Censoring your character's thoughts?

breaking_burgundy · Jan 21, 2012

I am not afraid to admit that my main protagonist is a selfish, judgmental bitch. And while she's smart enough not to verbalize most of her thoughts, she is exactly the sort of girl who is slightly repulsed by homosexuality and who isn't ashamed to see another girl as fat or ugly.

The problem? I don't feel comfortable mentioning, say, "the whale at the front desk." (Especially if this book ends up being YA.)

This character does many horrible things throughout the course of the novel, and I have no problem writing about these things. But I'm worried that lines making fun of someone's weight, race, or sexual orientation might have a damaging effect on readers.

Is it okay to censor some of my character's thoughts for the sake of the novel? Or should I just make these thoughts a little more subtle?

missesdash · Jan 21, 2012

I think dropping a few here and there would be sufficient to build her character. Too much could be unpleasant to read.

thebloodfiend · Jan 21, 2012

if you're worried about lines having a damaging effect on a reader, realize that your reader can, and will, put down the book if it's not for them. readers like me, on the other hand, won't. as long as it doesn't seem like you condone calling overweight girls "whales", i think you should write it out. there's no need to be subtle if your character wouldn't be subtle.

is she the type of girl to say it outloud if provoked? is she proud of those thoughts?

hell, i kind of want to read the novel now. i like nasty characters as long as they get their just desserts.

Niiicola · Jan 21, 2012

Here's my 2 cents. Write it, get all the thoughts out, get her to act and think the way you need her to. Then go back and see if the way you've phrased it is exactly right. You might find another way to show it or new words to use, or you might find that it's exactly what you need.

Could these judgmental statements be associated with negative feelings about herself? Is there some underlying reason for her meanness? I'm assuming there's something sympathetic about her if she's the MC. It might soften the impact to show this kind of stuff as it's happening. She doesn't have to feel bad about the overweight girl, but if she feels bad about herself or we know the reason behind it, it's easier to take.

missesdash · Jan 21, 2012

Niiicola said:
Here's my 2 cents. Write it, get all the thoughts out, get her to act and think the way you need her to. Then go back and see if the way you've phrased it is exactly right. You might find another way to show it or new words to use, or you might find that it's exactly what you need.

Could these judgmental statements be associated with negative feelings about herself? Is there some underlying reason for her meanness? I'm assuming there's something sympathetic about her if she's the MC. It might soften the impact to show this kind of stuff as it's happening. She doesn't have to feel bad about the overweight girl, but if she feels bad about herself or we know the reason behind it, it's easier to take.

This is actually a really good suggestion. Being creative about the way you show her nasty side would avoid the repetitive nature of "that ugly bitch" and "that fat whale." Because it loses it's edge after a while (especially if her actions don't ever reflect this nature)

From a writing standpoint, it wouldn't be censoring to not have her state every time she thinks someone is fat or ugly, it would be avoiding repetition.

badlandz · Jan 21, 2012

When it comes to these things, I usually just write all of it out, uncensored. Then, later I go back and edit most of it out, leaving only enough solid queues that let the reader know what to think of the person.

It may not be the best idea to censor it all out, but I try to do it anyway. Because I hope that giving just enough to convey the position of that person is enough. Then it lets the reader fill in the other gaps in the personality. That way you don't overwhelm them with unnecessary details, and the reader can build a convincing picture in their mind by seeing the character in a way they understand and believe with just the theme you want, not the way you want to force them to see.

Might not work for everyone. But sometimes less is more.

scarletpeaches · Jan 21, 2012

Readers aren't stupid. They know how to separate 'author' from 'character'.

At least I hope they do.

Are you writing for people who are incapable of making this distinction for themselves?

badlandz · Jan 22, 2012

scarletpeaches said:
At least I hope they do.

I guess I never "hope" and fall back on hope for the best, but expect the worst. I don't expect anything of readers, just hope they read. And if they are smart, well, they will fill in the blanks. If they aren't, then keep it simple. So I do believe less is more, if you do it right.

Torill · Jan 22, 2012

If you want her to come across as a selfish, judgemental bitch, you must write her as a selfish, judgemental bitch, her thoughts included. By all means, avoid repetition, but keep some of it in there is my advice.

If you worry about the possible damaging effect on readers, I think there are several things you could do. Explain her motives, show that she has issues like Niiicola said, is one. Let other characters challenge your character about her judgemental behaviour, or show more sympathetic attitudes is another. A third is to show the distress of some of her victims, or paint some of the 'fat whales' she judges in a positive light, to set off her bitchiness as prejudiced.

Danthia · Jan 25, 2012

If that's the character that's the character. However, I don't think it's a bad idea to think about your readers and how derogatory terms might affect them. If an overweight or homosexual reader read this book, would you be hurting them unintentionally? I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here, just something to think about.

I don't think YA authors should censor themselves, but I do think we need to be responsible and considerate of our younger readers. Especially since books are the refuge for a lot of disenfranchised teens.

I think you have to decide why your character is like that and what you want to do with having her be mean. If it's essential to the plot, do what you need to do. Mean characters exist. If she's like that just to be edgy or some fairly superficial reason, maybe think twice and see how else you can achieve the same goal.

You can also have other characters who clearly feel the opposite to balance it out if you're concerned about it coming across as your views vs the character's views.

Mharvey · Jan 25, 2012

missesdash said:
I think dropping a few here and there would be sufficient to build her character. Too much could be unpleasant to read.

I agree with this.

Sprinkling a little imperfection into your lead is almost always a good thing, but be careful with thoughts that could alienate the reader. If she has them, they probably should be for a fantastic reason and not just done on a whim.

My philosophy: there's a place for homobashing, religion-hating, bigoted, racist and just plain unpleasant characters... and that's the supporting cast.

legendary bum · Jan 25, 2012

I would really have trouble connecting with a sizeist, homophobic, racist protagonist and would likely put the book down. But I guess every reader is different and every character is different, for that matter. Here's something you might want to ponder though (an interesting post I came across some time ago while interneting):

http://girl-inbetween.blogspot.com/2011/02/be-change-you-want-to-read-about.html

Corinne Duyvis · Jan 27, 2012

As a reader, I'm likely to cringe when I encounter -isms, and if it keeps up I may end up putting the book down. However, it'll depend on how it's handled. I think the following things will make a huge difference:

1. Whether the narrative agrees with the character. It's possible to have your character be a jerk while making it clear they're wrong. (One example is making the people they're such jerks about actual, well-drawn characters.)

2. Whether they're ever called on it. I'm not talking being preachy, but it's still gratifying for the reader to see the character called a jerk. (This ties into number one.) Seeing the character change might be nice as well, but that can also veer on preachy/cliché, and someone learning at the expense of others, etc.

3. Understanding the character, like several others have already pointed out. Make me feel for them.

That said, as a writer, I will almost always err on the side of not hurting the reader. You get enough shit tossed at your head on a regular basis if you don't fall into the straight/white/cis/thin/abled categories, and I don't want to contribute to that, especially when it comes to younger readers.

KalenO · Jan 27, 2012

This is something that you have to be VERY careful with and that I've screwed up with in a short story, no matter my good intentions. I had a MC character who was deliberately racist and misogynistic and was attempting to show a progression with him, and his thoughts and outlook changing by the end of the story without being overly preachy. The problem is this is very tricky to do for even the best writers, and I failed in that. So yeah, people didn't react to it well, and I definitely offended some people.

My point being, if this is what you feel the story and the character needs, then no, you shouldn't censor yourself....but you NEED to be prepared to accept any ill consequences that come your way as a result. The one thing no writer can do is control how a reader ultimately perceives or comprehends your work, and if someone is offended by your portrayal, ESPECIALLY if you knew it was a possibility going in, then they're offended and that's that. You just need to accept that and apologize, rather than getting all Defensive Author and Oh My Precious Work in response. Not saying that the OP would, just saying its something to keep in mind.

veinglory · Jan 27, 2012

If your character is unpleasant you have to find another reason for readers to want to spend a lot of time with her. Your life might be easier if you make her flawed but basically nice. i.e. judgmental and prejudiced but self-aware and trying to do better (like most people)

Corinne Duyvis · Jan 27, 2012

KalenO said:
You just need to accept that and apologize, rather than getting all Defensive Author and Oh My Precious Work in response.

A+++

breaking_burgundy · Jan 27, 2012

Ehh... Apparently a lot of people misunderstood what I was asking. Let me try again:

The character's feelings on overweight people, gay people, and members of other races are neither central to her character (or the plot), and they are not overt. She doesn't hate (or even dislike) all people who fall under these categories, but she isn't above thinking something along the lines of "I doubt I would be able to tell him apart from all other [members of certain ethnic group]" or "people have every right to be gay, but I don't want to see them kissing in public." (The only one that might be overt is the weight thing, but that's more of a "I find obesity unattractive" than a "I would never befriend a fat person" sentiment.)

The problem isn't that she is constantly thinking these things. The problem is that, on a couple of occasions, these thoughts might pop up, and since it isn't that relevant to the plot, I'm not sure whether I should insert them. I want readers to see her as judgmental, but at the same time, I don't want to alienate them over something that isn't totally relevant to the plot.

When I mentioned the "horrible things" that she does, I'm referring to stuff that is relevant to the plot and that isn't necessarily related to these opinions. My point was that a) due to this character's actions, it's fairly clear that I'm not trying to make her likeable, and b) it's easier for me to write about, say, a murderer, than to use the word "whale" in a book.

In the end, I decided that if these thoughts do come up, I will try to make them more subtle. Some people will notice them and some won't, but it either way, it won't make a huge difference in the plot.

And just for the record, yes, there are other major characters who are gay, members of other races, and/or on the larger side.

Censoring your character's thoughts?

breaking_burgundy

missesdash

You can't sit with us!

thebloodfiend

Cory

Niiicola

Twitchy

missesdash

You can't sit with us!

badlandz

scarletpeaches

badlandz

Torill

Not as trollish as you might think

Danthia

Mharvey

Liker Of Happy Things

legendary bum

needs to change her sheets

Corinne Duyvis

My New Cat Is Too Big for Shoulders

KalenO

practical experience, FTW

veinglory

volitare nequeo

Corinne Duyvis

My New Cat Is Too Big for Shoulders

breaking_burgundy