First Chapter problems

jojocookie · Mar 2, 2012

The first chapter has my MC hiding. Because she is hiding there is no dialogue. No other person to talk to except for herself.

For this reason I inserted a short dream.

I have already told the reader that this is a dream. The dream scene is short.

I know that this is something that could turn an agent away, fast.

Guess I'm doomed from the start.

amschilling · Mar 2, 2012

Not necessarily doomed, but is the dream necessary or did you just put it in because there was no dialog?

A chapter can work with internal monologue only. As long as things are happening, and we're hearing her thoughts, she doesn't need to actually talk to someone.

And one of the things about rules is that they can all be broken if they work and the passage is done well. In general starting a story with a dream is considered a cheap trick, but that doesn't mean it can never be pulled off.

K.L. Bennett · Mar 2, 2012

If the dream sequence was only thrown in because there was no dialogue, I'd say cut it. It sounds contrived, so readers may pick up on that, and they won't like it. Without more details, I can't really say anything definitive, but that's my first impression.

I've read plenty of books where a character is solitary for stretches of time, and while some authors use flashbacks and dream sequences to punctuate the quiet, it certainly isn't necessary. The character may not have anyone to talk to, but I doubt she's just sitting staring blankly at a wall. There will (should be) internal dialogue, she should be making observations about her surroundings and her situation, thinking of ways to escape or how to remedy whatever conflict she's found herself in.

LAgrunion · Mar 2, 2012

Dream sequence. Lack of dialogue... I don't think those are deal breakers.

As a reader, I've read all kinds of interesting openings. You can have exciting action, beautiful description of setting, intriguing introduction of characters, provocative inner thoughts...

You said that she is in hiding. My interest is already piqued. How does she feel? Anxious? Scared? What is she wearing? Is she cold, hungry? What is her surrounding like? Is she stressed about people chasing after her? You can build heavy suspense on this hiding premise. There is a lot you can do to make it interesting, without a single word uttered.

In the book "Cold Mountain," Charles Frazier goes on and on in the first several pages without any dialogue. His very first few sentences are about a guy's interaction with flies. That opening evidently worked for him.

hvysmker · Mar 2, 2012

I agree with the above comments. Occasionally I'll start a story with a dream or a flashback.

I can only remember one occasion when that procedure passed the first rewrite. 99% of the time, there's a better way.

One problem with dreams is that a reader wants to know what a story is about. A dream may or may not give an indication.

One thing you could do is add a "Prologue:" at the beginning. I've done that before. For instance, on an end of the world novel I wanted to give the reason while most of civilization was gone. Since the story was in first person present POV, the characters never would have any idea. All they would be expected to know was that they woke up and everyone was dead.

So I wrote that scene in a prologue and stashed it at the beginning of the novel.

That dream could be a prologue, the first chapter starting after it. But, be careful. I'll bet you end up deleting it at the first rewrite.

Charlie

Bufty · Mar 2, 2012

The stated reason for putting the dream sequence in seems a tad flimsy.

Does it serve any real purpose? In other words, is whatever happens next only understood if it is preceded by the dream?

jojocookie said:
The first chapter has my MC hiding. Because she is hiding there is no dialogue. No other person to talk to except for herself.

For this reason I inserted a short dream.

I have already told the reader that this is a dream. The dream scene is short.

I know that this is something that could turn an agent away, fast.

Guess I'm doomed from the start.

jojocookie · Mar 2, 2012

I am really appreciative of the variety of answers. Thank you very much.

Yes, the dream does serve a purpose. As background information. Yet the whole proloque idea intrigues me.

little_e · Mar 2, 2012

You're on your first chapter.
Finish your first draft, then worry about agents.

jojocookie · Mar 2, 2012

Good advice!

The agent problem is a long way off.

Cacophony · Mar 2, 2012

Ignore what may feel like a rocky start until you're actually on the ride. I don't think I've ever started a new project and by the end of the first chapter thought to myself 'hey, yeah this is brilliant'. I've always been more worried about where the next chapter is going. It isn't until I'm mostly finished that I start to agonize over the fact that my first chapter is never a reflection of my last. Of course, that doesn't seem to apply to my current project which has me agonizing over the beginning and I'm just halfway through.

Chazevelt · Mar 2, 2012

Write the rest of your story. By the time you're through, that first chapter you're worried about will either work, or beg for a rewrite. Don't obsess in a first draft- get the story down, then go back and fret over it.

gothicangel · Mar 2, 2012

Well, I think that you're cutting your nose off to spite your face. Your MC is hiding, you have an excellent opportunity to write a taut, suspenseful opening chapter. You don't need the dream sequence.

*My opening chapter features my antagonist being hunted by a war-band of Picts. I don't think there is a need for any dialogue.

I agree with everone else, finish the manuscript first.

jojocookie · Mar 2, 2012

Mary at kitlit told me it would take a lot for her to continue reading. That is without dialogue.

But the dream scene is very important for the story.

I should be writing right now.

I'm procrastinating.

Devil Ledbetter · Mar 2, 2012

jojocookie said:
Mary at kitlit told me it would take a lot for her to continue reading. That is without dialogue.

But the dream scene is very important for the story.

I should be writing right now.

I'm procrastinating.

Yeah, just write it. Nine out of ten* authors end up cutting the first three chapters in the second draft anyway.

*Completely fabricated statistic, but probably has some truth anyway.

BethS · Mar 2, 2012

jojocookie said:
I am really appreciative of the variety of answers. Thank you very much.

Yes, the dream does serve a purpose. As background information. Yet the whole proloque idea intrigues me.

If I may suggest...

Resist the temptation to put backstory into a prologue, or into a dream in chapter one.

Get the reader involved in what's happening right then and there. Build suspense based on current events, not old ones.

mirandashell · Mar 2, 2012

I changed the start of my story three times. Cos by the time I got to the end, it no longer fit.

Don't get hung up on your words. Every word you write is changeable. And unless you've outlined to the nth degree, your story will take you in unexpected directions.

Write it first. Then worry about it.

folkchick · Mar 2, 2012

I think it's possible that you're using the dream as a way to escape the action, instead of handling the action right then and there. Why is she hiding in a closet? What caused her to be afraid? What is she going to do about it? What real-life events led up to this event? Is the closet hot, cramped? Does she have to pee?

These are things to think about instead of introducing dreams.

jojocookie · Mar 2, 2012

I am suffuciently confused. Guess I'll do as you say and get back to work.

folkchick · Mar 2, 2012

Woops! I don't know why I came up that your MC was hiding in a closet. Looks like I read too much into the original post. Sorry about that.

jojocookie · Mar 2, 2012

No you didn't read to much. You are just real smart. Because, yep, she's in a closet, all right.

folkchick · Mar 2, 2012

Good! Well, not good for her, but . . . :tongue

jaksen · Mar 2, 2012

Start your novel any way you want. The important thing is to keep going until the end.

Federator · Mar 3, 2012

I would leave out the 'dream scene' entirely, but include thoughts, ideas and the character assesing the situation in first person. Eg: 'Ok, i've almost made it past the last patrol, just one more....' OR She/He was worried whether she/he could last much longer, hiding was a perlious task. Just a suggestion.

Brigid Barry · Mar 3, 2012

jojocookie said:
The first chapter has my MC hiding. Because she is hiding there is no dialogue. No other person to talk to except for herself.

For this reason I inserted a short dream.

I have already told the reader that this is a dream. The dream scene is short.

I know that this is something that could turn an agent away, fast.

Guess I'm doomed from the start.

Does the dream contribute to the current situation? Why is she hiding? If she's hiding because she doesn't want to be found while she takes a nap then the dream fits. If she's hiding because the people trying to kill her are looking for her she's probably not going to fall asleep and a dream is going to be out of place.

jojocookie · Mar 3, 2012

The dream directly contributes to her hiding. Not only is she hiding in a closet. She lives theres. so her dream takes place during the night when she would normaly be asleep. In fact she doesn't want to wake up and face reality.

But I'll keep writing.

First Chapter problems

jojocookie

amschilling

K.L. Bennett

A floopy flolloper

LAgrunion

not to be taken seriously

hvysmker

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

jojocookie

little_e

Trust: that most precious coin.

jojocookie

Cacophony

Hashtag

Chazevelt

gothicangel

Toughen up.

jojocookie

Devil Ledbetter

Come on you stranger, you legend,

BethS

mirandashell

folkchick

Not a new kid

jojocookie

folkchick

Not a new kid

jojocookie

folkchick

Not a new kid

jaksen

Caped Codder

Federator

14 and writing.

Brigid Barry

🧂🐎👩

jojocookie