Need realistic responses to my character's dating advert

I'd troll the fuck out of that. I'd assume it was a guy looking to troll other guys who think they're some kind of Casanova.

There's no way in hell I'd take that seriously.

I can only assume she's fairly repressed and knows no sexually active women to whom she can talk frankly about what gets men off?

You've obviously never spent much time on a dating site. The number of fake profiles is much higher than you'd think. Particularly in the Females Seeking Females section, but I've seen more than a few in the Females Seeking Males section as well.

You want o see what kind of reaction it would get? Post it. You'll see. No one will take that seriously at all.

Nikki, I think her responses are going to run the gamut, and that because she's young, not bad-looking, and offering free sex, she's going to get a whole lot of replies. I would think at a popular website she'd be getting dozens of replies within a day, hundreds within a week. How many will you show?

I presume a lot of the replies will be crude, many will be somewhat illiterate, some will be friendly and warm, some might attempt humor, and some will be well-written and reassuring as they state qualifications. She might expect one or two which judge her negatively as a slut, and one which is more paternal and advises her to please be extremely careful.

Hell, one could make the whole book about the answers!

Maryn, having fun imagining replies

Edit: Jenn makes an excellent point. (Why didn't I think of that?) That too-good-to-be-true offer does seem suspiciously like something a guy would post just to see what happens.

jennontheisland said:

You want o see what kind of reaction it would get? Post it.

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This is the best response to this thread. There are dating sites out there. Sign up for one and create a profile in-character, then archive the flood of messages you receive for story research.

As presented, your ad reads like a newspaper cutting from the 70s.

Make sure you use a pic of a friend though, not some stock photo you find online. Some of us are smart enough to find the source code for pics on profiles and search google for "visually similar images". I've busted more than a few fake profiles doing that. One moron even used a pic of an actress and didn't get the reference to her in the trolly message I sent to him.

Yeah, it was pretty obvious what your plot was from reading your post.

I realize erotica (in particular erotic romance as this seems to be) rarely borders on realism, but most women are more than likely to talk to their friends about sex before they turn to "training" with random strangers. And dating sites are full of trolls and realists who will see a hot 22 year old needing sexual instruction as an obvious troll of its own. Why doesn't she just go to a bar and get picked up? Why doesn't she have a friend set her up? Why doesn't she just walk up to some random guy on the street and explain her situation? That's a lot more realistic than thinking she's going to get honest responses from people on a dating site who think it's not a joke.

If you put in the ad that it's just for novel research, you may as well not post it at all. You're not going to get real reactions.

I think that any passable woman who makes a public plea for no-strings sex from males would be totally and immediately overwhelmed with takers. Even if it seemed like it might be fake, they would still try, imo. Also, she would probably receive a good number of portraits of solitary wieners. I hear a lot of men think that is a fine way to introduce themselves, lol.

My problem with it is your premise. It struck me as either kind of wide-eyed silly or kind of cheesy pornish. I don't think any woman (or girl, even) would actually believe that she needed lessons in order to learn how to perform sexually to an acceptable standard. The acceptable standard is to spread her legs and act like she likes it. (He would be happy to guide the rest or even happy enough just with that). That involves no skill, yet is not likely to get her kicked out of bed or called names. Lying there "like a dead dog" sounds like she is not interested in him or not interested in sex, or that he lacks skill or isn't interested enough in her to bother. I think she would know that. Unfortunately I don't have any ideas right now on how to change it up, though.

That's my take on it, fwiw. But if you post it in SYW, please PM me. It would still be fun to read.

Nikki_Blaise said:

My MC in a novella I have started has placed the following advert on a dating website. Short of actually placing it on a website myself and seeing what genuine responses I get, what sort of range of responses do you think she would get to this:

SEX INSTRUCTOR WANTED

My ex-boyfriend said I made love ‘like a dead dog’.
Kind, experienced gentleman required for private tutoring.
No long-term commitment necessary.
This is an unpaid position.

There would be a picture with it - she is 22 and reasonably attractive.

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As a teenager I and a friend once posted a fake profile claiming we were two female nurses who lived together and wanted a guy to help spice up our relationship. Bear in mind, we didn't include any picture at all. It was just to see what would happen, we didn't try to contact anyone who wrote to the profile (although we joked about asking them all to show up in the same place with a red rose or something.)

Frankly, I thought it was an obvious attempt to troll, but that didn't stop us from getting thousands of emails over the next few months, and I don't remember many of them being of the "bait the troll" kind.
Most of them started off with something like "I know this is probably a fake profile, but...".
We got some guys who wrote out entire porn scenarios using our fake names, others who just sent four words (hey, how r u?), others who listed all their awesome qualities, and others who tried making charming jokes about popular culture (which seems to be the standard for dating site come-ons).
We had several guys who wouldn't take no answer for no, and wrote to us multiple times, and a couple of guys who tried the old, "I'm really really pathetic and if you don't let me have sex with you, I might remain pathetic."
Some were creepy, some were sweet, some were um, quite a bit older than the fake girls they were wooing, others were younger.
We only read the ones that seemed interesting in the end because there were hundreds of them.
So, yeah, I think you might get people thinking the profile is an attempt to troll, but honestly, with a chance at no-strings sex, I don't think you'd lack for hopeful replies.

My first reaction would be 'fake'. Second would be 'prostitute', even with the line - this is an unpaid position. As others have said, the responses would run the gamut from ridiculous to genuine. I don't believe an ad like that would attract the girl's dream guy. I'm not saying dating sights don't work, they do. But not from an ad like that.

My first reaction would be 'fake', possibly followed by 'law enforcement'.

It frankly reads like a plot device out of a late 70's Hustler or Penthouse letter.

Filigree said:

It frankly reads like a plot device out of a late 70's Hustler or Penthouse letter.

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Wait, are you saying that an erotica plot looks like porn??

Nikki_Blaise said:

SEX INSTRUCTOR WANTED

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Slightly better than average hooker ad, at least in local papers around here. I'd expect john-type responses. I'm presuming your character will spot one reply that will stand out from the others.

You can make the responses up. No one is going to get on your butt about it without admitting that they place similar ads, or respond to them.

Final thought: aren't there some online sites where solicitation and responses are both public?

Maybe nix the add all together. This young woman could enlist her girlfriends to help her find volunteers, check backgrounds, personal references...basically screen the applicants. They would all be men these women knew at least casually, and it would be safer and more realistic. Kind of.

Victoria said:

Maybe nix the add all together. This young woman could enlist her girlfriends to help her find volunteers, check backgrounds, personal references...basically screen the applicants. They would all be men these women knew at least casually, and it would be safer and more realistic. Kind of.

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Sex with strangers is a subset of erotica stories. The stranger-danger is supposed to be part of the thrill. I think the trouble with this premise is that it's intended to end with HEA whereas most that I've read are a good fuck and a good bye. The HEA of a relationship built on a "teach me to fuck" dating site ad runs a lot of risk of falling into the "he fucks me so good I love him" which appears with unfortunate regularity in erotic romance. There just doesn't seem enough to build a relationship on.

Besides that, erotic romance is typically aimed at women. Heros are important. Now, consider what kind of man is going to respond to an ad like that. Lastlittlebird showed you her experience. Guys like that are just not hero material.

Even if you did contrive to have a decent human (say one dared to reply by his friends) respond, you'd then have to contrive to build a lasting emotional relationship. Unlikely if the whole point of them being together is impersonal sex. I mean, really, beyond what gets them off, what are you going to really learn about a person, your emotional and spiritual compatibility, your shared goals and obstacles, in the 30 minutes of fucking and 10 minutes of getting dressed afterwards? It's not like they're going to invest the time in building an emotional connection if all he's out to do is teach her how to suck cock.

Which she can learn online, at any number of porn sites.

gentlemen would never reply to something like this. most would think she was a prostitute running a scam... but... she would get TONS of responses if the personal ads on craigslist is any indication... but not by anyone admirable... and mostly from guys that can't get laid otherwise.