Balancing characters in a query. . .

Queries usually focus on one character, so I don't think it's a problem. Have you read all the stickies in Query Letter Hell? Once you have 50 posts, you can post your query there and get feedback.

I think you want too much control of the story too soon.

Let the story happen and let it surprise you. Even the most tightly plotted stories can take off on their own.

If it hasn't happened already, sooner or later, some minor character you had not planed on giving any real role will simply take over your story. Sometimes a subplot will take over the story. There is always plenty of time to write a query letter when you have at least a first draft.

Hmm, I might be a little baffled by your process. Your story should be paramount. It should determine the degree of "focus" on a particular character. When -- and only when -- it is absolutely necessary that you bring Mary back into the picture, you bring her in. The moment she is not needed, you move to the next part of your story.

I'll be interested to see other responses, because I'm not sure I've understood your problem.

Even though you may have two main characters, focus on one in the Query.

You are not writing blurb - you are writing a Query letter.

The purpose of the Query is to obtain the interest of an Agent in the few seconds he takes to read it so don't get into any blurb area. You don't have to spell out what your story is and reveal all about everyone.

Show clearly what your story is about.

Your Query letter will be one of many in the IN tray - be brief and clear and to the point.

Even though there may be several characters most stories are about a main character in a predicament because someone or something is preventing them obtaining whatever it is they are seeking and there is a high risk personal choice to made somewhere along the line. That's your focus in the Query letter.

Wander into SYW Query hell and browse around the threads -including the stickies.

In a query, I think it's more important to focus on your story--especially on your commercial hook (because this is what you are ultimately selling and what you will be judged by), rather than on character (unless it's strictly a literary piece). Boil your whole story down into one or two sentences and embellish this.

Queries and synopses are very different things. What exactly are you writing? What will you use it for?

A query should show just enough of the conflict to attract attention. It usually focuses on one character. Many writers struggle with queries because they want to include too much and don't have enough space.

You can post queries and synopses in Query Letter Hell once you have enough posts. Also, reading through other people's work and responding can be very helpful.

The query isn't about being balanced or fair to the characters. It's about getting the agent to request the book. You have space to develop one character well or several characters poorly. The former may get you requests. The latter most likely won't.

I have a similar thing with my novel, as there are two main characters and both have some viewpoint time. The query is entirely centred on one of them. The other is mentioned, but only in the context of the query character interacting with them. And that's okay. The other character isn't going to come around to my house to complain about it.

I agree with Polenth.

The object in a query, synopsis, logline, or pitch, is to get the buyer to want more. What sells is the strength of your writing, not fairness to your characters.

I can understand to some degree the quandary. I have a book where I can't make a successful straight query letter because by nature the two main character's conflicts interconnect very closely. (They are foils for each other.) and I have another conflict layered on top of that. (catalyst.) Thus the stakes are dependent on three things at once. Character A's conflict. Character B's conflict and then the catalyst to make those conflicts go faster, with a third conflict. (Because Character A's conflict with Character B's conflict isn't enough for them to resolve their flaws--they've stagnated at the beginning of the story which is why they need a third conflict to make the stakes raise higher.)

In more writerly terms, the antagonist is the other character narrating, but the relationship character bringing in a third conflict makes the conflict between the two heighten. And that's the main conflict.: the three conflicts playing against each other. TT (I can break down the structure and get it to fit Katie Mac's three questions, but I still can't get it to fit neatly into a query letter.)

Despite that, I'm still trying to untangle the thing and focus on one character. But don't worry too much about the query until the book is done. Though sometimes in writing the query, I've found the flaws in my story that I wish to edit for. But such is the life of a writer. If you try to short cut it rarely works out. I know I tried writing a query letter first, but it's changing as I plot more of the story.

Katarinea said:

Thanks for your input, guys! Working on the query has done exactly what I hoped it would: it helped me figure out just what, exactly, the story is about, and it's helped me made some hard plot and character changes. . .just through the letter.

Click to expand...

I have adjusted novels to agree with pitches, loglines, etc.

It works.

In the novel I am querying there are also two MCs. So in the query I mention them in the first sentence, and then from there on I refer to them as 'they' as they both have the same problems and issues. (They are a father and daughter.)

So far I've generated a little interest in the novel, with about a dozen fulls out there. (But alas, no offers of representation yet.)