Substitute for 'a couple of'

plebeian · Jan 22, 2012

It has driven me crazy. Couple of days later, couple of months later, couple of universitites, couple of this, couple of that.

I started using moments later, hours later, minutes later but I have exhausted these too. And whenever I have to describe a jump in time or a group of things (couple of acquaintances..) I cringe.

Can you guys suggest some alternatives?

benbradley · Jan 22, 2012

Two days later, or a few days later.

blacbird · Jan 22, 2012

Two.

You save a couple of words that way.

caw

Pyekett · Jan 23, 2012

Depending on context, you can also use "some." Some time later, some minutes later, etc.

If your context can stretch--must it be two?--you can use "several." Or perhaps "a pair," although the latter would be jarring in many circumstances.

For generic time passsage, "a while later." Or "after a time," just plain "later," and perhaps "next morning" or "the next day/night."

Bufty · Jan 23, 2012

Instead of looking for alternatives, why not consider whether it's really of any importance to continually mention exactly how much time has passed?

Minutes? Who the heck cares?

I doubt it's of any importance to say how much time has passed every time the scene changes, and if you realise it isn't of any significance, try rephrasing the transitional phrases.

There's an infinite number of ways of changing scene where time has obviously passed but without resorting to specifying the precise time that has elapsed. For example:-

I decided to mention the matter to James as soon as practical after dinner.

#

My opportunity arose when James strolled out to the verandah.

Or

Roland hesitated, then palmed his fist. "You're right. New York's where we should start searching. Pack your case."

#

The Yellow Cab pulled up outside a drab three-storey building at the Eastern end of Blake and Vine....

plebeian said:
It has driven me crazy. Couple of days later, couple of months later, couple of universitites, couple of this, couple of that.

I started using moments later, hours later, minutes later but I have exhausted these too. And whenever I have to describe a jump in time or a group of things (couple of acquaintances..) I cringe.

Can you guys suggest some alternatives?

brianjanuary · Jan 23, 2012

I would use a combination of time passage markers ("Five minutes later", etc.) and scene breaks for significant jumps in time. If you have a lot of different time sequences, you can date your chapters and scenes with time stamps (for example, "June 12, 3:05 PM").

Dr.Gonzo · Jan 23, 2012

I find that when you use things like 'Two days later' I start to lose interest. It starts with telling me when the scene happens and usually stays in that fashion with what happens in the scene. I'd much prefer to watch the scene play out. It's almost author intrusion, filtering in a way. I should have an idea of time passing by context and continuity.

Jamesaritchie · Jan 23, 2012

Far more often than not, there's no reason to say how much later something happens. Most often, when you get down to minutes and secods, whoever it is wouldn't really know exactly how much time has passed.

Unless considerable time has passed, weeks or months or years, giving the exact passage of time is generally not wise. It bogs things down, gets boring fast, and isn't realistic.

CaroGirl · Jan 23, 2012

As with many aspects of fiction, show is better than tell. If a scene happens at night, the sun rising in the next scene indicates it's the next morning. If a scene happens on a Tuesday morning, mentioning that it's now Thursday afternoon indicates how much later it is. I prefer this to statements that flat-out say how much time has passed.

How many of us think in those terms anyway? Unless it's been only an hour or two, we think of yesterday, two days ago or last week.

plebeian · Jan 23, 2012

Thanks for the suggestion, guys. I understand writing time transition for insubstantial amount of time is futile (and can be done by showing instead of telling), but I get stuck when I have to write time transition for a considerable period of time (weeks/months).

Bufty · Jan 24, 2012

If the passage of time, say, to another season is of importance, look around you - the four seasons are never the same.

Concentrate on things that may reveal or suggest the passage of time - not in stating exactly how much time has passed.

Give your readers more credit. If a scene changes or the characters are known to have moved to another location any reader with half a brain will know if time has passed or not.

plebeian said:
Thanks for the suggestion, guys. I understand writing time transition for insubstantial amount of time is futile (and can be done by showing instead of telling), but I get stuck when I have to write time transition for a considerable period of time (weeks/months).

Architectus · Jan 26, 2012

I pretty much never write in narration how much time has passed. I don't think it's important if two months have passed. I can show it other ways.

For example, to show a month passed in my screenplay, in the next scene, the person training my MC says, "You've improved a lot in a month."

bonitakale · Jan 27, 2012

And I keep adding time words to people's manuscripts, because they don't have any indication. Somehow, whether by saying, Three days later, he changed his mind. "No more!" or by showing the turn of season or the change of the child's height, you have to let us, the readers, know where we are in time and space, and (just as important) let us know that you know.

Substitute for 'a couple of'

plebeian

benbradley

It's a doggy dog world

blacbird

Pyekett

I need no hot / Words.

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

brianjanuary

Dr.Gonzo

Wonderfully Irreverent

Jamesaritchie

CaroGirl

Living the dream

plebeian

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Architectus

bonitakale