Story telling techniques - clueless

Yukinara · Mar 13, 2012

Let me address my first issue here: I'm an ESL student, English is not my first language. I can tell a story perfectly fine in my own language but it's not the case in English. When I completed my novel and sent it to numerous editors/reviewers. They commented that my story is very good. The plot is nice and characters are likeable.

But the main problem is how I tell the story. Because of my limitation in vocabulary, sometimes I can't convey my feeling and I violate the "show, not tell" rule.

So, right now, my first book is completed and I have enough ideas to get to the 2nd and even the 3rd. But I'm still stuck with 1st book because I don't know where to go. My editors only fix spelling and grammar. I can't have them fix the style because it will cost me a lot of money, again I'm a student.

Long story short: this is what I have
-Ok plot
-Nice characters
-Ok spelling and grammar.

The last thing I need to work on is writing itself. It's frustrating. It's like cooking, I have the best ingredients, but in the end I burnt the dish.

What do you suggest? I really want to get someone to critique my work and tell me where it ticked them off. I want to see a manuscript fulled of red marks and cross-out but I don't know where to start.

Little Ming · Mar 13, 2012

Yukinara said:
Let me address my first issue here: I'm an ESL student, English is not my first language. I can tell a story perfectly fine in my own language but it's not the case in English. When I completed my novel and sent it to numerous editors/reviewers. They commented that my story is very good. The plot is nice and characters are likeable.

But the main problem is how I tell the story. Because of my limitation in vocabulary, sometimes I can't convey my feeling and I violate the "show, not tell" rule. This isn't so much a "rule" as a writing exercise for new writers to force them to use more descriptive language. Sometimes showing is better, sometimes telling is better. It's up to the writer to decide which tool to use.

So, right now, my first book is completed and I have enough ideas to get to the 2nd and even the 3rd. But I'm still stuck with 1st book because I don't know where to go. My editors only fix spelling and grammar. I can't have them fix the style because it will cost me a lot of money, again I'm a student.

Style isn't something anyone can "fix" for you. It's something you development from experience and learning. I would be suspicious of any editor who claims to be able to "fix" your style.

Long story short: this is what I have
-Ok plot
-Nice characters
-Ok spelling and grammar.

The last thing I need to work on is writing itself. It's frustrating. It's like cooking, I have the best ingredients, but in the end I burnt the dish.

What do you suggest? I really want to get someone to critique my work and tell me where it ticked them off. I want to see a manuscript fulled of red marks and cross-out but I don't know where to start.

Read more. Read everything. See what others have done, figure out which style suits you.

After you get to 50 posts you can post something in SYW. The critters there will then take it apart for you. For free.

Yukinara · Mar 13, 2012

thank you, that really helps, now I just need someone to tear down the story and tell me what's wrong with it.

CharacterInWhite · Mar 13, 2012

Read a lot.

Read in your genre. Read outside it. Go back and read in your genre again.

After you've found a few books that you like, try copying a few of their pages word for word. This is not writing you're doing to sell, but to learn, so you don't have to worry about copyright infringement. When you copy the works of others, you tend to learn their voice and use it.

In other words, one way to improve/learn style is to imitate. One of my professors would insist it's the only way. I haven't tried others because the method worked well for me.

dangerousbill · Mar 13, 2012

Yukinara said:
thank you, that really helps, now I just need someone to tear down the story and tell me what's wrong with it.

You seem to have a pretty good command of English right now.

I'd suggest finding a critique group where you will learn to evaluate the work of others as well as have your own work evaluated. It's the cheapest and most effective way of seeing how your work stands against that of other writers.

Little Ming · Mar 14, 2012

RE: ESL

If you are able to tell a story in you native language, have you tried translating that style into English? I actually find that most of my favorite authors all have a similar writing style, regardless of the language, and that style has influenced my own.

You should still read more English literature to see how it is done in English, but I don't think you necessarily need to reinvent a whole new writing style if you already have one you are comfortable with.

Archerbird · Mar 14, 2012

Yukinara said:
Let me
But the main problem is how I tell the story. Because of my limitation in vocabulary, sometimes I can't convey my feeling and I violate the "show, not tell" rule.

It doesn't have to be because of the vocabulary. Read a lot of English literature and take notice of what other authors do.

Garriga · Mar 14, 2012

I have problems finding the right words to convey my vision too. I suggest Merriam-Webster's Vocabulary Builder. It teaches Greek and Latin roots of English words.

If you haven't already, read The Elements of Style by William Strunk and E.B. White. Also, I suggest reading Fiction Writers's Handbook by Hallie and Witt Burnett.

Story telling techniques - clueless

Yukinara

The Exile

Little Ming

Yukinara

The Exile

CharacterInWhite

Kind of a big deal

dangerousbill

Retired Illuminatus

Little Ming

Archerbird

Nightowl

Garriga