Early Morning Description

vedika · Mar 14, 2012

Hey Guys,
I need a little help out here. I want to describe early morning something like "birds are chirping, cool wind blowing, the sun has just come up" but I'm not able to form a perfect sentence, can anyone please help me with it??

Thanks

paperpast · Mar 14, 2012

Morning

I recently wrote this in one of my scenes.

"I rolled out of my bag and stood up and stretched in the direction of the sun just shining its warm golden light over the mountain. The entire meadow was glowing under its morning warmth and the dew was still plainly visible on all the blades of grass nearby."

Here is a suggestion. Get up early in the morning with your note book and start writing whatever you see that is only there in the morning and disappears when afternoon arrives.

vedika · Mar 14, 2012

Thanks for the help and the suggestion. It should help

Dr.Gonzo · Mar 14, 2012

Birds chirp too much in the morning. In real life and in literature. If you can, push yourself to say something different, some clever line that can say it all and make someone think of a morning, without the need for birds and the sun rising.

vedika · Mar 14, 2012

Dr.Gonzo said:
Birds chirp too much in the morning. In real life and in literature. If you can, push yourself to say something different, some clever line that can say it all and make someone think of a morning, without the need for birds and the sun rising.

By describing the color of the sky?

Mr Flibble · Mar 14, 2012

Dr.Gonzo said:
Birds chirp too much in the morning. In real life and in literature. If you can, push yourself to say something different, some clever line that can say it all and make someone think of a morning, without the need for birds and the sun rising.

Or you could twist the birds from tweeting sweetness to harbingers of evil (ie use your characters voice. How would they describe it?): I wished those sodding birds would shut up. All that twittering gets right on my pecs first thing. I clutched my cup of coffee, leant out of the window and shouted 'Stop being so bloody cheerful!'.

Anyway, try to go for either the new, fresh detail of dawn (as said upthread, by watching one with notebook in hand), or go with character voice, or--my preference--both.

bearilou · Mar 14, 2012

Dr.Gonzo said:
Birds chirp too much in the morning. In real life and in literature. If you can, push yourself to say something different, some clever line that can say it all and make someone think of a morning, without the need for birds and the sun rising.

^^^ this

Really. And sometimes, it's different for the season, for the region, for the location.

I live on a farm. There may be a myriad of birds chirping their fool heads off first thing but I really don't hear them over the pathetic croaking that our rooster wanted to call crowing.

Right now, at 5:34am where I'm at, I can hear the frogs. Because I'm so remote but have lived in/near citys quite a bit, I'm struck by the lack of the constant hum of background traffic noise. It's almost too quiet out here.

Off in the distance, I can hear our dogs barking, no doubt chasing away the last of our most current predator threat to our cows and goats.

But the frogs...I can hear the frogs.

Dr.Gonzo · Mar 14, 2012

vedika said:
By describing the color of the sky?

What the one below said.

IdiotsRUs said:
Or you could twist the birds from tweeting sweetness to harbingers of evil (ie use your characters voice. How would they describe it?): I wished those sodding birds would shut up. All that twittering gets right on my pecs first thing. I clutched my cup of coffee, leant out of the window and shouted 'Stop being so bloody cheerful!'.

Anyway, try to go for either the new, fresh detail of dawn (as said upthread, by watching one with notebook in hand), or go with character voice, or--my preference--both.

I agree. Filter it through your character, get what they see, not what is fact, but what it is for them.

BradCarsten · Mar 14, 2012

What I have found helps is to give the descriptions movement and ground them in the scene by having them interact with either the character, or other objects in the surroundings.

So for example take the “cool wind blowing” and “the sun just come up”

The wind blew in from the north, across the wheat fields and rows of apple trees that surrounded the farm house. Despite the sun edging over the mountains to the east, casting back shadows and colouring in the fields, the wind still carried the last traces of a cold night. Philip shivered and drew his cloak tighter around his neck.

The sentence can still use a bit of editing. But once you have the framework, it’s then just a matter of playing around with the words and images.

BethS · Mar 14, 2012

vedika said:
Hey Guys,
I need a little help out here. I want to describe early morning something like "birds are chirping, cool wind blowing, the sun has just come up" but I'm not able to form a perfect sentence, can anyone please help me with it??

Thanks

If you're writing fiction, remember that this sunrise is being viewed through the eyes and emotions of a character. That will influence how you describe it.

Susan Coffin · Mar 14, 2012

bearilou said:
Right now, at 5:34am where I'm at, I can hear the frogs. Because I'm so remote but have lived in/near citys quite a bit, I'm struck by the lack of the constant hum of background traffic noise. It's almost too quiet out here.

But the frogs...I can hear the frogs.

Bear,

Before I bought my house, I lived in an apartment complex with a vernal pool. Oh my goodness, every night and very early in the morning before sunrise during the rainy season, the frogs used to have these outrageous conversations. It was like I lived next door to a bunch of frogs who partied every night. It was so amazing.

Susan Coffin · Mar 14, 2012

vedika said:
Hey Guys,
I need a little help out here. I want to describe early morning something like "birds are chirping, cool wind blowing, the sun has just come up" but I'm not able to form a perfect sentence, can anyone please help me with it??

Thanks

Vedika,

Here's a few questions that might help you with your description.

What do you hear early each morning? Use this as a guideline to what your character might hear.

What does early morning feel like to your character?

What is the importance of morning to your character?

The Seanchai · Mar 14, 2012

I agree with filtering it through the character. To me, that's when the best descriptions come, and also adds characterization.

Garriga · Mar 14, 2012

Morning

In the spring there is always dew on the grass.

Aggy B. · Mar 14, 2012

Garriga said:
In the spring there is always dew on the grass.

Unless you live in a desert. In which case there isn't much grass or dew.

Debio · Mar 14, 2012

Frogs. Let me tell you about frogs.

I live in Japan. We have lots of rice paddies around here. Frogs love rice paddies. From spring to early summer it is incredibly noisy. In the apartment I used to live in, with a paddy right outside the window, I had to watch TV with headphones in the evening. Even with the windows closed the frogs were too noisy to hear.

Morning was when the dang frogs finally shut up.

Pikabuddy · Mar 14, 2012

I agree with others above me. I usually put "morning" in somewhere as an adjective or imply a morning scene with an obvious word.

"Fresh morning breeze"

"She felt cool morning dew between her toes"

^ Some examples I incorporate.

backslashbaby · Mar 15, 2012

vedika said:
By describing the color of the sky?

I think you can definitely use birds and the sun. Those really are an important sensory part of early morning for me, so if they are what the moment feels like, go with it.

Just avoid words like chirping. I think the overused part really comes from descriptions that include too-common words. Think of a new way to describe why the morning feels like birds and sun.

I'll give a little part of one of my stories that involved a similar thing, although I needed to include the passage of time, too:

...It had been a rainy and hot summer, but now the air was chilled with autumn, the edges of the leaves starting their red-curl of death. It was beautiful. But it was death just the same. The forest had been slippery and moss-alive in the summer, but now it would be frozen in time for the winter. He would be frozen in time for me; I knew already....

There's some thematic stuff in there; you wouldn't talk about death if it's supposed to be a cheery scene

It's from a supernatural (or crazy person's) story about war.

eta: there are many styles, of course. I just write the way I like, so please feel free to disagree if y'all don't like it! I don't want to sound like I think I know The Secret or anything

diamond egis · Mar 15, 2012

read 50 aubades then go sit in the garden at sunrise - or go camping
: )

bearilou · Mar 15, 2012

Debio said:
Frogs. Let me tell you about frogs.

I live in Japan. We have lots of rice paddies around here. Frogs love rice paddies. From spring to early summer it is incredibly noisy. In the apartment I used to live in, with a paddy right outside the window, I had to watch TV with headphones in the evening. Even with the windows closed the frogs were too noisy to hear.

Morning was when the dang frogs finally shut up.

There are times when I'm trying to talk to my mother and it's hard to hear her over the symphony of frogs. :ROFL:

BethS · Mar 15, 2012

backslashbaby said:
...It had been a rainy and hot summer, but now the air was chilled with autumn, the edges of the leaves starting their red-curl of death. It was beautiful. But it was death just the same. The forest had been slippery and moss-alive in the summer, but now it would be frozen in time for the winter. He would be frozen in time for me; I knew already....

Very evocative. Particularly like "red curl of death" and "slippery and moss-alive." Different but vivid.

UrbanAmazon · Mar 26, 2012

bearilou said:
^^^ this

Really. And sometimes, it's different for the season, for the region, for the location.

I live on a farm. There may be a myriad of birds chirping their fool heads off first thing but I really don't hear them over the pathetic croaking that our rooster wanted to call crowing.

Right now, at 5:34am where I'm at, I can hear the frogs. Because I'm so remote but have lived in/near citys quite a bit, I'm struck by the lack of the constant hum of background traffic noise. It's almost too quiet out here.

Off in the distance, I can hear our dogs barking, no doubt chasing away the last of our most current predator threat to our cows and goats.

But the frogs...I can hear the frogs.

I know I might be invoking my own doom here, but I wish I had frogs. In the four years since I've moved here, I've seen all of two frogs in my back yard. The last one involved a lawnmower... completely accidentally.

Here, lately, morning has been nothing but a heavy gray haze. Sky's gray, save for the glow of downtown's lights over the edge of the neighbourhood horizon. The only sound that isn't smothered by all the threat of frost in the air is the sound of me peeling my bare feet from the back deck as I let puppy out for the first pee of the day.

Damn it, I'm ready for spring. Non-Canadian spring.

A.r.p. · Mar 26, 2012

That weird muffled silence of the morning. The dulled quality of the light, like the sun is being filtered through orange paper mache. Birds -- of course, we can't forget the birds -- going about their early morning business. Sailing from the branches. Deep in conversation of their own sort.

The chill that comes after a warm yesterday and before a warm tomorrow. The few remaining stars blinking out of existence in the sky still hazy and swirled with a light spattering of clouds.

There is so much going on in the morning. It's a very descriptive time of day. And inspiring, I think.

PPartisan · Mar 27, 2012

I wake up to the sound of roadworks mornings - I don't know what it is about this part of town but it feels like the street's been torn up and laid down again every day for the last 5 years.

Jonathan Dalar · Mar 27, 2012

It was early. The sun was just barely peeking over the mountains to the east. It was quiet. Too quiet. Normally the birds would be singing their asses off, but not today. Today they were sleeping off a wild bender from the night before. I knew this to be true because there was bird shit all over my car.

Early Morning Description

Wonderfully Irreverent

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

DenturePunk writer

Wonderfully Irreverent

practical experience, FTW

Tell it like it Is

Tell it like it Is

Not as sweet as you think

Back from the land of the dead.

Learning more every day

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interring peace

DenturePunk writer

It must be Thursday.

<><'ing for compliments

Science fiction, horror and fantasy

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