Every day someone could be reading one of our stories...

Editors are my first readers, never friends, family, other writers, etc. I see no point in showing anyone a story until after it's published.

The only time I think about someone else reading one of my stories is when I catch someone in public holding or reading one of my books. This has happened a few times, and I never quite know what to do, except find a nearby spot, and watch for reaction.

I agree that its best not to show your work to friends and family until it's published. Unless you are completely uninterested in their response and aren't going to take it on either way.

Friends and family can like or dislike something but not be able to explain why (not helpful). They can also view the work through the prism of knowing you personally, which an editor won't.

I had the experience recently of two male friends reading my work and not liking it. When I dug deeper I realised that they weren't comfortably with a female writing in first person as a male! An editor would (hopefully) not approach my work lumbered with such baggage.

My dad is my first outside eyes on everything, because the man is constantly reading books. I may not know anyone who has read more than him (cos he's also kinda old ). He is also an engineer, and amazingly able to separate emotions from work.

I get worried because I'm always afraid I missed something big. He'll make fun of me for that, for several minutes. And keep on laughing. He's terrible!

I'm glad he reads them first, though. He knows how to get straight to the point about what's wrong and why. We don't always agree (there's a favorite-genre divide), but his points are inevitably something I hear again in other crits.

Completely, totally, absolutely, know what that feels like.

My best friend/husband (cheesy yeah i know) reads most of my stuff first for anything that I send in and the moment I send it to his laptop I'm wanting it done and over with.

He'll never stop in the middle and say anything, he always saves all comments for the end, which drives me even more insane. Shakes, heart pounding, pacing anyone? I'm sure I have enough for everyone to go around. Mine does tend to extend to include the few people that I know who've read my stories, including about a day of banging my head during a first SYW post.

Fortunately (or fortunately, however you wish to look at it) he doesn't feel the need to hold anything back because as he puts it, "No one else will."

*hugs for Jaksen* only thing i've learned to do, is bite onto something and grin and bear it until it's over lol

This is totally me. But I had an ex who was kind of terrible about being supportive of my writing. She fancied herself a really good writer (and she may be, in a completely different genre, but I read a blurb of her fiction and the characters, dialogue, description, and plot fell completely flat, IMO. I think she was trying to write like Margaret Atwood and not quite succeeding) and took it upon herself to try to "improve" my work in a direction I didn't want to take it. I was at a place in my life where I was really depressed and had a lot of bad crap going on, and she didn't have a single nice thing to say about it. We also had issues with her getting upset if I didn't take every piece of advice she gave me (in any area of life), so when I didn't change my story to her liking, there was some conflict.

On the other hand, my current SO is amazing! We both come from extremely similar places in life in terms of family and privilege (or lack thereof) and share similar tastes in reading, so she both understands and enjoys reading what I enjoy writing! It's actually one of the ways I first realized I wanted to be with her. She doesn't hesitate to let me know when something doesn't work for her, such as when I first switched from 1st to 3rd POV, but she's also quick to point out the things she loved about it and why. She also has long conversations with me about what a character would do or feel in various different situations, and leaves me little notes saying things like "To Do Today: Work on that future bestseller!" She doesn't judge me too much if I have to pause a movie (or even sex ) to grab my computer and type up a few inspired sentences. She's amazing!

I honestly don't think I could ever be with someone again who wasn't supportive of my writing. At the very least, I need someone who respects the genre I'm writing and respects my autonomy as a writer, even when they give what they think is amazing advice. Writing is such a huge part of my life every day that if I couldn't talk about a scene I was working on with my SO, I think that might be something that would put a lot of distance between us. I also think it actually works best that she enjoys reading but not writing.

tl;dr I get really nervous too, but I try to only show my WIP to people that I know will respect it!

jaksen said:

But do you do this?

Agonize and watch the clock when you know your story is being read right now in the next room for the first time - by someone near and dear?

Click to expand...

No.

I don't use beta readers any more. I used to. I'd never heard of the concept before joining AW, but thought I'd give it a try. It was fun, but...I'm not entirely sure that I would have written my books much differently if I hadn't used beta readers.

I think it was more of a getting-me-used-to-being-read thing than fretting about technicalities.

After a while, I realised some (not all; only some) of the writers I know who use betas are in it for the ego-stroking; they want to be told how brilliant they are, rather than to receive a true critique, and I got tired of working in that sort of atmosphere.

I also found that most of the beta comments I got were "I really liked this!" which didn't help much. I already know what I do well; tell me where I fail so I can improve on it. Maybe people are scared of me and don't want to criticise; who knows?

These days the first person to read my work is the editor it's heading to. To put it bluntly, I already know how to write something that's good enough to sell. I don't need beta readers to tell me.

But is there still room for improvement? Oh good god, yes. If my editors have a problem with something I'd written, they'd tell me. They have done, and they continue to do so.

I just wish I had a beta reader/crit partner/writing partner who was as brutal as I am, and on the same wavelength. If it ever happens, great, but I won't hold my breath.

Whoa. I don't half ramble, me, eh?

Hah, I'm terrible with this. I usually have my sisters read my WIPs IN FRONT OF ME. I watch every minute reaction on their faces. It's probably quite distracting...

I find my audience and my family have a very different ethos. Somehow, my writing ends up very dark, and I think it scares them. No more reading for them! Not even after it's published. My hubby wouldn't drink my tea for months after one story.

sickmuse said:

I honestly don't think I could ever be with someone again who wasn't supportive of my writing.!

Click to expand...

I hope this doesn't come across as too sexist, but while it is a generalization, it's been my experience that when a woman says "supportive", she means a partner who will read what she writes, interact with her on the writing front, etc.

When a man says "supportive", he usually means a partner who will leave him the hell alone when he wants to go write something.

My wife is extremely supportive. When I tell her I need to go spend a few hours writing, she says, "Okay".

Better, when she finds me loafing, she says, "Go get some writing done."

She does not, thank God, want to read what I write until it's published, and often not even then. She does not, thank God, want to sit around talking about writing, either. When I finish the day's writing, I leave it behind, and I want everyone else around me to do the same.

When a man does want someone else to read his manuscript, or wants to talk about writing, he will most likely find another writer, one who is not part of his family, and share with him.

Writing is what I do. She does something else. Never the twain shall meet.

My bloke is supportive.

He doesn't know I write, and when he sees me typing he does not pry.

He makes me cups of coffee and lets me get on with what ever it is that I'm doing.

There is nothing more supportive than someone who knows when to mind their own business.

Jamesaritchie said:

I hope this doesn't come across as too sexist, but while it is a generalization, it's been my experience that when a woman says "supportive", she means a partner who will read what she writes, interact with her on the writing front, etc.

When a man says "supportive", he usually means a partner who will leave him the hell alone when he wants to go write something.

Click to expand...

I need a mixture of both. And my lady gives me both, so I'm pretty happy. I don't send her a lot of my writing to read (although she did help me convert it when I had a meltdown 35k in and changed my tense and POV), but she's there when I need someone to talk to and generally leaves me alone when I announce I'm going to be writing a while.

Jamesaritchie said:

I hope this doesn't come across as too sexist, but while it is a generalization, it's been my experience that when a woman says "supportive", she means a partner who will read what she writes, interact with her on the writing front, etc.

When a man says "supportive", he usually means a partner who will leave him the hell alone when he wants to go write something.

Click to expand...

I'd like both.

My poor husband listened to the plots of two and half books last night just so he could help me past a bad patch. That's what I'd call supportive, lol.

I used to let friends and family read rough drafts of my work. I've also workshopped stories in a group setting with other writers. I no longer do this however, choosing instead to send my work straight to an editor as soon as it's complete to my satisfaction.

I've decided that I don't really value the opinions of others in regards to my writing. Well, that's not completely true. I want people to like my writing and to become fans of my stories. But family members, as well as the people I interacted with at writing workshops, don't really have the taste or credentials to professionally and thoughtfully appraise my work. I figure that I'd rather send my stuff along to an editor; if the editor thinks it's good enough, it'll be published and that's that. This way, I spare myself the hassle of dealing with the advice of other writers or family members who just don't know what the hell they're talking about. Instead, I just hand them a copy of the book when it finally comes out.

Now, when they settle down to actually read the published piece? Yeah, I tend to get a little nervous. Not as nervous as I'd be if they were reading a rough, unpublished draft, but nervous nonethless.

I'd have stopped and introduced myself. It's not often that opportunity comes up.

Especially with the advent of ereaders; now, half the time, you can't tell what someone's reading!

jaksen said:

I guess all I was asking is how you feel when your story is being read - for the first time by someone else (other than yourself.)

For me it's total nerves as I think, wow I've got this great story - I think it's great anyhow - and someone else is reading it - now. In real time. Like now.

(I also acknowledge some writers allow no one but their editor to read it, or a handful of betas, or a writing group. Everyone has their own process, which if it works, it works.)

During a morning walk I saw a woman sitting on a porch reading a copy of AHMM in which my story appeared. (You could see the bold cover artwork a mile away.) I wanted so badly to stop, interrupt, introduce myself - but I didn't. It would simply have been too rude. I walked on thinking - is she reading my story?

Never has happened since, though I've seen the odd copy of the magazine in doctors' and dentists' office.

Danke for all the replies.

Click to expand...

It's a shame you didn't approach her! I hope someday to come upon a random person reading my work in public. It would make for quite a thrill, I think.

I don't agonize over it all that much. I'll also discuss ideas with friends at all stages in the process—because it makes things go faster. My friends are my springboards, bringing to my conscious notice things that I've done or recognized subconsciously.

Usually, when they identify a problem and what's causing it, they're correct. Some are even really good about helping me identify the cause(s) when I have "writer's block" (which is my subconscious saying "Something's wrong.")

My friends will also tell me when they think a story stunk, but I've gotten pretty good at identifying stories they'll like, which helps the anxiety. I don't expect any of them to like everything.

My friends also can't nag me about my progress on a story that they don't know exists.

I got such a buzz when I was walking around the back of a hotel and saw three different tourists sitting around the swimming pool reading my book. It doesn't happen very often but when it does... WHAM!

I have two secret readers who get to read my MS before I pass it onto my editor.