Help with plotting BDSM themed pilot

Just asking, d'you think you might get more expert feedback and thoughts on the topic if I moved it to Erotica forum? Not trying to confine you or anything. There's also the NC-17 Erotica Discussion sub-forum (no pun) which is passworded.

-Derek

I think you'll need to bring the problems of the outside world INTO the dungeon, won't you? As well as having several appealing regular characters working within the dungeon.

I mean, you can treat it like any workplace drama, to some extent - the workplace stories change from episode to episode, based on who comes into the hospital/police station/dungeon, and the real character depth and development comes from looking at the people who work in the dungeon.

Maybe one week the main story is about a man who's about to get married and is having serious doubts because he hasn't yet introduced his wife to his BDSM interests. But we also learn about the owner of the dungeon not being sure he'll be able to keep the place open because of low revenues, and about the fresh-faced ingenue with a strong whip-hand and her infatuation with the burly Dom, or... whatever.

I mean, the setting is just the reason for bringing the characters together, right? Really, the story is going to end up being about the characters.

Using the dungeon would allow for more regular or semi-regular characters. Also, for scenes outside the dungeon could be more about her away from work. If you want her working away from the dungeon, then the opening could provide the protocol which is used for her to outcall safely. Or she could be moonlighting on her own. For CSI with Lady Heather and her several appearances, they kept her in the dungeon for work only. The scenes with her at home were after hours.

A submissive, to men's houses? It's REALLY easy to cross a line there. Mightn't that make for a good first episode that brings the rest of them into a central location?

Some guy goes too far (whatever that means for your character), and the fallout from that leading her to need a "safe" location. It might even introduce a companion or partner who can introduce some more vanilla elements down the road.

Yeah, and a show about a Dairy Queen... like, we get the shipments of ice cream on Tuesdays, we decorate cakes based on these principles... would be boring as hell. But a show about the people who WORK at a Dairy Queen - that'll be as interesting as the writer has the ability to make it.

I don't understand why you think that a show about working in a dungeon will be automatically boring, but think that it will be more exciting to have a show about a person going to... people's houses.

It's not about the setting. Your background in a dungeon will help you get the details right, but your skill as a writer will determine whether anyone cares about your characters and wants to keep watching the show.

Honestly, if it bores you don't write it, no matter what your crit partner says. If an author is bored with their subject it's not hard to tell.

Celia Cyanide said:

My partner suggested that I have her be the "boss" at the dungeon and have a mother/daughter relationship with the owner. But I suppose I can do whatever I want. I just can't see anything getting that interesting this way. To me, it's like having a show about a Dairy Queen.

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Heh, possibly.

I can't help thinking, though, that "house calls" is not something a professional would ever advise. Or practice. Unless, you want *her* to cross the line. I mean, you said TV, and I (and probably I alone) presumed a more or legal operation, so no sexual intercourse.

Maybe it's a set of regulars, customers she knows pretty well.

I can see story arcs involving customers to the establishment who become regulars, the show examines the customers' motives for wanting/needing this. Her entry into their house, into their lives (so to speak) ignites those motives in some way, revealing and confronting them. Then the customer moves on as the motives get... resolved?... I think you know what I mean.

OK, now I'm seeing "Touched By an Angel." Except not.

Hmm...

For you the dungeon is just a boring workplace. For a lot of your viewers, this might be an exciting new situation. How many of them will have any idea of what goes on, or who goes there?
(Except for a vague image of a big dude in a leather hood, flogging people). At least, use a couple of episodes of the dungeon to set up the situation, as others have said: a workplace drama. It gives continuity, allows for continuing characters, and makes room for a little exposition.
After a while, you could slide into just having episodes about your MC doing outcalls, but people would have a sense of background, that she doesn't just appear at some guy's door.
As for 'boring as working at Dairy Queen': first, I agree with the 'it's the characters that count'. Second: there are a couple of 'reality' shows about bakeries, one about a cup-cake shop, etc. Dairy Queen is not out of the question, really.

You can do both...

Have the story set around the staff and regular clients of a Pro Dungeon. You can bring out the interactions between the characters who work there (and I happen to know that there are often a lot of arguments and tension between the women who work in these places - lots of opportunity for ego clashes, Dommes are generally the sort of women who clash with other strong women a lot...) and other elements. Make the setting another character by having it mirror the characters (perhaps each character has their own area they prefer to work in which they have decorated to their tastes - I have seen this in at least one Pro dungeon).

You can also, however, have them doing 'outcalls' to hotels and houses. Many Pros offer this as well (and usually they charge more for it, mainly because of the travel involved and quite often the client has to pay for hotel rooms and meals on top of this).

In this way you keep the majority of your material as is intact but you give the series a central focus - a location that is familiar - and add in the potential for additional material in the dungeon.

Just a thought worth mentioning. A sub is not going to go alone to her/his patron's homes, and possibly not to hotel rooms, either. For many of the clients, part of the Dom/Domme experience is making the sub helpless--and the bondage and gag must be real, not theatrical props. It's a deal breaker for the Doms/Dommes I've known.

Trust is a necessity when you're really tied up and gagged, and that the client is paying you isn't the same at all. The threat from whoever 'owns' you to do you harm if you hurt their sex worker won't matter much, either, in the heat of the moment.

So I would think the sub is not likely to perform out-services alone. A hired Dom or Domme, sure.

Maryn, niggler about details

FWIW, Maryn, I don't think that's a detail.

Either have a companion, or a safety call. "If I don't call every three hours and give the right code word, come get me."

Well, in my experience, most outcalls are usually escorted and this also adds to the cost (because not only are you feeding and accomodating the person performing the service, you are also feeding at least one escort...). I suspect no one mentioned this at all because it is sort of a nobrainer (but then someone not in the lifestyle may not think of it but any who are will). The point of the OP was not to discuss the safety issues of that situation but to discuss more general issues such as the problem of shifting a plotline based around outcalls to a central, single location...

More likely it would be an escort/chaperone and this applies whether the person performing the service is a sub or a Domme or a Dom. They'll assess the situation and take their leave if happy and sit in the car or in another room or whatever and return at the required time. This also, BTW, happens a lot with modelling assignments... usually a boyfriend or manager will be in attendence, mainly for safety.

A safety call is rarely used in a professional context. They are mainly for lifestylers who meet up for the first time and want to make sure that the other person is not a serial killer and there are other precautions there such as meeting in a public open space.

Of course in the UK the concept of a professional sub is quite rare. There are one or two I know of but they mainly operate in a dungeon rather than going out to visit and usually they are used for scenarios where the client wants to be 'captive with another slave' under one Domme.

Celia Cyanide said:

it's like having a show about a Dairy Queen.

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I think you could probably write a pretty good sitcom based around a Dairy Queen. Or perhaps a PI story, or a romantic drama....

In a small central Illinois town I visited regularly, the ice cream place near the school (not Dairy Queen, but another name brand) was busted for selling drugs to the school kids.

Story trumps setting.

I don't know, I think you could pull it good. I remember Desperate Housewives' first season with Rex Van Der Kamp. I thought it was interesting and that, what some people seek with BDSM, for some is just kink, to others an art form, to others an escape and so on. That could be a good show.

You could also have some major arc things going on, someone who doesn't like doing this but needs the money for college or living or is a single mother, you get the idea, another one who does like this but feels guilt because his or her upbringing, etc.

Celia Cyanide said:

I'll explain why I think this...I worked in a dungeon for about a year, and nothing remotely dangerous or interesting ever happens. There is no conflict, outside of some minor stupid drama, which is not interesting enough to write about.

The suggestions my partner and our friend gave me for conflict were improbable, and almost impossible.

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Maybe you're thinking about "interesting" and "conflict" wrong.

Punchdrunk Love is a story about a passive-aggressive man trying to approach a woman he's in love with, lauch a themed toilet plunger business and deal with the harrassment of a porno-phone call manager who has stolen his credit card numbers. All very every day elements (minor stupid drama, even), but it's interesting and there's plenty of conflict.

Celia Cyanide said:

I'll explain why I think this...I worked in a dungeon for about a year, and nothing remotely dangerous or interesting ever happens. There is no conflict, outside of some minor stupid drama, which is not interesting enough to write about.

The suggestions my partner and our friend gave me for conflict were improbable, and almost impossible.

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I'm starting to agree with Ann Mayburn. Maybe you shouldn't write it. You seem REALLY determined that it's going to be boring, in which case, I think you're probably right. It WILL be boring.

But in case you're more open to the idea than you seem to be... stop thinking about the place you used to work. You're not making a documentary, or a reality show. You're not writing a memoir. The only connection your script would have to the place you used to work is that you'd use your experience to get the details right. The rest of it, the drama and the characters and the interesting stuff, that would come from YOU, from your imagination. You're in charge of making it interesting, making us care about the characters. If it ends up being boring, that's because you didn't do your job as a writer, not because it's absolutely impossible to write a dramatic story that takes place in a dungeon.

There is also kink and fetish politics to explore (gossip cytokine-storms to diffuse, old guard vs. new guard vs. newer guard, leathers vs. ABDL, swingers vs. kinksters, spiritualists vs. artists vs. players, creeps vs. newbies, etc.)

Celia Cyanide said:

I'll explain why I think this...I worked in a dungeon for about a year, and nothing remotely dangerous or interesting ever happens. There is no conflict, outside of some minor stupid drama, which is not interesting enough to write about.

The suggestions my partner and our friend gave me for conflict were improbable, and almost impossible.

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Are you sure about that? Or had you just become so innured to what was going on that none of it seemed interesting? Or maybe you were at a dungeon that had really low drama (trust me, I have seen the local scenes in a number of cities and been in a number of dungeons... there is drama galore. I can't beleive the one you worked for didn't have any). Also, what may seem mundane and boring to you might be fascinating and unusual to others who have not had your experiences. To me, working in a school is often boring and mundane and has little in it worth writing about. However, there are many many dramas and comedies set in schools and that all seem to do rather well.

A lot of storytelling is exaggeration of true events. You take something that could feasibly happen in your setting (or something that did happen) and then you think 'how can I make this more dramatic/comedic?'. Ben Elton does this well. A lot of his novels include things like experiences of student living which are clearly based on his own experiences of being at university. Some of them are things I recognise from my own student life. However, some of them are clearly exaggerated for effect. And again with the example of schools above. Dramas like Waterloo Road have events happening in schools which never happen in schools I have worked in (students getting teachers pregnant for example...) but the basic root of those ideas is in there (in that there have been some real life occasions reported in the media where teachers have slept with students, this drama merely took it to the next level).

So, a minor tiff between two Dommes in the dungeon which may have led to some raised voices and a period of tension when neither was speaking to the other until they finally made up is a feasible occurence but not very interesting. However, a tiff between two Dommes which results in them sabotaging each other's sessions, stealing clients, making the other look guilty of a crime, playing various cruel practical jokes on each other and so on is less plausible but more dramatic and interesting. So use your experiences of the dungeon as a starting point and then amp up the drama to make it interesting.

And remember, if you also mix in the outcall stuff you already have ideas for, you can double your chance of interesting drama while still keeping within the requirements of the crit (by having a central location).

A central location does not necessarily tie you to that location all the time, after all.

Do you really have to rewrite the whole thing, or could you just rewrite the ending because of something that happened in this first episode.

Maybe she inherits an isolated estate from a wealthy client or relative and this changes her views. By owning her own dungeon, she could be more selective of the clients and what is offered. She could expand services by including others to give her clients a wider selection all in one location. Some clients may want to be dominated and some may want to do the dominating. She can set up their fantasies and have full control, not to mention charge more.

Think of Fantasy Island for the BDSM crowd...