father, dad, mother, mom

Sometimes I call my dad, 'Dad' and sometimes I call my father 'Father'. I don't think I would find it jerky. If you think it is jerky or if you think it is disrupting the flow 'Father' I've always figured was used in more formal conversation whereas 'Dad' in informal conversations. So what you would want is the title to fit the mood of the scene or fit the location. I believe these two elements--if it does have a jerky nature--will help make it go unnoticed. Sometimes being silly I say, "Mother dear, can you pass the salt?" But normally I'll call my mom, 'Mom'. It all depends on the mood and scene.

Whose POV are you in? Usually you should call them whatever your POV character would call them.

Just don't do this:

John Smith knocked on his mother's door. Sally P. Smith answered.
"Oh, hi, son," said Mom.
"Hi, Mumma. It's been too long."
His weary old mum nodded and held out her spindly arms. "Come to Mommy," she said. "Come to Mama."

gettingby said:

Can you switch back and forth between father and dad and mother and mom or should you pick one and stick with it? I find that I keep switching between father and dad in my WIP. Is this going to make the writing sound jerky and not flow as nicely? Or is it OK to keep switching back and forth?

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Obviously it depends on who you're talking to and/or about, and the situation you're in. IMHO I'd find it odd for a character to address their parents with a casual name in one conversation and then a formal one in the next, unless they were joking. If the character is, however, talking about their parents to someone, then I guess it would depend on the level of formality or informality they had with that person. That I remember, most of the characters in novels I've read refer to their parents, or have their parents referred to by the narrator, as mother and father.

My first-person protagonist tends to use 'my father' in narrative and 'Dad' in dialogue. You can exploit the different words to reflect different attitudes at different times. My protag really doesn't get on with his father all that well, so 'my father' creates a distancing effect, whereas referring to him in narrative as 'Dad' would make them seem closer.

Take a look at where you've used which word. Is your choice of word helping or working against the impression you're trying to give of their relationship in each scene?

I've known a person who refers to her parents using a variety of names... Mother (she was relating on distant adult-adult level) "Mother, can you give me a ride to... "; Mom (relating like a close friend) "Oh Mom, quit trying to make a fuss about... "; then Mommy (relating child/adult) "Here mommy, take your pills while I get the... "

The word she chooses depends entirely on her frame of mind when she's relating to her mother. Oddly the child/adult could be either direction as caretaker or as child.

NOW, when she talked to me about her mother, she does the same thing, sliding between Mom, Mother and Mommy according to her internal emotional state. I don't think she even realizes that she says Mommy at all. But if she's sad (say missing her or talking about how things used to be), she exclusively uses Mommy. If she's agitate/angry it is Mother. If she's on an even keel or being factual, it is Mom.

The reason I even became aware of her paterns is because I find it odd for a 50 year old to use the term Mommy (especially as often as this person does).

My 15 yo daughter calls me Dad unless she's buttering me up for something, then it's Daddy.

llamafarmer said:

If the character is, however, talking about their parents to someone, then I guess it would depend on the level of formality or informality they had with that person.

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This is when I tend to use father and mother. "Well, as my father always said, just let a sleeping dog lie." Where when I'm talking to my parents directly it's usually mom or dad unless, as I stated above, I decide to be silly and say mother dear.

Occasionally I'll call my father, mein vater because he taught me some German while I was home-schooled and I had to take a language course.

If I'm talking to my dad, I call him "Dad". If I'm telling someone else about my dad, I often refer to him "my father", but I do use "my dad" too.

If it sounds organic and natural to your inner ear, I don't think there's any problem with mixing up the two usages.

I slip between Mother, Mom, and Momma when I talk to my mother, depending entirely on the conversation. Generally I use "Mother" when I'm irritated or pretending I'm irritated, like parents use middle names. I use Mom and Momma interchangeably, although if I'm feeling puny or sad I probably use Momma more.

I use Dad and Daddy equally, and rarely (if ever) refer to my father as Father.

If I'm talking to someone else about them, though, I will like say "My mother," or "My father," or sub in Mom and Dad. I see it as varying levels of formality in addressing them, if that makes any sense.

It depends on your protagonist, but I think that if you establish early on that they use both, then it shouldn't be an issue. Everyone's different.

I would take "Dad" or "Mom" in a more casual and layed back sense, or in a less "posh" so to speak. I would use father or mother in a more formal situation, or when the family is more "posh". (Sorry for using the work posh, i couldnt think of any other ways to describe it.)

Make sure you capitalize properly, whichever you go with. I've seen this mistake a lot in casual writing. If you're addressing the person, or referring to them as if "Mom" or "Father" is their name, it's capitalized, but if you're referring to them generically as your parent, it's lowercase.

Therefore: "Have you seen my shoes, Mother?" and "Did Dad find his missing golf clubs?" vs. "My mother and I went to the zoo today," and "I haven't seen my dad in ten years."

At least, that's how I was taught it.

PEBKAC said:

My 15 yo daughter calls me Dad unless she's buttering me up for something, then it's Daddy.

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I'm a 21-year-old daughter and I still use this.

My dad is never "father," but I use "mother" and "mom" and "mommy" with my mom depending on the context.

"Mom, can you pass me the ___"
"Mom. Mom. MOTHER. LISTEN TO ME."
"Thank you, Mommy. <3"

I call my parents Ma and Pa. Lazy speaker.

In conversation with someone else or when I'm thinking about them it's mom and dad/mother father.

If you're writing from your MC's perspective, use the words your character would use. For example, if she calls her mother "mum", use that. However, if she's angry, she may say "my mother".

As another poster said, just don't jump all over the place unnecessarily.