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SEEKING beta reader. Novel. Literary Fantasy.

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nocomposer

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Title: No Composer More Morose

Spent three years+ writing it, pitched it to agents, no dice. Considering e-publishing it, but I'd like a fellow writer to level with me.*

Mostly, I read either philosophy or classic literature, but Stephen King's Dark Tower series is on deck. My novel is somewhere in between.

I'll read the first 30 pages of yours if you read the first 30 of mine.

Here's my query letter:

The maestro becomes distracted by a strange disharmony emanating from his wife, Doloris. *It resonates in her voice, in her breath and her heartbeat, vexing him so he cannot concentrate on his music. *When Doloris falls ill, he can’t help but think the sound and the sickness are related. *

*Her condition deteriorates as she develops open sores and experiences catatonic spells. *She is unresponsive to treatment, and a dreaded diagnosis must be made: *Doloris has the disease, a deadly malady with symptoms illimitable and no known cure. *By law, she is quarantined to prevent an epidemic.

*The maestro’s only hope of seeing Doloris again is a cure, so he abandons his music, vowing to succeed where greater minds have failed. *Though he knows nothing of medicine, a life dedicated to music has given him one advantage: *he alone can hear the voice of the disease. *

*NO COMPOSER MORE MOROSE (85,000 words) is literary fiction in a New Weird vein. *Please contact me if you are interested in viewing a sample.
 
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nocomposer

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THERE WE GO!! FIRST WORD, ALREADY A SPELLING ERROR!!

I typed all this on my phone. But it's no excuse.
 

RichardFlea

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I am looking for a beta reader too. Two examples of my work are 'Urban warfare scene' and 'Most Powerful Word' in the share your work section of this site.

I would love to beta read your work. I too love Stephen Kings dark tower.

If you are interested, please let me know.
 

dawookie

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Have any agents requested to view samples based on the query? I wasn't interested in your premise until the last line, which was a red flag to me. If you'd started with "Though he knows nothing of medicine, a life dedicated to music has given the maestro one advantage: he alone can hear the voice of the disease," I would have been hooked right away. Then rewrite the rest, keeping everything in active voice to maintain a sense of urgency. And what's the deal with the asterisks?

That's the kind of critique I would give to this post. Let me know if you want me to tear, similarly, into your manuscript for you :)

I have a 95,000 comtemporary fantasy novel in need of beta readers, if you want to take a look (I'll read for you, regardless). Here's a one-line synopsis I've been tinkering with: A woman in a small Midwestern town struggles with the ghost of her controlling mother, an amnesiac angel boyfriend, and her place in a celestial breeding line as she searches for the world's missing anger.

--Vania

Title: No Composer More Morose

Spent three years+ writing it, pitched it to agents, no dice. Considering e-publishing it, but I'd like a fellow writer to level with me.*

Mostly, I read either philosophy or classic literature, but Stephen King's Dark Tower series is on deck. My novel is somewhere in between.

I'll read the first 30 pages of yours if you read the first 30 of mine.

Here's my query letter:

The maestro becomes distracted by a strange disharmony emanating from his wife, Doloris. *It resonates in her voice, in her breath and her heartbeat, vexing him so he cannot concentrate on his music. *When Doloris falls ill, he can’t help but think the sound and the sickness are related. *

*Her condition deteriorates as she develops open sores and experiences catatonic spells. *She is unresponsive to treatment, and a dreaded diagnosis must be made: *Doloris has the disease, a deadly malady with symptoms illimitable and no known cure. *By law, she is quarantined to prevent an epidemic.

*The maestro’s only hope of seeing Doloris again is a cure, so he abandons his music, vowing to succeed where greater minds have failed. *Though he knows nothing of medicine, a life dedicated to music has given him one advantage: *he alone can hear the voice of the disease. *

*NO COMPOSER MORE MOROSE (85,000 words) is literary fiction in a New Weird vein. *Please contact me if you are interested in viewing a sample.
 

cjcurrie

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Likewise, I wasn't much interested in the synopsis until the end. How does a maestro learn to be a doctor? How could he even have a hope of finding the cure? A good synopsis will hit all the main points of the story, while providing information on the MC, the setting, the main conflict, and what the character does/can do to overcome the main conflict. You have all the points except the last one.
 
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