Here's a question for you ...

butterfly · Jan 31, 2012

What do you think is the one thing that all people want so badly that they sacrifice themselves for it?

I think it's validation. The innate need to be recognized and accepted.

Literateparakeet · Jan 31, 2012

Ah listening and validation are my two favorite words. Shame I have to pay someone (my therapist) to get them!

Women seek love and men seek admiration.

That said, I think there are universal themes, but we are all individuals, and I don't think there is ONE thing that would apply to everyONE.

crunchyblanket · Jan 31, 2012

I don't think there is any one thing. Not one that can be said to be universal, anyway.

JimmyB27 · Jan 31, 2012

"All we really want is affirmation,
affirmation's all we're working toward.
And I don't need your wealth accumulation,
you can keep it.

Second encore,
second encore."
Tim Minchin.

Though a little wealth accumulation wouldn't go amiss...

quicklime · Jan 31, 2012

butterfly said:
What do you think is the one thing that all people want so badly that they sacrifice themselves for it?

I think it's validation. The innate need to be recognized and accepted.

i don't believe so.

I think SOME people, sure, but I think plenty don't need validation.

randi.lee · Jan 31, 2012

I definitely agree that validation is a big thing people are searching for... but I agree with those who've said no one thing is universal.

Nostro · Jan 31, 2012

If people are willing to sacrifice themselves for something, then it's got to be something that will live on after they die. That's got to be something pretty big. I'm going to go with the propogation of their genes. Think of men sacrificing themselves in favour of women and children on the titanic (not sure how this fared out on the Italian cruise liner incident). Or the parental hope that you die before your children. It's writ in our genes to want to continue the genetic line. I suspect the idea of immortality was used in the past as a metaphor for this.

I often think the hope that your writing will endure after your death is a form of this grasp at immortality.

ChaosTitan · Jan 31, 2012

butterfly said:
What do you think is the one thing that all people want so badly that they sacrifice themselves for it?

How are you defining sacrifice here?

Sacrifice -- you love something/want to protect something so badly that you're willing to die for it/give up everything you have for it?

Sacrifice -- something external you think you need in order to be happy/because society tells you to, even if it means losing part of yourself in the process?

For me, the former has a more positive connotation, while the latter could be quite negative. And each one has a different answer.

gothicangel · Jan 31, 2012

quicklime said:
i don't believe so.

I think SOME people, sure, but I think plenty don't need validation.

True, and I'm one of them.

I don't need acceptance from anyone. The only person I need validation from is myself.

But maybe that's something that comes with life experience?

Jamesaritchie · Jan 31, 2012

butterfly said:
What do you think is the one thing that all people want so badly that they sacrifice themselves for it?

I think it's validation. The innate need to be recognized and accepted.

What do you mean by "sacrifice themselves"? Without defining this, there's no good way of answering the question.

Anyway, I can't imagine why anyone would sacrifice anything for validation. The need for validation is no more than another way of saying "inferiority complex".

Sacrificing for love, duty, God, country, honor, family, I can see, but validation? No. If you need validation from others, I doubt you'll ever be happy.

Sunnyside · Jan 31, 2012

Doughnuts. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

JSSchley · Jan 31, 2012

I don't think there's any one thing for everyone. But I think there's one thing for everyone (which may be different from person to person).

Questions like that are the kinds of things I love to ask myself to get at the root of a character I'm trying to write. What *really* makes him/her tick?

Alitriona · Jan 31, 2012

I would like validation. I done need it, nor would I sacrifice myself for it. I done need acceptance or recognition. I don't really give a hoot if someone doesn't accept me as I am. I accept me.

My life is not mine to sacrifice as it stands, because another person relies wholly on me for survival, which I suppose is a sacrifice in itself. there is only one thing I would give up everything I have for and that's my son. He's special needs and I happily give anything and everything for him to have the possibility of an independent, healthy and fulfilling life.

Charlie Horse · Jan 31, 2012

Alwaysinspired · Jan 31, 2012

There's not one answer. I believe the typical person will only sacrifice themselves for "whatever" if they think it will be worth it monetarily. I say this because I know so many people who have dreams they're afraid to persue because they need to pay bills. They work at jobs they hate to be financially secure.

scarletpeaches · Jan 31, 2012

Jamesaritchie said:
If you need validation from others, I doubt you'll ever be happy.

Does this mean you'll never send another manuscript to a publisher?

MJNL · Jan 31, 2012

butterfly said:
What do you think is the one thing that all people want so badly that they sacrifice themselves for it?

I think it's validation. The innate need to be recognized and accepted.

Are you looking for validation of your choice of, er, validation?

I like validation, but there are definitely a lot of other things that top it--and that’s only things I like, not things I need or would “sacrifice myself” for. So, unless you count things such as familial and spousal love and wellbeing as validation, I can't say I agree.

mccardey · Jan 31, 2012

butterfly said:
What do you think is the one thing that all people want so badly that they sacrifice themselves for it?

I think it's validation. The innate need to be recognized and accepted.

There can't possibly be one thing that all people want. That's the kind of thinking that - apart from its other limitations - enacts legislation against ideals like gay marriage (because only those who want the same things deserve marriage).

And, really - validation? From whom? Validation of what? On what grounds? On whose terms?

pfft!

ETA: Sorry, butterfly - did I swat you? I'm in a bad mood.

Celia Cyanide · Jan 31, 2012

May I ask what this has to do with writing? I'm not saying it doesn't. It is just that your question is posed in such a general sense, but since you posted it here in the roundtable, I assume you mean it in a way that relates to writing. But I'm not sure what.

scarletpeaches · Jan 31, 2012

I don't think the question makes sense anyway. What's the point in sacrificing myself for...anything? I wouldn't be around to enjoy it in that case.

I'd happily shiv someone's granny if it meant I won the Booker, though.

butterfly · Jan 31, 2012

ChaosTitan said:
How are you defining sacrifice here?

Sacrifice -- you love something/want to protect something so badly that you're willing to die for it/give up everything you have for it?

Sacrifice -- something external you think you need in order to be happy/because society tells you to, even if it means losing part of yourself in the process?

For me, the former has a more positive connotation, while the latter could be quite negative. And each one has a different answer.

It doesn't matter how I define sacrifice because I don't know that one thing that you would give up for it. It could be money, fame, a Lamborghini, marriage. It could be something insignificant to me but life-changing for you.

We all have one thing - my choice was validation - that we are willing at one point or another to give up, or strongly consider giving up, a good part of ourselves to get, and I think that one thing is more common than we care to admit.

So if not validation for you, what is it?

mccardey said:
There can't possibly be one thing that all people want. That's the kind of thinking that - apart from its other limitations - enacts legislation against ideals like gay marriage (because only those who want the same things deserve marriage).

And, really - validation? From whom? Validation of what? On what grounds? On whose terms?

pfft!

ETA: Sorry, butterfly - did I swat you? I'm in a bad mood.

That's ok. Did I hit a nerve?

Celia Cyanide said:
May I ask what this has to do with writing? I'm not saying it doesn't. It is just that your question is posed in such a general sense, but since you posted it here in the roundtable, I assume you mean it in a way that relates to writing. But I'm not sure what.

If I don't answer this question how will you feel?

scarletpeaches said:
I don't think the question makes sense anyway. What's the point in sacrificing myself for...anything? I wouldn't be around to enjoy it in that case.

I'd happily shiv someone's granny if it meant I won the Booker, though.

Sacrifice doesn't always mean physical death.

mccardey · Jan 31, 2012

Well, no -- you didn't hit a nerve. I was already grumpy. But you asked

butterfly said:
What do you think is the one thing that all people want so badly that they sacrifice themselves for it?

I think it's validation. The innate need to be recognized and accepted.

and I would have to say the premise of the question is invalid to start with, assuming as it does that people's wants are sufficiently congruent across ages, across nations, across life-experiences and histories to be summed up in the same word: and that your conclusion therefore - that validation is something that all people want so badly that they will sacrifice themselves for it - is also invalid. And in the absence of a definition of "validation", I'd add that in the common sense of the word validation is not something I care about; and I would hope that the (very few) things I would sacrifice myself for are further removed from myself and my story than that.

ETA: And yes, I'm still grumpy.

Celia Cyanide · Jan 31, 2012

butterfly said:
If I don't answer this question how will you feel?

Confused.

PEBKAC2 · Jan 31, 2012

My kids and wife.

scarletpeaches · Feb 1, 2012

butterfly said:
Sacrifice doesn't always mean physical death.

I think someone's sarcasm meter needs recalibrating.

Besides, your OP talked about sacrificing oneself.

Here's a question for you ...

butterfly

Literateparakeet

Nerdy Budgie

crunchyblanket

the Juggernaut of Imperfection

JimmyB27

Hoopy frood

quicklime

all out of fucks to give

randi.lee

Certified Non-Genius

Nostro

ChaosTitan

Around

gothicangel

Toughen up.

Jamesaritchie

Sunnyside

JSSchley

Have Harp Will Travel

Alitriona

Attends The School of AW

Charlie Horse

Speaking in metaphors

Alwaysinspired

scarletpeaches

MJNL

A Little Lost

mccardey

Celia Cyanide

Joker Groupie

scarletpeaches

butterfly

mccardey

Celia Cyanide

Joker Groupie

PEBKAC2

Will crit for food.

scarletpeaches