Sexual abuse in backstory?

Morwen Edhelwen · Feb 22, 2012

So am trying to brainstorm. I'm on the third page and my protagonist is thinking about an old leather satchel he got from the woman he works for when she was fifteen. This woman is about ten years older than him and is married to a military officer. She was the officer's mistress at the time she gave protagonist the satchel.

My problem is that the woman's oldest children are about protagonist's age (fourteen) . How do I deal with a part of the backstory like rape without trivialising it? (Because this book isn't about her, but I would still like to deal with the issue.)

Morwen Edhelwen · Feb 22, 2012

Anyone have opinions? are there any books where a traumatic event is part of a character's backstory but not a significant part of the plot?

Terie · Feb 22, 2012

Morwen. You know how people write books?

THEY SIT DOWN AND WRITE THEM.

Could you imagine if every single one of the millions of people who are writing books posted over 60 questions on internet forums over the course of less than three months? The entire freaking internet would be nothing but questions about writing!

So here's what you need to do:

SIT DOWN AND WRITE YOUR BOOK.

Stop asking questions about every little detail.

JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE YOUR BOOK.

That's how you learn how to write.

BY SITTING DOWN AND WRITING A BOOK.

No one sits down and writes a perfectly formed book the very first time they try. What they do is:

SIT DOWN AND JUST WRITE THE FIRST DRAFT OF THE BOOK.

Most of your questions you'll be able to answer yourself as you practice writing, read more, and start rewriting. But guess what. You can't rewrite until...

YOU FIRST SIT DOWN AND WRITE YOUR BOOK.

You seem to have the idea that one can't write without thousands of people sitting on the sidelines watching and coaching them. But that's not how writing works. It's mostly a solitary endeavor, and we occasionally need to get a bit of help. We don't write by committee or get input on every page as we write it. No, what we do is....

SIT DOWN AND WRITE THE BLOODY BOOK.

Terie · Feb 22, 2012

Morwen Edhelwen said:
Anyone have opinions? are there any books where a traumatic event is part of a character's backstory but not a significant part of the plot?

For *&$£'s sake, Morwen. Can you seriously not wait even twenty minutes for an answer before you bump a thread?

ARE YOU EVEN AWARE THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF AW MEMBERS ARE IN THE US AND IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THERE?

Please. You really have to stop expecting everyone here to hold your hand.

GO WRITE YOUR BOOK!!!!!

Morwen Edhelwen · Feb 22, 2012

I am doing it as I post on this forum.

Terie · Feb 22, 2012

Morwen Edhelwen said:
I just can't figure this part out.

No, you want everyone else to spoon-feed everything to you. And really, you need to stop.

GO WRITE YOUR BOOK, JUST LIKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE REST OF US IS DOING.

Terie · Feb 22, 2012

Morwen Edhelwen said:
I am doing it as I post on this forum.

The purpose of this forum is not to help you write your book paragraph by paragraph.

Morwen Edhelwen · Feb 22, 2012

I know that. But this forum is meant to offer advice.

Polenth · Feb 22, 2012

Morwen Edhelwen said:
How do I deal with a part of the backstory like rape without trivialising it?

How do you think you should handle sexual abuse in someone's backstory? Once you're written your answer, apply it to your book.

Morwen Edhelwen said:
I am doing it as I post on this forum.

Terie doesn't mean that it's physically impossible to write a book and write a question on the forum. The issue is that something being possible doesn't make it a good idea. You are expecting endless answers to be provided, and it's not helping anyone. You don't understand the answers, so they don't help you. Other people get frustrated, so it doesn't help them.

My advice is at the top of my post. It's time to answer your own questions. How would you solve it? What so you think you should do? This isn't a school test, so there's no right or wrong answer. Whatever you decide, do that. You may find out it doesn't work, but that's part of the learning process.

Sometimes you will need outside advice, but not this often.

Morwen Edhelwen · Feb 22, 2012

Polenth said:
How do you think you should handle sexual abuse in someone's backstory? Once you're written your answer, apply it to your book.

Terie doesn't mean that it's physically impossible to write a book and write a question on the forum. The issue is that something being possible doesn't make it a good idea. You are expecting endless answers to be provided, and it's not helping anyone. You don't understand the answers, so they don't help you. Other people get frustrated, so it doesn't help them.

My advice is at the top of my post. It's time to answer your own questions. How would you solve it? What so you think you should do? This isn't a school test, so there's no right or wrong answer. Whatever you decide, do that. You may find out it doesn't work, but that's part of the learning process.

Sometimes you will need outside advice, but not this often.

OK. Thanks, Polenth.

robjvargas · Feb 22, 2012

In my fantasy novel, the female character has a past involving sexual assault.

I think you should look up a book by Patricia Weaver Francisco called Telling: A Memoir of Rape and Recovery.

I wasn't quite as enamored with the book as the reviews of it I read on Amazon, but I *do* think it's a good view into a woman's experience after rape.

Sage · Feb 22, 2012

For the record, I feel the OP is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in AW.

However, Morwen, I think the frustration you're facing from other posters comes from the fact that you've started 61 threads in 3 months, most of which are asking specific questions about how to write your specific novel, many of which are similar to others you've posted (for example, you have many threads asking whether your novel is too similar to the work you're basing it on), and many of which you bump shortly after posting or getting an answer you didn't like. We encourage people to ask questions and learn here, but Terie is right that nobody can write this book but you. At some point you do need to sit down and write it and learn from the experience. You need to read many books in your genre. You need to learn to search the AW forums to see if your question's been answered. Or wait around a second, and maybe someone else will ask a similar (but probably more general so it can apply to you too) question. The best way to learn to write is to do it. Take a break from the forums and put down some words. Take some time to read and see if you can figure out the answers on your own. It will help you in the long run.

I think there is a valuable discussion to be had about how to deal with sexual abuse in a novel. I would be very happy if the thread continued on the particular subject.

alainn_chaser · Feb 22, 2012

For future reference to anyone looking for info on this topic, typically I think that sexual abuse in YA is dealt with if it involves the main character.

However, I can think of a couple good examples:

On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta- I would suggest this book for everything if I could.

Invincible Summer by Hannah Moskowitz (or AW's own Shady Lane) deals with this in a subplot fantastically

That being said there is no set way in which to deal with any issue in a book but I would recommend being familiar with it. Don't try to write about anything like sexual abuse or eating disorders or suicide without research because most of what the general population hears and says about it is wrong. Authenticity is very important and improves literature a lot.

Hope that helps.

KimJo · Feb 22, 2012

The female MC in my Reality Shift series was molested as a child. Throughout the series, she deals with flashbacks and memories of the abuse, as well as physical abuse by her mother. The molestations aren't part of the plot of the series, but coping with them and getting help dealing with them is part of the character's journey. It's an important part of her backstory and of what makes her who she is at the time the series takes place.

theresa.mcclinton · Feb 22, 2012

Well, one of my characters, Tara, comes from an abusive home. Her mother was a hooker, and she had never met her father. The way I explained this was through dialogue.

Tara explained, when asked, why she was put into a certain orphanage that catered to children with psychological issues. She then went on to explain, in a rather uncomfortable way, that her mother whom she lived with until she was five years old, was hardly around. And when she was around, it was only because she was 'entertaining' a 'new friend'. Then, she went on to indicate that she was put in that particular orphanage because often times, her mother would leave her with one of her many boyfriends, and they weren't particularly picky on who entertained them.

I think it is easy enough to reveal a back story, no matter how terrible or horrific it is, either through a journal entry, dialogue, a dream that shows a flashback, anything like that. Then you can do without actually reliving the entire, horrific incident.

I hope I helped. Good luck!

missesdash · Feb 22, 2012

I think it may be harder to do in your diary format. I'm assuming the character reveals this to him? Or does he overhear it?

But also, you've definitely asked waaaaaaay too many questions to only be three pages in! Get to the halfway point and then come back and ask people how they'd approach a problem. Compare it to how you approached the problem. And then if necessary or desired, go back and change.

None of this is set in stone. But at this rate, you will never ever ever finish this manuscript. Three pages? Does that include the title page? Geez. You've got to give us some indication that you're taking this seriously. We've answered enough of your questions for you to have written two entire books.

Morwen Edhelwen · Feb 22, 2012

No, it doesn't include the title page. And it's just implied- Che just says that she (Eva) was her husband's mistress when she was fifteen, and also mentions that she already had a child his age then (five).

BunnyMaz · Feb 22, 2012

Also, even with all the advice in the world from us, the best information will come from you doing your own research, directed by your base ideas and intentions. With stuff like this, you can do so much better reading finished work by people who've written about similar issues, or talking to people who've experienced the things you want to write about and asking them how they would approach it.

Best way to do it? Write it, exactly as you would armed just with the knowledge you have. Then get people to read it and tell you what they think. If you're really uncomfortable writing some scenes this early on? That's okay. It's okay to leave a marker in your work of [backstory paragraph here] or similar, if there are things you want to tackle in more care. But, especially with stuff like this where it isn't even about the main character, you might spend weeks researching, write the novel, then find later during editing that the narrative is better if this particular backstory element is only left implied, rather than explicit. You'll end up deleting maybe a page of work that represents hours of research and days of soul-searching.

Morwen Edhelwen · Feb 22, 2012

Could we get this thread back on its subject, please?

Terie · Feb 22, 2012

Morwen Edhelwen said:
Could we get this thread back on its subject, please?

Srsly? The last five consecutive posts, made over the past three-and-a-half hours, have provided detailed answers to your OP, and you're demanding that we get the thread 'back on its subject'?

Morwen Edhelwen · Feb 22, 2012

Terie said:
Srsly? The last five consecutive posts, made over the past three-and-a-half hours, have provided detailed answers to your OP, and you're demanding that we get the thread 'back on its subject'?

Maybe that's the wrong way of phrasing it.

thebloodfiend · Feb 22, 2012

My advice -- log out of AW and go read more YA books. Start with the most popular books on sexual abuse -- Speak, Such a Pretty Girl, and Lessons From a Dead Girl. Then read more. And more. And more. You've gotten very good advice. You're over thinking. Just read and write. Asking questions is good, but asking question after question will get you nowhere. You have to apply that info. I'm a slow writer -- I've been writing an MS for a week and I only have 7.3k, but three pages after all the questions you've asked about this MS is rather odd.

missesdash · Feb 22, 2012

Morwen Edhelwen said:
No, it doesn't include the title page. And it's just implied- Che just says that she (Eva) was her husband's mistress when she was fifteen, and also mentions that she already had a child his age then (five).

So she was pregnant when she was ten? Intense. But yeah, mentioning it in passing isn't such a big deal. I don't think you need to go out and read all these books on sexual abuse for that single line of implied back story.

Chandy · Feb 22, 2012

missesdash said:
So she was pregnant when she was ten? Intense.

sickmuse · Feb 22, 2012

Hey Morwen,
It seems like you might be stuck in a research rut. I totally get that! My natural instinct is to research everything before I write it, even down to really small things like how many bullets a certain gun holds so I know when the minor character needs to reload! However, this can paralyze me and keep me from focusing on the things I already know, such as my characters and basic plot. A trick that I've found that has really helped me is to put asterisks*** or type a word in ALL CAPS or use some other method to identify things I need to find out more about when I revise. That way I can finish my first draft and then easily remember what needs to be researched afterwards. And if there are things that will take a really long time to investigate, such as one of my MC's being in the military, I put off establishing anything about that that would be hard to change and write what I know first instead.

As for the sexual abuse, I think if you can just show that it's an upsetting thing without going into a lot of detail, since it's a minor character. I would avoid having the character be too perky about it unless she's laughing to keep from crying (which is actually my method of dealing with my past abuse and hard times), but I would also avoid having it consume her or have her randomly burst into tears too much. She won't magically get over it after six months or even 10 years, but it slowly get less painful to think about in time.

Sexual abuse in backstory?

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