How to portray a magnetic personality without it coming across as MarySue-ish?

Escape Artist · Feb 15, 2012

I'm sure you all know at least one person with a "magnetic" personality. A guy or girl who seems to light up the room with not their looks, but their presence, their personality. They are the person everyone wants to talk to, and no, not everyone likes them, but most do. They're charismatic without even seeming to try, and they usually have a plucky spirit. They tend to make you feel good about yourself, too. You get the idea.

But... how do you portray this kind of person in the fictional world without it coming across as MarySue-like? Is it even possible? Or is this one of those real life things that, when plunked into fiction, reads falsely? Like coincidence. It happens all the time in real life, but if you do it too much in fiction, the reader will not find it believable.

Thoughts?

P.S. - Yes, it's another Mary Sue post from Escape Artist. I tend to get stuck on certain topics until I feel I've got a pretty good grip on them and then I'll move on to something else.

Thanks, guys!

seun · Feb 15, 2012

The thing to remember is that even if someone is as cool as this, there are plenty of other aspects to their personality. Focus on those as well as this positive aspect.

And for what it's worth, I don't know anyone like this but I have known people who thought they lit up a room and so on.

zegota · Feb 15, 2012

Escape Artist said:
I'm sure you all know at least one person with a "magnetic" personality. A guy or girl who seems to light up the room with not their looks, but their presence, their personality. They are the person everyone wants to talk to, and no, not everyone likes them, but most do.

Other than myself, of course ;-), I can't say I've ever met anyone like this. You may have, and of course, you should feel free to use a similar character if it's what the story calls for. But definitely don't assume it's something your audience is going to immediately identify with. IMO, anyone with that sort of "magnetic" personality is going to have a lot of people dislike him, either out of envy, or just out of annoyance. You might be able to focus on that to make it more realistic.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 15, 2012

What is it they say? Something like, "Even a magnetic personality repels half the people who meet it."

No one is universally liked by everyone. If nothing else, jealousy or envy will make a fair number of people hate such a person.

gothicangel · Feb 15, 2012

seun said:
And for what it's worth, I don't know anyone like this but I have known people who thought they lit up a room and so on.

+1

I'm actually trying to think of someone like this who didn't come across as vacuous and boring. I can think of plenty of charismatic people, but they were far from being Mary-Sue-ish.

Buffysquirrel · Feb 15, 2012

I've known people so full of energy they made me feel tired. Not that I didn't like them, but I just couldn't keep up.

There's no harm in having this kind of character provided it isn't every single person who adores them beyond reason, including if they run over their dog or something.

seun · Feb 15, 2012

Charisma often works best when the person involved doesn't know they have it. Same as being cool. The person who's conscious of being cool is generally the person everyone else thinks is a bit of a wanker.

Toothpaste · Feb 15, 2012

I agree with all of the above. But I'll add further that if this is a secondary character you don't have to worry about the Mary Sue as much as if this is a main character. Mary Sue is usually used for main characters, not secondary ones. They can be all those things, and pretty much be fine. But if this is a main character, well then you just have to make sure that this is a real person, with real fears and foibles. Even the most charming people make mistakes. All humans charming or not say things we regret later, we all have done something that has inadvertently hurt someone else. It doesn't make us bad, nor would it make your character any less charming. It just makes him three dimensional.

Escape Artist · Feb 15, 2012

Hmm...I know at least two people like this - one male, one female. The female comes across as more bubbly than the guy, but they are both equally drawing, at least to me. Guess those kind of people aren't as common as I think they are (as if knowing two in my whole life makes them common, but I digress). That's definitely something to keep in mind as I kind of assumed (whoops) that everyone knew at least one person like this.

Anyway, I'm not sure that I can explain it very well without a reader having that particular background of already knowing someone with a magnetic personality. Like one of you said (seun, I think?) - someone who's cool without even really knowing it. Someone who's genuine and humble and honestly doesn't realize the effect they have on others.

I just worried that magnetic personality automatically equaled Mary Sue in readers' minds. There are so many definitions of Mary Sue given on the internet that it's difficult sometimes to figure out where she is and where she isn't.

But that might be just me. It usually takes a good bit of research and reading and good old-fashioned exposure to a concept before understanding FINALLY washes over me.

BethS · Feb 15, 2012

I think much of the way you convey this is through the reactions of other characters.

seun · Feb 15, 2012

Escape Artist said:
Like one of you said (seun, I think?) - someone who's cool without even really knowing it. Someone who's genuine and humble and honestly doesn't realize the effect they have on others.

My bold. Be very careful with this. You don't want a Mr or Miss Perfect and nor do you want a Mr or Miss So Nice Everyone Likes Them But They Don't Know It. You want fully rounded characters with good and bad qualities.

quicklime · Feb 15, 2012

Jamesaritchie said:
What is it they say? Something like, "Even a magnetic personality repels half the people who meet it."

No one is universally liked by everyone. If nothing else, jealousy or envy will make a fair number of people hate such a person.

this

it is also worth noting a "magnetic personality" is hardly an automatic Mary-Sue tribute....Stalin kept order with brute force, although to the best of my recollections, he was not well-liked. However, Hitler had charisma by the boatload when he was demagoguing.....he was still an awful man, and disliked by enough people his secret police were kept quite busy and he survived several assassination attempts, but he also had enough charisma to make a large part of his country's population march into war gladly, and many commit horriffic atrocities in places like Belden and Auschwitz.

A few other examples:

Ted Bundy was considered a charming ladies' man and up and comer in Florida Republican politics.

McCarthy was a braggart, liar, and IIRC boozehound, who whipped up a crazy fictitious red scare.....many loved him and he was charismatic....he was also a bastard, and many even at the time loathed him.

Most highly "succesful" womanizers or other users have magnetic personalities (looks only get you so far) but are clearly not terribly good people otherwise...

magnetic personalities do not automatically make a Mary Sue.

veinglory · Feb 15, 2012

Ultimately the magnetism has to be what they do and how they present yourself, not just "because". We may not always be consciously aware of what makes a person magnetic--but they are doing something, in fact quite a lot of very subtle somethings. So the reader has to see or know what is magnetic about the character, not just take the author's word for it.

quicklime · Feb 15, 2012

seun said:
My bold. Be very careful with this. You don't want a Mr or Miss Perfect and nor do you want a Mr or Miss So Nice Everyone Likes Them But They Don't Know It. You want fully rounded characters with good and bad qualities.

what seun said...plus, i don't know your people personally, but in my general experience, those folks still have some skeletons...sometimes, they're the ones with the MOST skeletons.

In either case, there is a "coincidence" thread rolling around the novels or basic questions board right now also you should look at, because it is sort of the same issue: In fiction, people have certain expectations and a notion of things being too implausibly good to be true.....the hero finding a gun under a rock just as the bad guy attacks, the bad guy having a heart attack just before a rape and that being the climax of the story, etc... These things can and do happen in real life, albeit absurdly rarely, but in fiction they appear to be an improbable, artificial construct. Maybe, MAYBE if I scratch my head I can find that one or two spotless human beings in my life as well, but on reading, they look like a cheap, easy, cardboard hero, even if I really have met one in real life.

scarletpeaches · Feb 15, 2012

seun said:
Charisma often works best when the person involved doesn't know they have it. Same as being cool. The person who's conscious of being cool is generally the person everyone else thinks is a bit of a wanker.

I disagree. Charismatic people always know they have 'it' -- they know, and work the room.

Being conscious of what you are doesn't negate the quality we're talking about, whether that's charisma or coolness.

When it comes to magnetism, though? Show the other characters' reactions to the MC, rather than his/her thoughts about him- or herself.

quicklime · Feb 15, 2012

scarletpeaches said:
Show the other characters' reactions to the MC, rather than his/her thoughts about him- or herself.

or show his thoughts...his TRUE thoughts....

"The waitress had a bit of a fat ass, but she was more than ready to throw it down at Rick's scuzzy little hotel room if he smiled at her again, maybe held her gaze a bit too long when he said goodnight, perhaps touched her hand as he took the check...."

now he knows he has it, and he is arguably using it, and her. is he? and if so, how bad does that make him? We don't know yet, but he's aware--he certainly isn't trying to hide it out of humility. if you're defining charisma as an ability to draw people, persuade them, make them like you, etc., that isn't an entirely unconscious thing....even if your person doesn't know how they do it, they know they have it, and they can use it to influence others.

Cyia · Feb 15, 2012

Have you ever read A Separate Peace? Phineas is this sort of character.

quicklime · Feb 15, 2012

Cyia said:
Have you ever read A Separate Peace? Phineas is this sort of character.

i read that once, and should re-read it, but he was the one who died, correct? and IIRC, he blew off some serious bile at his friend near the end, which his friend certainly earned, but even Phineas lost his cool.....

seun · Feb 15, 2012

scarletpeaches said:
I disagree. Charismatic people always know they have 'it' -- they know, and work the room.

I should I have said I was speaking personally. The charismatic people I know don't know (or least don't appear to know) they have it.

And pfft.

scarletpeaches · Feb 15, 2012

seun said:
I should I have said I was speaking personally. The charismatic people I know don't know (or least don't appear to know) they have it.

And pfft.

Then they're probably a bit thick.

Which is why they're friends with you.

Domino Derval · Feb 15, 2012

The thing about magnetic people, who I have known, is that while they may very good people at heart, they can't live up to everyone's expectations.

That guy who all the girls love is gonna have to smash a few hearts just to deal with the sheer number of fans. The popular girl stepped on some toes to get where she is. The bubbly woman has a bad day and either starts coming off as bitchy (which is worse for her, since no one expects it) or has to lie to keep up appearances. The bad boy has lived through some troubles that aren't the sexy broody kind.

In real life, magnetic personalities exist, but they're not heroes. When they're treated as such, it ends up letting people down. Often, that's not the fault of Mr./Ms. Charisma at all.

This differentiates real charismatic people from Mary Sues.

Buffysquirrel · Feb 15, 2012

The funny thing is that there's a member of my family who's reputed to get by on charm, but I see none of it. Either I'm immune or some people are highly susceptible, but I honestly don't even see them trying to charm me.

Eh. Maybe I'm not worth the effort!

Devil Ledbetter · Feb 15, 2012

Jamesaritchie said:
What is it they say? Something like, "Even a magnetic personality repels half the people who meet it."

No one is universally liked by everyone. If nothing else, jealousy or envy will make a fair number of people hate such a person.

I've never heard that quote; it's so true it made me lol irl.

However, my understanding of Mary Sues is that those who dislike them are always jealous. They can't dislike Mary Sue because of her flaws (since she has none) so jealousy is the only explanation. Having other characters be jealous would probably enhance the Mary Sue-ness.

seun said:
The person who's conscious of being cool is generally the person everyone else thinks is a bit of a wanker.

I agree with this assessment.

seun said:
My bold. Be very careful with this. You don't want a Mr or Miss Perfect and nor do you want a Mr or Miss So Nice Everyone Likes Them But They Don't Know It. You want fully rounded characters with good and bad qualities.

Also a good point.

RPecha · Feb 15, 2012

A magnetic personality does not always equal Mary-sue/Gary-stu. If they completely lack flaws/everything completely revolves around them, then yeah they fit the bill in my book.

As for real life, I have brought numerous charismatic fools to tears. People with the so called magnetic personality 'try' to reel me in but instead of a bass they wind up with a megalodon that proceeds to rip them apart.

IceCreamEmpress · Feb 15, 2012

Try not to use cliches like "magnetic personality" when talking about the character (I realize you're using it here as shorthand, but in the context of the book it will feel more heavy-handed).

Also show, don't tell. My brother is great at talking with strangers; we go into a restaurant and after a few minutes he and the waiter are laughing like they're old friends. Your character might do the same.

One of the biggest Mary Sue/Gary Stu pitfalls is having the narrative voice, or one of the characters, say how great the Sue/Stu is. "Oh, Xandrina, you're so charismatic! It must be your flowing raven hair and your emerald-green eyes!"

How to portray a magnetic personality without it coming across as MarySue-ish?

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