Better descriptions

I don't knwo about a site. But practice helps - try sitting i a coffee shop or book shop and writing potted descriptions of everyone around you. Pick the most unusual or interesting details about them and use them. Keep at it.

A site to learn descriptions? There's plenty of advice here. More importantly, there's help on your bookshelf. Sounds like a cop-out, but it's true with things like this. Look at your favourite books, see what they do and when they do it, then have a go at doing it yourself. Think of your POV and the tone you're writing in, find descriptions that lend themselves to these things so they don't seem alien to the narrative.

I think reading more helps this problem more than any website will. I have a special notebook that I try to keep with me when I read. When I come across a description of something that grabs my attention, I jot it down in my notebook. Then I later play with it, rearrange words or use the metaphor in a different way. This is the better way to come up with an interesting writing voice. A second option is to rent or buy a descriptionary by Marc McCutcheon. Actually, if you search it on Amazon you'll find similar books by other authors. Even though I think reading more is the best way to go about it, I understand not everyone can steal time to do it.

There are a number of sites that give advice about describing characters. I looked at a few of those sites and found them awful.

Here's a small tip: In addition to the basic height-weight-hair etc. (if you feel those are necessary--they aren't always), pick a typical action or behavioral trait for a character: "Monica pushed her hair back. She always did that when she was angry." "Rupert's voice, already shrill, rose another octave when he told us what had happened." "The lady in black was carrying a large green bag. I don't know what was inside, but I could swear it moved."

Those aren't great, but maybe they will give you the idea.

That kind of thing works well with minor characters. With your MC you'll need more, of course. Above all, avoid the cursed mirror!

ambitious,

be aware the flip side of the coin, which is a boatload of description and/or improbably description through elaborate and ridiculous simile/metaphor will also mark you as just as new a writer as too little......read a few of your favorite books, carefully, and see how much or little description is really present.

I agree with quickline-- consider that you might not need very much physical description at all! You have your mental picture of your characters, and you know their hair colour and eye colour etc.-- but sometimes it's not that important the audience know this stuff. Picking up on just a couple, telling attributes can be much more worthwhile. By 'telling attributes' I mean those things that are influenced by the character, not that they are just born with-- the way they do their hair, or their quirks when they're nervous-- and/or highlighting the physical aspects that corrospond with their characters.

I'm thinking of the character Brett in Hemingway's the Sun Also Rises, the woman at the centre of the book, with whom our narrator is hopelessly and pointlessly in love. When we meet her she is described as "having curves like a racing yacht" (more or less; quoting from memory!) and that she has her hair brushed back like a boy's (in the 20s). She's also surrounded by admirers (not physical description, but a more 'telling' way of saying she's hot). I don't think we ever get any more physical details about her-- we don't know her hair colour or her height or anything-- but she is not hard to picture.

The reader is never going to picture your character exactly like you do-- so using just enough description that they get the essence of your character is far more important, and much stronger, than going into detail!

Also, as far as working on description, definitely read and observe! And/or think about the people you know-- how can you describe them, in as few sentences as possible, in a way that evokes who they are?

Ambitious said:

Hi all. I'm in the process of researching online the best ways to make my writing more appealing, my current target is to master the difference between telling and showing.

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Showing isn't necessarily superior. If you're going to describe your characters (and you don't even have to, as others have pointed out) what you want is a vibrant detail or two that the reader can latch onto. Whether you show or tell that detail is less important.

I can't even begin to tell you how tired I am of seeing attempts to "show" what a character looks like by having her touch her hair (giving the author an oh-so-convenient excuse to describe its color and texture), then having the character tug at her clothes (giving the author an oh-so-convenient excuse to describe them) followed by fingering her jewelry, or what have you. It may be "show," but it's tedious, transparent and predictable. Worse, the description stays mired purely in the physical/visual realm. We never learn of the heat they're throwing off, the scents, the vibes.

Honestly, the best character descriptions I see are usually in interviews in Rolling Stone or Spin. Obviously you can't copy them, but they can provide examples of how to do it well.

Here's one on Julian Asange by Michael Hasting (RS)

Assange sits on a tattered couch, wearing a wool sweater, dark pants and an electronic manacle around his right ankle, visible only when he crosses his legs. At 40, the WikiLeaks founder comes across more like an embattled rebel commander than a hacker or journalist.

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/politic...olling-stone-interview-20120118#ixzz1nhn4FFYr

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Note how Assange needn't tug at his clothing or futz with his manacle for the writer to describe it. It's in tell. So what?

Go ahead and use tell, just make it good.

Your reader doesn't necessarily need to know what the character looks like.

When it comes to description in general, I think focusing on a few tiny, odd details are what make an image bloom in a reader's mind. You can trust the human imagination to fill in the blanks.

"She had nearly-black freckles spattered across rich-hued skin and a weightless cloud of hair."

Hopefully, you pictured something there. It may not be what I intended you to see, but (possibly) you got a mental image. By focusing on the unusual details, the writer prompts the reader's imagination to fill in the mundane details.

Ambitious said:

One of many problems is the way in which I describe my characters; I use basic and uninteresting descriptions such as "Tall, slim, dark hair..." etc. Very boring I'm sure you'll agree. I was wondering if their was a site which helps people such as myself learn better and more interesting ways to describe my characters?

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JoB wrote a very helpful post on that topic recently, but I'm not sure which thread it's in or how to find it. However, she also used it as a blog post, so the link to that is here.

Basically, you use description to characterize, not only the person being described but the person doing the describing.

I had found this a while ago and saved it on my computer should I need it. Showing a character doesn't have to be elaborate. Simply saying, tall, dark, and handsome to me is fine. I actually hate it when writers try to get too writerly. Some descriptions just don't sound attractive and make my face crinkled. Like saying 'orbs' for eyes. Ugh, makes me quiver every time. Sometimes what I do is I take books I don't really like and just read them for description and then highlight things I think were described well.


Face Shape

* Square
* Oval
* Round
* Triangular
* Heart-shaped

Skin/Face/Complexion/Countenance (Complexion is the natural appearance and color of the skin, especially of the face; e.g. Mary has a soft, creamy complexion.

* Freckled: sprinkled or covered with light brown spots
* Rosy: pink-cheeked; fair complexion that glows with a hint of pink
* Ruddy: skin that has a healthy reddish tint; may have the appearance of sunburn
* Tanned: skin with a healthy golden-brown tint
* Wrinkled: full of or covered with lines or loose folds of skin; often associated with age
* Other skin-related adjectives: pale, spotless, silky, smooth, creamy, baby-soft, glowing, paper-thin or translucent (as with a very old person); rough, callused, dry

Eyes

General

* Brown-eyed mother, bright-eyed sister, wide-eyed child

Eye expressions:

* Adj. eyes: piercing, mesmerizing, sad, sorrowful, tear-filled, gentle, sympathetic, warm, compassionate, expressive, twinkling, lively, dancing, laughing

Eye Shape and Size

* Large, small, almond-shaped, round, slanted, squinty, crinkly

Mouth/Lips

* Thin lips, full lips, pouting lips, pursed lips (puckered up, like when someone is concentrating)
* Laugh, smile, beam, grin, frown, grimace, scowl

Hair

Texture/Appearance

* wavy, curly, straight, spiky, stiff, buzzed, shaved, parted, neatly-combed, tamed, long, short, cropped

Hair Styles

* braids, ponytail, pigtails, bun, twist, bob, ringlets, flip, bangs, buzz
* layered, feathered, chopped, gelled, spiked, slicked down

Lots of hair

* thick, full, lustrous, bushy, coarse, wiry (stiff)

Little hair

* thin, scraggly, fine, baby-fine, wispy, limp, flat, balding, bald, bald spot, receding hairline (gradual loss of hair at the front of the head)

Treated hair

* permed, dyed, bleached, highlighted, weaved

Hair colors

* black, brunette, brown, chestnut-brown, honey-blond, blond, golden-blond, ash-blond, auburn, red, strawberry-blond, gray, silver, white, salt-and-pepper

Facial Hair

* Beard, goatee, mustache, sideburns
* Five o’clock shadow: new beard growth, shadowy in appearance, that can be seen late in the day on the jaw, chin, or cheek area (also known as stubble)
* Adjectives: bearded, unshaven, clean-shaven, trimmed, neatly-trimmed

Clothing

* Fabric: denim, twill, wool, cotton, tweed, polyester, corduroy, fleece, spandex, leather
* Bottoms: jeans, cargo pants, flat-front pants, pleated pants, slacks, trousers, overalls, sweatpants, crop pants, capris, skirt, culottes, shorts, board shorts
* Tops: sport shirt, dress shirt, polo shirt, button-down shirt, tank top, blouse, long-sleeve, short-sleeve, sleeveless, collared, T-shirt, sweatshirt, hoodie, pullover, sweater, cardigan
* Other clothing: dress, uniform, costume, pajamas, bathrobe, robe, vest, jacket, blazer, coat, socks, stockings, gloves, hat, cap, shoes, boots, slippers, sandals, flip-flops, heels, pumps

Sentence Starters Describing Clothes

* Smartly dressed in (name of garment), she...
* Casually attired in (name of garment), Jolene…
* Simply clad in (name of garment), Mark...
* Dennis sports a (name of garment)…

This is something I got in an e-mail about 100 facial expressions.

1. Absent: preoccupied
2. Agonized: as if in pain or tormented
3. Alluring: attractive, in the sense of arousing desire
4. Appealing: attractive, in the sense of encouraging goodwill and/or interest
5. Beatific: see blissful
6. Bilious: ill-natured
7. Black: angry or sad, or see hostile
8. Bleak: see grim and hopeless
9. Blinking: surprise, or lack of concern
10. Blissful: showing a state of happiness or divine contentment
11. Blithe: carefree, lighthearted, or heedlessly indifferent
12. Brooding: see anxious and gloomy
13. Bug eyed: frightened or surprised
14. Chagrined: humiliated or disappointed
15. Cheeky: cocky, insolent
16. Cheerless: sad
17. Choleric: hot-tempered, irate
18. Coy: flirtily playful, or evasive
19. Crestfallen: see despondent
20. Darkly: with depressed or malevolent feelings
21. Deadpan: expressionless, to conceal emotion or heighten humor
22. Dejected: see despondent
23. Derisive: see sardonic
24. Despondent: depressed or discouraged
25. Doleful: sad or afflicted
26. Dour: stern or obstinate; see also despondent
27. Downcast: see despondent
28. Dreamy: distracted by daydreaming or fantasizing
29. Ecstatic: delighted or entranced
30. Etched: see fixed
31. Faint: cowardly, weak, or barely perceptible
32. Fixed: concentrated or immobile
33. Furtive: stealthy
34. Gazing: staring intently
35. Glancing: staring briefly as if curious but evasive
36. Glaring: see hostile
37. Glazed: expressionless due to fatigue or confusion
38. Gloomy: see despondent and sullen
39. Glowering: annoyed or angry
40. Glowing: see radiant
41. Grim: see despondent; also, fatalistic or pessimistic
42. Grave: serious, expressing emotion due to loss or sadness
43. Haunted: frightened, worried, or guilty
44. Hopeless: depressed by a lack of encouragement or optimism
45. Hostile: aggressively angry, intimidating, or resistant
46. Hunted: tense as if worried about pursuit
47. Impassive: see deadpan
48. Inscrutable: mysterious, unreadable
49. Jeering: insulting or mocking
50. Languid: lazy or weak
51. Leering: see meaningful; also, sexually suggestive
52. Meaningful: to convey an implicit connotation or shared secret
53. Mild: easygoing
54. Mischievous: annoyingly or maliciously playful
55. Moody: see sullen
56. Pained: affected with discomfort or pain
57. Pallid: see wan
58. Peering: with curiosity or suspicion
59. Peeved: annoyed
60. Petulant: see cheeky and peeved
61. Pitying: sympathetic
62. Pleading: seeking apology or assistance
63. Pouting: see sullen
64. Quizzical: questioning or confused
65. Radiant: bright, happy
66. Roguish: see mischievous
67. Sanguine: bloodthirsty, confident
68. Sardonic: mocking
69. Scornful: contemptuous or mocking
70. Scowling: displeased or threatening
71. Searching: curious or suspicious
72. Set: see fixed
73. Shamefaced: ashamed or bashful
74. Slack-jawed: dumbfounded or surprised
75. Sly: cunning; see also furtive and mischievous
76. Snarling: surly
77. Sneering: see scornful
78. Somber: see grave
79. Sour: unpleasant
80. Stolid: inexpressive
81. Straight-faced: see deadpan
82. Sulky: see sullen
83. Sullen: resentful
84. Taunting: see jeering
85. Taut: high-strung
86. Tense: see taut
87. Tight: see pained and taut
88. Unblinking: see fixed
89. Vacant: blank or stupid looking
90. Veiled: see inscrutable
91. Wan: pale, sickly; see also faint
92. Wary: cautious or cunning
93. Wide eyed: frightened or surprised
94. Wild eyed: excited, frightened, or stressful
95. Wistful: yearning or sadly thoughtful
96. Withering: devastating; see also wrathful
97. Woeful: full of grief or lamentation
98. Wolfish: see leering and mischievous
99. Wrathful: indignant or vengeful
100. Wry: twisted or crooked to express cleverness or a dark or ironic feeling

I added a few of my own -- surly -- quixotic meaning excessively romantic, impractical, impulsive -- quiescent meaning quiet still or at rest -- hesitant -- and dubious meaning hesitant, doubtful, wavering

Some good advice here. A couple of additional notes:

Make sure your description matches your character's role in the story. A guy with a one page walk on role shouldn't get more than a sentence of description -- the reader will expect him to be important if there's big description. On the other hand, the main character will need a lot more description.

When practicing, focus on being fresh. "He was tall and thin," is not very fresh. Push for instant images that speak:

The first thing that struck her was that John reminded her of a vulture. If she looked at his eyes or his face, he had a kind way about him. But when she put that with how he held his body, she couldn't help feeling he was waiting to pick at her bones.

With description, it can get really creative. Try using emotion to help play into the description. I still remember this one guy who was dating a friend of mine. If someone passed him in the mall, they might not have even noticed him. He was brown haired, balding, and really average looking. But every one of us who talked to this guy was creeped out, even with a brief "Hi." That's a quality a simple physical description wouldn't bring across, but add the emotions into the description, and he becomes scary. It's not all about what someone looks like. It's about what sound like, smell like, and what impression they give the other characters.

I'm just going to repeat what a lot of people have already said. You do want to describe your characters, but you don't want to over describe them as well. If you do, you'll end up with a huge wall of text or info dump, which isn't good. You kind of want to describe enough, if that makes sense. Just a few sentences, and probably small ones at that could do it.

@Quentin Nokov : Those are some great descriptions you posted. They are really helpful.

The point about not investing too much in very minor characters reminds me of a character in one of Stephen King's books. He pops up in the middle of the book, lengthy description, we're exposed to some deep thoughts, he's really being fleshed out. Just when I'm wondering where this guy fits into the story, he's crushed to death by a coke machine on the next page.

PEBKAC said:

The point about not investing too much in very minor characters reminds me of a character in one of Stephen King's books. He pops up in the middle of the book, lengthy description, we're exposed to some deep thoughts, he's really being fleshed out. Just when I'm wondering where this guy fits into the story, he's crushed to death by a coke machine on the next page.

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Hi PEBKAC do you have the book title and where I can find it?
Many thanks!

Good points here -- sometimes I link descriptions of characters to what is driving them or what has just happened in the plot, a way of indicating their stress or obliviousness, clues to their state of mind.

A character is going for her mastectomy in the hospital in the same hospital where her woman lover died. She was not allowed to stay with her lover, who was dying, because the hospital and the lover's family did not recognise her as next of kin.

In the opening scene she sits on a bench in the admissions ward and swings her legs back and forth like an angry schoolgirl, scuffing the tiles. I wanted that acting out to indicate her powerlessness and anger.

With one more thing to add, I actually hate reading large paragraphs of a character's description. Space out their attributes, because when you fist met someone you don't notice all their features. They might have a tattoo on their arm, which you won't see until summer when they're wearing tank-top.

Remember, you have a whole book to describe your character a few details in chapter one and a few me in chapter two and a couple more in chapter three is the way I like to read description. Big clunky paragraphs that go through everything: the hair color, the hair style, eye color & shape, body build, clothing, nose shape, shape of face, if they have dimples, big ears, high cheek bones. I don't remember all these details. Space appropriately and the character becomes clearer.

Also a few redundancies in the book--if done well--isn't a problem because then it reminds the reader. She has red hair when they may have distorted the image of your character as having blonde. Not that it's really important, but some of my characters I really want my readers to visualize. ;D

Less is more. Readers will be quick to fill in descriptions you don't supply for them. I only give what descriptions are necessary for the story, as opposed to trying to present a portrait for the reader.

nice advice here. like the list of those 100 facial expressions.

your favorite books will be of use here. go back and read some, take notes on how those authors describe their characters, maybe there are some words or lines you hadn't thought about before you could shape into your own. i always find reading is the best place for writing research.

1) As with any other description, find a way to hook it into the readers mind, by using something that catches their interest rather than something they have seen a thousand times before.

He wore a cloak drawn to his chin even in the heat of summer, and his nose ran constantly.

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2) You can say something indirectly, by speaking about the effect that characteristic has on other people and the environment.

His hair was greasy.
vs
There were grease marks on the wall behind him, evidence of how seldom he stayed awake during lectures.

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3) Rather than describing what someone looks like, its sometimes better to describe how the person acts in his natural habitat and allow the reader to fill in the blanks.

Under his ass, the couch had worn down to the springs, yet there he sat, staring at the static on the tv as if the reruns hadn’t ended 3 hours ago. He rested his Budweiser on his stomach; there was certainly enough room for it, and bit into his ham sandwich. Mustard squirted down his shirt, covering the stain from last week’s chicken bucket.

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Personally, I find that showing is better used when describing what the character is doing, not so much in what they look like. Pick your favorite book, then see how the author describes what the character is doing.

Learn how to turn a phrase. For instance, I just wrote a prologue for my new WIP entitled "Tall, Dark, & Blandsome", which is fitting because it's making fun of Eurotrash vampires.

Also, not every work needs a lot of character description. If you're not coming up with anything interesting, maybe it's because you have nothing interesting to say about what the characters look like. Unless their appearance is super-critical to the story, you can leave it out.

MelodySRV said:

Personally, I find that showing is better used when describing what the character is doing, not so much in what they look like. Pick your favorite book, then see how the author describes what the character is doing.

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I also think that approach is little bit smoother when read, but I don't know. I don't always remember to follow it myself.

...I like my thesaurus...