Pulling faces

monkeymum · Nov 19, 2011

Is it just me or does anyone else find themselves pulling faces to find different ways of showing emotions? (My children are starting to think I've gone bonkers!)

I'm still struggling a little with show v tell and keep trying to find imaginative ways of describing actions which would be entertaining to MG children. As it stands I'm going to have a story full of raised eyebrows, rolling eyes and wide grins

(ooh, winking haven't used that yet!)

MsJudy · Nov 19, 2011

I've been known to get up and act out action scenes, too. Sometimes I'll even make my kids help, though mostly I don't because they never do it right...

MrRuff · Nov 19, 2011

I do this when I draw. As I'm working on a comic, I find myself subconsciously pulling the expression I'm drawing!

ColoradoKate · Nov 19, 2011

I totally do that--with hand gestures and whole-body movements, too! And sounds, like gasps....

But I've begun to realize how frighteningly easy it is to put in way too much of that sort of stuff. One of my early-revision strategies now is to go back and take out most of the eye-rolling and eyebrow-raising and so on, and either just leave the sentence shorter or try to replace the description with something more unusual.

Is that just me?

Morrell · Nov 19, 2011

ColoradoKate said:
I totally do that--with hand gestures and whole-body movements, too! And sounds, like gasps....

But I've begun to realize how frighteningly easy it is to put in way too much of that sort of stuff. One of my early-revision strategies now is to go back and take out most of the eye-rolling and eyebrow-raising and so on, and either just leave the sentence shorter or try to replace the description with something more unusual.

Is that just me?

No, it's not just you!

One of the things I focused on in revision was taking out a lot of the "eye" language--staring, eye-rolling, brow-raising, exchanging glances--and having them interact more with their environment. For instance, if they're walking through the woods, a character might express feelings by picking up a stick and snapping it in half, kicking a clump of grass, stumbling over a vine, putting a hand on a tree trunk to steady themselves, and so on. This helps to place the action more solidly in the setting, and eliminates a lot of repetitive behavior as well as the "green screen" problem.

monkeymum · Nov 19, 2011

RuthD said:
No, it's not just you! One of the things I focused on in revision was taking out a lot of the "eye" language--staring, eye-rolling, brow-raising, exchanging glances--and having them interact more with their environment. For instance, if they're walking through the woods, a character might express feelings by picking up a stick and snapping it in half, kicking a clump of grass, stumbling over a vine, putting a hand on a tree trunk to steady themselves, and so on. This helps to place the action more solidly in the setting, and eliminates a lot of repetitive behavior as well as the "green screen" problem.

^^ Great advice RuthD. I definitely need to think more broadly and use the character's environment to reflect emotions. As you say, it helps with embedding the action in the setting and give more depth to the scene.

MsJudy · Nov 19, 2011

Yep, this is an area to really polish up when you revise. If all they do is shrug or roll their eyes or frown, you probably don't even need to mention it. And if you do, then you have to make it mean something. Something unique to that individual, or something that clearly expresses their emotion at the time. I use similes a lot, but then I have to doublecheck that I'm not overdoing it!

Laura J · Nov 21, 2011

Another thing to look for, I think I have a lot of eye rolling, shrugging etc... in my WIP. I'm hoping that the more I write, the more these things will correct themselves in my work. Or is it that it is there in the first draft, and you have to revise them out?

I do find myself going back over the first part of the book everytime I learn something new. Checking for passive, show not tell, body parts acting on their own, too many faces... the list goes on.

So, I fix the parts I've written already and then feel overwhelmed when I start to write something new. It's almost paralyzing. I know I need to just move through and finish the first draft. It is plotted out and everything.

Feeling overwhelmed and pulling a face, can you guess which one?

Amarie · Nov 21, 2011

I try to limit myself to one or two eyerolls per story, though if some of my children's friends are anything to go by, I should have one every time an adult appears.

RexZentah · Nov 21, 2011

Remember, there is no such thing as an emotion existing by itself, otherwise your scene will fall flat: "I was surprised, surprised that Arnold was still conscious after I hit him in the head so many times," said Gunter.

It's show and tell. "My jaw dropped when Arnold stood back up, I had taken about a month of anger out on his head," said Gunter.

MsJudy · Nov 21, 2011

Amarie said:
I try to limit myself to one or two eyerolls per story, though if some of my children's friends are anything to go by, I should have one every time an adult appears.

Ha! So true!

I actually have a first grader who rolls her eyes at me every time I redirect her back to working instead of talking. Can't wait to see what she'll be like as a teenager...

monkeymum · Nov 22, 2011

Laura J said:
Another thing to look for, I think I have a lot of eye rolling, shrugging etc... in my WIP. I'm hoping that the more I write, the more these things will correct themselves in my work. Or is it that it is there in the first draft, and you have to revise them out?

I do find myself going back over the first part of the book everytime I learn something new. Checking for passive, show not tell, body parts acting on their own, too many faces... the list goes on.

So, I fix the parts I've written already and then feel overwhelmed when I start to write something new. It's almost paralyzing. I know I need to just move through and finish the first draft. It is plotted out and everything.

Feeling overwhelmed and pulling a face, can you guess which one?

I find it easier to write in layers, so basically I let myself put all the weak description/actions in, like shrugs, eye rolling etc. That way I know what I'm trying to convey without fussing to much about it. Then I go back afterwards and try and embed the actions into the scene more, make them more relevant and add more detail. I guess it depends on how you work, I prefer to edit and add to something that's already written, rather than try and get it spot on first time, but I guess it's horses for courses.

Laura J · Nov 22, 2011

monkeymum said:
I find it easier to write in layers, so basically I let myself put all the weak description/actions in, like shrugs, eye rolling etc. That way I know what I'm trying to convey without fussing to much about it. Then I go back afterwards and try and embed the actions into the scene more, make them more relevant and add more detail. I guess it depends on how you work, I prefer to edit and add to something that's already written, rather than try and get it spot on first time, but I guess it's horses for courses.

That's a really helpful way to look at writing, layers. I think that is what works for me too. I just hadn't thought about it like layers. That will really help me rethink the way I was thinking about the process. Thank you!

monkeymum · Nov 22, 2011

^ You're welcome

Pulling faces

monkeymum

MsJudy

MrRuff

Call me Brett. Or Lord Xch'tautl.

ColoradoKate

Morrell

monkeymum

MsJudy

Laura J

Odessa Quinn

Amarie

carpe libri

RexZentah

MsJudy

monkeymum

Laura J

Odessa Quinn

monkeymum