Issues with Historical Retelling

I have a bit of an issue... So I'm moving forward with my upper MG novel (bear with me while I wind around to my problem). It was originally set in a made-up fantasy world in an industrial age similar to the mid-1800s. However, my betas were picturing Victorian England. We've decided I need to separate myself as much as possible from England; therefore, the book is now set firmly in Boston, Massachusetts.

Now... it happens that the storyline actually fits quite well with some dates and major events in US history, which makes it a sort of historical retelling... alternate, though, because it's obviously fantasy. The book ends up opening just a bit before the beginning of the US Civil War. I have a bunch of general issues with the whole concept of historical retellings for kids... I mean, do I have the responsibility to present this as a history lesson? It's an alternate retelling of a history that a good portion of my readers probably aren't that familiar with anyway, so how detailed do I need to be about it (and how truthful)?

I know there are a lot of things I would need to include about politics and day-to-day details that would have to be spot on for an adult audience. But do kids care so much? Are the requirements as strict for kid alternate historical fiction as for adult? Not that I'm shirking the research on it, but a lot of what I've researched is very heavy and probably wouldn't need to be in the story... can I just not talk about it? For example (and here's where the specific problem arises):

Slavery in the South. I'm not writing a book that explores the horrors of slavery. In fact, slavery wouldn't even have been on the radar if I hadn't moved the setting to Boston. How much do I need to acknowledge its existence in a children's book? Also, even more distressing, my betas and I have decided that due to the fantasy element of the book, slavery as we know it wouldn't actually have been cost effective and probably wouldn't have existed to the degree it did in reality. Something would have been going on in the South, but it wouldn't have been the subjugation of people.

So I have to have a different spur for the war (which I have). But how much trouble am I going to get into by taking slavery out of the history? I don't want to seem like I'm trivializing slavery, like I'm saying it didn't exist, but it doesn't have a place in this particular fantasy story. So I don't know what to do.

ETA: Does anyone have any book recs for alternate historical retellings (for kids)? I've seen one on one of the stickied threads and wrote it down somewhere, but what else is out there?

Amarie said:

Knightley Academy by Violet Haberdasher is alternative history for kids. It's set in England, and in it Scotland is a war-like nation with another name.

Tough questions though for your story. Is the Civil War part of the story? If it is, then you'd have to find a valid reason for it to occur besides slavery. It's hard to say without knowing more about your story.

Leviathan by Scott Westerfield is YA, but since it's alternative World War I it might help you too.

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Nice suggestions. Thanks. I'll pick them up.

Before I moved the setting to Boston, there actually was a civil war brewing for reasons intrinsic to the story... it just happened that when I moved it to Boston, we were all "Oh, look, here's a civil war, as well. That fits nicely." So... the novel, yes, leads up to a civil war that the protag is trying to prevent. Since it's in Boston now, it would only make sense to make it the US Civil War... right? Or am I unnecessarily being a slave to history?

I do have a reason for the civil war in my story and I can easily convert it to having occured in the South... but to do so, I have to take slavery out of the equation.

Sorry I threw out a question and then seemingly disappeared. I was dealing with terrible headaches all weekend and couldn't bring myself to get on the computer.

Thanks so much, everyone, for all the helpful comments! I'm at least reassured that I'm right to worry about the issue.

Lyra Jean: You're right that the impetus of the US Civil War was more (and not originally about) slavery. I have an historian on staff as a beta (yay!), so we're coming up with a diverse list of political issues that would make sense in my world. However, slavery is the sensitive one, and the one I'm most concerned about switching around. Emphasizing one of the other reasons for the war, I'm afraid, would just stick me in the same bind. And having the Civil War/end of slavery occur before the war is a good idea, except that I still run into the problem of slavery being illogical in my world. It's weird, but in my world, I'd have to shoe-horn slaverly into the mix pretty forcefully.

CheG: It's going to be extremely obvious that this is fiction/fantasy.


Kitty Pryde: There's no real reason African Americans wouldn't exist in my America as free citizens. Political power is based on possession of magical ability and has nothing to do with race. And the US would have drawn powerful magic users, so it would be reasonably ethically diverse. Magical melting pot.

RuthD and Ferret: It's not important that it's set in Boston. The time period is what's important--or well, the flavor of it, anyway. I originally had it set in an original fantasy world that was supposed to be reminiscent of Boston. But it kept coming off as Victorian England. The reasons my betas gave for that being awful were: (1) I'm not from England (i.e., write what you know); in fact, one of them is adamant that I retool the entire thing as a western because I'm from Texas, y'all.

(2) [and this is actually the worse of the two] I need to remove it as far as possible from a comparison with Harry Potter. There are already a lot of elements (boy gets caught up in magical warfare, he's befriended by another boy and a girl, he goes to a school, magic is an everyday part of life, etc.), and they just felt the "England" vibe pushed it too far over the edge toward rip-off territory (even though it's not a ripoff). But to anchor it away from England, it has to actually have an anchor that spells out "Not England."

The other issue with setting it in Victorian England (or similar landscape) is that it's definitely not steampunk, so I'm afraid there'd be an expectation and then a let down when it turns out there're no gears or steam.


Amarie: Right now, I'm reading Orson Scott Card's Alvin Maker series, which is adult, granted. And I've been wondering the same thing about whether there's a market for this kind of historical retelling in MG. On the one hand, it seems fruitless to try because, while I can incorporate historical elements, they're not really all that important to the story itself (because that part's all made up). I definitely would not try to market it as historical fiction. I think the historical part of it would just end up being flavor. On the other hand, there's not much of this kind of thing in MG, so maybe it's relatively new and different?



So... options:

1) Keep slavery, in which case I'll have to figure out a good reason for it to have been prominent and then try work ending slavery into my real reasons for the Civil War without losing the "real reason" thread. Alternatively, I have an idea that would keep some element of slaverly and which would be a really big issue for the war, except... I'm afraid it might be even more offensive than ignoring slavery altogether.

2) Let slavery have already petered out of existence prior to the opening of the story. It's feasible that it did exist earlier in American history but then went out of vogue as more economical means presented themselves. Is letting have faded out just as bad as pretending it didn't exist though?

3) Move my story back to the fantasy world... Except I'm not sure how to get rid of the Victorian England vibe and still keep the flavor of the time period without anchoring it in a real location.

4) Set it in Victorian England, which I know nothing about, and just invite the "ripoff" criticisms.


I hate this. I mean, I do want to be sensitive and I understand the importance of not dismissing historical atrocities... but as a fiction writer, I really do hate that I have to sacrifice story, where story should be king, for the sake of being politically correct. There are just so many things to think about besides telling a good story.

Ferret said:

I still think a complete fantasy world is your best option. What elements in your story screamed Victorian England? If you can identify and change them (without moving everything to Boston), you won't have a problem.

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That's the trouble really--identifying them. My betas couldn't be all that specific... or when they were, one of two things seemed to be at play. Either 1) the "England" scream was something like a street lamp, a carriage, class division, or something else that would have existed in both places at the time, but they're more accustomed to seeing them in "England" settings. Or 2) I think there was some kind of circular thing going on where they saw something that reminded them of Harry Potter (the boy goes to a school; there are horses with wings), and thinking of Harry Potter made them think of England. I have no idea what to do about the first problem... and the second just depresses me so much (and I still don't know what to do about that except to remove magic from the story).

It's like, for them, that time period will always bring to mind Victorian England--because they've never read books set in the US then--but I don't do actual Victorian England well... and even if it's a fantasy world, they still see Victorian England, and all my world building looks "wrong" to them because I'm not nailing Victorian England.

I have to decide on a setting, rewrite it, and put something in SYW to see if it's still coming off the same way. Maybe I'll write a chapter set both in my original fantasy world and one set in Boston and let reviewers do a comparison. ? ('course, that wouldn't solve my slavery issue, but I'm starting to think nothing will.)

Thanks for the additional recs, austen.