Master (Dom?) v Dom

Fallen · May 5, 2012

I'm kind of new to the Dom / sub scene, and I'm just trying to get a sense of trust / boundaries / intricacies between the relationships of Master (Dom?) and Doms in general. I've read many novels with Doms and subs but very little on Master Doms.

What makes someone a Master, not a Dom? If a Dom is the dominant in a scene, why would he entertain the idea of a Master; is it a psychological pull toward another form subbing or simpy the hierarchy in the BDSM scene?

Sorry if it's rambling, I'm just trying to work this out without being annoyingly novice.

FalconMage · May 5, 2012

Well... it's not like there's a certification exam to pass, or anything like that.

I've most often encountered "Master" in situations where the experience was incorporated into the entire relationship. So-called "lifestyle" couples.

Ann_Mayburn · May 5, 2012

Varies from country, to state, to club, to individual. Some subcultures have elaborate levels of rank, like the old Leather Guard, while others it's just a different type of name than Dom, but denoting the same thing. There is no 'one twu way' in any type of human sexuality, BDSM included. We're all just a bunch of really strange and pretty snowflakes.

We could say for example in my Club, the Gilded Duck, you can only attain Master status after having gotten your black belt in flogging and can make a roomfull of subs come on your command.

While in my other club, the Silvered Muskrat, a Master is the title you get after you pay the extra hundred bucks a year for VIP status.

dangerousbill · May 5, 2012

Fallen said:
I'm kind of new to the Dom / sub scene, and I'm just trying to get a sense of trust / boundaries / intricacies between the relationships of Master (Dom?) and Doms in general. I've read many novels with Doms and subs but very little on Master Doms.

It's all in the universe that you build for your story. The reality of sex is too various for people to have formal titles or qualifications.

Fallen · May 6, 2012

FalconMage said:
Well... it's not like there's a certification exam to pass, or anything like that.

I've most often encountered "Master" in situations where the experience was incorporated into the entire relationship. So-called "lifestyle" couples.

Ann_Mayburn said:
Varies from country, to state, to club, to individual. Some subcultures have elaborate levels of rank, like the old Leather Guard, while others it's just a different type of name than Dom, but denoting the same thing. There is no 'one twu way' in any type of human sexuality, BDSM included. We're all just a bunch of really strange and pretty snowflakes.

We could say for example in my Club, the Gilded Duck, you can only attain Master status after having gotten your black belt in flogging and can make a roomfull of subs come on your command. While in my other club, the Silvered Muskrat, a Master is the title you get after you pay the extra hundred bucks a year for VIP status.

dangerousbill said:
It's all in the universe that you build for your story. The reality of sex is too various for people to have formal titles or qualifications.

That's perfect, guys. Just gives me freedom to run with a few psychological scenarios. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't treading on anyone's toes!

DiloKeith · May 7, 2012

When I first got involved in BDSM, "master" was used more generally, sometimes to indicate status and sometimes as a respectful form of address. It didn't necessarily indicate the type of relationship structure the person had. These days, 25 years later, some of that still holds, but the growing Master/slave community makes it a little more likely someone going by "Master" has that sort of relationship rather than some other sort of Dom/sub arrangement.

Consistent with what I'm used to, in my fiction, some doms are referred to as "Master [Name]", but addressed directly as "sir", not "master". I sometimes use it to indicate the person is a dom, not that the person is a master in any structured or hierarchical sense. There are plenty of other variations out there. One recent trend I don't like (just a personal thing) is using "sir" as a noun, as in "my Sir gave me permission to..." "Master" seems inaccurate, and "dom" doesn't sound quite right... Of the three, I prefer "dom" even if it's not always accurate. Socially, I'd probably address someone as "Sir" to be polite if I didn't know his preference.

I'm not sure what you were actually asking.

Fallen · May 9, 2012

Cheers, D.

I was just wondering if there was a level above 'Dom', i.e., a 'Master Dom', kind of like a ring master that other Doms learn from (etc).

DiloKeith · May 9, 2012

Oh, I missed that. I hope my answer to a different question wasn't useless.

The answer is sometimes yes, but I rarely see much structure. Personally, I haven't seen a title used for that. As Ann said, it varies with the community. Even where there is no formal hierarchy, there is usually a great deal of mentoring. It's expected that someone interested in learning will seek advice from the people known to be experts. Education plays a huge role in the organized community.

Fallen · May 9, 2012

Thank you! That does help. Gives me room to move.

Master (Dom?) v Dom

Fallen

Stood at the coalface

FalconMage

Ann_Mayburn

Smutty McTitters

dangerousbill

Retired Illuminatus

Fallen

Stood at the coalface

DiloKeith

Doesn't scare easily

Fallen

Stood at the coalface

DiloKeith

Doesn't scare easily

Fallen

Stood at the coalface