Can I use an ellipsis for a pause punctuation in a quote? Or just a dash or comma?

sense · Dec 13, 2011

I'm writing a quote in some dialogue that goes like this:

"Well, the thing is...and this is something I've never shared with another human being before...the thing is I've never been kissed," she said.

(the "never been kissed" part is generic, fwiw)

Maybe I've spent too much time chatting on instant messenger, but is it ok if I use an ellipsis like that? I'm using it to denote a pause, not the omission of a words, really. Should I just use a dash or a comma?

"Well, the thing is—and this is something I've never shared with another human being before—the thing is I've never been kissed," she said.

"Well, the thing is, and this is something I've never shared with another human being before, the thing is I've never been kissed," she said.

Captcha · Dec 13, 2011

General rule that editors have given me - the ellipsis is for trailing off, the m-dash is for interruptions, and the comma is for traditional pauses.

So I think you could use the ellipsis in this context if you want her to be speaking slowly and thoughtfully. If you want her a bit agitated and jittery, I'd go for the m-dash.

VoireyLinger · Dec 13, 2011

Agreeing with Captcha. I use them this way in both narrative and dialogue and my editor has never indicated it was a problem.

Dr.Gonzo · Dec 13, 2011

Another one in agreement. The examples all read differently to me. M-dash reads much quicker for me, like an interruption of thought or speech where you throw something else in quickly--an added detail or whatever--giving the impression that someone is on a roll in saying something and has a flow, a momentum. With the comma I take a breath. With the ellipsis I take pause, imagining the speaker to either not know what's coming next or not sure whether to say what's coming next, or something similar. They can be subtle but they do change the way I read the example.

Yeah, the ellipsis is fine in what you're doing. It's done all the time.

Ken · Dec 13, 2011

... good way of looking at it.
I also use ellipsis to signify thought: a character pausing, giving something consideration, and ultimately coming to a conclusion.

There's nothing abrupt about it, so ellipsis seem the right choice.

In a way, your own character is thinking things out as well: weighing their words before speaking them since the stuff they're conveying is sensitive in nature.

LAHandel · Dec 13, 2011

If you need to convey uncomfortable pauses in dialogue try doing it by interrupting the dialogue.

Example: "Well, the thing is," Jane shuffled her feet. "And this is something I've never shared with another human being before," she added quickly. "The thing is I've never been kissed."

DeadlyAccurate · Dec 13, 2011

LAHandel said:
If you need to convey uncomfortable pauses in dialogue try doing it by interrupting the dialogue.

Example: "Well, the thing is," Jane shuffled her feet. "And this is something I've never shared with another human being before," she added quickly. "The thing is I've never been kissed."

You're using "Jane shuffled her feet" to describe the way in which she says, "Well, the thing is."

These would be correct:

"Well, the thing is...." She shuffled her feet.
or
"Well, the thing is." She shuffled her feet.

But you couldn't say
"Well, the thing is," she shuffled her feet.

Here's a good article on non-speaking verbs used as dialog tags.

As for the OP, I personally prefer the em-dash in your example, because it's doing the work of a parenthetical aside.

kimberlycreates · Dec 13, 2011

Captcha hit it on the nose. You could also work the pause in with some action or characterization.

Frex: "Well, the thing is," Sue started, then looked down at her feet and twirled her hair around her finger. "This is something I've never shared with another human being before..." She trailed off and bit her lip. "The thing is I've never been kissed."

dangerousbill · Dec 13, 2011

sense said:
I'm writing a quote in some dialogue that goes like this:

"Well, the thing is...and this is something I've never shared with another human being before...the thing is I've never been kissed," she said.

I'd expect to see the em dash, since in effect the speaker is interrupting herself. I've used it that way many times without injury.

gtanders · Dec 13, 2011

sense said:
"Well, the thing is...and this is something I've never shared with another human being before...the thing is I've never been kissed," she said.

Probably no need to repeat "the thing is". If this was just a generic sample, that may be irrelevant.

Wordcraft · Dec 14, 2011

I used to use ellipses quite a bit, but I changed to using the mdash as, most times, these kind of things are interruptions or stuttering.

Ellipses are more for where words could have been said, but weren't.

sense · Dec 15, 2011

Thanks for all the replies.

I have another quick question. Does one capitalize the first letter of the first word following a dash? It seems as though one should not capitalize in the example above ("Well, the thing is—and this is something I've never shared with another human being before—the thing is I've never been kissed," she said.), but what about when the dash is not in the middle of another clause? It seems microsoft word automatically capitalizes the first letter after a dash.

BethS · Dec 15, 2011

sense said:
Thanks for all the replies.

I have another quick question. Does one capitalize the first letter of the first word following a dash? It seems as though one should not capitalize in the example above ("Well, the thing is—and this is something I've never shared with another human being before—the thing is I've never been kissed," she said.), but what about when the dash is not in the middle of another clause? It seems microsoft word automatically capitalizes the first letter after a dash.

No. I can't recall ever having seen that.

Jamesaritchie · Dec 15, 2011

Should you use an ellipsis as a pause? Technically, no, but good writers do so frequently when they want a pause longer than a em dash indicates.

I've done it, and editors always leave it alone, though it may be genre specific.

sense · Dec 16, 2011

BethS said:
No. I can't recall ever having seen that.

thanks

Jamesaritchie · Dec 17, 2011

BethS said:
No. I can't recall ever having seen that.

You must read few westerns or hard boiled mysteries. I do suspect using an ellipsis this way is genre specific, but it's common in these genres.

LydiaNetzer · Dec 17, 2011

Jamesaritchie said:
You must read few westerns or hard boiled mysteries. I do suspect using an ellipsis this way is genre specific, but it's common in these genres.

I think she was referring to capitalizing the word after an ellipse or m-dash.

Can I use an ellipsis for a pause punctuation in a quote? Or just a dash or comma?

sense

Captcha

VoireyLinger

Angel Wing Fetish

Dr.Gonzo

Wonderfully Irreverent

Ken

LAHandel

Figuring It All Out

DeadlyAccurate

Absolutely Fazed

kimberlycreates

insert witty title here

dangerousbill

Retired Illuminatus

gtanders

Wordcraft

sense

BethS

Jamesaritchie

sense

Jamesaritchie

LydiaNetzer

If the crockpot fits...