PoV and Style

toogrey2 · Dec 6, 2011

I have been working on a dark fantasy short story off and on for a year thinking it might make a good book. I final finished a very rough draft that I can work with. Now I am editing.
Problem is I have 2 charaters, an old woman and a bug. The woman's pov seems to be coming along but the bug's is choppy.
Since it is a bug and can't talk or think, only reacts to stimili, can the style of his pov be different.

mirandashell · Dec 6, 2011

Different to what, exactly? I'm not sure I understand what you're asking.

If you are doing it from the bug's POV, how does that work if it only reacts to stimuli? If it can't think, what are we reading?

Sorry if this sounds a bit sharp, I don't mean it. I just can't picture what you mean.

dangerousbill · Dec 6, 2011

Can he not be a very smart bug?

zegota · Dec 6, 2011

Regardless of the logistics of having an insect's POV, each POV's "style" can be different. They should be. Sometimes vastly so. In fact, if you had the old woman's POV and the bug's POV sounded exactly the same, I'd say something was very wrong.

Calle Jay · Dec 6, 2011

If your bug is a very primitive being (as I'm assuming a bug would be), having a choppy POV would be natural.

In my own works that have multiple POVs I try to make it clear who is speaking by having different thought styles, speech patterns, actions, etc.

HTH

LOSK · Dec 6, 2011

Is it a third-person narrative with implied POVs, or is it distinct first-person narratives i.e. POV of the girl, and then POV of the bug?

If it's the latter, then the voice should definitely be distinct.

Bufty · Dec 7, 2011

Like Mirandashell, I don't understand what your question is.

Fallen · Dec 7, 2011

There's the option of 'third person objective', if that's any use.

Pheasant_Plucker · Dec 7, 2011

Not sure if I can be of assistance... but your short story does sound kind of fascinating, if that helps!

robertbevan · Dec 7, 2011

i immediately thought of this:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ask-a-bee,12241/

Dr.Gonzo · Dec 7, 2011

What kind of POV are you using? First? Third?

Think it was blacbird that wrote something about the cold creeping in a house. You wouldn't expect the cold to be able to think and stuff, but he pulled it off and it worked great.

jcavelos · Dec 7, 2011

Why two viewpoints?

I'm not sure why you feel it necessary to use two viewpoints in the story. Most short stories work best when told from a single viewpoint. Have you considered the various POV options? Often, you can reveal to the reader just as much, if not more, about a character without going into his POV.

Jeanne

Jeanne Cavelos
Director
Odyssey Writing Workshops Charitable Trust
www.odysseyworkshop.org

WriteMinded · Dec 7, 2011

He's a bug. How could his POV not be different?

toogrey2 · Dec 7, 2011

basically the story is about death and the possibilities of rebirth. the first part of the story is about an old woman who is dying. the second part is about the worm who eats her body and its life cycle.
morbid I know but in the end I like the worm. lol

robertbevan- loved the bee story

mirandashell · Dec 7, 2011

So how are you going to write the worm?

toogrey2 · Dec 7, 2011

I started out first person pov but think I'll change to 3rd.
I can see the story in my head like a movie but not sure I have the skills to tell it right.
Thank you for your help.

jaksen · Dec 7, 2011

I have to say I've never seen anything like this. Write the darn thing.

I want to read it.

Susan Coffin · Dec 7, 2011

I agree with Jaksen to just write the story.

LadyDae · Dec 7, 2011

toogrey2 said:
basically the story is about death and the possibilities of rebirth. the first part of the story is about an old woman who is dying. the second part is about the worm who eats her body and its life cycle.
morbid I know but in the end I like the worm. lol

robertbevan- loved the bee story

Well that's new. I'd be interested in seeing how you pull it off. I think in the end this is going to be your call to make. I never thought of the pov of a worm.

WriteMinded · Dec 8, 2011

Hope you post the story. I'd love to read it.

Dr.Gonzo · Dec 8, 2011

It'd be nice if the style of the bug's POV grew similar to that of the old woman's the more it ate of her.

Sarah Madara · Dec 8, 2011

I think your instincts were probably good. You wrote the worm's POV in a different style because he has a vastly different perception of the world from the old woman. If you want to give more elaborate details without assigning him deeper thoughts, you can switch to a more objective POV with the worm.

This sounds like a very cool story.

Also, a worm is not a bug

toogrey2 · Dec 9, 2011

Want to thank everyone for their advice. I finally found someone to read the first draft. They liked old woman's part and caught most of the symbolisms, and they liked the ending but found the worm's pov a bit like a "high school's science project." Lol. We went over everyones suggestions and I think I can fix it. (Hopefully before Dec. 31 deadline.) Thanks again.

mirandashell · Dec 10, 2011

Good luck with it, TooGrey.

PoV and Style

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