapiro's" one line more uniquely, more realistically if you're writing it for a man with a name than you would "First Cop." And it also means that whoever plays the part will have more of a sense of self and more of a handle on the character if s/he knows that character's name.

So to intro the guy make it clear:

"A cop, SHAPIRO, gets out of the car and regards the situation..."

Larry Brody (www.tvwriter.com)

Click to expand...

Even if you don't go as far as giving them a name, try and give it some texture. Rather than just 'MAN', what about a VAGRANT, a CUSTOMER, an EXECUTIVE, a THUG, a NERD, a HARRIED FATHER, etc ...

---
Q: How do you write Montage left, centre or right?
Do you have to write slug lines for each new scene in a Montage?

A: Forget how I do it, how do professionals do it?

To answer that question, just keep copies of the scripts you read in a single directory. They'll probably be in PDF format, so just open up Adobe Acrobot, open up the Full Reader Search (Ctrl + Shift + F), and search for 'Montage' for all files in that directory.

In Pitch Black, it is as simple as:

EXT. THE GAUNTLET - NIGHT

RAIN MONTAGE: Water running, flowing over rocks and ground.

EXT. THE GAUNTLET - NIGHT
.. and it just continues. Easy

-or-

INT. MAIN CABIN - CRASH SHIP - NIGHT

PREP MONATAGE: We see the survivors powering up cabin lights ... yanking three more cells from the battery bay... threading nylon cord through Paris' misting umbrellas, filling the reservoirs with high octane liquor .. swapping out 02 canisters.

INT. MAIN CABIN - CRASH SHIP - NIGHT
.. and it just continues.

Click to expand...

For Outbreak it is as simple as:

MONTAGE - EXT. COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT

A) In the pouring RAIN, Ford surveys the vast​

machine he's assembled:​

B) Soldiers in Chemwar gear pile boxes of body bags​

into trucks.​

C) Tractor drivers REV their ENGINES and THUNDER​

forward to the front line of Chinooks carrying​

the poison gas.​

D) Corpsmen check their watches and flash their​

signal lights.​

E) The CHINOOKS THUNDER into the air.​

​

Click to expand...

​

Interesting. I've always used 'MONTAGE ENDS' at the end, but it seems that others don't.

Mac

I've also heard that telephone conversations should be kept to a minimum as they are boring - too much talking, no doing!

Click to expand...

This should be applied to all conversations, not just the telephone variety.

Depends what's being said, of course.

Each of us believes that every word of dialogue we write is simply wonderful. That's because we're perfectly attuned to our own characters and what they're saying. I'm often surprised when readers complain that dialogue isn't natural, or worse, isn't interesting -- when to me, it's both. That's why I wrote it that way!

-Derek
-> * <- Click on this magic star to be transported to my website. Ruby slippers optional.
________________________________________________
The practice of art isn't to make a living. It's to make your soul grow. ~The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing (Kurt Vonnegut)

Motion pictures people,

They are called MOTION Pictures not dialog pictures.

Movies are all about people DOING things.
Long ago when movies were first develop the ENTIRE story was done by actions, behaviors, expressions, body language.

Every once in a while some info would have to be given that couldn't be expressed in action and a story card would appear.

Now we have the wonderful advantage of surround sound and the enhancement of dialog.

I said ENHANCEMENT.
No matter what it is ACTIONS speak louder then words.
Dialog should add diminsion and info that CAN NOT be supplied in ANY other way.

In our modern world people talk on cell phones and chat on message boards. However, we do lots of other stuff while doing these things.

Have you heard that commerical for the wireless mouse?
What is the point of wireless phones?
So you can DO while you talk.

Multi-tasking.

Give your characters actions to perform while they talk. Give the audience something to WATCH.
A normal conversation between two teenagers can be escalted to very interesting if one of them is making a bomb.
Or a mother could be checking on her kids while fleeing from the police.
Okay, so it's a drama.
Well, an abused houswife could be frantically scrubbing a sparkling clean floor while she "chats" sweetly with her husband, or vice versa.

Usually the best option is to have the action being performed contradict what is being talked about. Not always possible but it should be something you consider.

When you are reading a script look at the actions that are being perfomed while the characters speak. What else is happening? What are we being SHOWN?

About the specfic questions.

It's VO (Voice Over)
because the voice is coming over a transmission source.

OS (off screen)
means the character could walk into frame any second.

MONTAGE is left justified.

A montage is several really, REALLY short scenes (brief images almost)
usally with no dialog, which are written in outline form. No sluglines for each individual event. ( note that the slugs in Mac's examples are placed BEFORE the montage.)

Example one is written out in standard action format because it follows the same group of characters doing related actions.

Example two is in outline form because the camera shifts POV to several different characters and activities, each needing to be highlighted.

The point of a montage is to fast forward time.


Minor characters.
Be creative, give them something that reveals character or identifies them. There are all kinds of adjectives out there just waiting to be put to good use.

Long-ish dialog.
This is a "depends on" issue.
Depends on how interesting the core story is. Depends on how interesting the long dialog is, how truly vital the info is. Depends on the situation/enviroment the dialog is taking place in. Depends on the character who is saying it. Depends on if there is subtext in the dialog.

Look at the discussion of the ship with black sails sequence in POTC.

It's not really enough to see how a pro writer did their script but to really search for the WHY it was done that way. What else is going on besides the obvious?

V.O. & water (for the other bartender/screenwriters out there)

I've always felt VO means narration, and I never use it for anything else. I use OS when the character is in the scene but not on screen, and if they're heard over the phone or radio I will generally say (through phone) to specify.

The best thing you can do is make it clear what's taking place on screen. How you do it isn't as important as doing it simply and clearly.

Can't argue with simply and clearly, tho' bear in mind that terms like V.O. have been around forever, relatively speaking -- since the olde days of the manual typewriter, anyway. It's very likely that people got tired of having to type "(through phone)" or whatever the long-winded equivalent of V.O. was back then, and that somewhere, somehow, the industry standard was agreed and accepted, if only to save a heck of a lot of unnecessary typing.

I'm guessing. Haven't got a nugget of proof. If anyone happens to know what really happened 'way back when to establish V.O. as the "telephone voice" flag, feel free to share.

Welcome to the forum, BTW.

-Derek
-> * <- Click on this magic star to be transported to my website. Ruby slippers optional.
________________________________________________
The practice of art isn't to make a living. It's to make your soul grow. ~The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing (Kurt Vonnegut)

ANother question:
I take it that these days, you can do just about anything with computers.
I have a jaguar attacking a dog - ie leaping out of a tree to attack a dog, fighting the dog, killing it. Very unlikely to get that done in real life, as jaguars are rare, a protected species, and nobodys going to lend you one to shoot a film with.
It can be done anyway, I assume? (heck, I've seen much more complicated stuff in movies... Kong etc. But I need reassurance....) And is this stuff expensive?

Yes it can be done.

How much it costs? I don't know.


I'm sorry Aruna, but if Kong can take on 3, 3 ! T-rex's then certaintly a simple animal attack is possible.

Aren't computers wonderful?

In all likelihood, Aruna, some high-level executive is going to demand they change the jaguar attack that made sense into a Malaysian sun bear that doesn't, because his brother-in-law owns a Malaysian sun bear farm. At which point you must remind yourself to be grateful they didn't also change the dog into a cheerleader who runs instead of being attacked and whose costume pieces snag on the vegetation, pulled off item by item...

Maryn, who's seen a few movies and knows the screenwriter has little/no control over what's actually on the screen

Maryn said:

In all likelihood, Aruna, some high-level executive is going to demand they change the jaguar attack that made sense into a Malaysian sun bear that doesn't, because his brother-in-law owns a Malaysian sun bear farm. At which point you must remind yourself to be grateful they didn't also change the dog into a cheerleader who runs instead of being attacked and whose costume pieces snag on the vegetation, pulled off item by item...

Maryn, who's seen a few movies and knows the screenwriter has little/no control over what's actually on the screen

Click to expand...

Maryn, I'm having nightmaes about what they'd want to change anyway, PLEASE don't make it worse!

Better to know

then get blindsided.