Is this too derivative?

goofy06 · Mar 28, 2012

I'm writing a novel about a Greek god that lives among the mortals in present day society. As he's immortal and looks to be about 17, he (along with his brothers) goes to high school. If he doesn't, he doesn't "blend in" to society and risks exposing himself and his brothers to the humans. A kid out of school, after all, is a magnet for the truant officer.

When I was writing the book, I didn't think about the similarity to Twilight, but as I've been editing, I can't get it out of my head that this is very similar to what Edward and his family do.

In my book, there are far fewer high school scenes as he is soon forced to go on the run, but the opening of the book sets up that he's in school so he'll blend in, and this is where he also meets the other main character who becomes a love interest.

Obviously the book isn't about vampires, so there's no similarity there, but it's bugging me. Is this too derivative of Twilight? I've been casting about for a way to avoid this whole problem, but if I drop the high school part, I have to come up with some other way for him to meet the other MC and it just starts to get really corny, really quickly.

Any ideas or help? Will this be judged poorly?

Sage · Mar 28, 2012

Immortal teenagers are common enough in YA SFF that you don't have to worry about it unless there are other similarities to Edward or Twilight.

However--and I hate to do this--I do have to question the entire basis behind why he's in school. He looks 17 forever, but, really, who do you look at and say, "Yep, he's 17, definitely not 18, definitely not 16. Totally 17"? What did he do last year? What's his plan for next year and the year after (when he'll be out of high school no matter what)? If he were to say he was 18, who would question it?

wampuscat · Mar 28, 2012

It seems like a pretty common premise (paranormal being trying to fit into human society), so I wouldn't automatically think of Twilight. Maybe if you have a bunch of other stuff that mirrors Twilight, or if your MC is very similar to another character, but it sounds like you are trying to get away from that. It all depends on how you write it.

Mandiloo322 · Mar 28, 2012

I also agree that simply putting a paranormal teen in school doesn't automatically conjure Twilight. (Honestly, I thought of the Percy Jackson series.)

Sage has a point that 17-year-olds closely resemble the liberated 18-year-olds. Perhaps he looks very young for his age? Or maybe he finds being a student more comfortable than trying to be an adult, because when you're eighteen you are legally an adult without any of the clout/influence of say, a 30-year-old.

In any case, I'd suggest posting some excerpts in SYW or getting a few beta readers if you are very unsure.

veinglory · Mar 28, 2012

I never understood why immortals would go to high school, but it is a non-uncommon trope and so apparently not a problem.

Smish · Mar 28, 2012

Sage said:
However--and I hate to do this--I do have to question the entire basis behind why he's in school. He looks 17 forever, but, really, who do you look at and say, "Yep, he's 17, definitely not 18, definitely not 16. Totally 17"? What did he do last year? What's his plan for next year and the year after (when he'll be out of high school no matter what)? If he were to say he was 18, who would question it?

That was my first thought, too. Unless he's very small, which seems unlikely if he's a God.

But no, I don't think it's too derivative.

thebloodfiend · Mar 28, 2012

If he's a Greek god, why can't he just poof up a fake license and birth certificate? Some 16-year-olds are able to fake being 21. Why is he going to high school? It's not too derivative, but who likes repeating high school year after year? There are places for teens to meet outside of school. Clubs, parks, the mall, etcetera. It would create more drama for her to wonder why he didn't go to school.

And, tbh, I don't know what risk a truant officer would pose to a 17-year-old who wasn't a runaway who's an immortal Greek god. Greek god is the part that really kills me. Demi-god, I can understand. They don't have much control over anything in their lives. But a god? Which one is he?

GingerGunlock · Mar 28, 2012

veinglory said:
I never understood why immortals would go to high school, but it is a non-uncommon trope and so apparently not a problem.

I've frequently wondered that myself. My conclusion? For the chicks.

(and this is not meant in offense to the OP. I just thought to be funny and hope it's taken as such.)

Polenth · Mar 28, 2012

When I started reading, I thought you were going to ask about the Greek god issue. Twilight really isn't the first thing that came to mind. You're more likely to be compared to Percy Jackson and other Greek god books. It doesn't mean you can't write about Greek gods, but you might want to track down a few of the recent books so you know what makes yours different.

Erik M · Mar 28, 2012

As has been said, I would imagine a full-blown god would have more control over things than having to repeat high-school year after year. That would actually create some problems, as he would have to switch schools pretty frequently. Of course, the Greek gods were not omnipotent, so he might not be able to poof up a fake ID, but that doesn't mean he couldn't get one through more mundane means. I was curious as to which god you are writing about. There were a finite number of Greek gods and I can't recall one that looked particularly young.

n3onkn1ght · Mar 28, 2012

Yeah, I have to chime in and say, "Why is he still in high school?" Why not a university student? The Greeks founded universities! It would be part of his cultural heritage, and there are always more interesting classes than you can ever reasonably take in a human lifetime. Plus, then you could make a ton of jokes about "Greek life".

You know what else'd be interesting? A Greek god having to work a crappy minimum wage job. He may be able to control lightning, but he's still got to make ends meet somehow, and there's nothing that gives someone a superiority complex quite like having to serve slop to boorish customers all day long.

Either of those would give him a great opportunity to meet his love interest and offer a refreshing change of pace from "secretly immortal, yet mills around a high school anyway".

lolchemist · Mar 28, 2012

Gurl, I know you probably WANT/NEED him to be in high school because of your plot and everything but I have to ditto what everyone else said. What God in his right mind would just be a high school student over and over again? Has he never heard of homeschooling? Doesn't he have some kind of special God magic that can make him look like whatever age he wants? The amount of snark about Meyer's vampires going to school has been vicious, I mean EVEN (some of) HER FANS nitpick it apart!

You should come up with a better reason in my opinion... How about you make him WANT to go to high school just for giggles because he wants to see how normal people live? That would make more sense than the 'I need to fit in' thing...

little_e · Mar 28, 2012

My problem with this is not that it's cliche, but that I simply don't find it realistic at all.

I was homeschooled at 17--that is, I did not attend any school other than the books in my own bookshelf--and never had any difficulty with truant officers. At 18 I was out of school but still looked about 15, still didn't have any difficulty with truant officers.

Heck, I had a friend in college who had some sort of hormone issue and still looked 12 in her mid-twenties, and no one was forcing her back into middle school.

And if for some reason I magically looked like I was 17 again, there is no way in hell I'd go back to highschool. I tried it for a year. Ugh.

A Greek god can fake a birth certificate which claims he's 18.

little_e · Mar 28, 2012

You know, why not just have him be *actually* 17? He could be a demi-god a la Hercules or Achilles, and simply be 17 and going to school. Or you could have gods occasionally die and new gods have to take their places, and so voila, he's the new Apollo. Or whatever.

Becca C. · Mar 29, 2012

n3onkn1ght said:
You know what else'd be interesting? A Greek god having to work a crappy minimum wage job. He may be able to control lightning, but he's still got to make ends meet somehow, and there's nothing that gives someone a superiority complex quite like having to serve slop to boorish customers all day long.

Either of those would give him a great opportunity to meet his love interest and offer a refreshing change of pace from "secretly immortal, yet mills around a high school anyway".

I like this idea. I agree with everyone else. If you're immortal, why in god's name would you slum it in a high school?! That's the very last thing I'd want to do if I were immortal.

MEPurfield · Mar 29, 2012

I dont think it's too farfetched as long as it relates to the motivation of the character. Forexample, A.M. Jenkin's 'Repossessed' is about a demon who escapes from hell on a vacation and hops into the body of a crumby teen boy. The demon wants to experience being human and that includes sex and since he's in a teen boy, that would be sex with HS girls. It's all very well written and funny as hell, no pun intended.

Sage · Mar 29, 2012

There are definitely reasons that the character might choose to go to high school. I just question the one presented to us.

MKrys · Mar 29, 2012

I'm going to be honest, I do see a similarity to Twilight, however much I also agree that this premise is common in YA.

My question is this: if it bothers you, never mind the fact that it seems to be common done in YA, why not do something else?

Good luck!

Stiger05 · Mar 29, 2012

A kid out of school, after all, is a magnet for the truant officer.

Just wanted to point out that this isn't true. It's a common misconception, but really no one cares. There aren't truant officers trolling the malls, etc looking for underage kids who aren't in school. I have a family friend who is a high school principal who let me in on the secret. After 16 no one cares if you go to school since you aren't required by law to attend any longer. The only time a truancy officer is called is when a child misses a certain amount of school. The school will first call the parents and then call the truancy office.

If the MC is a Greek god, he'd never have been enrolled in the first place and therefore no one would notice. And, as others pointed out, he could easily be a year older and not in school at all.

roseangel · Mar 29, 2012

I've known 30 years old who could pass for 15 years old.
My great grandmother could pass for a 40 years old well into her 90s.
If he looks 17-18ish, he could pass himself off as in his 20s.

Becca C. · Mar 29, 2012

Stiger05 said:
Just wanted to point out that this isn't true. It's a common misconception, but really no one cares. There aren't truant officers trolling the malls, etc looking for underage kids who aren't in school. I have a family friend who is a high school principal who let me in on the secret. After 16 no one cares if you go to school since you aren't required by law to attend any longer. The only time a truancy officer is called is when a child misses a certain amount of school. The school will first call the parents and then call the truancy office.

True. I skipped school all the time and was never stopped by anyone, not even random passersby asking if I should be in school. Skipping really isn't as big a deal as parents make it out to be

and I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as truancy officers here... I've only ever heard them spoken of on American TV.

Drachen Jager · Mar 29, 2012

Sounds more like The Olympians series which started with Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.

He wasn't a High School aged Greek god, just the son of one, and he goes off to demi-god camp in the summers and meets with other demi-gods of his age.

I think you'll risk far more comparisons to that series than Twilight.

RKLipman · Mar 29, 2012

Additionally, at least in the U.S., education is only compulsory until the age of 16.

Stiger05 said:
Just wanted to point out that this isn't true. It's a common misconception, but really no one cares. There aren't truant officers trolling the malls, etc looking for underage kids who aren't in school. I have a family friend who is a high school principal who let me in on the secret. After 16 no one cares if you go to school since you aren't required by law to attend any longer. The only time a truancy officer is called is when a child misses a certain amount of school. The school will first call the parents and then call the truancy office.

If the MC is a Greek god, he'd never have been enrolled in the first place and therefore no one would notice. And, as others pointed out, he could easily be a year older and not in school at all.

JQTrotter · Mar 29, 2012

n3onkn1ght said:
Yeah, I have to chime in and say, "Why is he still in high school?" Why not a university student? The Greeks founded universities! It would be part of his cultural heritage, and there are always more interesting classes than you can ever reasonably take in a human lifetime. Plus, then you could make a ton of jokes about "Greek life".

You know what else'd be interesting? A Greek god having to work a crappy minimum wage job. He may be able to control lightning, but he's still got to make ends meet somehow, and there's nothing that gives someone a superiority complex quite like having to serve slop to boorish customers all day long.

Either of those would give him a great opportunity to meet his love interest and offer a refreshing change of pace from "secretly immortal, yet mills around a high school anyway".

I'm with Becca, this is interesting. I also think of The Olympians series with Percy Jackson instead of Twilight. But if you have a reason within your plot to have in him high school then make sure it's a compelling enough one that the readers believe it. The reason for Percy Jackson in school is reasonable because Percy Jackson isn't immortal and actually needs to be for any future career. The reason the Twilight teens in high school is stupid. But, as said, it's a common premise in stories.

meowzbark · Mar 29, 2012

Perhaps you could change the reasoning for him attending high school, such as he "happens" upon his future love interest and is intrigued by her.

MC: *thinks girl is interesting*
Girl: What school do you go to?
MC: Um, what school do you go to?
Girl: Twilight High (or something)
MC: What a coincidence! I'm starting there next week. (goes and signs up)

Or him and his brothers could "dare" each other to pretend to act like teenagers.

Is this too derivative?

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