I just realized that most of my sentences on my completed novel are complex or compound sentences. Is that okay? Or do I need to rewrite to mix in some simple sentences?
Thanks for your help.
Thanks for your help.
Lacking simple sentences.
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I don't think there's a black or white answer to your question. If your writing is good then it's good, no matter how you structure your sentences. People have different styles. Some write with simple structures; some write with complex ones.
IMHO, as long as you're not always using the exact same structure, I'd say you're fine if that's your style. That being said, if your writing is abstruse a la Faulkner, it will be a hard sell unless it's really really really good.
IMHO, as long as you're not always using the exact same structure, I'd say you're fine if that's your style. That being said, if your writing is abstruse a la Faulkner, it will be a hard sell unless it's really really really good.
Let's put it this way:
1. Even William Faulkner, justly famed (or vilified, depending on your critical view) for the complexity of his sentences, interspersed those very complex constructions with very simple ones. The same can be said for Joseph Conrad.
2. A lot of great writers use very few complex sentences (Kurt Vonnegut comes to mind).
3. The editorial question you need to ask is: Are these sentences complex because they need to be, or are they complex because they should be two or three separate sentences.
I've critiqued people who give me the impression that they believe the universe contains a limited number of punctuation periods, and they really don't want to run out. Try not to be one of those.
caw
1. Even William Faulkner, justly famed (or vilified, depending on your critical view) for the complexity of his sentences, interspersed those very complex constructions with very simple ones. The same can be said for Joseph Conrad.
2. A lot of great writers use very few complex sentences (Kurt Vonnegut comes to mind).
3. The editorial question you need to ask is: Are these sentences complex because they need to be, or are they complex because they should be two or three separate sentences.
I've critiqued people who give me the impression that they believe the universe contains a limited number of punctuation periods, and they really don't want to run out. Try not to be one of those.
caw
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How readable is it? Have you tried reading it aloud to check flow and cadence? Are there high-tension areas that are being stifled by wordiness?
My guess is you probably do need some shorter and more to-the-point sentences mixed in, but without knowing anything about your work, that's all the advice I can offer.
My guess is you probably do need some shorter and more to-the-point sentences mixed in, but without knowing anything about your work, that's all the advice I can offer.
I'm not a huge fan of long or complex sentences. They are just too hard to read. I think people generally want to read a good story. If your sentences are too long, then the complexity gets in the way of enjoying a good story. Readers will get tired. Reading shouldn't be a chore. Keep it simple and clear. Let your story be the focus. Don't do things that will detract from the storytelling.
Sometimes writers get too caught up in writing nice language. They end up with marathon sentences filled with overly flowery prose. I'm guilty of overwriting too, but I try to weed it out when I edit.
On the other hand, you're writing a novel, not a microwave manual. A book full of simple, short sentences may sound too choppy and unnatural. I'd put in some longer sentences to mix it up. Just don't overdo it. More variety, less reader fatigue.
Try reading your sentences out loud. It helps me weed out awkward syntax.
In sum, I'd say: keep it mostly simple, but mix in some complexity to avoid monotony.
Sometimes writers get too caught up in writing nice language. They end up with marathon sentences filled with overly flowery prose. I'm guilty of overwriting too, but I try to weed it out when I edit.
On the other hand, you're writing a novel, not a microwave manual. A book full of simple, short sentences may sound too choppy and unnatural. I'd put in some longer sentences to mix it up. Just don't overdo it. More variety, less reader fatigue.
Try reading your sentences out loud. It helps me weed out awkward syntax.
In sum, I'd say: keep it mostly simple, but mix in some complexity to avoid monotony.
I popped over to the SYW submission and couldn't help noticing a tendency to tack unnecessary or over-explanatory phrases on to the end of sentences.
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Nothing wrong with complex sentences, but they do affect pacing. Short, simple sentences make things move quicker and show more urgency. So look at it that way. Do you have a place where things should be moving fast, but everything is complex? Those sentences could probably stand to be shortened and streamlined.
Example:
There was a ping of metal on the fire escape across from me, but it was too dark for me to see why. There was someone up there, though. I would have bet my blog money on it. I turned to face the two vampires behind me, wondering if the noise had been from more vampires or a homeless guy. Only three had come out of the subway, so if one little goof warranted them calling in backup, I was probably worse than screwed. I was dead.
vs.
Metal pinged. There was someone up there. I turned to face the two vampires. If they'd called in backup I was worse than screwed. I was dead.
Example:
There was a ping of metal on the fire escape across from me, but it was too dark for me to see why. There was someone up there, though. I would have bet my blog money on it. I turned to face the two vampires behind me, wondering if the noise had been from more vampires or a homeless guy. Only three had come out of the subway, so if one little goof warranted them calling in backup, I was probably worse than screwed. I was dead.
vs.
Metal pinged. There was someone up there. I turned to face the two vampires. If they'd called in backup I was worse than screwed. I was dead.
Thank you very that replied.
If anyone is interested I have a sample of my writing up on SYW/YA. The link if for the latest revision, where I tried to add some simple sentences to the mix. So it sort of a before and after.
I'm not very good with simple sentences for some reason. Maybe it's because English is not my first language.
@amschilling Thanks for the example, it helped a lot. I personally prefer the 1st version. It's more rich in detail. It paints a complete picture. Although it's a bit slower to read.
I'll probably give my MS another pass and add some more simple sentences. I just hope that I'll be able to cut a lot fluff in the process since I don't want to go over 100k words.
Thanks again guys.
If anyone is interested I have a sample of my writing up on SYW/YA. The link if for the latest revision, where I tried to add some simple sentences to the mix. So it sort of a before and after.
I'm not very good with simple sentences for some reason. Maybe it's because English is not my first language.
@amschilling Thanks for the example, it helped a lot. I personally prefer the 1st version. It's more rich in detail. It paints a complete picture. Although it's a bit slower to read.
I'll probably give my MS another pass and add some more simple sentences. I just hope that I'll be able to cut a lot fluff in the process since I don't want to go over 100k words.
Thanks again guys.
Irrespective of whether or not the second passage's staccato rhythm would better suit this narrative, the first passage has a nice sentence-length balance and only one sentence strays past the complexity-threshold for the effective evocation of what's apparently meant to be an urgent narrative (okay, maybe two) and it barely does so, and the second passage, comprising shorter sentences, which, do, traditionally, tend to make the narrative more urgent, doesn't quite have the slow burn, the gradual tense build-up, of the first passage (which isn't necessarily an indictment of the shorter sentences, because one could argue that simply interspersing a few more sentences within those of the second passage would give it that slow burn), although I understand this is only an example created on the spot for the sake of illustrating one point, one dynamic (sentence length vs. perceived urgency), to the exclusion of all others.
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hahaha
To the op: read your book aloud, or portions of it. It if exhausts you to read it aloud, it will exhaust other readers to read it silently from their hardcover, paperback or kindle.
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LOL. Actually I like the first example better, too. It's from my first novel, currently trunked, and how I actually wrote it. I just pulled that paragraph because I was told by agents that the sense of urgency wasn't always great enough, and thought it might make a good example of what they were telling me.
I feel like the length of your sentence can be a tool to play around with the pacing and feeling of your writing.
For example, in Cormac McCarthy's The Road, he uses very short, concise sentences to describe the present timeline of the story. These help match the bleak, minimalist landscape of the setting. But when he writes about a flashback or a dream, he will use long, flowing, and beautifully descriptive sentences. I remember one describing a memory of seeing a hawk flying and diving. The longer sentence helped this memory feel different from the rest of the narrative.
I would echo the other posters and say read your story out loud. Then have someone else read it out loud to you. If the sentences feel exhausting to read, then break them up into smaller ones, or switch them up. But you might be able to find a wonderful flow and rhythm to your longer sentences. Play around!
Whenever I get stressed about not having shorter sentences, I just think about Jose Saramago. Dude's got sentences that go on for pages!
For example, in Cormac McCarthy's The Road, he uses very short, concise sentences to describe the present timeline of the story. These help match the bleak, minimalist landscape of the setting. But when he writes about a flashback or a dream, he will use long, flowing, and beautifully descriptive sentences. I remember one describing a memory of seeing a hawk flying and diving. The longer sentence helped this memory feel different from the rest of the narrative.
I would echo the other posters and say read your story out loud. Then have someone else read it out loud to you. If the sentences feel exhausting to read, then break them up into smaller ones, or switch them up. But you might be able to find a wonderful flow and rhythm to your longer sentences. Play around!
Whenever I get stressed about not having shorter sentences, I just think about Jose Saramago. Dude's got sentences that go on for pages!
I. Will. Prove. You. Wrong. By. Using. A. Million. Periods. In. Each. And. Every. Post. Look. At. All. These periods wait where did they go i am pressing the key but-
oh no-
I've run out
The main thing to consider in writing with a view to publication is, will a reader get bored and put it down? And if that reader is an agent you have lost. Too many complex, lengthy sentences will slow the flow or the action or destroy the suspense. A bit of white space and a few short sentences can make a big difference. Of course it depends on the genre, but my preference is for a mix. A short sentence can sometimes speak volumes. A book I am reading at the moment has some complex sentences. In one I counted 56 words. At the other extreme there is a one-sentence paragraph that says: "He played the piano wonderfully." It humanises the character in five words.
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