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Looking for a beta reader to assist with YA fantasy

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karenswart

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Hi there. I'm looking for a beta reader to assist me with my YA urban fantasy novel 80 000 + words. I am also willing to swap with another author.

The synopsis:

Kasayda Levourne’s life took a turn for the worst two days before her 17th birthday, born a hellhound, God’s strongest fallen, she finds herself in the fallen realm, Exsilium, where she must attend “The Hellhouse” as an apprentice and train to become a guardian. Assigned to the vampire guardian, Chax De Luca, whose brutal methods, has her running and fighting for dear life, she takes her steps in the fallen world.

She finds new friends, love in the gentle werewolf Seth, and a world filled with fae, vampires, griffons and many more. But a strong willed mind, has Kas in a world of trouble with the Fallen Council and Chax, and even more when she is shifted into hell with another apprentice, Kali.

Now forced by the evil nightmare demon Draco, she must battle demons, find Kali and try and get back to Exsilium. Her journey is hard, brutal and without mercy, but she finds that part of her, a dangerous part, to fight her way back to freedom. Now with the clock ticking and her world in an even worse state then before, she starts up a chain of events that will shake all realms. Will evil win the war, or will good prevail?
 
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karenswart

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If any authors wants to swap, I can do 5 hours and more a day, so i will be able to give feedback quickly.
 
Maryn

Maryn

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karenswart, I'm struggling to speak with tact and kindness, so please remember the spirit in which my reply is intended, in case I mess up.

Based on the writing sample which is your synopsis, this might not yet be ready for others to read in the 'big picture' way which is usually called a beta read, giving you an overview of a manuscript which you consider submission-ready. I found the wordiness and punctuation errors (somebody loves commas a little too much--me, too!) distracted me enough that I could barely read for content.

Stick around and get acquainted with AW while going over the ms. one more time, tidying it up as needed. I bet by the time you finish, you'll have made some friends and done some critiques at the appropriate Share Your Work board (a great source for people to critique for you, of course), and will have enough posts to start sharing your own work there as well.

Maryn, pleased to meet you
 
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