Character in hiding/alternative identity

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rich_cheese

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I'm about to start a major section of one of my WIP's where a character is forced into hiding. While I can write this, I just wanted to clear something up in my mind:

When writing dialogue aimed at the character (named Bob) who is going by a false name (Peter), how should it be approached?

"You're a fine man, Peter" She said.

"I know, I try my best." Said Bob.

See what I mean? What I'm basically asking is if you reference the character, which do you refer them to? Bob or Peter?

My thinking is like the above. Dialogue as Peter, text as Bob. I don't think Bob/Peter throughout would be good at all!
 

Bufty

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Whether it works depends on how well it is written.

Aim for clarity by making sure the reader knows Bob is masquerading as Peter, then continue to refer to him in the narrative as Bob. If another character thinks Bob's name is Peter, obviously they're going to address him as Peter.

Your dialogue tag punctuation is up the creek, by the way.
 

rich_cheese

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Your dialogue tag punctuation is up the creek, by the way.

If you're referring to the She said, Said Bob, yes, definitely up the creek. It was just for the purposes of defining when someone may be shown to be talking. It's not an actual excerpt - I wouldn't normally write much more than 'he said', 'she said'.

Okay, maybe the occasional descriptive tag. Occasionally.
 
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bonitakale

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I've seen it done both ways. If the character has run away and is living under the name Peter for a long time--especially if he's going to keep that name right through the book--you might as well use it. If he's trying to force himself to think of himself as Peter, call him that.

But if he's reporting in as Bob now and then, or if being Peter is only for a couple of chapters, call him Bob.
 

rich_cheese

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But if he's reporting in as Bob now and then, or if being Peter is only for a couple of chapters, call him Bob.

Exactly what I was going to do. The main character is in hiding for a few chapters, before being revealed again. It's just to clarify the best way to reference them outside of dialogue, and this answers it perfectly.

Now, having realised my grammatical boo-boo with dialogue ('He said' instead of 'he said') I face a few hours of editing. Doh!
 

CaroGirl

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In order to seem real, characters shouldn't refer to each other by their names all that much. We don't typically go around saying, "What do you think, Jason?" "Well, Mary, I think it's bullshit." "Really, Jason?" "Oh, yes, Mary."

It's not natural. Establish which identity the other characters believe him to have, and then make the dialogue realistic within the context of your story. If so-and-so needs to refer to him by name, use the name she would use in dialogue and use his actual name in narrative. If you set it up right, the reader won't be confused.
 

CaroGirl

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If you're referring to the She said, Said Bob, yes, definitely up the creek. It was just for the purposes of defining when someone may be shown to be talking. It's not an actual excerpt - I wouldn't normally write much more than 'he said', 'she said'.
Bufty means you've use incorrect punctuation and capitalization in your example dialogue.
 

areteus

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It may depend on what PoV you are using... if you are using the PoV of a character who does not know about the switch then they should be referring to that character as the name they know them by at all times. To my mind this includes any internal monologue moments and all dialogue tags because you are seeing events from that person's PoV and they don't know...

If it is from the PoV of the person who is doing the impersonation (who I am assuming is your MC) then it is different. You are referring to them as they see themselves, which is the core identity not the 'pretend' one. Their internal monologue might make reference to the deception (for example when someone uses the fake name and your character doesn't respond immediately they might reflect on that being a close one and not being used to this subterfuge stuff) but they will, at heart, always refer to themselves as the name they always use.
 
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