"Then Jim walks out the door..."

[britwrit]

This might go in the "writer's block" topic but has anyone ever gotten stuck on what should be the easiest paragraph in the world to write? You're humming along, the story clicking into place, and then BAM - the engine drops out.

For example - Jim is walking to the grocery store, two or three transition sentences at best, but wait! What's the weather like? Is it overcast? But didn't you describe how the light looked last chapter? And does it matter that he's putting on his sweater while he walks? (but what kind of sweater?).

And so on and so forth. Really, you should go around it, hit the next section, but gosh darnit, why won't this scan? Why can't I write a decent sentence here (one that truly captures the experience of walking to the store?)

It's not a big deal but I was wondering if this happened to anybody else? Or have I finally achieved uniqueness?

[willietheshakes]

Full stop. New graf.

"When hew got back from the store..." -or- "Inside, the air was cool and almost sterile, in the way of most grocery stores..." depending pn which way you need to go.

[MadScientistMatt]

Is it even necessary to capture the experience of walking to the store in this case? Sometimes, this may be unnecessary. If Nothing Happens during this trip to the store, you could end one scene with something like, "'Ok, I'll go get the groceries," said Jim, reaching for his argyle sweater," and then start the next one with Jim at the store.

[PeeDee]

Using your store scene as the example, my first question, like you said, is why won't this scan?

But the second question is, "Does it matter?"

Do the readers need to know the light, the feel of the store? Do the readers need to know he's wearing a sweater? Does it benefit the story?

It's a safe bet that any readers you have, have in fact walked into a store of some sort, at some point in their lives. Play on that. If it's just a transition, it doesn't need much detail, it doesn't need much descriptive play, it just needs to get Character from A to B.

If it is relevant, then play off the knowledge that your readers have done what your character does. So remember what happens when you go to the store. Or watch other people. Any minor quirks, any fun-things-to-write that will make your readers perk up and say "Hey! I did that! I HATE that!" and laugh, and happily keep going, now firmly on your side.

(I would probably write in Bill, the overnight cashier, who gets progressively more and more drunk and crabby as the night goes on, despite management's best efforts to frisk him and keep him alcohole free at work. Because this is a hillbilly little town where he works, Bill keeps his job, and spend the night tottering around yelling at stoned kids and not-so-stoned normal people.)

In answer to your overall question, yeah, it happens all the time. Usually, it's less of the engine falling out and more of some smarter part of my brain pulling the emergency brake before things can get too ugly.

It just happened on a short story I was writing, which was odd, since I knew all the words and what was happening. So I put it down, I went and worked on something else, and I realized what the problem was. It was a major problem I had no idea about up till that point. Now, i'll go back, write it again, and it'll flow like quicksilver.

[zornhau]

From http://www.sfwa.org/writing/glossary.html
Here-to-there mistake. Over-describing interim stages because of a mistaken belief that the reader will not infer them. A writer whose character's eyes are closed, for example, wants to describe something visually and feels compelled to say, 'he opened his eyes'. Omitting this phrase usually works better -- the reader can infer the eye-opening from the visual description. Similarly, 'he got into the car, put the key in the ignition, started the engine and backed out of the driveway' is too much description: 'he got into the car and backed out of the driveway.'

[Jamesaritchie]

Unless something important is going to happen on the way to the store, there's probably no point in even writing about it. A scene with important action is usually fairly easy to write, and a scene without important action usually shouldn't be written at all.

It's what happens on the walk to the store that moves the story along that matters. That's what you should concentrate on. If nothing happens during teh walk that furthers the story, then writing about the trip to the store is needless.

[blacbird]

From http://www.sfwa.org/writing/glossary.html Here-to-there mistake. Over-describing interim stages because of a mistaken belief that the reader will not infer them. A writer whose character's eyes are closed, for example, wants to describe something visually and feels compelled to say, 'he opened his eyes'. Omitting this phrase usually works better -- the reader can infer the eye-opening from the visual description. Similarly, 'he got into the car, put the key in the ignition, started the engine and backed out of the driveway' is too much description: 'he got into the car and backed out of the driveway.'


Exactly true. And this fault is a major place in which to trim verbiage from early drafts. Every time I've critiqued a too-long manuscript the writer laments "cannot be cut further" I've found it full of this kind of fat.

caw.

[Sharon Mock]

In fact, it's quite likely it doesn't scan precisely because the sentences are unnecesary and your brain can't see how to make them interesting.