Describing Protagonist in the First Person

Spy_on_the_Inside · Mar 15, 2012

Something I have found myself wondering is just how do you go about describing a protaginist's physical appreaence. I have already been told time and time again that you should never have a person describe themselves by looking at their reflection (it is much to cliche). I agree with that, and I also find a lot of examples of a character describing themselves sounding really forced.

But that still leaves me with the problem of still how do you describe a character when they're the one telling the story? Any help or suggestions?

quicklime · Mar 15, 2012

Spy_on_the_Inside said:
Something I have found myself wondering is just how do you go about describing a protaginist's physical appreaence. I have already been told time and time again that you should never have a person describe themselves by looking at their reflection (it is much to cliche). I agree with that, and I also find a lot of examples of a character describing themselves sounding really forced.

But that still leaves me with the problem of still how do you describe a character when they're the one telling the story? Any help or suggestions?

how often do you need to?

I've read entire books where I can't recall more than a line or two.

re-read a few of your favorites, and I suspect you will find there's much less there than you think you need.

then read an Anita Blake book and count how many times you get a description, and see if it starts to piss you off when over-used.

Mr Flibble · Mar 15, 2012

Hmm

I've got round this in various ways (paraphrasing, I hope I do it better in the actual MS

)

Describing someone's panicky reaction to my guy as because 'I'm a big guy, and the uniform* probably didn't help' (*Think Fantasy Gestapo)

Or him describing how he and his estranged brother look both similar and different.

How such and such a guy 'Looked more like me' than someone else, and how.

Etc etc.

It's tricky, but it can be done. You just need to use a bit of imagination. As quicklime says, you don;t need much. The reader will make an impression from their actions. You just need to give enough to give a flavour. Big/small. Alike to the surrounding people, or not etc

SomethingOrOther · Mar 15, 2012

The same way you'd describe any other character's appearance. People know what they look like even when they're not looking at themselves.

Use details relevant to a character's state of mind; you probably should default to avoiding anything else. A protagonist who's feeling self-conscious might think about his or her pimples or undone hair. A protagonist who wants to sneak into some lab might think about his or her small build and how it should make sneaking into the lab easier. Etc.

Bufty · Mar 15, 2012

Is it really important that I know what you look like?

Readers have imaginations, too.

Don't attempt to describe yourself.

Readers will know what kind of a person you are from your actions/reactions and your interactions with other folk, but as to what you look like - unless it is absolutely necessary to know how tall you are and that you have a mole on your nose, why not leave me or any reader to use our own imaginations and perceive you as we choose.

Our own imaginary ideal Barbie Doll or Action Man - don't spoil the illusion by trying to explain everything. Readers have brains.

BethS · Mar 15, 2012

Spy_on_the_Inside said:
But that still leaves me with the problem of still how do you describe a character when they're the one telling the story? Any help or suggestions?

You can give them good reasons to make mental comparisons.

Everyone used to think Suze and I were twins. It was the hair and the height, mostly, but I had freckles and she didn't, and my eyes are brown, not blue. People don't look at details, though; they see two tall skinny chicks with hair like a Brillo pad on fire, and they make assumptions. Naturally, we shamelessly exploited this.

Or you can communicate it through the reactions and dialogue of other characters.

"Are you a redhead all over, sweetheart?" he asked.

I counted to ten while deciding just how to wipe that leer off his face: a punch to the nose or a kick to the groin.

There's lots of ways. Be creative. Use the description to characterize, not just inform.

Buffysquirrel · Mar 15, 2012

This is what I did in one novel.

His chips clinked together as he stacked them. "Matt's your father? Matthew Hanson? You don't look like him."

As if I needed reminding. Nobody expected mousy little me to be related to my father, with his dark hair and eyes that I'd conspicuously not inherited.

Cathy C · Mar 15, 2012

You can also have the MC run into someone in the grocery store or gas station who they hadn't seen in a while.

"Hey! You cut your hair. It looks great."

I couldn't lie to Bob. "Short hair hides the gray better."

All of a sudden, you know the character's age too.

Mharvey · Mar 15, 2012

Have a reason for the main character to be describing himself that's plausible if you feel you have to, like the above posters recommended.

Have a scene in my WIP where a bad guy offers my main character lots of money to let him go: "think of how many steak dinners you can buy with that..." His little sister then warns the bad guy not to tempt my MC, he's too fat as it is. MC looks down at himself, sees his belly hanging over his belt, and makes a lame excuse.

It gets the point across.

Dr.Gonzo · Mar 15, 2012

Most things we don't need to know. Other things can be worked in differently. Does he feel scruffy in jeans and a T-shirt because the bar's full of suits? Does the wind make a mess of his thinning hair? Does she long for her size eights after talking to a skinny teen? Is she late for work after putting extra make-up over some pimples?

You'll find ways to get those kind of things in. It's easy if it has a point of some kind. If it has no point, it really has no place.

jaksen · Mar 15, 2012

You really don't need a lot of description, but when I do describe an MC and writing first person, I usually use comparisons. Well my MC is a kid so he's conscious of how he compares to other, bigger kids or why all the girls like ...

"Saw Jimmy Flanagan with Cindy Perkins yesterday. He's such a jerk. What, you gotta be six foot six to attract a girl? And he dyes his hair, the idiot. Well, maybe I should, too, not sure. My grandmother thinks my red hair's great, calls it auburn. Just the same, I'd give anything for Jimmy's height, but not his personality."

Domino Derval · Mar 15, 2012

I my current WIP, I just had the character flat-out say what she looked like, or at least the details I wanted to convey. It fit her narratorial style and meant I didn't have to do anything cute.

Mandiloo322 · Mar 15, 2012

Whatever you do, just don't obsess over appearances. I tend to make a game out of how many times the author mentions characters' eye colors, and which similes best describes them (and how often those similes involve sky or ocean).

Novels are wonderful because no matter what you include or don't include, every reader still manages to conjure up a crystal clear image of the characters.

quicklime · Mar 15, 2012

a couple thoughts:

1. read some more threads here

2. read On Writing, where King talks specifically about this

3. Find some bad examples where it is done poorly. Atlanta Nights comes to mind, where it was done intentionally, and the very first Anita Blake book, where I think it may have been done to make sure she hit 70,000 words.... :-(

Jamesaritchie · Mar 16, 2012

I usually don't describe a first person protagonist's looks. Why would I? He looks however the rader wants him to look, and I'm fine with this.

I do, however, describe what he can and can't do. If he's tall, then he reaches something on a high shelf, or has someone look up at him, etc. If he's strong, he picks up something heavy.

The excption is when the protagonist is really odd looking , different, and his appearance draws reaction. If he's four feet tall, has a red beard, and a nose like a bannana, I'll probably describe his looks, but I give him a reason to tell the reader how he looks.

This is what really matters. When you must describe appearance in first person, give the character a solid reason for doing so, and have him do so in a way that makes sense.

driedraspberry · Mar 16, 2012

I usually don't do it in one go. I drop hints about her hair if say it get's tangled somewhere, or her height if it's relevant. Or if something comes up in conversation.

Aggy B. · Mar 16, 2012

It's not usually necessary. And if it is, you'll know because the insertion of relevant information will be obvious.

In one short story (actually close third person) I drop hints about the MC's appearance by having her describe a doppelganger/imitator she runs into.

Aggy, still likes that scene a ton

ccarver30 · Mar 16, 2012

I did this by my character wondering why a hottie had so much interest in her then she described why she was "average"...

Kriven · Mar 16, 2012

Also keep in mind that you don't have to describe all aspects of your character in one scene. Readers who care about the way a character looks will remember what color their hair was even if you just mention it in one line near the beginning, and when you mention later on down the road that your character has a mole under one eye, the reader will just go "Oh, huh. That's cool."

Lady Ice · Mar 16, 2012

Not normally necessary to physically describe narrator, unless their physical appearance has a bearing on how people react to them.

Mr Flibble · Mar 16, 2012

Lady Ice said:
Not normally necessary to physically describe narrator, unless their physical appearance has a bearing on how people react to them.

Right up until your editor informs you that their readers like to know what a protag looks like.

crunchyblanket · Mar 16, 2012

No mirrors. Never mirrors.

*runs and hides in case Honeybadger shows up*

Nimram · Mar 16, 2012

Spy_on_the_Inside said:
I have already been told time and time again that you should never have a person describe themselves by looking at their reflection (it is much to cliche). I agree with that, and I also find a lot of examples of a character describing themselves sounding really forced.

OK, maybe this will not help much, but I'll say try the mirror. I would. For more than one reason.
1. I would want to see if I can write my way around the cliche.
2. People say (for good reason, I'm sure) not to do it.
3. I think it could have great potential for a scene because of the emotional reaction we have when we look in the mirror.
4. It would only take (maybe) up to half hour to write and i would look at it as exercise.

Libbie · Mar 16, 2012

Bufty said:
Is it really important that I know what you look like?

Readers have imaginations, too.

Don't attempt to describe yourself.

Readers will know what kind of a person you are from your actions/reactions and your interactions with other folk, but as to what you look like - unless it is absolutely necessary to know how tall you are and that you have a mole on your nose, why not leave me or any reader to use our own imaginations and perceive you as we choose.

Our own imaginary ideal Barbie Doll or Action Man - don't spoil the illusion by trying to explain everything. Readers have brains.

THIS!!!!

I think it's only necessary to describe characters' physical appearances in any kind of detail if it has bearing on the plot. If the way they look effects events in some important way, then description is warranted. If it doesn't matter, then it doesn't matter, and you can leave it out. In the book I just finished writing last night, my first-person narrator is never described, except that it's clear to the reader that she's a woman around the age of 25. She's never named, either. It's not important.

Other characters' physical appearances are described when it impacts the plot or when the narrator has a significant reason for noticing the way they look. For example, one character looks just like somebody she knew from her childhood but lost track of, so the surprise of meeting this look-alike warrants a thorough description. She has a reason to notice, and thus to pass it along to the reader. Other characters get only brief or sketchy descriptions, because it doesn't matter.

Libbie · Mar 16, 2012

IdiotsRUs said:
Right up until your editor informs you that their readers like to know what a protag looks like.

Depends on the genre you're working in, thank goodness!

In genres where a description is expected, you can always have a first-person narrator engage in a conversation with somebody who remarks naturally on his or her looks. Maybe your female narrator meets her dad at a coffee shop after a few years of not speaking to him, and he comments on how much she looks like her dead mother, with her dark hair and her big eyes and her slender nose. That would be a natural way for description to come out. Unnatural ways are things like "I tossed my fiery red hair over my creamy-skinned shoulder and glared at him with my fierce emerald eyes." Gag me. Nobody thinks of themselves in those terms, not even the most vain or self-conscious person in the world, and that's what first-person narration is: Thought.

Describing Protagonist in the First Person

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