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YA Fantasy: Need BR, mostly for plot

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Warlyte

Master of Plot Explosions
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You would think that, being on my 5th draft with my novella (The Third Face, 25,000 words), that I would have the plot very much cemented. Unfortunately, that's not the way things have worked out.

On a backdrop of an ancient war among gods, The Third Face is set in the awakening of a generation of powerful magic users known as Elementalists. One of these, the protagonist Rasuke, has his own problems, however: rejected by his peers simply for being human, he must face both his enemies and his own split personalities. Meanwhile, the other Elementalists he meets along the way include a princess trying to denounce her own power, a demon who rescues children, and a girl consumed by sibling rivalry.

The plot is most certainly there, and I like what I have. But it feels very disjointed from itself, as subplots play out very much separately and meet only every few chapters. A character leads throughout Part I and then is never mentioned again, his own subplot remaining unresolved even at the end.

I try very hard to pretend that this isn't a complete mess, but it is. And it needs to be fixed somehow. Thus, I'd like a Beta Reader who can advise me from the top down: commenting on the summary above and then my basic outline before we discuss sending any actual chapters, if at all. I'm sure the small details need just as much attention, but I'm not focused on them at the moment.

Please send me a PM if you are interested or have any questions. Thanks!
 
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