Ellipses

Procrastinista · Dec 31, 2011

Which is correct:

“I have but she’s . . . ,” Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little, “tight lipped.”

“I have but she’s . . . .” Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little. “Tight lipped.”

Billycourty · Dec 31, 2011

The first one.

Grunkins · Dec 31, 2011

Not certain, but since you added a punctuation to end the dialogue line (period in one, comma in the other) it defaults back to regular dialogue punctuation rules. A comma if you go on to a "she said", or period if you go on to another sentence (which you did in this case).

swvaughn · Dec 31, 2011

Procrastinista said:
Which is correct:

“I have but she’s . . . ,” Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little, “tight lipped.”

“I have but she’s . . . .” Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little. “Tight lipped.”

Technically, it should be:

"I have, but she's..." Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little. "Tight-lipped."

The only time there should be punctuation after an ellipsis is when it's the end of a sentence, in which case you'd need a period. But this isn't the end of a sentence, because she's carrying on the dialogue after a pause.

[BTW, this seems like a really good line of dialogue. Dark humor?

]

writermom · Dec 31, 2011

swvaughn said:
Technically, it should be:

"I have, but she's..." Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little. "Tight-lipped."

The only time there should be punctuation after an ellipsis is when it's the end of a sentence, in which case you'd need a period.

And even that is falling out of favor with some house styles. Just to play it safe, never punctuate after an ellipsis.

^ YUP! That one.

swvaughn · Dec 31, 2011

LOL I'd just edited that to explain further and take out the house style stuff, because I felt all pretentious. But it's still true.

BethS · Dec 31, 2011

Procrastinista said:
Which is correct:

“I have but she’s . . . ,” Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little, “tight lipped.”

“I have but she’s . . . .” Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little. “Tight lipped.”

I think an em-dash is really what you're looking for there, because you're interrupting her speech with a tag. You'd use it on both ends, like this:

"I have, but she's--" Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little, "--tight-lipped."

writermom · Dec 31, 2011

Ellipses implies that the character is searching for the correct word.

Em-dash would be a broken thought.

I disagree with you. Ellipses would be better if, in fact, the author is implying that the character is searching for a description.

Procrastinista · Dec 31, 2011

writermom said:
Ellipses implies that the character is searching for the correct word.

Em-dash would be a broken thought.

I disagree with you. Ellipses would be better if, in fact, the author is implying that the character is searching for a description.

Yes, the character is searching for a description.

Procrastinista · Dec 31, 2011

swvaughn said:
Technically, it should be:

"I have, but she's..." Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little. "Tight-lipped."

The only time there should be punctuation after an ellipsis is when it's the end of a sentence, in which case you'd need a period. But this isn't the end of a sentence, because she's carrying on the dialogue after a pause.

[BTW, this seems like a really good line of dialogue. Dark humor? ]

But since it's not the end of a sentence, why use a period after "little" and why use a leading cap on "Tight-lipped?"

Yeah, definitely dark humor. Thanks for noticing.

Fallen · Jan 1, 2012

Procrastinista said:
But since it's not the end of a sentence, why use a period after "little" and why use a leading cap on "Tight-lipped?"

There are a thousand and one ways to write this. You just need to decide what you're trying to convey as the author:

There is another version:

"I have, but she's"--Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little--"tight-lipped."

Looks a little strange, but it just shows that action 'Amanda touches her lips..." is going on at the same time she's speaking (or it adds extra information).

Just remember it's your style choice and it depends what you're conveying to the reader, or what you want to convey to the reader.

BethS · Jan 1, 2012

writermom said:
Ellipses implies that the character is searching for the correct word.

Em-dash would be a broken thought.

I disagree with you. Ellipses would be better if, in fact, the author is implying that the character is searching for a description.

If that's the case in the example, yes, I agree. I may have read it the wrong way.

Niiicola · Jan 4, 2012

This changes your original pacing, but if you do it this way, there's no need for weird punctuation, and I think it still keeps the rhythm pretty well.

“I have.” Amanda touches her lip, which is still bleeding a little. “But she's tight lipped.”

Ellipses

Procrastinista

Billycourty

Grunkins

Grand adventurer of the couch

swvaughn

adrift

writermom

In the never-ending edit cycle

swvaughn

adrift

BethS

writermom

In the never-ending edit cycle

Procrastinista

Procrastinista

Fallen

Stood at the coalface

BethS

Niiicola

Twitchy